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5 Reasons They Think Golf is Stupid

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golf in the rain
Rain or shine, golf is still golf. But some folks will never understand why we love this game…

Without question, there are those in this world who cannot see the point of golf. The thought of chasing a little white ball around hundreds of acres of land is the most ridiculous thing they’ve ever heard.

And from their completely superficial viewpoint, you can (sort of) understand where they’re coming from. To the outsider, some things about this game are, well…stupid. Here are five of them I tend to hear over and over again…

1. Golf is stupid because we really do chase a little white ball around. In the very simplest of terms, we golfers hit a ball, walk after said ball, and then hit it again. Taken on its own, I could see how this is mind-boggling to the non-golfer. But we golfers also know there’s so much more to this game than chasing balls. First of all, hitting that ball where you want it to go takes a whole hell-of-a-lot of skill. But beyond this, golf is a very complex and thought-provoking game. And of course there’s the camaraderie aspect of it and the “walk in nature” aspect, etc. Taken collectively, golf is a wonderful game. And speaking of taking a walk in nature…

2. Golf is stupid because you shouldn’t have to pay to take a walk in nature. Again, taken on its own, one shouldn’t have to pay to walk in the woods. But golf courses need to be maintained in order to play the game properly and that maintenance costs money. We golfers will gladly pay a greens fee to putt on a smooth green.

3.Golf is stupid because it wastes valuable space. Golf courses and cemeteries, right? At least according to Al Czervik and apparently many others. Now I will admit there are probably too many golf courses out there – I mean you’re more likely to run across a golf course before a McDonald’s restaurant here in the U.S. But a complete waste of space? Not if people are enjoying themselves. Plus, many courses preserve wildlife habitat and invest and care for those areas far more than they would be if the course was not there.

4. Golf is stupid because of the clothes. OK, it’s hard to argue with this one – when the sport’s primary style is the clothing of choice for retired men everywhere, you might not be on the cutting edge of fashion. But nowadays more athletic gear (and less old man garb) is becoming more popular (and acceptable) on the course – so things are slowly changing for the better.

5. Golf is stupid because most people play even though they’re not any good at it. Guilty as charged. And I should add I’m totally fine with that. Where does it say you have to be great at something in order to love it? And golf is scaleable – the handicap system helps you compete against anyone no matter their skill. And you can even compete against your previous score. There’s so much to appreciate about golf regardless of your level of play.

So with the exception of the clothes we wear, anyone who tells you golf is stupid are they themselves probably a bit, well…stupid. If you don’t fancy golf, that’s cool. But to call it stupid when you don’t fully understand it? Well, let’s just say that leaves more tee-times for the remaining 30+ million folks out there who do.

The Gluttony of Golf

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Did we overdo it with the number of courses? (photo by Gabriel S. Delgado C. / CC BY 2.0)
Is this word overstuffed with golf courses? (photo by
Gabriel S. Delgado C. / CC BY 2.0)

Do you have any idea how many golf courses are in the United States? You can find out easily – just conduct a simple search on our courses and golfers page.

If you only select “USA” as your country and hit search, you will get 725 pages worth of courses with 25 courses per page. Some quick math will tell you that adds up to 18,125 golf courses in the US.

Do you have any idea how big that number is? Well, let me help put it in perspective for you: How long will you drive down the main drag of any city or town in America before you pass a McDonlad’s? Not very long, right? Well, there are only 12,804 Mickey D’s in the United States.

Does that help you wrap your head around 18 thousand f’ing golf courses? Let me ask you something else: What the hell is this country doing with 18,000 golf courses? There’s only 50 states for goodness sake! That’s nearly 400 courses per state! I can understand a state the size of Texas having hundreds of courses (actually has 940), but why does my pea-sized home state of Connecticut have hundreds (199 to be exact)?

The way I see it, having this many golf courses poses a couple problems: First, there’s the negative environmental impact. In the U.S. (which is home to more than half the world’s courses), golf is played on nearly 2 million acres of land. That land requires more than 2 billion* gallons of water daily to be kept green. In addition, vast tracts of natural habitats are being displaced.

In Wyoming in 2004, for example, bald eagles in the region were driven from their nests to accommodate a new golf course just outside of Jackson Hole – an area already established as a golfing mecca.

But giving the middle finger to wildlife is only part of golf’s environmental problem – every year, millions of pounds of pesticides are used on courses in the US. And there’s runoff of those chemicals into our rivers and streams – water that will eventually contaminate wildlife, plant life, and human life.

If this wasn’t bad enough – let’s look at the second problem I have with America’s overabundance of golf courses: It simply isn’t good for the game. The reality is (to quote a post I wrote over a year ago) “every year since 2006, more golf courses have closed in the U.S. than have opened.”

We over-did-it. A decade ago, new courses were springing up everywhere. Now, they’re closing – And struggling private courses are opening their doors to the public in an effort to stay afloat.

Cost-saving measures include squeezing in as many tee-times as possible and trimming staff (course rangers in particular). Both of the aforementioned steps have contributed to slow play (a turn-off for both new and established golfers alike).

Look, I love golf (if you’ve read this blog before, I think it’s obvious) – but don’t you think 18,000 courses is spreading this game a little thin? In this post-Tiger era (and let’s face it, it’s definitley post-Tiger), interest in the game has waned somewhat – we can no longer afford to maintain (successfully anyway) all these tracts of land.

Perhaps a small downsize would be good for golf. Lord knows if our gluttony continues…”Be not among winebibbers; among riotous eaters of flesh: For the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty: and drowsiness shall clothe a man with rags.” – Proverbs 23:20-21.

*Corrected Figure (this post originally stated 4 billion gallons of water per day).

Are There Too Many Golf Courses?

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Can there ever be too many golf courses? (photo by Saskia2586 / CC BY 3.0)
Can there ever be too many golf courses? (photo by Saskia2586 / CC BY 3.0)

Now that The Masters is over I have to tell you, I am all golfed out. Honestly, I may have watched about a half-hour, in total, of the tournament. But between all of the coverage on ESPN and various other sports networks and news shows, specifically the Tiger coverage, I feel like I was in the galleries all four days! I don’t think I can watch another five minutes of a tournament for the rest of the year!

However, that does not curb my desire to get back out onto the many courses which my home state of Connecticut has to offer. But a couple of stories in my local news lately have me wondering…are there too many golf courses?

The obvious answer for one who loves to golf, especially those of us who enjoy playing different courses all the time, is “not a chance.” How can you have too many golf courses? After all, the old saying “variety is the spice of life” indeed equates to your golf life also. Maybe the more appropriate question wouldn’t be to ask if there are too many golf courses, but instead to ask, is a new golf course really necessary? Or, is there a better use for that land?

In my current hometown, a town of about 45,000, we have two nine-hole courses. Recently, the idea to use a piece of undeveloped public land to build another nine-hole course was proposed by a local developer. The Economic Development Committee approved the proposal, but many spoke out at a recent Common Council meeting. In favor of the course were some local business owners hoping the course brings more people into the city. However, many spoke out against the course. Some concerns were tax and rent payments (or lack thereof), privatization of public land, outside investors and the plan meeting environmental standards. However, one major concern asked, what if the course fails? You are left with nothing more than carved up land, which would make later development more challenging, and the city expected to foot the bill. One can see where the concern would be.

My personal opinion? There are already two nine-hole courses in town. Additionally, there are four eighteen-hole courses within ten miles. Is another nine-holer necessary? As for bringing people into the city, how many golfers regularly travel to other towns to play nine-holes, especially when the surrounding towns have eighteen-hole courses? Add to that the fact there are already two nine-hole courses in this town, then how much more business is the course actually going to generate?

This reminds me a bit of a situation from the town in which I used to live – my hometown (population of about 60,000). It offered one eighteen and two nine-hole courses. But when the idea to build a new middle school on the grounds of one of the nine-hole courses was proposed, it was met with some hostility. The course in question was, to put it lightly, a bombed-out disaster of a mortar range which I had the displeasure of playing exactly once and swore to myself to never play again. It was in fact, with no exaggeration, that bad.

But, the course was very popular with the senior crowd. It was flat, wide open and an easy course to walk if you chose. And not too mention, cheap. Due to its low (if any) maintenance costs and the popularity with seniors and first-timers, I’m sure the course made some money for the town. But the question actually was: What’s more important, keeping this crappy course around to satisfy a few people who have other options, or building a new, better, safer school, in a better, safer neighborhood for 1,200 students year-in and year-out?

To me, the answer here seems obvious – kill the course. But I guess there are some of us who believe the future of our children isn’t as important as having to spend an extra six bucks to play a different nine-hole course.

Now don’t get me wrong, being a golfer, I always looking forward to playing a new course and feel a new course is typically a great idea. But, we also have to consider the cost. Be it a risky investment at the cost of the taxpayer, environmental issues or the future of our young students. All of these issues, and then some, have to be addressed before we can truly learn the value of a golf course.

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