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The 10 Worst Things You Can Do On A Golf Course

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Even if you're backed-up 3 foursomes deep, hitting into the group ahead is never a good idea... (photo by Tom Treloar)
Even if you’re backed-up 3 foursomes deep, hitting into the group ahead is never a good idea in golf (photo by Tom Treloar)

Let me state for the record that I myself have been guilty of all of the following golf transgressions at one time or another. And while there’s no point in dwelling on any of these offenses, there is something to be said about creating this list – so others (especially new golfers) can have a reference…a beginner’s guide to golf etiquette, if you will.

By no means a complete list, here are 10 things you should really refrain from doing on the golf course…

  1. Stepping in someone’s line. Perhaps among the first etiquette rules you learn in golf, stepping in someone’s line might not seem like a big a deal, but it’s less about the imprint your foot makes on the green and more about the respect you have for the others playing with you – doing it just shows you don’t care. Look, I (more than most) agree golf is just a game, but you still need to play the game right.
  2. Hitting into the group ahead of you. I’ve almost started fights because of hitting into the group in front of me – it is among the ultimate disrespects on the course. Even if the group ahead is holding up everyone on the course, no one wants to take a golf ball off the back of the head. Courses should employ rangers to deal with slow groups and if no rangers are around, you should ask (very politely) to play-through. Which brings me to…
  3. Not letting faster groups play through. A golfer/foursome needs to be aware of their speed of play pretty much at all times. Look behind you once-in-a-while – if the group back there is waiting with their hands on their hips and looking in your direction, you’re probably moving too slowly. It happens. Maybe just one member of your foursome is slowing you down – the point is you need to recognize this, swallow your pride and politely suggest they play through.
  4. Not replacing your divots. Again, this may seem somewhat harmless, but it’s not to the course. Take an extra 10 seconds to put your divot back or use the bottle of sand/seed mix on the side of your cart (if applicable) to fill in the hole. Trust me, the greenskeeper will thank you and the course will look nicer in the long run.
  5. Gouging the green. You miss your 2-footer for par (or quadruple bogey) and whack the ball away in anger – except you swing too low and take a chunk out of the green next to the hole. Worse, you purposely slam your putter into the green after a botched putt. Pathetically, I’ve done this a couple times over the years and it’s the epitome of being a poor sport…And nobody likes a poor sport. Like many on this list, it’s all about respecting the course and your fellow golfers.
  6. Giving swing advice. Nowadays, even if someone asks me, I typically refrain from offering any advice (unless they are a complete newbie). But unprovoked swing advice is the ultimate annoyance out on the course. If you find yourself getting ready to offer-up advice to someone struggling, please think twice. Unless you’re a certified PGA pro, you probably shouldn’t even go there. Don’t be “that guy.”
  7. Playing from the wrong tee box. Trust me – there is nothing worse than watching Shanks, Hook, Skull and Slice flub all their drives off the championship tees…especially if you’re playing behind them and it’s the first hole. Man that’s a sinking feeling, isn’t it? You know your skill level and you should know which tee-box you belong on. My rule of thumb: If you can’t consistently break 90, you should always be on the forward (white) tees. Only if the course is empty can you attempt playing farther back. But beware – not only is the course longer, but more hazards come into play from back there. I’ve played the tips before and at my skill-level (18 handicap), the closer I can get the better…
  8. Throwing your clubs. Among the more embarrassing acts on this list, club throwing is an art form for some golfers. Sure, maybe it aids in letting off a little steam, but really it’s just plain unnecessary. Chronic club-throwers are no fun to play with as many of them are also guilty of doing most of the other things on this list too. Besides being dangerous, it also makes you look like a fool.
  9. Getting drunk. Beyond the obvious embarrassment of being the boisterous drunk group that other golfers can hear from all over the course, there’s real danger involved in getting wasted on the links. After all, you are hitting a hard projectile well over 100 MPH. Plus, there are motorized vehicles involved. Drunkenness is probably among the top reasons why around 1,000 Americans are injured in golf cart-related accidents…PER MONTH. Look, I understand golf and beer go together, but I implore you – please imbibe in moderation (or at least wait to do most of your drinking in the 19th-hole).
  10. Taking your game too seriously. You might not have expected this one to be here, but it’s possibly among the most important things on this list. Look, everyone is disappointed after a bad shot or a poor round – but you can’t let it get to you. In the end, the fact that you got out and played at all should always overshadow the number on your scorecard. Throwing clubs, cussing at yourself, gouging greens, raising your blood pressure – all for what? Golf is a game, you should have fun playing it.

POLL: Are Golfers Unfriendly?

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Are unfriendly people commonplace in golf? (photo by Greg D’Andrea)

If you think about it, golfer interaction on the course can be a bit curt…and it all starts pretty much as soon as you take your clubs out of the trunk.

It might not always be exactly like this, but…

The first whiff of unfriendliness is usually in the parking lot as you’re walking to the pro-shop. You’ll see a fellow golfer walking back to his car – typically muttering to himself about a triple bogie he took on 16. You’ll pass like ships in the night – nary a glance, let alone a word spoken towards each other. Ah, but that’s just a taste of what’s to come…

The unpleasantness continues once at the register to pay your greens fees. The Pro-Shop Punks behind the counter will inevitably mumble something about your tee-time (in some cases scold you if it’s less than 10 minutes prior to said time), take your hard-earned money without even a smile and promptly send you out to the starter.

Now on your way to the starter, even more uncomfortableness can ensue. First, you might be worried the starter will continue to lambaste you for being only 7 minutes early for your tee-time. But more importantly, you’re worried if they’ll pair you up with someone.

That’s right, I said it and you know it’s true. We golfers never want to get paired up with anyone – especially that single who gets added to your twosome or threesome. It just kills the camaraderie between you. Plus, the last thing we want is to spend the next 4 (or 5) hours embarrassing ourselves in front of total strangers. Yes, getting paired up with strangers adds a whole new meaning to first-tee jitters.

But this is nothing compared to the cast of characters you have to deal with once out on the course: The swing advice giver; the rulebook thumper; the backswing talker; the guy who can’t enjoy golf unless he’s drinking a beer on every hole. And let’s not forget about that arrogant SOB who claims he always shoots in the 70s but takes a double or triple on every hole.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying golf isn’t worth putting up with all of this stuff. I’ve been putting up with it for more than 25 years and I still love this game.

And I’m also not saying every pro-shop employee is a punk, or every starter is to be feared, nor every playing partner an ass. But there sure does seem to be a lot of jerks out there. Maybe it’s just a byproduct of the game itself or maybe golf just attracts less-than-friendly folks in general. Heck, maybe I’m among them!

And that brings me to today’s poll. Do you think the golfing community has a higher percentage of rude folks than in general life? Take the poll and feel free to elaborate in the comments…

In General, Golfers Are An Unfriendly Bunch

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10 Annoying Things Average Golfers Do

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Recreational golfers don’t always understand the etiquette-side of the game. Sure, most know not to pull the cart up onto the green or talk while someone is swinging, but what about those unspoken etiquette rules of golf? Here we examine 10 of them.

Stinky Golfer Greg in 2014; Trying to "keep it real" out on the course.
Stinky Golfer Greg in 2014; Trying to “keep it real” out on the course. (Photo by Sonny Vega)

I’ve been golfing for a quarter of a century now and in that time, I have played many-a-round with the average golfer – heck, I’m one myself. Now don’t get me wrong, for the most part, we weekend hacks are a good group of folks. But as with any group, there are little annoying idiosyncrasies common amongst its members. Below are ten such behaviors…

1. Bragging about how good they are.
“I normally break 80 at this course.” Yeah, and I normally return home to a harem of supermodels every night. It never fails – as soon as someone tells me how great a golfer they are, they end up shooting the worst round of their life – how is that possible? It’s particularly embarrassing when they tell you how great they “typically” play whilst in the midst of a wretched round. “You say you shot 78 here last week? Wow, today’s 102 must be so uncharacteristic of you.” So save yourself the embarrassment – please don’t be that guy.

2. Dressing like they’re on the tour.
I know exactly the type of person I’m dealing with the moment I walk up to the first tee at my local muni and the guy I’m paired up with looks like he’s on tour.  Long pants in July – really? Shirt tucked in with a white belt? Come on!  Whatever happened to keeping it real? As mentioned in #1, this is the guy that’s about to have the “worst round of his life.”

3. Cheating.
Look, I’m not saying you have to play exactly by the rules. By all means bend them if you want – or even outright break them! Take that mulligan; give yourself a preferred lie – it doesn’t matter as long as everyone your playing with knows the particular rules of your group. But please don’t let me catch you dropping a ball and then pretending you found your drive – it’s embarrassing for me and you. Remember: No one likes a cheater.

4. Playing from the wrong tees.
Perhaps the first thing a new golfer should learn is which tee-box they belong on. Being behind a group that duffs all their drives off the championship tees is perhaps the single most annoying thing on this list. It’s especially worse if they’re all dressed like they’re on tour (see #2). Here’s the deal: If you can’t break 90, always play from the forward tees. For everyone else, use the slope rating and get your asses on the correct tee box.

5. Not yelling fore.
Perhaps the second thing new golfers should learn is to yell fore. Not yelling fore is not only poor golf etiquette, but its downright negligent. If you’ve ever been hit (or even come within a few feet of being hit) by an errant golf shot, you know how scary it can be. A simple forewarning (where the name “fore” comes from) is all that’s needed. If you think your ball is going anywhere near someone, please do not hesitate – yell fore at the top of your lungs.

6. Stealing/playing someone else’s ball.
Few things are more annoying than watching someone take or play your golf ball from a couple hundred yards away. If you stumble across a ball in the middle of the fairway, it probably belongs to somebody else, so please don’t pick it up and put it in your bag. Likewise, please don’t hit it before checking that it’s really yours. Balls have numbers on them for a reason – make it a point to know which ball your playing so you can avoid any confusion out on the course!

7. Spending too much time searching for lost balls.
Searching for lost balls is one of the main reasons golf has a slow play problem. I like to use my “two-minute-warning” rule – you get two minutes to look for your ball and then it’s time to drop one and move on. Now I realize the USGA rulebook allows for five minutes, but that entire book was written for tournament play. Recreational golf is a different story and needs separate rules. And don’t start on how expensive balls are – the price of your golf balls should be directly correlated to how often you lose them. For example, I typically play refurbished or recycled balls – name brand balls that have been cleaned up and repacked for half the price. My handicap: 18. You can’t say I don’t know how to keep it real.

8. Unnecessarily long pre-shot routines.
Really? Four practice swings and an additional half-minute of waggle time is necessary before you even address the ball? This goes for on the greens as well – do you really need to line-up your putt from every possible angle? Not only can these excessive pre-shot routines be annoying for your playing partners, but they also contribute to slow play. I’m not saying have no routine (in fact, one practice swing and a few seconds of waggle have been proven to calm the nerves), but just don’t overdo it.

9. Constantly making excuses for poor play.
“Oh, I didn’t keep my head down on that shot.” Or, “I slept wrong and it’s affecting my drives.” How about the old…”That last triple bogey really got into my head.” We always feel the need to explain our poor play, don’t we? Whatever happened to just plain stinking? Actually, an entire book has been written about how to use different excuses for playing poor golf. Look, there’s no reason to be embarrassed –  most people aren’t that good at this game – so there’s no need to make excessive excuses. If you hit a bad shot, it’s probably because you stink…just like everybody else.

10. Giving swing advice.
This is another biggie – that person who is constantly telling you what you’re doing wrong, even though they themselves are playing just as wretchedly. People love to tell you what the problem is, but rarely is their advice welcomed (let alone correct). The general rule of thumb is unless your a certified PGA pro, you shouldn’t be offering anyone swing advice. Even if someone asks me, I typically won’t give it (only if they’re really desperate for help – and then I always preface any advice with a warning that I, like them, also stink). No one likes a know-it-all – especially when that know-it-all is probably wrong.

Is Golf Etiquette More Important Than The Rules?

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Etiquette on the golf course is sorely needed... (photo by Greg D'Andrea)
Proper etiquette on the golf course is sorely needed… (photo by Greg D’Andrea)

We’ve all heard how we as golfers tolerate poor play, but not slow play.  More so, we don’t do well with people who are downright deliberate.  You know that group who just seems to act like they are the only people on the course?  It’s absolute murder playing behind this group.  It’s not often that I manage to stumble across a group like this, but this past weekend…I don’t know what I did to upset the golf gods, but whatever I did, it was serious.

One of my boys and I are home alone and he asks if we can go play golf.  “Absolutely!” I reply.  So we head to the course for a quick nine holes.  But boy were we in for a surprise.  The drive to the course was the quickest thing we would experience.  It was this day that I ran into the worst group of golfers I have ever had the displeasure of playing behind.  I’m not kidding when I say, it was at every hole that something was going on completely and totally against the unwritten rules of golf etiquette.  Here’s a quick few highlights, or lowlights if you will:

#1.  In hindsight, I could have saved myself the trouble right here.  One of the group (a foursome) politely asked if I wanted to go ahead of them.  But we weren’t quite ready yet.  Plus, my kid is not exactly a great golfer and I thought we would be the ones holding them up.  And I only saw two of their tee shots, both decent.  So I thanked them, but declined their offer.  Keep in mind now, I am playing at a nine hole executive course, we’re all in carts, and hole #1 is a short par-3.  Almost 20 minutes later, we teed off.  You see where this is going.

#2.  Did I mention that there is no group in front of them?  OK…we finished hole #1 and three of them had yet to tee off on #2.  And even worse is, while we were still putting on #1, we had to duck as the soon to be familiar “FORE!!” was shouted from their tee-box.  So what the hell were the other three doing up there the whole time?  So when they were done, it takes them just as long to get moving because of how they parked their carts.  The cart-path leading to #2 is a mini cul-de-sac.  But rather than turn around so you can do the old “drop-and-drive.,” they pull in forward against the curb like they’re in the parking lot at the grocery store!  So watching these four bumbling idiots put the cart in reverse and try to get out provided a bit of comic relief at least.

#3.  Once again, we finish the hole and make our way to the next tee only to find that…again…they had just finished teeing off.  But that’s not the worst of it.  No…the worst was when they were off the green and standing on the next tee box as I made my approach.  I put the ball to the left side of the green.  An easy chip and I’m dancin’.  But when I get to the green, my ball is nowhere to be found.  Now I didn’t see it happen, but I’m absolutely positive that one of these schmucks picked up my ball.  So I ask them if they’ve seen a Titleist 2.  “No, sorry.  Haven’t seen it.”  So I take a drop and chip on.  After we putt out, I turn around and look back, and behold…what do I see not three feet from where I chipped?  Yup…you guessed it.  My ball left behind as the Four Fore’s make their way down the fairway…or, into the neighboring one I should say.

#’s 4-7.  This same type of nonsense pretty much continues throughout holes 4 through 7.  All the usual crap going on by someone who’s never been taught the unwritten rules.  Their cart is never in the right place.  They don’t have the right club, so they have to run all the way back to their cart…and it’s cart-path only, so that’s not helping.  They drive past one of the balls, so one of them has to get out of the cart to run back 50 yards to hit.  They’re adding up their scores while still sitting by the green.  Harassing each other when they’re teeing off.  Just awful.

#8.  As I sit in my cart, waiting for these people again, I watch as the last of the group tees off.  One of the group, a female, sits in the passenger side of the forward cart while two guys are in the back cart.  For no good reason, the driver of the back cart hits the gas and drills the rear of the forward cart!  Are you kidding me?  I hear the girl laughing as she ask “What are you doing?!”  The guy in the rear cart who hit the gas says “I was just trying to let off the brake!”  Why?!  Your buddy is still teeing off!  You’re not going anywhere yet, and even if you were…there’s a friggin’ cart directly in front of you!!  By now, the foursome behind us has caught up.  So I quickly take the time to explain who I’m playing behind so they don’t think it’s us holding up the process.

#9.  Finally.  Once again, we teed off, putted out and drove to the 9th, only to find that not one of them has even hit yet!!  What on earth could they possibly have been doing all of this time!  They finally hit after we arrive, and again, the foursome behind us catches up and they now get to witness the shenanigans first-hand.  However, there is a silver-lining to this one.  After losing his first ball in the trees and duck-hooking the next, my boy holes one out from about 60 yards!  A great way to finish an awfully rough round!

The point here is obvious I think.  I don’t care that all four of them were poor players.  Very few of us are pros.  But if you’re going to play the game, have some respect for the other players on the course.  That’s what golf etiquette is all about – respect for the players on the course and respect for your playing partners.  In my opinion, when it comes to golf, the rules of etiquette are more important than the rules of the game.  Unless we’re in some type of competition, I could care less if you kick the ball a little to give yourself a better shot.  I don’t care if you don’t count the miss on your nonchalant tap-in.  And it doesn’t matter to me if you don’t take a stroke on your questionable drop.  But when you’re just simply wasting my time…that’s a problem.

As I have said in the past, I’m not out there to sprint through my round.  I take my time and enjoy myself.  If you’re in a hurry, you’re playing the wrong sport.  But, I know if I’m moving too slowly.  I pay attention to what’s going on around me.  This is something that needs to be taught to the younger generation.  Teach them the “rules” before teaching them the rules.  Because a twosome playing nine holes on an executive course in a cart should NEVER take three hours.

Swing ’til you’re happy!

The USGA Rule Book: Etiquette

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How well do you know golf rules?
How well do you know golf rules?

Let me go out on a limb and state that most weekend golfers probably try to follow the USGA rules. Sure, we might not walk back to the tee to re-hit a ball that’s gone OB (or play a provisional). And we sometimes take mulligans and gimmies, but for the most part, we try to play the game right.

But do we really know the rules? I’m sure many of you have thumbed-through the USGA rule book, but have you read it cover to cover? Probably not. So in this continuing series, I’m going to write about stuff you find in the rule book – perhaps about things you’ve never even realized.

For example, did you know there is a section in the rule book about etiquette? It’s purpose is to explain how the game “should” be played. In fact, there’s a subsection entitled “The Spirit of the Game” that explains since there are no umpires or referees, it’s up to individual players to take on the responsibility of playing the game correctly.

Under the etiquette section, there are subsections on safety; distractions; and how to act on the green. There is also a good amount of space devoted to keeping the course in good condition – including in the bunkers. I mention bunkers because I always assumed you had to use a rake. But according to the rule book, you just need to “smooth over all holes and footprints.” Only if a rake is “within reasonable proximity” should it be used. Granted, I’ll probably still always use a rake, but it’s interesting to know if you’re in a rush, you can technically smooth the sand out with your foot (and not feel guilty about it).

One common sore spot in golf is slow play. Players (especially weekend hacks like me) are always feeling pressure to keep up the pace – either from the group behind me or from the ranger. I’m constantly striving to catch that elusive 4-hour round. In fact, I’ve written about how a comfortable pace is probably more like 5 hours.

But golf courses tell you it should be 4 hours – why? They make it sound like that’s what it’s supposed to be. But the interesting thing is the rule book doesn’t put a time limit on it! In fact, no where in the rules of golf does it say a round has to take 4 hours (or anywhere close to 4 hours). It simply says, “it is a group’s responsibility to keep up with the group in front.” Further, it defines not keeping up when the group ahead has one full hole between you. So if you’re putting-out on the 5th and the group in front is putting-out on the 6th, you’re still good!

But the rules do suggest some things I rarely employ. For example, how often do you allow the group behind you to play through? Do you do it if you’re looking for a lost ball? According to the rules, not only should you allow the group to play through, you should allow them to play through before you even begin your search! Yep, if you think you might use all of your allotted 5 minutes to search for a ball (and the group is on the tee behind you), you should allow them to play through immediately, not after you’ve been searching for a few minutes.

So while we tend to think of etiquette as the unspoken rules in golf, the USGA obviously has a lot to say about it. In fact, it’s the first section of their rule book! The definition of golf terms, which we’ll discuss in a separate post, is Section 2. Golf is a complicated game – but it’s still meant to be enjoyed. Know your etiquette!

Related Posts: The USGA Rule Book: Definitions

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