GolfStinks

A Golf Blog for the Rest of Us!

Golf Life

Keep up on the trends and news surrounding the golf lifestyle.

A New Year’s Golf Resolution

| By | Leave a Comment

What are your New Year’s golf resolutions?

Do you know what I hate? New Year’s resolutions. Aren’t they the worst? Honestly, what’s the point?! How many of you have actually made a resolution that you’ve stuck with? Actually, how many of you even make New Year’s resolutions?

I gave up on resolutions long ago. I have come to the realization that I’m not going to join a gym, I’m not going to make a serious effort to lose weight and I’m not going to try to be “nicer” to people. As a matter of fact, the only resolution I have stuck with is to not make any more resolutions. It seems to be working out!

However, this year I’ve decided to make a special exception. This year, I’m going to make a resolution regarding my golf game. Am I going to work on my handicap? No. I don’t even know what my handicap is, nor do I care. Am I going to practice more? Heck no! I’ll practice a bit, but no more than usual. But what I am going to do is resolve to play more. That’s it! Seems pretty attainable, right?

See, that’s the key to a New Year’s resolution – make it attainable. I’m not going to practice more because, well, I don’t want to! And, quite frankly, I could care less about my handicap. I play to play. My score is my score. My handicap (or anyone else’s for that matter) is meaningless to me. So that’s out the window. But I sure do want to play more than I did last year! So there you go. Instant resolution!

Actually, I didn’t play much last year and that was kind of a disappointment. I would really like to make the time to play more often. Even if it’s just nine holes. Hey, half a round of golf is better than no golf! So I’m going to buck my normal trend and actually make a New Year’s resolution. Simple, attainable and something I want to do. I resolve to play more golf in 2011! How about you?

Swing ’til you’re happy!

Are You Playing Winter Rules Or Simply Cheating?

| By | 1 Comment

If you’re playing golf in this weather, you have to ask yourself: “Why?” (Photo via Pixabay)

It’s Sunday night and I just finished the second round of shoveling during what is currently the largest snowstorm of the winter so far.

Well, that’s not entirely true. I actually just watched my kids handle the second round of shoveling. But I handled the first round. And I’ll also be handling the third. Further, I’m sure I’ll handle all of the remaining shoveling from here on out.

But, while I was out during round 1, in order to attempt to make the process a little less mundane, I had to try to work something sports-related into the process. So of course, golf is the way to go. A snowball perched on top of a small mound does the trick. I gotta tell you…I hit some memorable shots out there today.

It was when I began to freeze my ass off and noticed I was accomplishing nothing when I realized people actually do this! By “this” I don’t mean shovel. I mean golf…In the snow! As if the sport isn’t challenging enough, some choose to do it in wintry conditions! But why? Why would someone subject themselves to these torturous conditions? Because they’re cheaters, that’s why!

Now why would I say something like that? Well it’s simple really. Ever hear the term “winter rules” or “preferred lies?” Of course you have. But is it just me, or do both terms sound a bit, oh…I don’t know…made up? Well guess what, they are! Neither of these terms actually exist anywhere in any of the rules of golf. So when you see that sign outside of your local course stating “Winter Rules In Effect Today,” it’s nothing more than a license to cheat. It means only to kick, move or place your ball just about anywhere you would like on the course!

“Winter rules” are just a local rule. But I hesitate to call it a “rule” since there really is no clear definition. Yeah, I could state some of the “guidelines,” but what good would that really do? If there are no actual rules and a feeble attempt at putting down some guidelines, then there’s no other way to describe it other than permission to cheat.

So now that I’ve established that, only one question remains – If the question of whether or not “winter rules”are or are not in effect, what the hell are you doing on the course to begin with?

5 Signs You Take Golf Too Seriously

| By | 1 Comment

rest-413103_1920
How serious do you take your golf game?

Sometimes it seems to me that many golfers are more concerned with the etiquette and/or actions of other golfers than they are with just golfing themselves. Am I imagining this? I don’t think so.

It seems it never fails. We’ll be out on the course, and some yahoo we get paired up with begins droning on about how someone in the group ahead of us is pissing him off because he’s doing something “wrong.” It’s after about three or four holes of this that I want to wrap my nine-iron around this guy’s neck.

I wonder how many golfers are like this. How many golfers take this game so serious that they actually get visibly angered by the play of other golfers. I understand if someone is just deliberately slow. But to get that angry about it? Come on now.

Some people complain about the most ridiculous things on the course. Sometimes these complaints may even have nothing to do with, or have any effect on, the round they are playing. So I got to thinking about some of the most ridiculous complaints I’ve heard from other golfers…

1. You need absolute silence, even when you’re not hitting a shot. Look, one of the main reasons I play golf is for the camaraderie. I want to have conversation. I want to make jokes. I want to have a good time out there. But you have a guy who is taking his game so serious that you’d think he was on the back nine on Sunday within two strokes of the lead! Dude, lighten up. If you need silence at all times and can’t be social with the people you’re paired up with, then wait for the chance to play by yourself. As a matter of fact, with that attitude, I can understand why you showed up alone to begin with!

2. You take offense to folks betting. Hey pal, mind your business. Why is my sports betting any of your concern to begin with? What does my $2 Nassau have to do with your round. Now, I understand if we’re talking about the bet during your swing. And I understand if we’re holding up the round because we’re trying to figure out who owes who what money. But if that’s not the case, and we’re just betting because we want to bet…then how is this a problem for you?

3. You’re worried about another golfer’s appearance. Again, how does this have any affect on you or your game? Why do you care if the guy in the group ahead of us is not wearing a collared shirt? Did you shank that last drive because you were distracted by that guy’s cut-off jean shorts? I don’t care if the guy is in his pajamas! He’s playing golf. We’re at a golf course. Seems OK to me! So what if he’s wearing a pair of Chuck Taylors rather than Foot-Joy’s! As a matter of fact, the more ridiculous someone looks, the more entertaining it is for me and my buddies!

4. You don’t understand the difference between slow play and poor play. If the group in front of you has a guy who takes his time getting to his ball, and when he finally gets there he takes a little while to decide which club to use…Then he has to take eight or nine practice swings, address the ball, step away, take a couple more swings, etc. Sure, then go ahead and complain. But if the person just isn’t a good golfer, but he’s trying, then shut your pie hole. None of us are born golfers. It takes practice. You know, at one time, you sucked also. And it’s even worse when the complaint is about a couple of senior citizens who don’t quite move as quickly as they once did. Hey buddy…you’ll be lucky to reach that age someday and still be able to come out here and play. If you do, do you want people complaining about you? Didn’t think so.

5. You call someone out for a gimme or for using your toe iron. It’s not a competition pal and I don’t take it all that serious. We’re not playing against each other. If we were, then go ahead and say something to me. But if I give my ball a little nudge out from behind a rock, it’s really not your concern. I didn’t change the numbers on your scorecard. I didn’t move your ball. I didn’t cause you to lose a bet, did I? Of course not…because you’re offended by my wager to begin with!

There are many more, but I think I’ve made my point by now. All I’m trying to say really is, don’t be “that guy.” Just enjoy the game for what it is. Relax. Have fun. Don’t be in such a hurry and don’t worry about what everyone else is doing. Just play your game and have a good time. If you were that great at this sport, then trust me…you wouldn’t be paired up with me and my golfing buddies in the first place.

Swing ’til you’re happy!

Sorry, You’re Banned From the Back Tees

| By | 2 Comments

The might be better from the back tees, but your golf game might suffer from back there (photo by Greg D'Andrea)
The view might be better from the back tees, but your golf game will suffer more from there (photo by Greg D’Andrea)

The view always seems better from the back tees, doesn’t it? I’ve played at some fantastic locations over the years and it never fails – the scenery just seems to “pop” more from back there.

I’ve photographed most of the courses I’ve played. I’m not much of a photographer, but I’ve taken a few winners in my day and I’m usually standing on the back tees when all my best photos are captured. I’ll even try and snap a few shots from the middle tees, but I always end up walking back for a better view.

The fact is, when you stand at the tips of a course, you’re seeing what the course architect intended you to see – how the hole is “really” supposed to look. Leave that championship tee box and the view, the hole…the entire feeling just loses something.

And what of the challenge? A golfing buddy once told me: “You have to play from the tips because if you don’t, you’re not really playing the golf course.” Is this true? It sounds reasonable – I don’t think many architects design a course from the greens back. Typically, they design it from the tips forward – positioning the middle and forward tees somewhat after the fact.

This all seems logical to me. Screw it! I’m playing the back tees from now on! I’ll take-in all the best views and test my metal on the true course layout! Boy, this is gonna be great! That is, of course, until I realize none of my tee shots are finding the fairway because; A) they’re either not long enough to make it over the caliche from back there or; B) I couldn’t successfully play a fade or draw around a corner to get it to the fairway.

You see, the reality is I have no business playing from back there, and neither do many of you. Yet I see it all too often. A couple of clowns who barely know how to hold a club are teeing it up from the tips. The result? A long afternoon on the course. Look, unless you know the course well, most average hacks should be teeing-off from the middle tees. For one, you won’t get frustrated because you shot 10 strokes over your average. Second, you won’t be holding up everyone on the course because of your struggles.

Heck, the USGA even came up with a rating system to help you decide which tee box you should play from. It’s called the Slope Rating. Want to learn more? Read my post from last year called “What the Crap is a Slope Rating?” This is something our pal Tom over at the golfnoise blog should have done before he and his buddies let the way they were dressed get in the way of which tee-box they played from.

So, should average golfers never get to experience the course the way it was intended to be experienced? Not necessarily. Last week I wrote about the joys of playing golf when very few people were out on the course. I mentioned that if no one is behind you, it’s OK to slow down and take in more of the scenery.

Next time there’s plenty of room between you the group behind you, this is a perfect time to try playing from the tips. If one group starts to catch up, let them play through. The less stress you put on yourself, the better you’ll play. Of course, don’t say I didn’t warn you when you shoot 10 strokes over your average from back there.

What’s More Frightening Than My Golf Game?

| By | 1 Comment

Up until now, the scariest thing for me about this great sport of golf has been my own game. I have seen fellow golfers cringe at the site of me in a trap. Some have stared on in horror as I line up a four-footer. Others have even released blood-curdling screams at the site of my drives! Well.., on second thought, that could have been laughter. But either way…the point is my golf game is scary!

As scary as it may be though, it doesn’t quite qualify as that Halloween type scary. But what in golf does? A Mickelson meltdown? A Sergio blowup? John Daly’s pants? If those don’t do it for ya…how about a creepy, ghostly figure watching from the woods as you putt-out on 18?Sound ridiculous? Well, some golfers at the City Park golf courses in New Orleans would argue otherwise. Here, on the 18th hole of the East Course, that’s exactly what many golfers have reportedly witnessed. How’s that for a gallery?For some people however, fear lies in the unknown. So what about a supposed ghost that no one ever sees but causes mischief? A golf course poltergiest if you will. We’ll have to travel to England for this one. The Church Stretton Golf Course in Shropshire, UK reportedly has a ghost inhabiting the thirteenth hole. Locals here talk of a ghost who will steal your tee shots right from the middle of the fairway! Supposedly, you can see your drive land, but it’s a different story when you arrive at that spot as the ball is nowhere to be found. I’d like to see a ruling on that situation! Would it be considered an act of God? If it is a ghost…is it a hazard? If the ghost was murdered in its earthly life…then is it a man-made hazard and therefore you get a free drop?

Maybe watchers in the woods and ball thiefing spectres aren’t enough for you. In that case, how about the reported sightings of the ghost of a woman murdered on the course she haunts? In 1936 a woman was murdered on the seventh fairway of the beautiful Victoria Golf Club in Victoria, BC, Canada. Reportedly, her presence can be spotted on that very fairway!

OK, but these are just reports. There’s no proof or evidence of any type. Ah, but what if there was? The photograph above is one of two taken at the Aetna Springs Golf Course in Pope Valley, CA – arguably the oldest course west of the Mississippi. Supposedly, the pictures were taken on the course in 1963. Several shots were taken, but in only two, strange images showed up on film that were not visible at the time of the shots. As the story goes, the images of eight monks have been seen crossing a fairway on this course. Some witnesses have reportedly even been able to make out the agonized expressions on the monks faces! Now that’s one for the Ghost Hunters!

There you have it. I didn’t think I could do it, but in the spirit of Halloween, I found something out on the golf course scarier than my game. And I even found a picture to prove it. But not only did I find that, I have now also stumbled across a great new excuse for losing my ball – it was snatched up by a ghost! Let’s see if I can get anyone to go along with that one!

Happy Halloween!

Questions / Advertise

info@golfstinks.com

Disclaimers

See here

Privacy Policy

See here