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Golfing With A Liar

January 14, 2015 | By Greg D'Andrea | Leave a Comment

smiling golfer
Is your golf buddy lying about his score? (photo by Greg D’Andrea)

So I was playing 18-holes a couple of months ago – what would end up being my last round of 2014 – and I was paired up with an older gent who was, along with me, hacking his way through the round.

On one par 3, we both plunked our tee-shots into the pond in front of the green and on several other holes, we shared similar lies from the rough. I finished my round with a score in the high 90’s and I assumed he must have been in the same ballpark as I…perhaps slightly better.

So it was much to my surprise (and amusement) when I ran into him outside the clubhouse after our round and he exclaimed (in a dead-serious tone): “Even though I shot 75, I didn’t really like that course.”

BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Oh man, someone less polite would have burst-out laughing right there on the spot. But instead, I nodded my head in agreement, “Yeah it [the course] was nothing special.”

Now, I could have completely mis-read his game, but I would have put money on him not breaking 90. Maybe (and this is a big maybe) I missed him make a birdie or two and he shot 85, but I doubt it. However 75? I think the Viagra is swelling the wrong head, if you know what I mean.

I suppose he could really believe he shot a 75 – in a world where you take per-hole Mulligans and 6-foot gimmie putts, it’s possible to have the round he had and still finish with a 75. But I don’t remember him taking any Mulligans so he probably just flat-out lied about his score. And he’s not alone.

Golfers lie about their scores all the time. Occasionally they’ll say they scored worse than they did to keep their handicap static for tournament play, but for the most part, golfers fable about shooting lower than they actually do – as in the case of my story above.

But why?

Well, this harkens back to that little thing we call pride. People in general take pride in what they do and they don’t like to admit when they aren’t too good at something. Golf is a game that is particularly difficult to be successful at. So many prideful people who play golf tend to conceal the fact that, like most everyone else, they kinda stink at the game.

This sort of behavior is why you have to listen to the guy in the cubicle next to you go on and on about how good a golfer he is…until you finally get out on the course with him and he can’t hit it past the red tees. In your mind, this guy is both annoying and a liar. Whereas if he was forthcoming from the very beginning – that he’s terrible at golf like pretty much everyone else, the two of you might have ended up as good friends.

But unfortunately, golf liars are running rampant out there. And liars breed other liars until everyone verbally breaks 80 yet struggles to actually break 100 out on the course. Folks, this ridiculousness needs to stop!

The reality is golf is hard and only a very small percentage of people are good at it (like your club pro) and even a smaller percentage are really good at it (like pro tour golfers). Everyone else is just mediocre at best.

Look, lying isn’t necessary anyway because your score should always be secondary to the fact that you’re out doing something you love in the first place. So keep it real out there – both to your playing partners and yourself.

Filed Under: Golf Life Tagged With: cheating, handicap, liar, lying

Golf & Handicaps

June 13, 2014 | By Pete Girotto | 2 Comments

ghin cardLet me start by saying this is my opinion. Now that that’s out of the way we can continue. I was never one to record my scores for handicap purposes. A long time ago I heard something about golf handicaps that stayed with me ever since. When asked about his handicap, an older gentleman once said “High school varsity is high school varsity…tour pros are tour pros.”

What is the purpose of a handicap? To compete against someone better than you on equal grounds? I have an idea, play someone at your level! If you consistently shoot mid 80’s, play someone that consistently shoots mid 80’s. Any other sport that has an amateur rec league has a tier system of some sort to separate players into their appropriate skill levels.

I have never seen a men’s, women’s, co-ed or beer league use a handicap system. They don’t sit there and say “Ok, Chico’s Bail Bonds will start with 5 runs today against Vito’s Waste Removal because they stink.” Why else would you need a handicap, right? Hey, I’ll be the first to tell you I stink at golf.

Jokes aside, I tend to believe the bigger the handicap the less accurate it is. My theory is if you have a 25 handicap the chances of you scoring worse are better than someone with let’s say a 5 handicap. The 5 handicap is a pretty consistent golfer and his fluctuation percentage in scores between rounds will be lower than a less consistent 25 handicap. You follow?

In other words, a better golfer will be more consistent and should play against other golfers at their respective caliber. Now, if we’re just playing for fun then we can throw all this handicap stuff out the window and enjoy the round. Works for me!

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: amateur golf, golf handicap, handicap, tour pro

Is Your Foursome Ruining Your Golf Game?

November 13, 2013 | By Greg D'Andrea | 2 Comments

golfstinksIt’s great when you have friends that also golf. You get to spend time together strolling in the great outdoors and having good conversation – all while you’re enjoying the game you love. Nothing could be better than that, right?

Unless, of course, you’re not enjoying it at all.

Have you even noticed foursomes are typically comprised of golfers with similar handicaps? Sure, you might find a 15 handicap playing with a few 20+ handicaps. Or you might find a 10 playing with a 4 or 6 handicapper. But for the most part, the skill level of the group is typically on par (pardon the pun).

What you rarely see is a 1 or 2 handicap seriously engaged in their game while his three companions are hacking-up the course behind him. While there might be the rare exception (or a chance paring by the starter at the first tee), this is not something typically seen in a tight-knit foursome.

And it’s like this for one reason: Vast differences in skill-levels within foursomes ultimately leads to frustration and/or resentment by one or more in the group. Now some of you might be thinking; “I actually like playing with someone better than me because it makes me step-up my game.” Sure – that makes sense…If you are say an 18 handicap and you’re playing with a 10 handicap. But have that 18 consistently play with a 1 or 2 handicap and then see how much fun they’re having. After a while, many golfers will leave the group to play with someone “more their speed” (sound familiar)?

Conversely, the lower handicapper will complain all the poor play surrounding them is actually bringing down their game. Constantly waiting on someone while they hack-up the course with a blasé attitude will start to have phycological affects on you – and as a result, you might adopt (even subliminally) the same blasé attitude (leading to higher scores).

So the end result of this is four golfers of similar skill-levels typically end up playing together (birds of a feather…).

For example: I have an 18 handicap and have played with scratch golfers. While those rounds have been cordial, they have rarely been friendly. There’s usually little conversation and mostly this is due to the scratch golfer trying to focus on his game while at the same time ignoring mine!

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying scratch golfers are jerks – it’s just they are in a completely different frame of mind than I am. They are trying to tame the course and much of their focus during the round is on doing just that. But they have the game to pull it off.

I, on the other hand, do not. I am there solely to have fun. If I shank one in the woods or get 3 doubles in a row, it’s not going to ruin my day (though I’ll most likely be upset at the time). But what’s far more important to me is just being out on the course and enjoying my round the only way I know how: By simply playing.

Thus, I tend to gravitate toward golfers of a similar mindset (and subsequently, a similar handicap – like my GolfStinks pals). I don’t think this is a bad thing – it’s just human nature. So if you feel like you’re not enjoying golf because your foursome isn’t at the same level you are (regardless of if you’re the lower handicap or the higher), don’t be afraid to play elsewhere (even if these people are friends). If you’re ultimately not having fun, it’s probably time to make a change. I’ll bet the rest of the group will end up enjoying their games more too.

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: foursome, handicap

Do Golf Handicaps Lie?

April 18, 2012 | By Greg D'Andrea | 5 Comments

It’s no secret some golfers lie about their handicap. But can the handicap system itself be a bit deceiving?

I keep my own handicap – it’s not that hard, you just have to play at least five rounds of golf and then understand how to calculate it (more about that later).

But what if you play all your rounds at the same course? I’ve played many rounds in charity tournaments with guys who claim a handicap far better than the skill they displayed out on the links.

Do they lie? No their handicap does.

Invariably, these guys are members of a private club and all the scores they use to calculate their handicap have been calculated from that one course.

Sorry gents, your handicap is biased. I play a different course nearly every time. But if I played the same 18 holes day in and day out, for sure I would learn all the nooks and crannies, the dos and don’ts of that course. My scores overtime would get exponentially better.

Better scores translate to a lower handicap, which leads to bragging rights among the foursome. But go to a new course, and suddenly your 10 handicap looks more like a 15. What happened?

Golf happened! No two golf courses are alike. And that fact is perhaps among the most unique and defining features of this game – that to truly test your metal, you must play all that golf has to offer – not just the same tract of turf over and over again. But by only playing the same course, you’re doing your handicap (and yourself) a disservice.

Another wee issue I have with the handicap system is this whole five rounds thing. Statistically, I would think the more rounds you include, the more accurate your handicap. But there are many who say all you need is five.

Personally, I think the 5-round rule is so people can obtain a handicap faster. But to me, five rounds just isn’t enough – so I calculate my handicap from my previous 20 rounds. In case you didn’t know the formula for a handicap, here it is:

1. Play 20 rounds of 18-hole golf.
2. For each round, use this formula to calculate a handicap differential: (Your Score – The Course Rating) x 113 / The Slope Rating
3. Take the 10 best differentials and average them.
4. Multiply that average by 0.96.

Presto – you have a handicap. Can I poke holes in this formula? Sure – for example, who decided 113 was the “standard” slope rating and what was their logic? And why 96%? Are we assuming a 4% margin of error or something?

But despite these quasi-questionable values in the formula, nothing will skew the accuracy of a handicap like having your 20 scores coming all from one course.

I enjoy calculating my handicap every year and I feel it’s a pretty accurate reflection of my skill level. I just don’t think everyone can say the same thing about their handicap.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: calculate, course rating, differential, formula, golf, handicap, private club, private course, slope rating

Maybe What We Need Is Beer-League Golf…

February 21, 2011 | By Chris Chirico | 6 Comments

Have you ever met the guy who has no friggin’ idea what his handicap is? You’re having a conversation and golf comes up. You say “So you play, huh? What’s your handicap?” And you get this…”No idea. I usually shoot in the upper-90’s or low 100’s.” And you give him that look like you’re thinking “How the hell does this guy not know what his handicap is?” Don’t you just hate that guy? Well guess what…that guy is me.

The only reason I have some sort of general idea about my handicap is due to Stinky Golfer Greg. He figures it out for me. Otherwise, and for the most part anyway, I’m the guy who makes the above statement.

What I can’t figure out for the life of me is, why people look at me like I have three heads when I tell them I don’t know what my handicap is? Really now…what’s the big deal? If golf is supposed to be this game you play against yourself, then why is everyone so concerned with everyone elses handicap? Do you just want to know if you’re better than me? Here, I’ll make it simple for you…I stink….you’re better….my name is Stinky Golfer Chris for cryin’ out loud! There, do you feel better about your own game now? Glad I could help.

I don’t understand why all these golfers who are not pro players (and I’m sorry to inform them, never will be) have some fascination with this number. I also fail to understand why the simple concept of playing golf just for the fun of it, goes right over the heads of most. I’ll go back to an old analogy I made – I play beer league softball. I know or run into many others who play softball also. However, I have yet to hear one of those players ask me what my batting average is. Truthfully, why would they care? It’s just softball for fun. Don’t get me wrong…we all try to win. But if we don’t…so what? I look at golf in the same light. Why is that so hard for other golfers to understand?

I guess I just don’t understand the concept of spending obscene amounts of money on golf lessons only to take my new and improved game out to my local tracks. Let’s go back to softball for a second. I try to do well when I play…but I’m not about to go take private batting lessons with Walt Hriniak or field grounders with Ozzie Smith. I play for fun! Just like I do with golf! Why is that so hard to understand?

For some reason though, golfers just don’t get that. Most golfers can’t understand that I step onto the course with every intention of having a good time. If I play well, great! If not, great! As long as I played.

See, I think like this: Once I begin to really work at golf (lots of practice, taking lessons, etc…) the game is no longer a game. It’s now work. I don’t ever want a sport that I enjoy to become work. Especially if I’m not going to get paid for it!

Am I the only one who feels this way? Does anyone else not know, or care, what their handicap is? Does anyone else play this sport simply for the fun of it? I can’t be the only one of my kind….can I?

Swing ’til you’re happy! It’s the reason I play!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: golf course, golf lesson, golf stinks, golfstinks, handicap, Ozzie Smith, softball, Wal Hriniak

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