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Counterfeiting Golf Clubs?

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Handcuffs01_2003-06-02I guess with any billion-dollar industry there are some scumbags trying to get a piece of it. I came across some stories straight out of the counterfeit capital of the world…China. For some reason you can buy a Rolex, Louis Vuitton bag, Gucci shoes, a bottle of Viagra and…Callaway Golf Clubs? All for around $250. Amazing, I know! What deals they have…

In March of 09,the Beijing Chaoyang Administration for Industry and Commerce (AIC) and the Chaoyang Public Security Bureau (PSB) jointly conducted raids against an assembly and warehouse facility of the Sunshine Golf Store located at Shangxinpu, Huanggang Village, Chaoyang District, Beijing.The owner and seven other persons were arrested by the PSB after the raid. The raids resulted in the seizure of nearly 10,000 pieces of counterfeit golf equipment, including more than 740 assembled golf clubs, 1,500 club heads, 4,700 golf grips, 2,300 shafts, 280 headcovers and assorted golf towels, golf bags and apparel.

The seized goods were illegal copies of authentic products made by all six (comprised of Acushnet Company, Callaway Golf, Cleveland Golf, Nike Golf, PING and TaylorMade Golf Company) of the Group’s members. It is anticipated that Chinese authorities will pursue criminal prosecutions in this case.*

 

 

You know, this really chaps my ass. Not only do I have to worry about playing poorly, now I have to worry about using bunk clubs. I guess that could be a good out for those players that will blame their grandmother’s cooking from last week as to why they’re playing like crap. “Hey man, I don’t suck, these clubs are counterfeit!” It never ends.

Is that why you were late too…because you’re Faux-lex watch wasn’t working and that Niagra you took last night had you going to the bowl more times than the University of Alabama’s football team? Oh man, the nerve…now where’s my faux iron…?

*http://ir.callawaygolf.com/phoenix.zhtml?c=68083&p=irol-newsArticle&ID=1272414&highlight=

Related Posts: Counterfeiting Golf Clubs (Follow-Up)

Golf Physics 101

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swing_golfer3Now that I have traded in my 3 wood for a snow shovel, I have more time to read about golf than actually play it. Recently, I decided to look into the physics of golf and find out why after 12 years I still stink at it. So, I figured if I learn the science I can learn the art. And man was that a strain on the cabeza. Now I know why Wheel of Fortune used to follow Jeopardy on T.V…so you don’t think you’re a complete idiot and salvage whatever pride you have left.

In my perusing, I came across some interesting stuff that I thought was pretty cool. The following are some physics/scientifical explanations about different facets of the game. And for those smarty-pants’ out there that already know this stuff please feel free to add in the comments.

Ball Flight

After being struck the more backspin put on a golf ball the more loft and airtime it will have.

“As the ball spins, it forces air over the top of it and then behind it. This means that the air above the ball is moving faster than the air below the ball, and because of the pressure difference, the ball has additional force pushing it up, which helps it stay in the air for a longer period of time. This spin also helps golfers produce more accurate shots because with a backspin imparted on the ball, it drops quicker toward the end of the shot. And after hitting the ground, the backspin helps slow the ball more quickly.”*

Also, Dimples play a big role in keeping that ball in the air.

“Dimpled golf balls fly much further than smooth balls. The reason dimpled balls travel further than smooth balls is because the dimples on a golf ball create turbulence in the boundary layer. This actually helps because the dimples then scoop air back towards the rear of the ball. By moving more air to the rear, this helps keep the air pressure behind the ball from dropping. And by doing this, the amount of air pressure pulling backwards on the ball is decreased.” **

So, let’s get this straight, backspin and dimples are a major part of ball flight. Hmmmm…well I’ll tell you where else backspin and dimples are good…pickin’ up the ladies! That’s right, before I packed on the pounds I would flash a dimpled-cheek smile to the girls and bust out a pretty mean backspin on the dancefloor. Well, it wasn’t that easy. A man can dream can’t he? Oh well, back to the shovelin’!

**- http://ffden-2.phys.uaf.edu/211_fall2002.web.dir/josh_fritts/flight.html

The Golfstinks, Man I Suck And Couldn’t Give A Fat Baby’s Ass, Golf Course Challenge (Part 2)

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GreattrainrobberyWARNING: Again…The following challenges are intended for reading entertainment purposes and not to be performed. Unless you are a total moron or just curious like me.

Here we go once more with another thrilling and action packed set of challenges for you to enjoy when your spirits are low and your score is high. Behold, a great chance to lift your head out of that cloud of four letter words that include mothers and other profanities that would put you on the bottom of Santa’s naughty list. (PS: I’m starting with #4 cuz numbers 1-3 are already taken – You can check it out HERE).

Challenge #4: Beer Cart Heist

Yessiree Bob, just like the title says, jack a beer cart from the MOFOBETE for your round. Accomplish this and consider yourself a motherf-in’ hero! Actually, more of a jackass than hero but, the story would surely get funnier through the years. I guess there is more than one way to approach this challenge. I opt for the Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid robbing a train on horse back method. Although, the “hey your back tire is flat” routine always stirs up a good chuckle. DIMT speaking like a pirate while performing this feat adds greater comical value? Well then shiver me timbers you scallywag you.

Justification: hmmm… free beer?

Challenge #5: Golf Terminologizing

Alright, here we have a personal favorite. I like to play with strangers and create words that could be actual golf terms, or at least use made up words and if questioned on the validity of the word reply with either “Wow, these silk boxers feel great!!” or “Ooh, that sure is warm on the leg” and walk away.

Here are some examples:

1.I sliced because my wrists never rondulated.

2.The break in the green seems to extrapify to the left.

3.These terrociuos winds could shorten Daly’s drive by fifty yards.

These are some plain examples but you get the point. Hey, where’s the challenge if I give you the good ones. Use your brain for once and stop reading this crap!

Justification: Pure S n’ G.

Challenge #6 Prison Rules Golf

This requires making one in the foursome (obviously not you) your personal servant, or as those residing at Sing Sing prefer to call this act: Making you my bitch. For example, upon completion of a hole you proceed to the cart and declare to your servant: “Yo bitch, you better put that flag in the cup and grabs my ball before I shank you!” DIMT a “bitch” can be traded to another golfer for ten cigarettes?** NOTE: Exchange rate to USD is not readily available nor do I care to find out.

Justification: No real justification.

**We here at golfstinks.com do not promote using tobacco products as currency. We loves us some cold hard cash! So donations would be splendid…

World Golf Tour: Online Golf Gaming to the Max

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World Golf Tour is an online golf game that simulates some of the best courses in the world. The graphics are awesome and the controls are fairly easy for a PC-based game (nuttin’ but mouse – nice n’ easy, just how I like it).

I had the pleasure to take on Bethpage Black and open a virtual can of whoop ass on myself. The “feel” of play, especially with the short game, takes some practice to master (just like the real thing) but it’s well worth the time spent playing.

What I really like about WGT is the community-based enviroment. You and your buddies can play nine, eighteen or even enter a tourney, all without leaving the comforts of your desk. If you’re a golf fanatic you’re gonna love this (though you’re boss will probably think otherwise).

This game is something every golfer should experience! Check it out HERE and tell’em Golfstinks sent you.

Tall Tales From The Links; A Hacker’s Gripes

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8742707669_6f6b1a14eb_oFor me, golf is a game that involves coordination, concentration, relaxation and inebriation. I do not keep a handicap simply because I don’t have the extra time to practice and improve it.

If I have a good round, hit some great golf shots and birdie one or two holes, I’ll be the first to tell all my golf buddies and even those that could care less. What I don’t understand is why do people feel it necessary to tell fairytales that would rival Hans Christian Andersen.

So…What is it with the piles of horse hooey about incredible and falsified golf feats that must be told? Is it a psychological disorder? Come on, you know that 230 yard drive that turned into a 320 yard monster somewhere between teeing off and hitting the nineteenth hole? For some, the story will stick and take on a snowball effect and actually have others telling it like they were there. And for some, the jury will call the bluff (which yields a greater story) and make the defendant a certified BS’er to his buddies.

Just because the term “lie” is commonly used in golf doesn’t mean you should do it. I think almost every golfer has played a round with someone like this. The best is when a stranger joins your group, you offer to keep score and they end up being “that guy.” At first, you take the verbal diarrhea they are unloading into consideration and think; “Huh, maybe.” Then the signs start to become more visible. The extra shot to get out of the rough that you saw because they thought you weren’t looking. The two chip shots to get on the green because the first one was fat. The three putt. And finally “Put me down for a five…” Oh come on!

Pondering what just happened while heading in for a refreshment, you spot this friggin’ liar entering his info into the GHIN computer. Is this really happening? This mf’er has the balls and mentality to convince him/herself they actually shot that round. You know what? Check that person’s pockets when they leave, I bet they ripped the restaurant off for condiments.

I feel better now…until the next gripe: Hit’em hard and yell fore!

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