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From Pool Halls To Golf Courses.

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golf ball moneyIt’s not often I associate the act of hustling someone out of their money with golf. When I think of hustling and as the title implies, I imagine a pool hall (sorry for stereotyping) with Fast Eddie and Vince (The Color of Money) type characters scheming on their next mark. Don’t get me wrong, I know there is a good amount of gambling done on the course amongst golfers, but how often do we consider it hustling?

I was reading an older article from a famous cigar magazine geared towards…uhhh…aficionados and the story told of an anonymous hustler, “Leon”, that took millions of dollars from other golfers. His victims ranged from oil tycoons to touring pro’s. You know, I’m not 100% sure if this story was glamorized or not but there were definitely some interesting points made.

A good rule of thumb I learned that applies to most situations involving making a deal, bet or whatever, is to take a good look around and spot the sucker. If you don’t see one then guess what…it’s probably you. With that in mind, I had a better understanding of Leon’s strategy.

His multifaceted plan to hustle people on the golf course is quite impressive. In fact it probably would be a great strategy for businesses. The key here was he wouldn’t play unless he knew he had the advantage. Secondly, he was a great match maker. He would put together matches that seemed fair but obviously he had the leg up.

One thing to mention is he never faked he couldn’t play. That’s just a slime ball move very easily detected. All of his opponents did know he was a good golfer but insisted they could still beat him. Another significant strength for Leon was the ability to play under pressure when big money was on the line. He pointed out that most people (including pros) would crumble when their money was at stake. Go figure…

It’s pretty interesting to know there are golf sharks out there. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad, but it sure adds a layer of character to the game. So remember to keep this story in mind next time someone asks, “Do you want to make this round more interesting?”

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

P.S. Almost forgot…you can view the story here.

When Golf & Skiing Tied the Knot

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Okemo Valley Golf Club (photo by Greg D’Andrea)

As we push into late December, I’m constantly reminded (via radio, TV and billboard advertisements) that besides being the holiday season, it’s also skiing season. Here in New England, the prime ski location is Vermont – and one such ski mecca in the Green Mountain State is a place called Okemo.

Okemo’s advertisements are everywhere – images of snowboarders getting major air on a halfpipe or a family of four gliding cheerfully down a picturesque slope. But this excitement conjures up nada in me. Nope, when I hear the name “Okemo” I immediately think summertime and envision one of the top golf courses in Vermont.

In case you haven’t guessed, I’m not a skier. I’ve never been skiing and have never really had any desire to attempt it. But the irony is, I’ve been to some awesome ski resorts. Let’s take Okemo as an example – what was once a name only recognizable by skiers, now boasts several accolades…for golf:

  • Best Public Course in Vermont, 2006 Golfweek
  • Top 50 Courses in America, 2003 Golf For Women
  • Top Modern Club in Vermont, Golfweek
  • Best New Course in America nominee, Golf Digest

When you think about it, it makes sense to put a golf course at a ski resort. But what’s interesting is golfing at ski resorts is a relatively new phenomenon. According to the April/May 2011 edition of Cigar Aficionado, turning a ski resort into a year-round attraction is big business – for both the resort and the surrounding towns:

All of the big ski resort operators such as Intrawest, Aspen Skiing Co., Vail Resorts and Boyne Resorts, along with many smaller peers, have turned their focus from selling lift tickets to selling real estate. To do this, they have had to offer more than just skiing. The new mountain town mantra is “lifestyle,” and for more than a decade, once sleepy or even chichi ski towns have been busy repositioning themselves as year-round centers of sport and culture, building performing arts centers, sushi bars, bike trails, village centers, parks, ziplines and, most of all, golf courses.

To me this is extremely smart. Not just because of the obvious (that you can stay open year-round), but because I feel golfers and skiers are cut from a different cloth. Sure there may be some overlap, but for the most part, skiers are adventurers, while golfers are more pragmatic. Economically, this is a brilliant marriage, because the ski resort is not only reaching more people, but also reaching different types of people.

But the golfers have it slightly better (as the Cigar Aficionado article acknowledges):

[Ski towns] are famous around the globe and synonymous with luxury vacation hospitality, but even in ski season, most of their appeal and most of the time spent by visitors is off the slopes. All of these ancillary benefits, from fine dining to five-star lodging, can still be enjoyed in golf season, though without the crowds—and usually at much more reasonable prices.

And this is true – my experience playing at ski resort courses has always been great golf, at a great price, in a relaxed and quite atmosphere. Of course, as more people begin realizing these ski resort golf courses are out there, the more busy they will become.

But for now, the fact that these places have two very distinct atmospheres (depending on when you visit) will remain intact. For example, when you click on Okemo’s website during the winter, you don’t even realize they have a golf course! It’s as if they’re marketing department has recognized the two clientele are complete opposites.

Click on that same URL in the summer, and the golf course takes center stage. I’ve actually had conversations with skiers who mention Okemo and I’ll say something like “Oh, I love Okemo!” And they’ll look at me rather puzzled – they’ll ask: “I thought you didn’t ski?”

I guess the marketing is working.

The Consequences of being a Good Golfer

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Angry twenty something couple yelling at each other
Being a good golfer takes its toll on more than you might think… (photo by Vic / CC BY 2.0)

There’s an old Jerry Seinfeld bit that pokes fun at how people view those who won silver medals instead of gold: “What happened? Did you trip? Didn’t hear the gun go off?” Seinfeld highlights the preposterous fact that a fraction-of-an-inch is the difference between the “greatest guy in the world” and “never heard of him.”

Well, the same can be said of golf. You see, the vast majority of golfers stink – we have trouble breaking 90 or even 100. Then there’s a smaller group of “better players” who will shoot in the 80’s regularly and break into the 70’s once-in-a-while. Meanwhile, the tour players are a tiny, elite group of talented athletes who are making money because they are the best golfers the world has to offer.

But what about that other group? You know – those scratch golfers that can shoot around par most of the time, but are just a smidge shy of that elite “best in the world” class? In my opinion, these people have it the worst.

I once worked with a woman who had just gone through a terrible divorce. Did he cheat on her? No. Beat her? No. Verbally abuse her? No. This guy lost his marriage because he was a really good golfer – the type of player we average hacks are always striving to be.

He consistently shot near par, and won many local tournaments. These talents led him on a quest to make a mini tour (to compare to baseball, this would be the A or double-A leagues of golf, where the Nationwide Tour would be equivalent to triple-A). This kept him on the road and away from home. Friends and family would praise his golfing abilities and encourage him to keep trying to qualify for any tour he could. But he wasn’t making any money doing this – in fact, he was spending more than he could make, and at 30, he was neglecting other responsibilities in his life. Thus came the inevitable strain on his marriage, fights with his wife, and subsequent separation. He’s never qualified for the PGA tour. I’m not sure he even qualified for a mini tour.

But even if he had made a mini tour, would his life be more stable? Would the money start rolling in? Hardly. In the April 2010 edition of Cigar Aficionado, there’s an article penned by Hooters Tour-player, Nick Mackay. Mackay, perhaps unintentionally, paints an uninviting portrait of life on a mini tour – driving across the American South, racking up more than 30,000 miles on his car annually and paying over a grand to enter a tourney where he may not even make the cut (which also means he wouldn’t get paid).

Mackay will turn 28 in May, and it appears other responsibilities are catching up to him. “Due to several factors” he only played in 10 events in 2009. And he disclosed that being short on cash forced him to skip the PGA Q School in 2010: “…the hefty entry fee is the main reason I did not sign up to go back to [Q] school for the third time this year. It was a tough decision, but in my circumstance, paying the rent during the winter took precedence over career ambitions.” Regardless, Mackay still says he would never trade life on the mini tour for a steady paycheck. I wish him all the luck in the world. But that’s a tough sell when you’re pushing 30 and are partaking in what he describes as “glorified gambling” for a living.

The reality is we all want to be good golfers. But to be that good yet not good enough? Sometimes…just sometimes, in a fleeting moment of sheer arrogance and/or bitterness, I like to think I’m the one in the better position – glad that I’m not good enough to consider chasing down pipe dreams while wasting my time and money.

But that’s all BS. The moment I finish posting this, I’m off to buy a new driver – one that I hope will make me a better player; closer to the level of Mr. Mackay, the divorcee or anyone else who ever had a shot at the gold medal.

Bogies and Stogies; The Love Affair Golfers have with Cigars

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The "cigar tee" (photo by Greg D'Andrea)
The “cigar tee” (photo by Greg D’Andrea)

I remember we were up in Saratoga, NY one summer hacking our way through a local track (golf, not horse). We had purchased some cigars downtown that day and while I don’t recall the name, I do recall they tasted like candy (vanilla- tipped, I believe). I had to toss mine out after only a few minutes…the sugar made my mouth water so much, it turned the tip into mush. I remember thinking that if I took a swing with it in my mouth, it would have probably flown out and branded Stinky Golfer Pete on the forehead.

Nevertheless, I’m seeing more and more cigars on the course these days. Why is that I wonder? Are cigars and golf really meant for each other? It often seems the two are inseparable. One time, Stinky Golfer Chris pulled out a cigar tee – that’s right, a piece of plastic he stuck in the ground next to his wooden ball tee. The wooden tee, of course, supported his ball and this piece of plastic supported Mr. Cigar. Anyway, as I watched Chris tee-off that day, I began to realize that cigars are as much a part of the game as fuzzy animal club-head covers.

Let’s face it, you can buy cigars in almost every 19th hole and in most upscale clubhouses. Why, even the MOFOBETE has a “We Card” sticker on the side of her snack bin. You may know Cigar Aficionado, the magazine for cigar smokers, used to sponsor the Montecrisco Cup (a pro-am golf event that was held in Puerto Rico) and currently has a page dedicated to golf on its website. On top of that, there’s an actual Stogies & Bogies golf tournament located in the Chicago area.

So, it seems golf and cigars tied-the-knot some years ago. But, how did this marriage of bogies and stogies begin?

I guess I could attempt to find some evidence that points to a reason for this union, but many facts are obvious. For example, I surmise it’s partly because cigars project a sophistication of sorts – young players see older “executive types” cigaring-it-up while schmoozing with other VP’s on the course. Heck, the game of golf itself has rather hoity-toity undertones (after all, it’s a gentleman’s game); why not complete the look with a nice Macanudo hanging from your jaw?

But, before we transform ourselves into big, pompous gentlemen, there’s also the “mosquito theory.” We’ve all heard that one: light a cigar on the course to keep the bugs away. I’d say this is the number one excuse hackers like myself give for lighting up. But, does it really work? Some say yes, while others claim it’s just an excuse they give their significant other to help explain-away the ashtray mouth. As for me, the jury’s still out…although, the last time I lit up on the course, the bugs disappeared (hear that, Honey)?

Other examples include those that say cigars help you relax before a round or a shot. And still others say it gives you something to enjoy while fishing your ball out of a creek. Whatever the reason, a percentage of golfers smoke cigars on the course, while others think: “Should I light one up too? I know I don’t smoke cigars anywhere else, but it seems the golf course is the place to do it.”

And that’s the funny thing; many people are cigar smokers only while golfing! It’s like those people who smoke cigarettes only while drinking. To me, this solidifies the notion that cigar smoking is somehow part of the game: Rule 26-1: If a ball is in or is lost in a water hazard, promptly light up a stogie as near as possible to the original position of the ball. I had to check my rulebook to make sure the previous statement was NOT in there!

In any event, I guess smoking a cigar while on the course is to toast the game of golf. For example, fathers pass out cigars for the birth of their baby; or you may light one as the clock strikes midnight on New Year’s Eve…in either case, you’re celebrating. With golf, people celebrate being one with nature, the time with friends, the birdie on 6 or the quadruple on 12. Bottom line, golf is just one of those games that makes you want to celebrate…the optional cancer stick is up to you.

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