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3 Reasons You Stink at Golf

May 5, 2015 | By Greg D'Andrea | 1 Comment

3 reasons you stink at golf
You stink at golf…and that’s OK! (Photo by Angela Gray / CC BY 2.0)

Let’s face it, you stink at golf. Most golfers accept this – especially those who can’t break 100. But even if you come close to par once in a while, you still kinda stink. I mean sure, a 10 handicap is a much better player than a 20 handicap, but in the bigger scheme of things, that’s kind of like splitting hairs, don’t you think?

Whether you’re a 10 handicap, a 15, a 20 or even a 5 – the reality is, you’re probably not going to make the pro tour anytime soon. Why? Because you stink at golf. Now I realize some of you might take umbrage with this, so here are a few reasons to prove my point…

#1: You Most Likely Don’t Play Enough.
How much do you think you’d need to play/practice golf in order to be really good? Once a week? Sorry, not gonna cut it. Honestly, most average golfers play just a handful of times per year – so playing once a week would be fairly frequent, generally speaking. But in reality, once a week falls well short of what’s needed. Most aspiring tour players practice a minimum of 6 hours a day (and that’s not including the time they’re actually playing a round). For most of us, this is simply unrealistic. But even if we could spend hours a day working on our game, we’d have to know what we’re doing – which means we’d need a good teacher, because…

#2: You Probably Learned to Play the Wrong Way.
Most average golfers learned to play from other average golfers – friends and family members who played. Thus, we were messed up from the beginning. When you finally do go see a pro, you find the learning curve is much greater – even employing the correct grip will feel so uncomfortable, you’ll probably revert back to your old, incorrect grip before long. Practice only makes perfect if you’re practicing correctly – maybe you should invest in a complete instructional program, like Bird Golf, which has some of the best golf schools out there. Or start reading how to become better, by checking out the Bird Golf blog. In any event, learning to play golf correctly and playing way more frequently are two big steps to playing better. But then again, there’s also the fact that…

#3: You Just Might Not Have the Raw Talent.
Lessons and practice will only get you so far. In the end, you’ll have to have a bit of talent somewhere within those bones of yours in order to be truly good at golf. Consider the difference between your local club pro and a player on tour. Both have practiced their butts off over the years; both have learned the proper mechanics; and both are scratch golfers. Yet most club pros couldn’t make it on the tour because the raw talent that guys like Rory and Tiger possess greatly exceeds the talent of your average zero handicapper. And talent isn’t just athletic ability either – in golf, controlling your mental game is a talent in and of itself. Pro tour golfers are excellent managers of the space between their ears and this might be the greatest separation between a tour player and a club pro.

So now that I’ve pointed out just how virtually impossible it is to be a really good golfer, where does that leave us? Well, for most of us, it leaves us right back where we started…a stinky golfer, which based on my logic above is anyone who scores over par (which is most everyone). But that’s OK! Because if you can accept your place in the golf world, then you are ready to put this “good golfer” stuff behind you and move forward with just playing this game for fun. After all, that is why you play, isn’t it?

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: #enjoygolf, bird golf, birdgolf.com, golf lessons, rory mcilroy, tiger woods

The Dilemma of The Masters

April 8, 2015 | By Greg D'Andrea | 2 Comments

Augusta National is known for both it's beauty and discrimination.
Augusta National is known for both its beauty and discrimination.

For the past few days, people that don’t even play golf – that don’t even know how to hold a club – are coming up to me and saying things like, “Hey, it’s Masters week…aren’t you excited?” This is proof The Masters has transcended sports – it’s the closest thing golf has to the Super Bowl or Final Four, where even non-sports fans are vaguely aware of its existence.

But as the saying goes: “With great power comes great responsibility.” And I’m not so sure this tournament is putting golf’s best foot forward. While there’s good in The Masters, there’s also a dark side.

For starters, The Masters is, in fact, the best marketing tool the industry has to kick-off the golf season. Think about it: Just as the ground is thawing in the northern part of the world, here comes the most popular tournament of the year to help get the proverbial golf juices flowing.

In addition, the event is held at one of the most beautiful golf clubs in the world – Augusta National. When the tournament is held in early April, Georgia is already in the full bloom of spring – with magnolias and azaleas adding magnificent highlights to a lush, emerald-green grass backdrop (and if spring is late, they’ll just get the spray paint out…).

Of course, Augusta National is also the poster child for every single negative golf stereotype…like, ever. It didn’t allow African Americans until the 1990’s. It didn’t allow women until 2012 (and when finally doing so, it pulled off what can be called one of the biggest public relations stunts in golf by naming Condoleeza Rice as a member…who is both black and a woman).

And if having a membership of predominately white men doesn’t personify the golf stereotype enough, the invitation-only club features names that reek of money…Bill Gates and Warren Buffett to name just two. So the equation would look something like this: White + Rich + Men = Augusta. And if Augusta = Golf (as many would agree), then Golf = White + Rich + Men.

Thus, The Masters is a catch-22 for the golf industry. On the one hand, it’s the kick-start the game desperately needs at the beginning of each season. Yet on the other hand, the legendary course has a history in stark contrast to how the golf industry wants to grow – in particular to minorities and women.

Yet The Masters influences golfers all over the world. After all, Augusta National is easy on the eyes and beautiflul in both appearance and layout. Mere images of Amen Corner fill your head with blissful daydreams – of navigating those cushy fairways – every step so magical you’re truly concerned that soft spikes aren’t soft enough.

Oh what we golfers wouldn’t give to experience this oasis of a course that offers such contrast to our local munis. Why can’t your club look like this? Well, it can – you just wouldn’t be able to afford it anymore.

This is a cruel coincidence of The Masters – the notion that all of which inspires us each spring is very rarely (if ever) accessable to the average golfer. In fact, Augusta National has set such high grooming standards for itself that it must resort to camouflaging its blemishes just to maintain appearances.

All this has led to the “Augusta Effect” – the notion that golfers have come to expect impossibly high standards of their local course from what they see on their HDTV each spring. This, in turn, has ultimately led to higher greens fees throughout the game.

While still struggling to overcome recent economic woes, golfers and the golf industry alike are left trying to live up to expectations they can no longer afford. A catch-22 indeed. There’s a gigantic rift between what made golf what it is today and where it needs to go for tomorrow.

Despite this however, The Masters has ultimately bled into the American mainstream. It, for better or worse, has helped put golf on the map for the general public. For this, it will forever be synonymous with both the start of the golf season and the beauty this game has to offer.

It’s just too bad the host course has such an unsavory past.

Filed Under: The Pro Tours Tagged With: #golfdiversity, augusta national, bill gates, The Masters, tiger woods, warren buffet

5 Reasons They Think Golf is Stupid

March 30, 2015 | By Greg D'Andrea | 8 Comments

golf in the rain
Rain or shine, golf is still golf. But some folks will never understand why we love this game…

Without question, there are those in this world who cannot see the point of golf. The thought of chasing a little white ball around hundreds of acres of land is the most ridiculous thing they’ve ever heard.

And from their completely superficial viewpoint, you can (sort of) understand where they’re coming from. To the outsider, some things about this game are, well…stupid. Here are five of them I tend to hear over and over again…

1. Golf is stupid because we really do chase a little white ball around. In the very simplest of terms, we golfers hit a ball, walk after said ball, and then hit it again. Taken on its own, I could see how this is mind-boggling to the non-golfer. But we golfers also know there’s so much more to this game than chasing balls. First of all, hitting that ball where you want it to go takes a whole hell-of-a-lot of skill. But beyond this, golf is a very complex and thought-provoking game. And of course there’s the camaraderie aspect of it and the “walk in nature” aspect, etc. Taken collectively, golf is a wonderful game. And speaking of taking a walk in nature…

2. Golf is stupid because you shouldn’t have to pay to take a walk in nature. Again, taken on its own, one shouldn’t have to pay to walk in the woods. But golf courses need to be maintained in order to play the game properly and that maintenance costs money. We golfers will gladly pay a greens fee to putt on a smooth green.

3.Golf is stupid because it wastes valuable space. Golf courses and cemeteries, right? At least according to Al Czervik and apparently many others. Now I will admit there are probably too many golf courses out there – I mean you’re more likely to run across a golf course before a McDonald’s restaurant here in the U.S. But a complete waste of space? Not if people are enjoying themselves. Plus, many courses preserve wildlife habitat and invest and care for those areas far more than they would be if the course was not there.

4. Golf is stupid because of the clothes. OK, it’s hard to argue with this one – when the sport’s primary style is the clothing of choice for retired men everywhere, you might not be on the cutting edge of fashion. But nowadays more athletic gear (and less old man garb) is becoming more popular (and acceptable) on the course – so things are slowly changing for the better.

5. Golf is stupid because most people play even though they’re not any good at it. Guilty as charged. And I should add I’m totally fine with that. Where does it say you have to be great at something in order to love it? And golf is scaleable – the handicap system helps you compete against anyone no matter their skill. And you can even compete against your previous score. There’s so much to appreciate about golf regardless of your level of play.

So with the exception of the clothes we wear, anyone who tells you golf is stupid are they themselves probably a bit, well…stupid. If you don’t fancy golf, that’s cool. But to call it stupid when you don’t fully understand it? Well, let’s just say that leaves more tee-times for the remaining 30+ million folks out there who do.

Filed Under: Golf Life Tagged With: #somethingaboutgolf, golf apparel, too many golf courses

Signs of Golf

March 9, 2015 | By Greg D'Andrea | 1 Comment

Let’s face it, the people who run golf courses don’t trust us.  I’m not saying they’re not justified in their distrust, I’m simply stating a fact. If you want proof, all you have to do is read some of the signs you come across on the course.

I myself have seen countless signs on tee-boxes, by greens and of course, plastered all around the clubhouse and proshop. Below are a few signs that I just had to snap a photo of…

One thing courses do to try and keep golfers from hitting into one another is devise warning systems. I’ve seen super tall flag sticks planted in the middle of a fairway so you can waive back to those on the tee that it’s OK to hit. I’ve seen bells placed in the fairway to ring and I’ve even seen a periscope setup on the tee so golfers can tell when the group ahead is out of range. But the sign below takes the cake…

Golf hole instructions
Portland Golf Course (photo by Greg D’Andrea)

Apparently the urge to relieve yourself is far too great on this tee-box…

Tee Area Not A Pee Area
Topstone Golf Course (photo by Greg D’Andrea)

How about this one – Are golfers drowning themselves after bad approach shots? OK, maybe they just don’t want you fishing out balls from the pond, but who’s taking the cart beyond that point??

Danger golfers!
Tunxis Plantation – White Course (photo by Greg D’Andrea)

I love signs on the first hole because they tell you a lot about the course you’re about the play. Some courses do it right – for example, a 9-hole course close to my home used to have a sign that read “No one is offended by poor play, but everyone is offended by slow play” – I never forgot it, even though the sign is long gone. Other courses, well…see below…

Golf sign
Airways Golf Course (photo by Greg D’Andrea)

But some course managers also have a sense of humor too – check out these two signs:

tomb stone golfer
Pine Valley Golf Course (photo by Greg D’Andrea)

And perhaps my personal favorite…

Golf Hole From Hell
Airways Golf Course (photo by Greg D’Andrea)

If you liked these, check out the entire Pinterest board we’ve dedicated to golf signs:

Follow GolfStinks’s board Signs of Golf on Pinterest.

Filed Under: Golf Life Tagged With: golf cart, golf course, golf signs, signs on the golf course

The Re-education of Stinky Golfer Greg

March 2, 2015 | By Greg D'Andrea | 3 Comments

stinky golfer greg
Stinky Golfer Greg on the course in 2014

I’ve been at this blog thing for more than 5 years now and in that time, my opinions and beliefs towards golf have changed somewhat. I didn’t always want to change my opinion on things (and was very reluctant in some instances) but overtime, I did indeed change.

Now don’t get me wrong, my overall ethos has remained relatively intact: That golf should be about having fun. But what’s changed is the length to which I’ll go to ensure I have that fun. I’d like to explain, but feel it’s prudent to provide some historical context first…

As I type this, I’m 40 years old. Let’s rewind about 23 years – I’m a senior in high school and playing varsity golf (not that we had a JV squad or anything, but if we did, I most likely would have been on it instead).

Despite being a less-than-stellar player, participating in organized golf from a young age taught me two important things: To respect the rules and your fellow golfers. Thus, it was no surprise I carried both of those virtues with me into my adult golfing life. I loved golf and eventually decided to go on a quest to play every public 18-hole course in my state (you can read about that HERE).

The quest put me on some very nice, upscale golf courses, that average hacks like me typically wouldn’t dare step foot on. It made me think: “What a waste – where in the rulebook does it say bad golfers can’t play good courses?” So it was this that really caused me to embrace the whole “play for fun” mantra.

This ideology was carried into the creation of this blog, where I (along with Stinky Golfers Chris, Pete & Tom) embarked on a new quest to re-educate the average golfer that it was OK to be, well…average at golf. Yet even though I was saying something rather revolutionary to the majority of golfers, I still kept in check certain things such as the rulebook and (what I felt was) the integrity of the game.

I scoffed at things like game-improving equipment. Non-USGA-conforming golf balls? Blasphemy! Illegal drivers and putters? That’s cheating! Fifteen-inch holes? What a joke! All the while I still took my mulligans, gimmies and roll-overs out on the course. A bit hypocritical, don’t you think?

Things began to change however when I interviewed David Felker, CEO of Polara Golf. Now Mr. Felker didn’t say anything particularly profound, but he helped put things in perspective for me: Why should average golfers be held to the rulebook of the USGA (an organization whose mission is primarily to rank the best golfers in the country)?

Golf is a simple game – hit a ball with a club until it goes in a hole. Now I understand that if you’re talented enough to win tournaments, then you might want to play the game professionally – and for that, you need to play by the pro-tour’s complicated rules. But for the rest of us, is there no relief?

By and large, we should be able to play the game with whatever rules we see fit. Allow mulligans or don’t. Allow gimmies or don’t. Allow non-USGA-conforming equipment or don’t – it doesn’t matter as long as your playing partners are all following the same guidelines.

And contrary to what you might think, none of this diminishes the integrity of the game – not even 15-inch holes do that. The integrity of golf remains intact simply because so many bad golfers love playing it.

In my post last week, I show how accepting I am in doing whatever it takes for people to have fun playing this game – and though it took nearly 5 years of blogging to open up my mind to this way of thinking, I’m ultimately glad I was re-educated.

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: david felker, polara, quest, rules of golf

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