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Four Strokes and seven yards to go…

February 12, 2010 | By Pete Girotto | Leave a Comment

President Ford on the golf course
President Ford on the golf course

As we get close to President’s Day, I began to wonder how many presidents were golfers and how would they rank amongst each other.

So, with the intentions of embarking on an arduous journey of research and collecting data, I went online and with the click of a few buttons found the following list thanks to Golf Digest!

Without further ado, the ranking of golfing presidents:

1. John F. Kennedy

2. Dwight D. Eisenhower

3. Gerald R. Ford

4. Franklin D. Roosevelt

5. George H. W. Bush

6. George W. Bush

7. Bill Clinton

8. Barack Obama

9. Ronald Reagan

10. Warren G. Harding

11. William Howard Taft

12. Woodrow Wilson

13. Richard M. Nixon

14. Lyndon B. Johnson

15. Calvin Coolidge

Who would of thought that with such a short term, unfortunately, JFK would be leading the pack? Supposedly he had a handicap somewhere between 7-10! Ike picked-up the game at 37 and played over 800 rounds in his career. His handicap hovered somewhere in the 14-17 range.

Ford was a passionate golfer who consistently shot in the 80 ‘s. He was also known for his errant shots that would hit spectators. After a round at the Bob Hope Classic he jokingly said: “I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose.”

FDR was quite an accomplished golfer until stricken with polio. However, one of his greatest contributions to golf was the construction of 250 municipal courses that made the game accessible to hundreds of thousands.

A definite must-read for those interested in golfing presidents should check out: “First Off the Tee: Presidential Hackers, Duffers, and Cheaters from Taft to Bush” written by Don Van Atta Jr. Van Atta, a New York Times reporter, humorously approaches the subject and reveals some interesting things such as Bill Clinton ‘s “Billigans.” Van Atta shot a round with the Ex-prez after his term, discovering how, through the use of “Billigans,” he was able to break 80. Go figure, of all the presidents that would cheat…

Filed Under: Golf Life Tagged With: barack obama, bill clinton, Don Van Atta Jr., eisenhower, First Off The Tee, george bush, gerald ford, golf digest, golfing presidents, jfk, nixon, ronald regan

Do Pro Golfers Trash Talk?

February 5, 2010 | By Pete Girotto | 1 Comment

Muhammad Ali - the original trash talker (CC BY-SA 3.0 NL)
Muhammad Ali – the original trash talker (CC BY-SA 3.0 NL)

In the United States, professional athletes and sports fans (for the most part) have come to embrace and develop the art of talking trash. When we look at professional sports being played and watched, there is a mental and physical side.

The expression “you’re in his/her head,” for those that don’t know, means your trash talking has thrown your opponent out of their element or off their game. For example, professional sports have produced some rather effective trash talkers like Chad Ocho Cinco with his verbal and electronic (usually via twitter) bantering and the originator – Muhammad Ali…nuff said. These athletes would use the mental side as leverage by frustrating the opponent resulting in a loss of focus.

Now, as much as golf is a mental game requiring serious concentration and focus, wouldn’t you think that on Sunday one of the two in the final pairing would throw a dig to the other golfer or something? I mean dude, you are in contention to win some serious cash. The hell with it, let whoever you’re paired with know their mother is a pickle smuggler. You see, the USGA has guidelines on etiquette, not necessarily rules, and last time I checked there aren’t any penalties for “bending” guidelines. Supposedly, Steve Williams (Tiger’s caddie) tells a story about Phil Mickelson when he was paired with Tiger at the U.S. Open that goes something like this:

The pair were dueling for the lead in the third round. Tiger waved to a grandstand packed with 5,000 people that bordered the 17th fairway. The crowd responded with applause and cheers. A hush fell back over the crowd and a fan yelled out “Phil!” No response from Mickelson. Again the fan yelled out “Phil!” Again no response. The fan changed tack. “Hey, Mr. Mickelson!” When Mickelson finally turned and waved, the fan yelled out “Nice tits!” The crowd erupted in laughter; Mickelson went double bogey, then bogey and his tournament was over.

Not for nothing, but some of the outfits these golfers wear just scream “make fun of me” too. Ian Poulter, Camilo Villegas and John Daly are all guilty of this. Holy crap! Just think of how exciting golf would be to watch if, let’s say Boo Weekely, was to really start insulting John Daly. This would be priceless! There would definitely be a good chance of them “dropping the gloves.” Don’t get me wrong, I do not support violence but, if you’re playing golf for a living professionally on T.V., it makes for good entertainment.

Filed Under: The Pro Tours Tagged With: Boo Weekely, Camilo Villegas, Chad Ocho Cinco, Ian Poulter, John Daly, Muhammad Ali, phil mickelson, Steve Williams, trash talking

Golf, You & Friggin’ Murphy’s Law

January 30, 2010 | By Pete Girotto | 2 Comments

Who is this Murphy guy? Try to find out the origin of this “law.” It seems like it’s been covered up by the government or some secret organization. No one really knows how it became an adage, it just did. The most common belief ties into some highly classified government project testing rockets back in the late 40’s and 50’s. Well, whatever, whoever or wherever this came from, I’ll tell you what, it doesn’t affect any other sport as much as golf.

The following are some examples of how Murphy’s Law is truly embedded in golf.
1. All balls from the same sleeve have a very tight bond with each other and will follow one another into the woods.
2. Waiting for the group ahead of you on the green to clear because “you can reach” is also a silent invitation for all those around to watch as your approach shot becomes shots…because you can reach.
3. Speaking of approaches, a divot only gets replaced properly after a great approach shot.
4. The ball you find just off the fairway that is right where you just smashed a monster drive ends up not being yours.
5. Your golf clubs have their own weather system. When it’s hot up by the driver…yep, it’s cold down by the wedges. Hey, it’s a system that has to balance itself.
6. When you finally make the green on 9; that 40 foot putt can be made blindfolded and with the sand trap rake.
7. Four letter words, except for golf, will be utilized quite excessively once the glove has been put on.
8. Only when you are shooting your best round ever will the air horn blow to warn of a storm.
9. Amnesia is quite common with the others in your foursome when counting their strokes.
10. Those that are not as good or lack any skill in golf will feel it’s their duty to give swing advice.
What can you do? We still go out there and play regardless. Hit’em straight!

Filed Under: Reviews Tagged With: book review, golf book, wedges

The Laws of Golf Ball Flight

January 24, 2010 | By Pete Girotto | 2 Comments

PSM_V78_D189_Dynamics_of_the_golf_ball_3

Ok, so we have five laws here that, according to instructors and good golfers, are the base for diagnosing swing problems…I’ll be the judge of that.

The Laws

#1. The speed of the clubhead at impact greatly affects the distance the golf ball will travel. A faster club head speed will cause the ball to travel further; a slower club head speed will lead to less distance.

Whoa, whoa whoa…malarkey! I’ve seen someone, Tom (co-founder of Golfstinks), smash a drive off of an elevated tee and the ball had this ridiculous sinking ability it would have made Brandon Webb* proud!

#2. The degree to which the ball is struck in relation to the club’s “sweet spot” affects both the distance and direction of the ball. The closer to the sweet spot the ball is struck, the further and straighter the ball will travel.

Sweet spot?!?! Where the hell is that? I mean, I’ve got a sweet spot for…wait…Do you mean the “center of persussion”? Why didn’t you say so! Now I get it. Geez, I could have been on the tour by now if I knew that!

#3. The direction the clubface is pointed at impact greatly affects the direction of the flight of the ball. The more the toe or the heel of the club is in front at impact, the more side spin will be imparted to the ball which will influence the curvature of the ball’s flight.

Look here chief…if I can see where the clubface is pointing at impact then call me Col. Steve Austin because I would also be able to see through the clubhouse walls and into the ladies locker…ok, moving on!

#4. The initial direction the ball flies after impact is greatly influenced by the path of the clubhead. The faster the clubhead speed at impact, the greater this influence will be.

Infuence? Influence…hmmm…I get it! The more I’m under the influence the better a player I will be! That is genius, now I know why the Scottish and Irish don’t export the good stuff!

#5. The steepness of the club’s path at impact affects both distance and curvature. A steeper angle of attack will cause the ball to go higher and less far because of the degree of backspin generated. A ball struck above its center of gravity will go lower than a ball struck below its center of gravity.

Yeah…and if you take pi and divide it by the colpanarity sum of the pythagorean theory, divide it by last year’s tax returns, add it to your last scorecard score, subtract what your last scorecard’s score really was and, voila! I think that just gave me a headache.

*Brandon Webb is a MLB pitcher for the Arizona Diamondbacks who has a friggin awesome sinker.

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: backspin, club head speed, clubface, clubhead, clubhead speed, golf ball, golf laws, sweet spot

Hooking On The Golf Course (And I Don’t Mean My Ball)…

January 15, 2010 | By Pete Girotto | Leave a Comment

320px-Wiki-prostituteThis is great! All this extra time to go and dig up great golf stories in the off-season. You know, now that the whole Tiger debacle has finally quieted down a bit, I figured I would revisit the world’s oldest profession and it’s run-in’s with golf.

Check this out, in October of ’09, 36-year-old Melanie Kozik was arrested for “willing to engage in prostitution and maintaining a brothel.” Here’s the kicker, she offered (wink, wink) “Golf Lessons” on Craigslist as the ploy. Kozik, who had previously admitted to prostitution, stated she made $1,500 a week disguising golf lessons as prostitution. That’s it…are you f*$%#ing kidding me?!?! $1,500 a week to sell your ass? Come on Mel, if you applied your entrepreneurial skills to a legit biz you could have made that legally.
http://www.mysuncoast.com/Global/story.asp?S=11266342

Moving on to Prairie Village, Kansas, two women got arrested for running a prostitution ring that involved using a church’s parking lot and a golf course. Really girls? A church’s parking lot? The story goes on to say that the girls would use the golf course as a place to dance for- and recruit new clients. I guess the “19th” hole has a whole new meaning. Oh! ba-dum!
http://sportsbybrooks.com/do-golf-course-prostitutes-wear-stiletto-spikes-23455

Back in ’02 at Hidden Valley Golf Club (please save the salad dressing jokes) two of the course managers and a tournament organizer were sentenced to house arrest for having some prostitutes do their thing at a golf tournament. The tournament cost about 2 fazools ($200 for those that never saw Donnie Brasco) with about 160 players. Funny part was that a bunch of players didn’t even bother to bring their clubs!

Officials reported that over a dozen prostitutes and strippers, including one that was 16, set up tents and…wait a minute…they set up tents? Dude, that’s friggin’ hysterical! “Hey guys, how about you come inside and sink your putz…?” or even better, they had signs advertising their services. Like what? “Come on in to get your shaft fitted?”
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,137720,00.html

Until the next time…may your balls always find the hole.

Filed Under: Golf Life Tagged With: golf balls, golf club, hooker, prostitute, shaft, tiger

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