Sometimes it seems to me that many golfers are more concerned with the etiquette and/or actions of other golfers than they are with just golfing themselves. Am I imagining this? I don’t think so.
It seems it never fails. We’ll be out on the course, and some yahoo we get paired up with begins droning on about how someone in the group ahead of us is pissing him off because he’s doing something “wrong.” It’s after about three or four holes of this that I want to wrap my nine-iron around this guy’s neck.
I wonder how many golfers are like this. How many golfers take this game so serious that they actually get visibly angered by the play of other golfers. I understand if someone is just deliberately slow. But to get that angry about it? Come on now.
Some people complain about the most ridiculous things on the course. Sometimes these complaints may even have nothing to do with, or have any effect on, the round they are playing. So I got to thinking about some of the most ridiculous complaints I’ve heard from other golfers…
1. You need absolute silence, even when you’re not hitting a shot. Look, one of the main reasons I play golf is for the camaraderie. I want to have conversation. I want to make jokes. I want to have a good time out there. But you have a guy who is taking his game so serious that you’d think he was on the back nine on Sunday within two strokes of the lead! Dude, lighten up. If you need silence at all times and can’t be social with the people you’re paired up with, then wait for the chance to play by yourself. As a matter of fact, with that attitude, I can understand why you showed up alone to begin with!
2. You take offense to folks betting. Hey pal, mind your business. Why is my sports betting any of your concern to begin with? What does my $2 Nassau have to do with your round. Now, I understand if we’re talking about the bet during your swing. And I understand if we’re holding up the round because we’re trying to figure out who owes who what money. But if that’s not the case, and we’re just betting because we want to bet…then how is this a problem for you?
3. You’re worried about another golfer’s appearance. Again, how does this have any affect on you or your game? Why do you care if the guy in the group ahead of us is not wearing a collared shirt? Did you shank that last drive because you were distracted by that guy’s cut-off jean shorts? I don’t care if the guy is in his pajamas! He’s playing golf. We’re at a golf course. Seems OK to me! So what if he’s wearing a pair of Chuck Taylors rather than Foot-Joy’s! As a matter of fact, the more ridiculous someone looks, the more entertaining it is for me and my buddies!
4. You don’t understand the difference between slow play and poor play. If the group in front of you has a guy who takes his time getting to his ball, and when he finally gets there he takes a little while to decide which club to use…Then he has to take eight or nine practice swings, address the ball, step away, take a couple more swings, etc. Sure, then go ahead and complain. But if the person just isn’t a good golfer, but he’s trying, then shut your pie hole. None of us are born golfers. It takes practice. You know, at one time, you sucked also. And it’s even worse when the complaint is about a couple of senior citizens who don’t quite move as quickly as they once did. Hey buddy…you’ll be lucky to reach that age someday and still be able to come out here and play. If you do, do you want people complaining about you? Didn’t think so.
5. You call someone out for a gimme or for using your toe iron. It’s not a competition pal and I don’t take it all that serious. We’re not playing against each other. If we were, then go ahead and say something to me. But if I give my ball a little nudge out from behind a rock, it’s really not your concern. I didn’t change the numbers on your scorecard. I didn’t move your ball. I didn’t cause you to lose a bet, did I? Of course not…because you’re offended by my wager to begin with!
There are many more, but I think I’ve made my point by now. All I’m trying to say really is, don’t be “that guy.” Just enjoy the game for what it is. Relax. Have fun. Don’t be in such a hurry and don’t worry about what everyone else is doing. Just play your game and have a good time. If you were that great at this sport, then trust me…you wouldn’t be paired up with me and my golfing buddies in the first place.
Swing ’til you’re happy!
I know this is an old post but nevertheless…Television has a lot to do with slow play. Everyone plays with their egos on their sleeves and feels like they have to defend the stuffiest of principles. Decorum is important but not at the expense of fun – especially in the public sector.