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Who Would You Golf With?

July 6, 2012 | By Pete Girotto | 1 Comment

One of the things we like to know about the members of Golfstinks is; Who you would have in your dream foursome? If you had the chance to assemble three other golfers (or non-golfers…we don’t judge)  who would you choose? This is something that could change every so often or not at all. This took some time to compile but I think I got a good group…for now.

#1 Michael Jordan. What else do I need to say? A fierce competitor, a great golfer and most importantly – he takes chances. Mike’s a gambler (literally) and is not afraid to throw-down a few grand on a shot. I admire his fearlessness. Don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t afford one hole with this guy but I’d like to see it go down.

#2 Robert De Niro. Fuhgettaboutit. I have no idea if he really likes golf but I want him in the foursome. There are two reasons why. A) When I mess up a shot it would be funny to hear him say “You screwed up just a little bit, just a little bit.” And B) When he screws up a shot, it’ll be the absolute best to see him go Jimmy “The Gent” Conway on his clubs.

#3 Chevy Chase. Yes, I love Caddyshack. Yes, Ty Webb was a great character and yes, I do want to hear lines from the movie. Come on, who wouldn’t? If Ted Knight was still alive he might have made the cut as well. Just remember to be the ball and stay out of the lumberyard…

So, who’s in your foursome?

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: caddyshack, chevy chase, Jimmy The Gent Conway, Michael Jordan, robert deniro, ted knight

Golf Gadgets; WTF? (Part 4)

June 27, 2012 | By Pete Girotto | 1 Comment

This stuff just doesn’t get old. Ok, so hold on a minute, you mean to tell me that after using all these gadgets you’re still not on the tour? That’s just incongruous and inane. All that hard earned money invested and still no ROI.  With that in mind…round 4…ding!

What They Say: The SKLZ Straight Shooter gives you honest feedback on your golf swing and helps eliminate slices and hooks to hit longer and straighter. Learn the perfect golf swing. Take the practice range anywhere and never run out of golf balls. Hit with any wood, iron or wedge.

What I Say: You know why it helps eliminate slices and hooks? Because the ball doesn’t go anywhere. It spins round n’ round on a stick…talk about insulting our intelligence.

What They Say: This is the putting trainer that helps you improve your ball striking, club path, and putt alignment. The system’s infrared sensors detect both the speed and direction of each putt, providing precise, instant feedback by showing exactly where the midpoint of the ball has struck the bar in relation to its “virtual hole.”

What I Say: You know, for $330 you would think it should look more like a putting aid and less like a shoe size measuring device. If I bought this I would certainly feel like a certain kind of “hole” but not so virtual.

What They Say: Get your putting up to par with this precision-calibrated practice aid.

  • Rolls dead ahead with the perfect putt, but spins or veers when stroked at an angle
  • Wheels control the ball’s path
  • Great for home or office

What I Say: Slap some training wheels on that sum’bitch and watch her go…yeehaw!

Well, that’ll wrap things up for round four. Thanks again for all the great emails and support!

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: electronic putting trainer, golf gadgets, putt straight, SKLZ straight shooter

Defining A Golf Era.

June 22, 2012 | By Pete Girotto | 1 Comment

Following golf for the past 25 years or so has opened my eyes to many exceptional players. Unfortunately, no matter which way you cut it, a lot of these greats were lost in the shuffle. The reality is, just like other pro sports, we associate greatness with not just being at the top of your game but also with mass appeal.

From the late 90’s to about 2010 we all know golf was owned by Tiger. He was everywhere and everything golf.  There is no doubt about that. It was Tiger’s world and everyone else was living in it. Vijay, Phil and Furyk all had their chances, but couldn’t quite do it. Tiger was…ok, ok…is still a great golfer no doubt but golf is as much mental as it is physical. When his scandal went public his golf game suffered soon after. And so went an era.

What about a decade earlier when Greg Norman and Nick Faldo dominated? Why didn’t they get as much hype? Neither one was presented a $40 million dollar deal from Nike. Wouldn’t that have changed things a bit? I understand times were different then but I’m sure a deal like that would have altered the way things played out.

Going back a few more years, the last golf era I can think of was the Jack Nicklaus days. Granted I was a youngster and caught the end of his reign but you couldn’t mention golf without the name Jack Nicklaus. Looking to the future I wonder who will be next? It should be quite interesting to see especially with a young talented group to pick from.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

Filed Under: The Pro Tours Tagged With: golf, golf era, greg norman, jack nicklaus, nick faldo, tiger woods

Golf & The Art Of Falling Apart.

June 15, 2012 | By Pete Girotto | Leave a Comment

So, the title is pretty self explanatory. Any hack or pro for that matter can relate for the most part. Why exactly do we fall apart and why is it an art? Art is more or less defined as works produced by the application of human skill and creativeness. Think about that for a minute.

When we apply the definition of art to falling apart on a golf course, we might not see the correlation. Trust me…there is. For example, the most common occurrence of falling apart is on the back nine. Every golfer I know, including me on many occasions, has at one point or another muttered the words “I fell apart on the back nine.” Oh, and some choice words peppered in there as well.

Where does the art part come in? Since you asked here’s your answer – we worked at it. Really. We worked at falling apart. It’s not like you stopped trying on the back nine. We went at it just as we did the front. In fact, the more we fall apart the more “creative” we get with our shots. All this “creativity” leads to more falling apart. I’m not sure what happens between the 9th and 10th hole…wait…it’s those damn hot dogs. My cardiologist told me to avoid those things and now I know why.

Considering we are discussing being artsy and what not, a poem comes to mind – Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner”. You might have read it but if not it’s where the metaphor “albatross around your neck” derives. In golf, an albatross is 3 under par. In literary and seafaring terms, an albatross can be seen as an omen of good luck but it’s mostly associated with a curse or burden.

We know that Coleridge was an English poet from the late 1700’s. We also know that golf and sailing are very much a part of the British Isles’ history. Using deductive reasoning, I’ve come to the conclusion that we should avoid the hot dogs at the turn because they are made from albatross.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!! Nobel peace prize…here I come!  

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: albatross, golf, golf stinks, golfstinks, hot dog, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, The Rime of the Ancient Mariner

Golf: A Real Ball Breaker

June 8, 2012 | By Pete Girotto | Leave a Comment

IMG_4700
Sometimes we feel like this golf ball out on the course… (photo by Greg D’Andrea)

Golf is, hands down, an absolute ball breaker, club breaker, bank breaker and whatever else breaker. This sport (or “game” for the non-believers) seems to have more cons going for it than pros. And that’s at any level. Beginners struggle with pretty much everything. Professionals struggle (and I use that term loosely) with certain facets of their game too.

In reality, pro’s are scratch or close to scratch golfers. Why do they feel the need to break a $500 dollar club because they hit an errant tee shot? No big deal dude…you screwed up, stuff happens. You are part of an elite group. It’s called “professional golfer”…act like it. You see where this is going, the whole ball, club and bank breaking thing? Not to mention in a few instances, relationship breaker.

So, why do we keep playing? I have no friggin’ clue. Here’s a game that, when I’m playing, I hate every other shot and dislike the ones in between. People say it’s that one great shot that keeps you coming back…hmmmm…so then golf is like crack. I heard stories from addicts that tried crack for the first time and were chasing that high ever since. Golf and crack; same jazz different band.

Ok, maybe crack and golf aren’t quite on the same level but you get my point. Why do I keep playing? Well yes, it’s that one shot, it’s the camaraderie, the challenge but most important – I love the game. I know it’s rather insane when you think about it. You motherf$#@ everything when you’re playing and swear you’ll never pick up the sticks again. But when you’re off the course, you miss it and think about it. I believe Frank Sinatra said it best: That’s life.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!! Be a hack, don’t do crack.

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: #somethingaboutgolf, broken golf club, crack

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