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Tall Tales From The Links; A Hacker’s Gripes

December 5, 2009 | By Pete Girotto | 1 Comment

8742707669_6f6b1a14eb_oFor me, golf is a game that involves coordination, concentration, relaxation and inebriation. I do not keep a handicap simply because I don’t have the extra time to practice and improve it.

If I have a good round, hit some great golf shots and birdie one or two holes, I’ll be the first to tell all my golf buddies and even those that could care less. What I don’t understand is why do people feel it necessary to tell fairytales that would rival Hans Christian Andersen.

So…What is it with the piles of horse hooey about incredible and falsified golf feats that must be told? Is it a psychological disorder? Come on, you know that 230 yard drive that turned into a 320 yard monster somewhere between teeing off and hitting the nineteenth hole? For some, the story will stick and take on a snowball effect and actually have others telling it like they were there. And for some, the jury will call the bluff (which yields a greater story) and make the defendant a certified BS’er to his buddies.

Just because the term “lie” is commonly used in golf doesn’t mean you should do it. I think almost every golfer has played a round with someone like this. The best is when a stranger joins your group, you offer to keep score and they end up being “that guy.” At first, you take the verbal diarrhea they are unloading into consideration and think; “Huh, maybe.” Then the signs start to become more visible. The extra shot to get out of the rough that you saw because they thought you weren’t looking. The two chip shots to get on the green because the first one was fat. The three putt. And finally “Put me down for a five…” Oh come on!

Pondering what just happened while heading in for a refreshment, you spot this friggin’ liar entering his info into the GHIN computer. Is this really happening? This mf’er has the balls and mentality to convince him/herself they actually shot that round. You know what? Check that person’s pockets when they leave, I bet they ripped the restaurant off for condiments.

I feel better now…until the next gripe: Hit’em hard and yell fore!

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Filed Under: Golf Life Tagged With: cheating, handicap, liar, lying

Comments

  1. Dave @ Mud Ball Golf Blog says

    December 7, 2009 at 1:52 am

    Is that how the handicapping works in the US – you enter your own scores into the computer without recourse to checking? In the UK all cards submitted (and then used for handicap) would need to be signed by another playing partner.
    Clearly if they sign for a false score then they are cheating as much as the person who’s score they are keeping.

    Nowt as strange as folk, I guess the saying is right.

    Reply

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