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Stinky Golfer Paradise

The articles in this category are the epitome of the GolfStinks ethos. Here's where you'll learn how to take the frustration out of your golf game!

Don’t You Wish All Your Golf Tournaments Could Be At Augusta National Where You Only Play the Par 4’s & Only Pay Like 80 Bucks?

January 7, 2015 | By Golf Stinks | Leave a Comment

poll ballot box
It’s time to tally our golf polls from 2014!

Every year we here at GolfStinks conduct a series of polls to garner the average golfer’s opinion of specific golf-related topics. And, every year around this time, we provide the results of those polls from the previous year. In 2014, we conducted seven polls throughout the year and will highlight five of them below…

Let’s begin in September, when we asked when your golf season ends. Our theory was that before the cold weather could set in, many recreational golfers would be summoned away from the course due to the start of college and pro football. But, that doesn’t seem to be the case. In fact, only 6 percent of you end your golf season because of live football on TV. And to our surprise, many of you (24%) keep playing until it snows. But something has to explain why the course seems more empty after Labor Day? Perhaps we can blame our sample, as many that read golf blogs are probably a bit more dedicated to golf than those who don’t.

In April, Stinky Golfer Greg announced he wasn’t playing in his college alumni tournament after learning it was $400. This led him to ask what golfers typically pay to play in a local charity tournament. More than half (53%) of you said you pay between $100 and $200, which was not surprising to us – $175 seems to be the norm for these types of tournaments. It was surprising though that nearly the other half of you (47%) claimed to pay less than $100 per tournament – where are these tournaments so we can sign up! Not one of you said you would pay more than $200, which makes us wonder how Greg’s alma mater can get away with charging twice that amount. One theory is many who play in these expensive tournaments are infrequent golfers who play for business- or political-related purposes. Or in the case of a college alumni tourney, perhaps the school is purposely setting the price high to woo the wealthy who attend into donating additional funds to the university.

In July we held a double poll – first we wanted to know how often you play par 3 and/or executive golf courses. And then we wanted to know if you’d consider playing those types of “short” courses more frequently. Well, 41 percent of you admitted to playing par 3 and/or executive courses “sometimes” while 36 percent of you claimed to “rarely” or “never” play them. And, a somewhat surprising number of you (16%) play them “frequently” or “all the time.” When asked if you would consider playing them more frequently, 65 percent of you answered “yes.” Perhaps this reflects the slow play and/or economic concerns of today?

In June, we wanted to know between par 3’s; par 4’s; and par 5’s, which hole-type was your favorite. We figured many would like the scenic quaintness of a par 3, or the ability to grip-it-and-rip-it on a par 5. We saw par 4’s as rather ho-hum. But much to our surprise, 43 percent of you said par 4 holes are your favorite! Meanwhile, 29 percent of you voted for par 3’s while 19 percent went with par 5’s. There were 9 percent of you who said you liked them all equally (cop-outs).

Finally, in March, we asked what your favorite major tournament in golf was. Nearly half of you (49%) said The Masters. Perhaps it’s due to the legendary beauty of Augusta National, or the fact that we held this poll just a week or so before the actual tourney – either way, we weren’t surprised at the results (maybe y’all should read this post). For what it’s worth, the British Open was second with 26 percent of the votes; the U.S. Open third with 14 percent; while the PGA Championship placed last with 11 percent.

That’s it for 2014 – but don’t worry, we plan on asking a bunch more questions in 2015…stay tuned!

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: Poll Results

That Ever Elusive Ace

January 5, 2015 | By Chris Chirico | Leave a Comment

There are a few things on every golfers list that they would like to achieve – some of it based on skill level.  Newbies and stinky golfers, for instance, may want to break 100.  Still stinky, but maybe a little more skilled golfers, may look to break 90.  The better at this game we get, breaking 80 may become a goal.  And then the best of us amateurs eventually may push to shoot, or even break par.  But no matter the skill level, be it a PGA pro or your average, everyday hack, the old hole-in-one is an achievement that every golfer wants to check off their list one day.  So when someone gets their hole-in one, you’re happy for them.  But what about when someone gets more than one?

Gus Andreone
Gus Andreone (photo by Tom Balog – golf.heraldtribune.com)

Has anyone heard about Gus Andreone?  Gus has been playing golf longer than most of us have been alive.  And he has a hole-in-one total that will make us all envious.  Gus has a total of eight aces since 1939.  Eight!  OK, granted, that’s a span of 75 years.  But if you do the math, that works out to one every nine or so years.  So by that math, I should be working on my second one.  But instead, in my golf career, I’ve only come pretty close once or twice.

Now, as if Gus having eight aces isn’t enough, to rub it in our faces even more…he just recorded the latest one a couple of weeks ago…at the age of 103.  How’s that feel?  A 103-year old man has now done for the eight time something that most of us, even in the primes of our careers, will never do.

On a good note, he has been playing golf for at least 75 years.  Many of us hope to live for 75 years!  He’s been playing golf for at least that long!  Maybe if I can put together a golfing lifespan even remotely close to that amount of time, I too can record at least one hole-in-one.

Swing ’til you’re happy!

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: ace, Gus Andreone, hole in one

2014 Top 10 Golf Stinks Posts

December 31, 2014 | By Golf Stinks | Leave a Comment

golfstinks "GS" logoIt seems 2014 was a rather negative year for golf – at least by judging the titles of our most popular posts over the past 12 months. The list below includes annoying things golfers do; general things wrong with the game; mass layoffs; and the notion that golf has seen its better days.

But fret not fellow golf enthusiasts, the game isn’t going anywhere. All that’s needed are a few tweaks to help recreational players get more enjoyment out on the links. And this is one of the main reasons this site exists – to help average golfers realize there’s more to golf than just the number on your scorecard.

That being said, enjoy our top 10 posts of 2014 and Happy New Year!

Number 1

Is Golf A Dying Sport? – Our most popular post was from July, when Stinky Golfer Greg summarized the recent woes that cast a darkness over the sport – from mass retail layoffs to reports of golfers quitting in droves. Is golf really on the brink of going extinct?

Number 2

10 Annoying Things Average Golfers Do – Our hilarious yet extremely factual list of golfer annoyances led the Back9Network to discuss this topic at length during their first week on the air back in November (Back9Network clip)!

Number 3

5 Things Wrong With Golf – Why beat around the bush? There are things that are inherently wrong with this great game and we took the liberty of highlighting five of them!

Number 4

Tee Area, Not a Pee Area – Back in March, we tackled the major issue of tinkling on the golf course…

Should this be a 2-stroke penalty? (photo by Greg D’Andrea)
Should this be a 2-stroke penalty? (photo by Greg D’Andrea)

Number 5

Golf Pros Dicked Over By Dick’s – After Dick’s Sporting Goods announced it was laying off nearly 600 golf pros from its retail stores nationwide, Stinky Golfer Pete interviewed one of the casualties to get the inside scoop.

Number 6

Lightning Strikes: How at Risk are Golfers? – As thunderstorm season approached, Stinky Golfer Greg reported the interesting results of a new study on lightning by the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration.

Number 7

Why I Can’t Wait to Start “Cheating” at Golf! – In April, Stinky Golfer Greg interviewed the CEO of Polara Golf – the inventor of the anti-slice golf ball that doesn’t conform to USGA regulations.

Can these balls save golf?
The Polara Golf Ball – it’s not cheating if everyone knows!

Number 8

3 Ways to Fix Golf – After asking if golf was a dying sport (see #1), Stinky Golfer Greg provided his take on how to fix current problems with the game.

Number 9

My Wife’s First Time – Having been recently married, Stinky Golfer Pete decided his wife’s first time (on the golf course) should be at night!

Number 10

How to Avoid Slow Play in Golf – In a post every average golfer (new and veteran alike) should read, Stinky Golfer Greg provides 3 ways to quicken your pace without ruining your golf experience.

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: top posts

Golf: A Life Long Journey

December 21, 2014 | By Pete Girotto | Leave a Comment

Golf gets better with age
How many people over 60 can still play other sports? (photo by Greg D’Andrea)

Many of us have participated in different types sports on every level. Most of us in a recreational manner but some have been blessed with the opportunity to showcase their skills in “the show”. For those not familiar, “the show” refers to the big leagues – NFL, NBA, MLB, NHL…you get the picture. Personally, I’ve played on competitive levels. Granted, not in “the show” but had the chance to compete against some that did and let me tell you, they deserved to be there.

It’s easy for us to watch a game on the television and say this guys sucks or that guy is a bum. What we might be forgetting is that these athletes are the best of the best. Against their peers it might now be so evident but trust me, they got game! However, as good as they may be their days are numbered. Most pros call it quits in their 30’s, a handful make it to 40 or so and that’s it the gloves are hung up.

Coming back to real life and us average joes, the age of the recreational player probably extends another 10-15 years maybe 20 but there  is an exception. Golf. I really can’t think of any other sport or activity that can be a part of our entire life, health permitting. Don’t get me wrong, I know there are senior leagues that exist but when was the last time you saw a 65 year old whip a 25 year old’s ass other than on a golf course? Exactly. Golf is one of the few things we can enjoy throughout our life.

Not only can we enjoy the game, we can actually get better as we age. For example, a gentleman in his 60’s I know, who we can call Phil, is putting up some the best scores he’s ever had. Why? Wisdom through experience. He’s more concerned about keeping it in play then smashing the s*** out of the ball. Less is more as he likes to put it. Hitting it 175 or 200 yards down the middle is way more beneficial than spraying a bomb all over creation. I would insert a grasshopper quote here but unfortunately I don’t have one.

So, if there’s one thing we can take away from this is that as a hack, our better days are ahead.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!! Or just keep it in play…

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: #enjoygolf, #somethingaboutgolf, MLB, NBA, nfl, NHL

Golf Has The Best Sayings

December 5, 2014 | By Pete Girotto | Leave a Comment

Even though he missed the ball, it still beats sitting in the office... (photo by Greg D'Andrea)
Even though he missed the ball, it still beats sitting in the office… (photo by Greg D’Andrea)

If we take a look back into the history of sports,  we will undoubtedly find quite the collection of memorable quotes, phrases and sayings. Whether motivational, inspirational, funny whatever, these groups of words have withstood the test of time and are often repeated to this day. I’m willing to bet that 95% of all bosses, managers, team leaders or coaches have used at least one at some point.

That said, I want to refer back to the title because of all the sports, golf has the best sayings. I mean, we can take some of the greatest sayings in sports like Wayne Gretzky’s “You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take.”  Don’t get me wrong, it’s great and all but for some reason it just doesn’t hit home. It’s like you hear it, it sinks in and then a few moments later it’s forgotten.

In general, the goal of these quotes is to give us something to live by. The problem is that most of them came from famous superstars. People that the average joe don’t necessarily relate to. Now, if we shift our attention over to something us hacks understand, you will see my point.

For example, the saying “A bad day of golf is better than a good day at work.” Ah ha! You see where I’m going. It doesn’t say a bad day of baseball, football, basketball, hockey, soccer, lacrosse or friggin’ cricket is better than a good day of work, does it? No, it’s golf. Now, who do you think said that? By process of elimination, I’m pretty sure it’s safe to say a non professional athlete of the working class. In other words…one of us. Thank you very much!

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

P.S. This was in no way a shot at Mr. Gretzky. He’s an incredible golfer and a pretty big advocate for the game. Not too shabby at hockey either I heard…

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: golf sayings, sports, wayne gretzky

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