Greg D'Andrea

I Shudder at the Thought of Golfing With my Wife

October 17, 2012 | By Greg D'Andrea | 6 Comments

On a recent golf outing, I was paired up with a husband and wife. They were both retired and had settled into a life of golfing together.

They told stories of their recent trip to Hilton Head and Myrtle Beach; their travels to Ireland on a couples golf vacation; and their future plans to play together in Hawaii.

The pair was happy – and I had a content feeling with how they interacted on the course together – there was something very romantic about it all.

But when my mind wandered to the notion of me playing golf with my wife, that peaceful feeling was replaced with apprehension. Why? Now don’t get me wrong, I love my wife – she’s my best friend and the mother of my children. But for some reason, I shuddered at the thought of her hitting the links with me.

This weighed on me the rest of the round – what was my deal? That retired couple seemed completely smitten with each other – sharing a cart, talking golf strategy, enjoying one another’s company. What the hell was my problem?

Fast forward a few weeks to yesterday. I’m in San Francisco at a conference for work and I’m chatting with a colleague who also happens to be a fellow golfer. During our conversation, he mentions he’s about to take a golf trip with the guys.

“There’s just something about a guys golf trip.” I said as he nodded in agreement. He then said something that struck a chord with me: “I can’t play golf with my wife. She’s offered to try taking up the game, but I’m glad she never did. Nothing against my wife, but golf to me is my time with my buddies.”

He had hit the nail on the head. That was my problem – golf is my “hanging with the guys” time. It always has been – in fact, playing a round with my wife would be like time wasted – time I could have instead spent with my friends.

You see, I spend most of my free time with my wife and son. Once a month I carve out a few hours to hit the links and by God it’s going to be quality time with my pals. But of course now that I’m writing this, I feel like a complete jerk.

Perhaps I’m missing the point to all this?

Now my wife is not one for sports – especially partaking in them. She did have an interest in playing tennis once, but after couple times on the court she was over it. Meanwhile, she has never expressed any interest in golfing. And until this very moment, I’ve been completely cool with that. More than cool, in fact – I’ve been downright happy.

But the more I think about that couple, the more I realize that I might be missing out on something. It never occurred to me that I could play golf with my wife and STILL play golf with my friends. In fact, not only would it mean more time out on the links for me, but I’d be spending quality time with my wife to boot!Not only that, but vacations can now include golf. Hmmmm, I’m beginning to realize the benefits of having a spouse that plays golf. Of course the true benefit will be when we retire, after the kids are out on their own and we can travel together on golf trips like that couple.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Step number one is to convince my wife to golf (never thought I’d say that). If I can introduce her to the game slowly, by the time we’re ready to retire we’ll have a future of golf to look forward to.

Of course if she tries golf and doesn’t like it, I’m back to just playing with my pals. But that’s fine too. The point is I’ve realized that I love golf; and I love my wife – why not enjoy the company of both?

Enjoyment the Key for Retaining New Golfers

October 10, 2012 | By Greg D'Andrea | Leave a Comment

000_00103 — Stinky Golfers Pete (L) and Chris enjoying themselves on the course. (Photo by Greg D’Andrea)

It may sound obvious: That in order to turn beginning golfers into lifetime golfers, they should enjoy themselves. But how often does that really happen? Think about it – the very fundamentals of golf can be extremely frustrating – especially to a golf newbie.

Take the golf swing for instance. Have you ever tried teaching someone how to swing a club? You’re at the driving range with someone who has never played – you show them the basics (grip, stance and swing), hand them the club and let them have at it. That can be pretty frustrating to both the golf newbie and to you.

Stinky Golfer Chris summed it up the best when he wrote in a post:

“Handing [my wife] a club was like handing a cell phone to my grandmother. Some things are better left in the hands of others…[Have] you ever see a baby just learning how to walk? It’s walking into things and falling down and you can’t help but to laugh. Picture that baby with a golf club in one hand, completely throwing off it’s balance even further, and a glass of Jack Daniels in the other. It was like that. But less graceful.“

What about golf etiquette? Remember going out to the course with a first timer? “Don’t step there; You can’t put your bag there; It’s not your turn yet; You can’t touch it until the green; Let this other group play through.” It’s (what must seem to them) an endless list of don’ts and can’ts.

And what about slow play? A new golfer will inevitably be slow – they are still learning how to get the ball in the air; still learning the rules; still learning the etiquette; but yet they are constantly being pushed through the course – golf newbie or not, no one forgives slow play.

I haven’t even mentioned the cost factor (equipment, apparel, greens fees) yet! It’s no wonder there are so many people out there that claim: “I tried golf, but it just wasn’t for me.”

But it doesn’t have to be this way. Sure, golf isn’t for everybody, but I believe we can retain more golfers if the introduction to the game wasn’t so abrasive. Perhaps most importantly if you have a friend that wants to try golf, the best gift to give them is a lesson from a pro. Yes, you pay for the lesson – whenever something is free, people tend to appreciate it more.

And don’t stop there – the second most important thing is to make the game enjoyable. This means point out the rules and etiquette of the game but don’t always enforce them. In fact, their entire first season playing should be very informal. And prepare them upfront that as a newbie, it’s OK to pick up and move on sometimes.

Some other ideas: Allow Mulligans (multiple Mulligans if necessary); Tell them 95% of golfers can’t shoot anywhere near par so they should just have fun; Get them hand-me-down clubs; Don’t just talk golf – catch up on things in general – let them see the camaraderie this game offers.

So the next time you have an opportunity to introduce someone to golf, do right by them – make it an enjoyable experience and you might just end up with a golfing buddy for life.

I’m Singing In the Lightning Shelter

October 3, 2012 | By Greg D'Andrea | Leave a Comment

Rain and wet golf course — Rain at The Ranch Golf Club – Massachusetts, USA (*photo by Greg D’Andrea*)

Much like in Springtime, Autumn in New England can be rather wet. Here we are in my favorite month, October. It’s my favorite because of the cooler temps, the fall colors and how great it is to be out on the golf course in those conditions.

But, it tends to rain a bunch.

For example, the average amount of precipitation in Hartford, CT in October is 4.1 inches, which is higher than any other month. In fact, as I pen this post on October 2nd, it’s raining…and it’s supposed to continue raining for the next 5 out of 6 days.

Even Seattle has less rain in October (3.4 inches on average) – their wettest months are when golf is over: November, December and January. Very convenient. New England? Well, convenience isn’t really our strong suit.

But we press on – heading out to the course under threatening skies and hoping to get in at least 9 holes before it comes down. Sometimes it begins to rain and we pretend not to notice. We nonchalantly put the cart’s windshield up and pull down the rain hood over our clubs and casually stroll to our balls.

“Should I get the umbrella out? Nah, it’s too much trouble to take it off my bag, remove the sleeve cover and carry it around. By the time I do that, this will probably blow over. Plus, I have a hat on – so I’m good.”

It’s funny, we all have these humongous umbrellas on our bags but rarely use them out on the golf course (though they seem to come in handy while walking the dog on a rainy afternoon)!

You finish the hole but the rain hasn’t let up. In fact, it’s coming down even harder now. So you sit in the cart for a little while, figuring the heavy stuff will pass soon enough. Oh, and as an aside, you will inevitably have a great game going to boot. Caddyshack was spot-on, wasn’t it?

By now, it’s raining so hard you’re getting wet inside the cart. So you find the nearest lightning shelter and crowd in there to wait it out. But it’s not letting up. After about 10 minutes, everyone sort of looks at each other. “Should we call it a day?” No one wants to be the one to throw in the towel.

And there’s no reason to. I mean, you’ve blocked out the time to play – I say wait it out. Who knows, maybe it will let up enough to get back out there. In the meantime, enjoy watching the rain – after all, you’re still on the golf course, hanging out with your pals – light up a cigar and enjoy the wait.

We’ve always said here at GolfStinks that golf should be more about your enjoyment than about your score – and sometimes you don’t have to be actually playing golf to enjoy just being out on the course.

But remember, if it starts to lightening, get the f@#k out of there ASAP!

Golf Requires A Good Eye…To Find Your Ball

September 26, 2012 | By Greg D'Andrea | Leave a Comment

Stinky Golfer Tom getting ready to use those eagle eyes... — Stinky Golfer Tom getting ready to use those eagle eyes… (photo by Greg D’Andrea)

Do you have that person in your foursome who knows where everyone else’s ball went except for their own?

In our group, that’s Stinky Golfer Tom. You see, Tom is a well-meaning guy who anxiously awaits a chance to follow your ball’s flight path and excitedly point in the direction of its landing spot…all while exclaiming; “I saw it land! It’s just past that small, crooked tree!”

Tom will voluntarily do this for everyone in the foursome. And then, it will be his turn to hit. And he will undoubtably lose his ball. I’m ashamed to admit that I don’t really pay attention like he does…and I can say the same for the rest of our foursome.

We’re all standing around quietly joking about something when Tom will say; “Did you guys see where I landed?” Sheepishly, we all say something like “Sorry man, we weren’t really watching.”

Poor Tom. He could probably lower his handicap a few notches if we all paid better attention to his shots. And that’s the interesting thing with golf, isn’t it? Sometimes a helping hand (or in this case, a helping set of eyes) can mean the difference between a par or a triple bogie.

A few years back, Stinky Golfer Pete, in an amazing stroke of genius, invented the PAF rule. This rule basically levels the playing field for average golfers – it removes any advantage pro tour players have due to the conditions they play in.

This includes things like a do-over in a trap where the sand is rock-hard (on the pro tour, it would be nice and fluffy). Or more appropriately for this post, a lost ball that would have inevitably been found by someone in the gallery of a tour stop.

For example, let’s say you hit your drive right of the fairway and into some tall grass. On the pro tour, a marshal or spectator would probably have located your ball almost immediately (perhaps even sooner if it hit them)!

But on a random weekend at the local muni, you will have no such luck. That ball will most likely be lost and your score will pay the price. Unless, of course, you have someone in your foursome like Stinky Golfer Tom.

So let me make a promise right here and now: I will, from now on, always try to pay attention when someone hits – because a ball found directly translates to a happier round.

Want to Play Better Golf? Play Bogey Golf.

September 19, 2012 | By Greg D'Andrea | 3 Comments

Add 1 stroke to every hole and you'll be playing better golf before you know it! — Add 1 stroke to every hole and you’ll be playing better golf before you know it! (*Photo by Greg D’Andrea*)

Let me begin with my disclaimer: I am by no means qualified to be giving swing advice. But in this post, I won’t be giving any. Instead, I am going to offer you a stroke-saver without even talking about the mechanics of your swing!

I’ve played golf for more than 20 years now and can tell you with confidence that golf is 50% mental. The other 50% (the mechanics of the swing), I’ll leave to the pros. But putting yourself in a better frame of mind out on the course? I think I can speak to that based on my experiences.

Now, I’ve read books that really get into the metal aspect of golf. And for all intents and purposes, these books seem to really help. But these books also tend to provoke a good amount of deep thought. Today, I’m not going to dig that deep – I am going to keep it simple (for your sake and mine).

How simple? Well, let me get to the point: You could shave strokes off your game by simply becoming more comfortable. Being comfortable leads to less stiffness and a more relaxed swing. And a more relaxed swing translates into a more successful swing.

But how do you get more comfortable? Well, there’s one easy trick I’ve learned over the years – Have you ever heard of bogey golf? Typically, we speak of bogey golf in terms of one’s ability; “Joe? Oh he’s a bogey golfer.” We tend to think of that as a negative too; “Poor Joe gets a bogey on every hole.”

But what if your goal was to play bogey golf, or even double bogey golf?

Of course this means you will have to come to grips with the fact that you stink (for more on that, see HERE). But think about the reality of what I’m proposing…If you play bogey golf, you’d shoot 90 for 18 holes. Now I bet you’re thinking you’d love to play bogey golf all the time, right?

So how does playing bogey golf make you more comfortable? On the first hole, let’s say it’s a par 4 – well, your goal should be to make 5. Knock one down off the tee? No worries, you can still get on the green in regulation – because regulation is now getting on in 3 since it’s a par 5. See where I’m going with this?

Playing a long par 5? Well in bogey golf, it’s a par 6. So on your second shot, there’s no need to hit that fairway wood you’d typically slice into the woods. Instead, play an iron you’re comfortable with (say perhaps the 7). Remember, getting on in regulation means getting on in 4 – so the pressure’s off.

I know this sounds almost like cheating, but it’s not. You are simply putting yourself in a different frame of mind.

You are mentally making the course easier and as a result, you are more relaxed and comfortable. Sure, you’re not going to get a bogey on every hole – you might get a double or triple once in a while. But you also might get a par or birdie once in a while too. The point is to mentally play the course like a par 90 instead of a par 72 so you’re not chasing impossibilities.

I mentioned in a previous post that I average 93 for 18 holes. I can actually say I owe much of that to playing bogey golf. I strive for 90 every time out and my average is pretty close. I even beat 90 once in a while – shot an 89 last week!

Now, if you typically shoot well over 100 every time out, play double bogey golf. After all, scoring a double bogey for 18 holes is a 108.

And this trick isn’t just for the average hack either. Do you typically shoot 80 or 85? Well, just play bogey golf on specific holes, say the #1, 2 and 3 handicaps.

Look, you’re not going to become a scratch golfer playing bogey golf (if you play close to scratch, this post isn’t for you anyway), but that’s not the point. The point is to enjoy the game more and this little trick can help you do just that.

Simplify the course in your mind, relax and have fun!