Golf Life

Did you ever damage a club while you were out on the course? Of course you did. Did you continue to play with it? If it was anything less than snapped in half, then I’m sure many of you have. Well then, it’s a good thing you’re not on the tour. Because that’s exactly what once happened to PGA Tour pro Anthony Kim, and he was disqualified.

During a 2008 tournament, Anthony damaged the face of his club on a sprinkler head but continued to use the club for the next two holes. When he brought the damage to the attention of the officials, they promptly DQ’d him. Reason being is the club was damaged by something other than “normal” golf play – like he damaged it on purpose to gain an advantage.

Seriously, what advantage could he gain by damaging the club? I know the rules are the rules, I get that. But at some point, common sense has to be brought into the mix.

For a sport that should, for the most part, boil down to – hit the ball, walk to it, hit it again, repeat until the ball is in the hole – they sure do make it complicated. I mean, every sport needs it’s basic set of rules. And with golf, there are things to take into account that don’t come into play in other sports. Things such as water hazards, cart paths, sand traps and out-of-bounds…basically, places the ball can be lost. But I have to tell you, there is no sport that has more rules which can be described in one simple word – Stupid.

Have you ever taken the time to look through the USGA rule book? I for one have not…but I understand that many golfers have and some really take it seriously. Since I haven’t taken the time to look through the rules (and really have no intention of doing so), I’m just going by research and listening in on conversations. From what I understand, there are 34 basic rules to golf. But somehow these 34 rules turn into a 176 page book! After learning about and researching some oddball moments, I have to wonder if the people who write and amend these rules have ever played a sport. No wait, before that, I have to wonder if these people have a shred of common sense.

I think there are two problems that plague the USGA rules. I’ll give you my opinions and then some examples. Problem #1 – Most sports (NFL, NBA, MLB) have a rules committee that meets once a year to review anything questionable and take some type of immediate action. The USGA? Once every four years. Problem #2 – Golf is still living in the “gentleman’s game” and “honor system” dark ages. But the problems with that are: #1 – The game has changed over the years (in the Anthony Kim example, there were no sprinkler heads on courses in 1870). And #2 – some of the rules have evolved away from the “honor system” and the players are punished for it. Onto some examples and opinions.

Stewart Cink once hit a ball that landed on the edge of a fairway bunker (not in the bunker). When attempting to line up his next shot, he stepped into the bunker, out again, then promptly hit hit his ball into a green-side bunker. When his caddie raked the footprint in the bunker, Cink was DQ’d for “testing the surface of a hazard.” Why is this rule stupid? Because his first ball was not in the bunker at all! The ruling implies that he was “testing the surface” because he was attempting to hit his next shot into the green-side bunker! Why the hell would he do that?! Plus, if his caddie didn’t rake the trap, then where would he stand in the golf etiquette argument? Once again…common sense needs to enter into the mix somewhere.

Did you know that if you one-hand tap your ball into the hole, but are holding another club in your other hand, you should be hit with a two-stroke penalty? This is considered using two clubs. Why is this stupid? If I land a ball just off of the green, I will walk to the ball with both a wedge and my putter. If I chip the ball to within two inches, I will just carry both clubs over and save time by tapping in with one hand. We have all done it. But the rules would have me waste the time by placing the wedge down, line up the putt, then putt, then pick up my ball and wedge when done. This one is not bad, but it is an annoying rule which just causes wasted time.

Michelle Wie was once DQ’d after completion of her round because she failed to sign her scorecard before leaving the scoring area! Can you believe that?! A designated scoring area?! That has to be one of the single most asinine rules in ANY sport! The fact that all of these tournaments employ numerous officials and scorekeepers, and the player still has to keep their own score is ridiculous enough. But to have a designated scoring area? Is this a kindergarten class? Is that like a designated coloring book area? You sit in time-out if you talk in the designated napping area? Stupid.

Brandt Snedeker was once assessed a one-stroke penalty when he dropped his ball marker onto his ball, moving the ball in the process. OK, I sort of understand this one. But if he was to “accidentally” move the ball while he was placing his ball marker, that would be perfectly fine. What?! So he can move the ball while in the process of putting the marker down, but he accidentally drops the marker onto the ball and it’s a penalty? Come on people! Get with it already! Stupid.

Here’s a great one. If you have addressed your ball while it is on the green, and wind (or really anything besides your putter) moves the ball, then it’s a one-stroke penalty. However, if you have not yet addressed your ball, then it’s perfectly fine! A freak tornado can spring up and blow your ball right into the hole and it’s fine…as long as you haven’t addressed the ball yet. You laugh? Well I’m sure Padraig Harrington wasn’t laughing when it happened to him at The Masters. Here are those same two words again…common sense. Now the rule-makers are expecting the players to predict weather patterns! Like your caddie is going to say “Hold on! Don’t address that ball yet!! Don’t you know there is a 28 MPH gust of wind expected to hit this green in approximately three seconds!! Yup….here it is now…and there goes your ball.”

This one will answer an age old question/joke that happens on average once per foursome per round – If you knock your ball off of the tee while lining up your drive, there is no penalty. Just put the ball back on the tee and hit away. I wonder what happens if you don’t knock it off, but the wind does?

Did you know it is legal to hit a ball while it is moving in a stream?

Here’s another great one! Bart Bryant was once penalized two strokes for “allowing” playing partner Martin Laird to pat down the mark his ball left on the fringe. Laird however, was not penalized because the officials believed he was not trying to help Bryant. The worst parts of this are: #1 – Bryant simply answered “yes” to Laird’s question “Is this your line?” Bryant did not ask that it be repaired. Laird took it upon himself to do so. #2 – The repair did nothing to assist Bryant as he was still 50 feet from the flag, in the rough! Common Sense. Stupid.

I’m sure there are hundreds, even thousands, more examples. Feel free to share ’em if you’ve got ’em. These are just a few that caught my interest. As I mentioned earlier…common sense has to enter the picture at some point. I understand rules are rules and if you’re going to play a sport professionally, you have to know said rules. But bad or outdated rules have to be removed, changed, amended…whatever.

I can’t imagine any hack like me being this particular and this serious about the rules. I know I’m not. My buddies and I play by the basic rules, but all of this other nonsense is just that. If you want to take the rules that seriously, then go right ahead. But I will tell you, if I ever get stuck playing with someone who is this much of a stickler and they start calling me on some of these things, before the end of the round they’ll be walking funny and I’ll need a new umbrella.