Pete Girotto, Author at GolfStinks • Page 32 of 57

When It’s Time To Pick Up Golf.

April 25, 2012 | By Pete Girotto | 2 Comments

Now. Right now is the time. So, put down whatever you’re doing and head out to your local track and start golfing. Don’t worry, just tell your boss, C.O. (as in commanding not corrections officer), S.O. (kind of like a corrections officer but more on the significant side) or whoever we said it’s o.k. They’ll understand. In fact, they might even join you…or not and you’ll be fired. Either way you will have time to start golfing. Bonus!

Non-golfers pay attention and if any of you golfers know of any non-golfers please refer them to this. Now, when is it time to pick up golf? Great question! I’ve put together some life scenarios that point to the fact that maybe it’s time to start playing golf. Here we go:

If you play a sport (other than golf) in a rec league and suffer from what I call 18/80 syndrome*.
If your weekends consist of a substantial “honey-do” list and you need an escape. Hey, you don’t want to disappoint the fellas.
If you are looking to succeed in business. Fact: Many deals have been forged on the course.
If your weekends have time gaps during the day where you can squeeze in 9 or 18…or even if they don’t.
If you are retired, semi-retired, wanna-be retired or not even close to retiring.
If, as Mark Twain said, you are looking to ruin a good walk.
If you are completely stressed out, frustrated, pissed off and want to make it worse.
If you feel your cursing is sub par and needs more practice.
If you want a chance to use our glossary.
If you want to be part of something great.

There you have it, reasons to start golfing. Get out there and play dammit!

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

* 18/80 syndrome is when you still think you can play like you are 18 but in reality you look and feel like you’re 80.

Golf Needs Us

April 20, 2012 | By Pete Girotto | Leave a Comment

When I use the word us, I’m not referring to just us here at Golfstinks.com but the whole community of average hacks we belong to. I’m talking about the 26 or so million of us. Talk about power in numbers. It’s kind of surreal that we hold a great bargaining chip over the industry and we don’t even think about it, never mind use it. That chip being good old fashioned $$$.

Think about it, if we harness the buying power as a collective group could you imagine the control we would have. If we thought equipment prices were getting a little high…no problem, we could fix that. What’s that, greens fees are out of control? We can fix that too. Here’s the reality, 99.9% of the 26 million plus golfers in the USA are comprised of average hacks…us, the ones who keep this industry going.

Golf also needs us because we keep the tradition alive. Just like it was introduced to us, we will someday maybe introduce it to someone else and so on. Along with playing comes one of my favorite parts – the stories. True or not, I like listening to golfer’s stories because they’re always intriguing, funny or incredible. How often do you hear a lame story?

Another thing, I’d rather listen to an average joe’s stories than a pro’s. They seem to have better content. You know when a hack is about to tell a good story because it begins with ” You are not going to believe this s%@#…” The fact that we stink at golf automatically paves a path to great stories with all the mis-hits, animal encounters on the course, golf ball pinball off trees and cart mishaps. Let’s all revel in our stinky-ness and unite.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!! Power to the people!

Bubba Watson Plays With His Pink Shaft

April 13, 2012 | By Pete Girotto | Leave a Comment

800px-Bubba_Watson_at_the_2011_Presidents_Cup_1 — Bubba playing with his pink shaft… (photo by Hone Morihana / CC BY 2.0)

…and if you shell out 4 Benjamins so can you. Well, not his pink shaft…you know what I mean, dammit! What is all the hoopla about Bubba’s pink club? Leave him be if he wants to express himself. What? Oh, it’s for charity. Well, that explains it. Boy, do I feel silly.

Seriously, if you haven’t been following or heard, Bubba Watson has started a charity project called Drive to a Million. It’s an effort to raise a million dollars for various charities. Along with his Drive to a Million campaign, Ping and Mr. Watson have also initiated Bubba Long In Pink. Driven By Ping. The deal is that PING will donate $300 for the first 300 drives Bubba launches over 300 yards in 2012 (obviously with his pink Ping driver) to his “Drive” campaign. Very cool! I’m liking the effort fellas.

Since we are discussing charities, I can’t forget to mention there are a bunch of other pro’s that are working hard to raise money and one great cause I personally like is Birdies For The Brave. As they put it:

Birdies for the Brave was originally created by TOUR player Phil Mickelson and his wife, Amy, to support troops injured during combat. For each birdie or eagle made by Phil throughout the season, a contribution of $100 for a birdie or $500 for an eagle is made to Homes For Our Troops and Special Operations Warrior Foundation.

Now, what the hell are you waiting for? Don’t be cheap and help out. It’s better to give then receive. Unless someone has a 1962 Ferrari 250 GTO they want to give me. I apologize, that was selfish of me. I would gladly take a ’63 or ’64.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!! Get involved.

Does Augusta Think Girls Have Cooties?

April 6, 2012 | By Pete Girotto | 2 Comments

When I was a kid our families would get together at our grandmother’s house every Sunday. Coming from a large Italian family, this was a good way for all the aunts, uncles and cousins to see each other. Just like clockwork the older members would sit around the kitchen table drinking espresso and pick at some sort of cake or pie while the cousins would go off and play. And just like clockwork, the boys would either make some sort of a make-shift fort in the backyard or occupy a back room and then implement a “no girls allowed” policy.

This story reminds me of Augusta National Golf Club. A male-only golf club since opening in 1933. Here’s the kicker; a woman can play Augusta only if she is invited by a member but can’t become a member. What’s so secretive that only 300 or so “invited” male members are privy to? Well, well, well Augusta…the day of reckoning has come.

In the past, IBM’s CEOs were normally given memberships to the club (Note: IBM sponsors the tourney). But what if IBM’s CEO is female? Uh-oh! Enter Virginia Rometty. IBM’S new CEO and guess what? She’s a women. Sounds like Augusta is in a little bit of a pickle. Not to mention, Obama and Romney (in a rare instance) both agreed they should allow female members. Yikes, talk about pressure.

I’m pretty sure if women really wanted to be granted membership at Augusta they could get it. Females are damn good at persuasion. How often does a woman buy a man an engagement ring? There you go. I’ll bet if women used a bit of third grade reverse psychology it might work. You know, “We don’t want to be in your stupid club anyway…it smells. We’re starting our own.” The boys laugh it off and tell the girls to go start their own club but in the back of their minds they really want to know what the girl club is doing. Then the boys notice “Hey, they have sandwiches and cake. We don’t have sandwiches and cake.”

I like sandwiches and cake.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

I’m Not A Bad Golfer.

March 30, 2012 | By Pete Girotto | 2 Comments

I just don’t play well. Think about that statement for a minute. Just because my score at the end of a round can be confused with an “A” student’s test score plus extra credit, doesn’t mean I am a bad golfer. To me, being a good golfer encompasses more than just playing well. There’s a responsibility to the course and the other golfers around you.

If I was to par a course but had no etiquette and did stuff like hit into the group ahead of me, walk on your line, litter, in other words; be an all around a-hole…would I still be considered a good golfer? Not in my book. I play well but am definitely not a good golfer. As far as I’m concerned, I must embody all the elements that go along with being a good golfer.

Taking this a step further, golf is almost its own culture. It has identifying traits that are fairly easy to distinguish. For example, we can visually recognize a golfer from a non-golfer by what they wear. Golf has it’s own lingo (granted it’s in English) and these words would not exist if it weren’t for golf.

Why is this important? Going back to the good golfer/bad golfer thing, it’s important to respect your culture and abide by its rules. If I were a cop and busted the most criminals but had a serious cocaine problem and moonlighted as a serial killer, am I a good cop? Discuss.

Here’s to being a good golfer.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

When It’s Time To Pick Up Golf.

Golf Needs Us

Bubba Watson Plays With His Pink Shaft

Does Augusta Think Girls Have Cooties?

I’m Not A Bad Golfer.

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