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Children’s Miracle Network…A Hole In One!

May 15, 2010 | By Pete Girotto | Leave a Comment

banner_top_logoEvery so often an opportunity to help make a difference in a child’s life arises. In this case it involved two of my favorite things; golf and eating! A few days ago, Costco Wholesale hosted their annual golf tournament benefitting the Children’s Miracle Network. In case you are not familiar with CMN, here’s a brief history:

Children’s Miracle Network was founded with two simple goals in mind:

1. Help as many children as possible by raising funds for children’s hospitals.

2. Keep funds in the community in which they were raised to help local children.

The organization was founded by Marie Osmond and her family, John Schneider, Mick Shannon and Joe Lake. Children’s Miracle Network’s most recognizable symbol and greatest fundraising tool is its red and yellow Miracle Balloon icon. As of 2008, Children’s Miracle Network has raised more than $3.4 billion—most of which is donated a dollar or two at a time.

Although the weather was 50 degrees and windy with some rain showers, it definitely did not break any of our spirits…maybe the alcohol helped a little. As a matter of fact, every foursome but one showed up to participate…now that means a lot! It gave me a great feeling inside to see this dedication and everyone coming together to help out.

As for the course, Whitney Farms in Monroe, CT and with those weather conditions, we could have played at Pebble Beach and it wouldn’t have mattered. I’ll tell you one thing though, Whitney Farms drains incredibly well. Never was there a swampy part of the fairway or even the rough right off the fairway. Even the greens had a good speed to them.

All in all, this wasn’t about where we played or who played with us. This was about what we played for! Yeah the weather sucked and the hot dog on the turn could have been better but; how can you honestly complain when you are out there playing?

Filed Under: Golf Life Tagged With: charity, children's miracle network, joe lake, marie osmond, mick shannon, Pebble Beach, whitney farms

Requirements For Being A Stinky Golfer

May 8, 2010 | By Pete Girotto | 2 Comments

IMG_5096
Stinky Golfer Pete (photo by Greg D’Andrea)

We here at Golfstinks.com love the game, so don’t let the name fool you. At some point, I’m pretty sure every golfer out there has voiced their opinion that “golf stinks” – whether it be half-heartedly or for the moment or on the whole. You see, this is the common factor that links the majority of golfers out there; we’re all alike in our not-so-great play. Do we quit and hang up the sticks? Hell no! We go out and buy more expensive ones.

So, about this stinking at golf thing. Take a look at these next ten questions:
1. Do you play or have you ever played some form of golf? (Driving ranges count, mini or putt-putt golf does not, and don’t tell me you are working on your putting. When the hell did a green ever have a clown’s mouth or windmill)?
 
2. Are you good?
 
3. Do you stink?
 
4. Do you own golf clubs or at least one golf club (not used for protection)?
 
5. Do you enjoy the game for the most part?
 
6. Do you create curse words on the course that makes holy water boil?
 
7. Do you use a golf ball to play (any kind, range balls included)?
 
8. Can you use a term from golfstinks.com’s Average Joe Golf Glossary to describe any part of your last round?
 
9. Can you recall that last great shot or memory you had on the course that’ll keep you coming back?
 
10. Are you going to golf again?
I’ll tell you what, if you answer yes to any of these requirements, you my friend, are part of a community – our community – of over 25 million members strong. Now get out there and play…(and of course, yell fore)!

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: average golfer, AVERAGE JOE, stinky golfer

Golf Clubbin’

April 30, 2010 | By Pete Girotto | Leave a Comment

What if these guys were teeing off ahead of you? (photo by NYTVF / CC BY-ND 2.0)
What if these guys were teeing off ahead of you? (photo by NYTVF / CC BY-ND 2.0)

So I figured I would help boost some TV ratings and present a little something different to today’s reality TV show viewers. This feat will be accomplished by combining the Golf Channel’s “Big Break” and let’s say…oh I don’t know…MTV’s “Jersey Shore”. Ladies and Gent’s I present to you “Golf Clubbin’!”

A reality show that embraces polar opposites and forces them to co-exist. We can use the existing cast of JS and put them in various golf situations such as working in an upscale, pretentious golf club or caddying for a pro. Perhaps even challenging them to a round where they must make the cut or be subjected to some sort of embarrassment.

I can see it now… some dialogue from the first episode:
Scene opens with Mike “The Situation” pounding on the bathroom door very early in the a.m.

Mike: Paulie! Could you f@#$in’ hurry up in there. We’ve been waiting for forty-five friggin’ minutes. We’re gonna be late on our first friggin’ day! There’s gonna be a situation if you don’t hurry up!

Paulie: Chill bro, I’m doin’ my hair! They gave us a 1200 watt hair dryer…I need at least 1600.

Vinnie: What the f@#$ is wrong with you Paulie? Where the hell is Ronnie?

Camera cuts to the girls room:

Snookie: Ok, so let me get this straight. I hold the shaft with both hands and rest my head next to the ball- give it a swing and that’s called a stroke?

J Woww: I dunno… I think that’s what the book says…

Sammy: Jeez, all this talk about shafts, balls, and head is killing me…where’s Ronnie?

Aw man, this could be great. I know, I know…idiotic… but nonetheless entertaining.

Filed Under: Golf Life Tagged With: big break, golf channel, jersey shore, MTV

Why Stinking At Golf Is OK

April 17, 2010 | By Pete Girotto | 1 Comment

800px-Golf_Bunker_shot_1
Terrible at golf? No need to fret… (photo by Fcb981 / CC BY-SA 3.0)

First of all, it’s OK because everyone is doing it…well, at least a good 95% of the 26+ million golfers in the U.S. are. What about the other five percent? 2% say they can break 80 consistently, 1% actually do it, 0.9% have very low handicaps and 0.1% are professional – this includes touring Pro’s and Pro’s at your local track*. With that being said, we rule the vote. Last time I checked this country was a democracy, we should have a say in what’s what when it comes to golf! 95% equals almost 25 million golfers. Come on people! Let our course hacking, ball slicing, OB finding, all-around stinky golf game voices be heard.

Earlier today I read a blog on why golf sucks. The writer mentioned, which is actually pretty funny and almost true, that when he asked golfers how their round went; most answered golf stinks or that they hate this game and walk away frustrated. Almost a good point. What this person is not seeing is the passion those players had for the game. If you don’t care for something you obviously wouldn’t be affected by it.

I’m guessing most of the average golfers out there have some emotional attachment to the game. When we play well, however rare the occasion, we are ecstatic and vice-versa. Also, we are not striving to be on tour either. We enjoy the camaraderie of our foursome and the challenge the course has in store for us. How fun is it if no one in your foursome sucks? There would be a lot less funny stories to be told that’s for sure. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying being a good golfer is bad. All I’m getting at is this game needs its extremes. The good players and the not so good players.

Stinking at golf has provided me with humorous and sometimes unbelievable memories that I take with me when I leave the course and go back to reality. For weeks I would laugh about my ridiculous drive on the second hole that hooked so bad it almost came back like a boomerang. Better yet, the combination and invention of curse words that my buddy muttered for three straight minutes as he looked for his ball in the woods. This stuff is irreplaceable in my book.

Keep playin’, yell FORE!

*not an actual researched stat, more of a guesstimate…

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: #enjoygolf, average golfer, pro golfer, stinky golfer

Record Broken at The Masters..

April 10, 2010 | By Pete Girotto | Leave a Comment

golf
Matteo Manassero (photo by Vinod Divakaran / CC BY 2.0)

No, it does not consist of how many women a golfer has slept with. As a matter of fact, Tiger is not even involved in this.

Check out this tidbit the AP reported: “Italian 16 year-old Matteo Manassero became the youngest player to ever make the cut at the Masters, sinking three long par putts on the back nine Friday to finish at 3-over—right on the cutline. Manassero has now made the cut at both his majors, having tied for 12th at last summer’s British Open. “I always want to stay levelheaded since that’s the education that my parents gave me,” he said. “My parents help me also in this period to stay more level. But I dream for something like the Masters.” So do older golfers, and they don’t have his track record.

Manassero, who last summer became the youngest winner in the 124-year history of the British Amateur, shattered Augusta National’s previous record for youngest player to make the cut. South African Bobby Cole was about a month shy of his 19th birthday when he made it in 1967. Manassero is also the first amateur to play the weekend since 1999.And he’s the lone teenager out of the four in this year’s field to make the cut.”

Now, I’m not knocking Tiger’s return or his warm welcome by the fans. It’s just that I noticed how this feat by Manassero got pushed to the back burner because the prodigal son has returned. You know last time I checked, there weren’t too many 16 year olds making there way around Augusta National for a crack at the green jacket. Know why? BECAUSE IT’S THE FIRST F%@$IN’ TIME…EVER!

Kudos to you, Matteo! From one Paesano to another, in bocca al lupo!

Filed Under: The Pro Tours Tagged With: augusta national, matteo manassero, The Masters, tiger woods

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