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Signs of Golf

March 9, 2015 | By Greg D'Andrea | 1 Comment

Let’s face it, the people who run golf courses don’t trust us.  I’m not saying they’re not justified in their distrust, I’m simply stating a fact. If you want proof, all you have to do is read some of the signs you come across on the course.

I myself have seen countless signs on tee-boxes, by greens and of course, plastered all around the clubhouse and proshop. Below are a few signs that I just had to snap a photo of…

One thing courses do to try and keep golfers from hitting into one another is devise warning systems. I’ve seen super tall flag sticks planted in the middle of a fairway so you can waive back to those on the tee that it’s OK to hit. I’ve seen bells placed in the fairway to ring and I’ve even seen a periscope setup on the tee so golfers can tell when the group ahead is out of range. But the sign below takes the cake…

Golf hole instructions
Portland Golf Course (photo by Greg D’Andrea)

Apparently the urge to relieve yourself is far too great on this tee-box…

Tee Area Not A Pee Area
Topstone Golf Course (photo by Greg D’Andrea)

How about this one – Are golfers drowning themselves after bad approach shots? OK, maybe they just don’t want you fishing out balls from the pond, but who’s taking the cart beyond that point??

Danger golfers!
Tunxis Plantation – White Course (photo by Greg D’Andrea)

I love signs on the first hole because they tell you a lot about the course you’re about the play. Some courses do it right – for example, a 9-hole course close to my home used to have a sign that read “No one is offended by poor play, but everyone is offended by slow play” – I never forgot it, even though the sign is long gone. Other courses, well…see below…

Golf sign
Airways Golf Course (photo by Greg D’Andrea)

But some course managers also have a sense of humor too – check out these two signs:

tomb stone golfer
Pine Valley Golf Course (photo by Greg D’Andrea)

And perhaps my personal favorite…

Golf Hole From Hell
Airways Golf Course (photo by Greg D’Andrea)

If you liked these, check out the entire Pinterest board we’ve dedicated to golf signs:

Follow GolfStinks’s board Signs of Golf on Pinterest.

Filed Under: Golf Life Tagged With: golf cart, golf course, golf signs, signs on the golf course

The Quickest Trip From Tee to Green

November 10, 2014 | By Chris Chirico | Leave a Comment

As always, time and again one of the biggest complaints about the game of golf is the pace of play.  People are always looking for a way to speed the game up…and quite frankly, many players out on the course could certainly use a kick in the pants.  So whenever a new idea or innovation to speed up the game comes along, attention should be paid.  Even if it’s just a publicity stunt.  Enter Plum Quick Motors.

Already the holder of the world record for a 1/4-mile run by a golf cart at 103.65 miles per hour, Plum Quick set out on October 31st to break that record.  And break it they did by recording a 12.24 second run at 118.76 mile per hour.  That’s quick by regular street-car standards.  A golf cart?  Outrageous….obviously, or it wouldn’t be a world record.

So again, maybe if some speedier golf carts hit the links, all of our rounds could be moved through at a quicker pace. OK, OK….so maybe 118 miles per hour isn’t exactly realistic.  But if we dialed it down a notch to say, I don’t know, 40 miles per hour?  Maybe then we could…..wait a minute.  What am I saying?  The accidents this would lead to would only slow the game down further.  Oh well, it sounded like a good idea…

Swing ’til you’re happy!

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: golf cart, Plum Quick Motors, slow play

Why Do I Love Golf? Because I Don’t Care

September 29, 2014 | By Chris Chirico | 3 Comments

thVA2KCXGGI think we all know by now that one of our firm stances here at GolfStinks is the idea that the game of golf is more enjoyable if it’s not taken too seriously.  And from every experience I’ve had, that’s 100% true.  However, I guess you don’t really realize whether or not you are taking the game seriously until you play with someone who truly doesn’t care about anything except getting out on the course.  A couple weekends ago I got to play a round with one of those people.

It started when I arrived to the course.  Now I’m in relatively good physical condition.  I could afford to lose a few pounds and I’m not in tip-top shape, but I’m not about to keel over at the next bite of a hot dog either.  I like to walk the course, mainly to get exercise.  My playing partner?  Not a chance.  He already has a cart paid for before I even arrived at the course.  As a matter of fact, he picked me up at my parking space.  For him, walking the course?  Out of the question.  It’s only during some conversation that I realize how stupid I sound when I try to explain how walking gives me a better “feel” for the course.  Who am I kidding?  The only thing I “feel” is my sore feet.

Even further was the score – this is where we felt exactly the same.  Neither of us really cared what we scored.  Just the idea that we were playing was more important.  However, I can’t remember the last time I took a mulligan.  But we each took one, and you know what?  I didn’t care.  It’s not a competition.  My score doesn’t matter.  I had one of those “Nope” moments and gave myself a do-over.  Big deal.

Playing with him opened my eyes more to why I enjoy this game.  I’m not out there for exercise.  I’m not trying to get a “feel” for anything.  I’m not in a competition.  I’m just there to hang with my buddies and play a game.  It’s how the game should be approached by all of us…as a game.  Now, this doesn’t mean I’m not going to walk the course anymore.  But if someone offers me a ride, I’ll probably take it.

Swing ’til you’re happy!

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: golf cart, mulligan, walking the golf course

What About Caddies?

March 12, 2014 | By Greg D'Andrea | 2 Comments

Template wLOGO
(Photo by Greg D’Andrea)

Back at the start of the winter, I was putting with my 3-year-old son on the practice mat behind our living room couch. I wasn’t giving him serious lessons or anything (not that I’m qualified to do so anyway) – I was just trying to focus him on the basic putting stroke. And I certainly didn’t mention anything about caddies. Yet at one point when it was his turn to hit, he grabbed his toddler-sized putter and said to me: “The club boy brought me another club.”

Club boy? Who’s the club boy? “The boy that gives us our clubs” was his answer. This surprised me since he knows nothing about golf caddies (he’s never even watched the pro tour on TV). And while he was probably just saying silly things that 3-year-olds say,  I wondered if there could be more to this.

Here we have someone at the very beginning of his introduction to the game of golf…yet already he seems to consider that part of this game should include someone that hands you clubs. This leads me to the following question: Are caddies meant to be part of this game?

If the pro tours are any example, the answer is yes. Everyone has a caddie on tour. And the USGA rules allow for a caddie too – and in fact define “caddie” as “one who assists the player.” In addition, caddies have been part of golf for quite a while: One source even says “Mary, Queen of Scots, came up with the term ‘caddie’ in the late 16th century.”

So if it’s true that caddies are meant to be part of golf, then it stands to reason we’re handicapping ourselves when we don’t use one – right? It’s just another reason to site the popular GolfStinks PAF rule.

Of course, we average golfers don’t have access to caddies because most courses realized years ago that it would be cheaper to provide us with motorized golf carts instead. As fun as it is to drink and drive in those golf go-karts, they hardly replace the original. Sure – having a GPS in the cart will tell you how far you have to the pin, but where is the advice on how the putt breaks? Or the club recommendation? And perhaps most importantly, the moral support?

I say golf courses should consider bringing back an option to have a real caddie. I bet there are plenty of teens and retirees that would work for just tips – I’d be willing to pay more per round to have a caddie at my side – even if it was just once in a while.

Am I way off base here? Am I simplifying it too much? Why should the pros have all the fun?

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: caddie, glossary, golf cart, paf rule

Why I Like Walking the Golf Course

December 12, 2012 | By Greg D'Andrea | Leave a Comment

Walking the golf course offers more than just exercise
Walking the golf course offers more than just exercise (photo by Greg D’Andrea)

I’ve been doing allot of walking lately, which was brought on by my car’s transmission deciding to conk-out after 140,000 miles. While we still have my wife’s car in the family, she’s at work during the day (I work from home) so my legs are my primary mode of transportation from 9AM to 5PM, M-F.

So I was walking to the post office on my lunch break yesterday (about a mile) and realized there are details along that route that I had never noticed before – even though I had driven that same route many, many times.

That reminded me about why I like walking the golf course instead of riding. This past season, I rode most of the time. This was a detraction from my normal routine, in which I typically walk the course. But the main reason I kept riding this season was the fact that I wasn’t laboring towards the end of my round – my feet didn’t hurt and I had more energy down the home stretch (16, 17 and 18).

But the interesting thing was despite my lack of fatigue, my scores didn’t really improve. And as I was walking back from the post office, I realized why. When you ride in a golf cart (or “buggy” for my friends in the UK), the time it takes to get to your ball is greatly diminished.

While golf courses like this because you ultimately play faster, it can have an adverse affect on your game. For example, while you’re walking to your ball, you have time to consider your next shot: Which club you will play; where the pin location is; what the wind is doing. Of course, all of these things can be ascertained upon getting out of the cart, but with much more haste – which can lead to a wrong club selection or mis-calculation of the wind.

What’s worse, sometimes your cart-mate will drop you off at your ball so they can go find their own. Now you’re left with a quick decision on which club to grab. Or perhaps you went with them in the cart to play their shot first and then scooted across the fairway for your shot. Mentally, you’ve observed the path to a ball that was not yours and then took an irrelevant path (the cut across the fairway) to your own.

I use the term “irrelevant path” because when you walk the golf course, the path you take to your next shot is usually a direct line between your ball and the flag stick – thus mentally preparing yourself for all aspects of your next stroke. When you ride, that mental aspect has been hindered – either by the quickness it takes to reach your ball or the irrelevant path you take to get there (or both).

But improving my game isn’t the only reason I like to walk: It’s good exercise too. Now I know there are people that will say walking a golf course is not good exercise – in fact, my doctor is one of them. Well, my doctor should read THIS post. In short, a recent study proves that walking the golf course is indeed good exercise (time for a new doctor)!

And there’s one more reason I like to walk the golf course – for that I’ll relay another story from my lunchtime walks in my neighborhood. On the way back from one of my recent walks, I noticed a sign posted a few yards into the woods. It was all about a glacier kettle that was right in front of me through the trees and something that I’d never noticed before.

You see, walking allows you slow down and notice interesting things that you would never see zooming by in a car – and the same is true on the golf course. In addition to improving your game and getting exercise, you have more time on your hands to appreciate nature. After all, the great outdoors is perhaps among the most rewarding aspects of golf.

Filed Under: Health & Environment Tagged With: exercise, game improvement, golf cart, Golf Health, nature, walking the golf course

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