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Golfing With A Liar

January 14, 2015 | By Greg D'Andrea | Leave a Comment

smiling golfer
Is your golf buddy lying about his score? (photo by Greg D’Andrea)

So I was playing 18-holes a couple of months ago – what would end up being my last round of 2014 – and I was paired up with an older gent who was, along with me, hacking his way through the round.

On one par 3, we both plunked our tee-shots into the pond in front of the green and on several other holes, we shared similar lies from the rough. I finished my round with a score in the high 90’s and I assumed he must have been in the same ballpark as I…perhaps slightly better.

So it was much to my surprise (and amusement) when I ran into him outside the clubhouse after our round and he exclaimed (in a dead-serious tone): “Even though I shot 75, I didn’t really like that course.”

BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Oh man, someone less polite would have burst-out laughing right there on the spot. But instead, I nodded my head in agreement, “Yeah it [the course] was nothing special.”

Now, I could have completely mis-read his game, but I would have put money on him not breaking 90. Maybe (and this is a big maybe) I missed him make a birdie or two and he shot 85, but I doubt it. However 75? I think the Viagra is swelling the wrong head, if you know what I mean.

I suppose he could really believe he shot a 75 – in a world where you take per-hole Mulligans and 6-foot gimmie putts, it’s possible to have the round he had and still finish with a 75. But I don’t remember him taking any Mulligans so he probably just flat-out lied about his score. And he’s not alone.

Golfers lie about their scores all the time. Occasionally they’ll say they scored worse than they did to keep their handicap static for tournament play, but for the most part, golfers fable about shooting lower than they actually do – as in the case of my story above.

But why?

Well, this harkens back to that little thing we call pride. People in general take pride in what they do and they don’t like to admit when they aren’t too good at something. Golf is a game that is particularly difficult to be successful at. So many prideful people who play golf tend to conceal the fact that, like most everyone else, they kinda stink at the game.

This sort of behavior is why you have to listen to the guy in the cubicle next to you go on and on about how good a golfer he is…until you finally get out on the course with him and he can’t hit it past the red tees. In your mind, this guy is both annoying and a liar. Whereas if he was forthcoming from the very beginning – that he’s terrible at golf like pretty much everyone else, the two of you might have ended up as good friends.

But unfortunately, golf liars are running rampant out there. And liars breed other liars until everyone verbally breaks 80 yet struggles to actually break 100 out on the course. Folks, this ridiculousness needs to stop!

The reality is golf is hard and only a very small percentage of people are good at it (like your club pro) and even a smaller percentage are really good at it (like pro tour golfers). Everyone else is just mediocre at best.

Look, lying isn’t necessary anyway because your score should always be secondary to the fact that you’re out doing something you love in the first place. So keep it real out there – both to your playing partners and yourself.

Filed Under: Golf Life Tagged With: cheating, handicap, liar, lying

Gamesmanship For Hacks

October 24, 2014 | By Pete Girotto | Leave a Comment

gamesmanshipLets start off by defining gamesmanship. The dictionary says it is 1) the use of methods, especially in a sports contest, that are dubious or seemingly improper but not strictly illegal and 2) the technique or practice of manipulating people or events so as to gain an advantage or outwit one’s opponents or competitors. As you can see it is not cheating, technically, because cheaters never win. Well, they actually do win but are losers in life. At least that’s what I told as a kid growing up.

You see, nobody likes losing or performing poorly and that especially rings true on the course. Now, here’s the catch 22. We want to win and shoot a great round but we don’t have the time or money to practice and get better. As a hack, I tend to make myself believe I’m out there to have fun. Yeah, right. Who wants to be the one with the worst score in a foursome? Better yet, how do I prevent being last? Glad I asked – gamesmanship!

For example, a cheater would yell in the middle of someone’s swing deliberately trying to mess them up. A complete scumbag move and obviously this scumbag deserves to lose. A gamesman’s strategy would be to yell in the middle of a swing because they thought the golfer on the next fairway over was a distraction to the person hitting the ball. An honest mistake, honestly.

Ok, that might be a little harsh and pushing it a bit but you get the point. Gamesmanship is based on the “getting into someones head” theory. This couldn’t be more of a  perfect set up for us hacks. It’s not like we’re going to hit the links every morning to practice. With that in mind we don’t have to necessarily improve our game,  just make sure theirs isn’t quite up to par.

Hey, say what you want but if you think the golfers on tour aren’t gamesmen you might want to take a closer look.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!! Cheaters never win and winners never cheat but they are quite the gamesman.

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: cheater, cheating, gamesmanship, sportsmanship

It’ll Take Balls To Save Golf

September 17, 2014 | By Greg D'Andrea | Leave a Comment

Can these balls save golf?
Can the infamous Polara ball help save golf?

There’s been much ado via the media about the demise of the golf industry – this golf blog included. And while everyone has their opinion on how to fix it (this golf blog once again included), few solutions may be as practical as changing the ball you play.

Following up on Chris’ post from Monday, I’d like to offer my review and brief two cents about the Polara golf ball. Just to be completely transparent, the Polara balls I and the other bloggers here at GolfStinks tested were sent to us gratis after I interviewed the CEO of Polara, David Felker, for this post back in April. In that post, I stated quite honestly that my opinions toward Polara (or any non-sanctioned USGA equipment for that matter) had been rather scathing up until my conversation with Mr. Felker, who provided me a new perspective on this type of equipment.

My new perspective is; If golf is more enjoyable from the fairway (as the tag line in the photo above states) then who cares what equipment you use to hit those fairways? Of course you should never try to deceive your playing partners – especially if you’re playing in a tournament or if money is on the line. But in general, what difference does it make if the average weekend hack is playing with non-USGA conforming equipment? It’s not like the course ranger or USGA police will take away your license to golf. The only difference I can see is that weekend hacks will have a quicker and more enjoyable round.

That all being said, I have since played two 18-hole rounds with Polara golf balls and can offer the following review:

Round #1 (at Woodstock Inn & Resort, Vermont): I didn’t keep score during my first round playing the Polara balls. Perhaps I was still feeling some shame over playing with non-USGA conforming stuff, but my plan was to just see if my drives and fairway shots were straighter. On the first hole, I ripped one right down the middle and thought; “Wow, these balls really do work!” However I quickly learned (after a few poor shots) that the improvement to your game will be more subtle and to truly gauge how much the balls are helping you, keeping score is a must. At any event, when my round was over, I felt the Polara balls made my tee-shots more accurate but I didn’t notice much difference playing from the rest of the course. My guess was I saved 4 or 5 strokes overall.

Round #2: During the second 18-hole round (at Lake of Isles in Connecticut), I made sure I kept score. I played the front nine wretchedly, but still ended up with a 52 – which I didn’t feel was too bad considering how poorly I felt I was swinging the club. On the back, I turned it around and shot a 42 for a total of 94 (which is right around my average). My drives were pretty good on the back and again I attributed some of that to the Polara. To be that consistent with the driver was a bit unusual for me, so I would say the ball helped me save 3 or 4 strokes on the back alone. The ball probably helped me shave a few strokes on the front too, but it was less obvious (drives landing in the rough might have gone OB were it not for the Polara).

Now for context: I will mention my most recent round, where I did not play the Polara ball. Last week at Inn of the Mountain Gods in New Mexico, I went 55-45 for an even 100 playing Nike balls. Again I started off wretched and played better on the back – I felt I played very similar to the last time with the Polara balls, yet the result was six strokes higher. Was this because of the Polara balls? It’s hard to tell just by my scores alone.

Considering the slope: The slope rating at Inn of the Mountain Gods (from the forward men’s tees) is 124, while the slope at Lake of Isles (forward men’s tees) is a much harder 135. This means that even though I felt I played the same at both courses, I not only shot six strokes better with the Polara balls, but I was also playing on a much more difficult course that day (as indicated by Lake of Isles’ higher slope rating). To me, the combination of both my scores and the slope ratings at these courses really paints a telling picture.

Now obviously, this is just a small test sample, but it would appear the Polara ball does help keep you in play (especially off the tee). And if that leads to a quicker (since you’re not always looking for your ball) and more enjoyable round, then perhaps these balls can help golf as a whole. Hacks and new golfers alike should embrace subtle game-improving equipment like this. And to help clear the conscious of golfers everywhere, the USGA needs to amend its rules to include a section just for average players and/or non-tournament play. Steps such as these would help put golf back on track and start turning this industry into something we can once again be proud of.

Filed Under: Reviews, The Economics of Golf Tagged With: cheating, game-improving, golf balls, polara, USGA

My First Experience With The So-Called “Cheater Ball”

September 15, 2014 | By Chris Chirico | 2 Comments

thZKOZDGTKWell, we’ve all read about, heard about and maybe even tried out the so-called “cheater ball,” the Polara golf ball.  Though we here at GolfStinks have already given both the positive as well as the negative effects the use of the ball could possibly have on the sport, we haven’t actually offered up our own experiences with the ball.  Well, this past weekend, I gave the Polara ball a real try for the first time, so I’ll be the first to share my opinion.

Prior to this past Saturday, my only experience with the Polara had been teeing off with one which was given to me on the last hole of a round by my playing partner, who had been using them all day.  I reluctantly agreed to try one out as I still had that “cheater ball” mentality in mind.  But curiosity had certainly gotten the best of me.  I proceeded to mis-hit the tee shot, only for it to somehow still land safely in the rough a couple hundred yards out.  So the question became…did I land safely in the rough rather than out of bounds because of the ball?  Or would I have been safe anyway?  Unfortunately, this is a question that still looms to this day.

So this past weekend, I played eighteen holes at a local course and decided to try the Polara out on half the round – regular balls on the front nine and Polara’s on the back.  Now I understand that by not playing the same holes, I can’t really make a fair comparison as far as the scores go.  But that’s not the comparison I’m really trying to make.  I want to find out if, quite simply, the ball is going to travel straighter as the claim states.  So, for the record, my score was four strokes lower on the back nine with the Polara than on the front with regular balls.  But for the real issue…

On the front nine, I felt like I played my typical game.  A few good shots, more not so good.  After the ninth hole, my score was just about what it normally is.  So I switched over to the Polara’s to start the tenth.  For about the first four or five holes, I didn’t see or feel much difference in my balls flight path, distance or otherwise.  However, by the second half of the back nine, I noticed a few of my shots were traveling pretty straight on clubs I normally tend to struggle with.  But again, for me anyway, this just opens up more questions – mainly, how do I know that if I hit that same shot with a regular ball, the result wouldn’t be the same?  So is it the ball?  Or is it the idea of the ball that’s giving me a more mental edge than a physical one?  And if it is more of a mental edge, then doesn’t that mean the ball is working, just in a different way?

As I said, my score did come down on the back nine, but would that have happened anyway with a regular ball?  I think another couple of rounds may be in order to try to get a more accurate assessment.  And next time I think I’ll try playing the same holes with the two different balls.  But in the meantime, I think I’ll plan on keeping the Polara’s in my bag and I will continue to use them.  Hey, just because they may not be legal on the PGA Tour doesn’t mean I can’t use them on my local muni.

More reviews to follow.

Swing ’til you’re happy!

Filed Under: Reviews Tagged With: cheating, golf ball, polara

If The PGA Rules Allow It, Then It’s Not Cheating

February 1, 2010 | By Chris Chirico | 2 Comments

Phil Mickelson (photo by Corn Farmer / CC BY-ND 2.0)
Phil Mickelson (photo by Corn Farmer / CC BY-ND 2.0)

I don’t know how much more clear it can possibly be. The rules say it’s OK….so who’s to say someone is doing wrong? Phil Mickelson used a club that is perfectly legal and within the rules. Can anyone please explain to me how this is cheating? Besides the obvious “within the rules” argument, I have numerous problems with this whole issue.

Problem #1 – Is it true a club that is over 20 years old provides an advantage over the equipment these guys are using today?! With all of the technology, research and development these club manufacturers put into their products these days, I find it incredibly amusing that a club which is practically an antique provides an advantage! If this is the case, then why the hell am I at my local golf shop checking out brand new sets of clubs, about to drop way too much bank, when the clubs I’ve been using for the past ten years may be better?!

Problem #2 – The fact that almost any club is banned from the tour is ridiculous enough. I mean for starters, these guys are using clubs that are custom fit to their exact specifications. And I don’t mean just length and weight. They are engineered around that particular golfer. These are clubs that neither you or I will ever have the opportunity to own. “But that club provides too much spin….waaaahhh…waaaahhh…..waaaahhh.” Shutup. You have a club head the size of a watermelon. The shaft is made of something currently being used on the International Space Station. You’ve worked with the best coaches, pros and trainers your whole life. But you’re worried that someone else’s club spins the ball more? Again….shutup.

Problem #3 – The focus on Lefty. If I read it correctly, Hunter Mahan, Brad Adamonis and John Daly also used these clubs. Did they cheat? Why is Scott McCarron not calling them out? Do they not matter? Is it OK if they cheat? Or is McCarron only mad that the current best player on the tour is “cheating?” Shutup.

Problem #4 – Scott McCarron. I don’t know the first thing about him, but to quote Joe Pesci from My Cousin Vinny…”I’m tru wit dis guy.” Really, Scott McCarron, who are you to call out Lefty for anything? Especially when what he did is within the rules! How can you call him a cheater? I’ll tell you what…when you win more tournaments in your career than Phil wins in one year…then you can accuse. When you get yourself ranked higher than #92 on the money list (compared to Phil’s #3 for 2009)…then you can accuse. When someone actually does something outside of the rules, thus it actually is cheating…then you can accuse. When you actually earn yourself some face-time with your play and not with your mouth…then you can accuse. Until then, shut up.

I’m willing to admit that if a club (or any piece of equipment) provides an unfair advantage, then a review of the rules must be done. But until then, if the club is allowed, then it’s OK with me and should be OK with everyone else also. If it’s legal, then every player has the opportunity to do the same. Whether they take advantage or not is their choice. It’s like a baseball player using a maple bat. It provides an advantage because it’s a harder wood and will obviously drive the ball farther and faster. It’s kind of a crappy advantage, but it’s within the rules. Therefore, it’s not cheating.

So until the rules change and say it is not allowed, let’s give it a rest.

Filed Under: The Pro Tours Tagged With: Brad Adamonis, cheating, golf club, Hunter Mahan, Joe Pesci, John Daly, lefty, PGA, PGA money leaders, phil mickelson, Scott McCarron

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