GolfStinks

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Chip Shots: Veni, Vidi…Golfi.

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This picture got me thinking. The Romans are credited with a lot of innovation and what-not and I know golf’s history goes back to Scotland. What I’m trying to find out is if anybody before this ever played a game where they hit little round rocks with a stick? I wonder if golf’s history truly does start in Scotland. Not taking away from the Scots’ contribution, I love golf, but just curious to see how far back it actually goes and where any influences have might come from.

Anyway, just wondering. Especially considering the Romans were indeed in Scotland at one point (71-213 AD)!  

Tough Mother Golfer.

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If you are into fitness,  I’m sure you are well aware of the obstacle course races that are gaining popularity by the day. Even if the extent of your daily exercise routine is getting out of bed, you might have heard of these obstacle course races as well. There’s the Tough Mudder, Warrior Dash, Spartan Sprint, Spartan Beast – the list goes on. What’s great about these races is that along with getting you in shape they are also associated with great causes such as the Wounded Warrior Project.

GolfStinks is very thankful and proud of all the men and woman who serve or have served. We are also advocates of staying healthy (although some of our physical appearances might lead you to believe otherwise) and obviously we love golf. So, what if we were to incorporate golf with some sort of an obstacle course and do it for a great cause? Instead of holding a normal golf tournament, let’s put a spin on things and get our heart rates above dead!

Here’s the basic idea:
  1. We use the Texas Scramble method.
  2. No carts. We give them a day off and use good old fashioned man-power to cart our stuff.
  3. Dump and chase. We take this ice hockey principle and use it on the course. Hit the ball and then run after it like it owes us money.
  4. On the way to your ball there’s a few obstacles that need to be conquered first. Hurdles, a wall to climb and maybe an “Arctic Enema” (an actual Tough Mudder obstacle) for good measure. That gives me the chills just thinking about it, no pun intended.
  5. Everything is based on teamwork. Not so much as who finishes first but making sure your foursome completes the course together.
  6. Oh yeah, skipping obstacles costs you strokes so don’t be cheatin’!
 I think I have a good thing going. It’s in the beginning stages but with a little help and some planning this could fly. Now I’m asking you, the golf community, for some input. If you have any ideas or comments let’s hear them.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

I Cheat At Golf And I’m O.K. With It.

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Stinky Golfer Pete taking a Mulligan - is this a cheat?(photo by Greg D'Andrea)
Stinky Golfer Pete taking a Mulligan – is this a cheat? (photo by Greg D’Andrea)

Under normal circumstances I try my best to live as ethically and morally correct as possible. Of course ethics and morality can be subjective but I’m referring to it as what society deems normal ethical and moral practices.

You know, I try not to rob banks, swindle old people out of money or “sample” produce at the grocery store. I prefer to have as little on my conscious as possible.

Then there’s golf. Without trying or thinking about it I cheat at least 2-3 times a round. Why? I have no friggin’ idea. The rules are clear and in place and I’m well aware of them but I choose to break them to my advantage and that’s fine with me.  I made a quick list off the top of my head of my problem areas.

  1. Lost ball – No, I do not hit a provisional nor do I re-tee. I drop the ball where I think it should be.
  2. Play it as it lies – Right after I improve the lie.
  3. Picking up the ball on the fairway (or in the rough) to clean it or check to see if it’s mine – Can’t play with dirty balls…especially if they are not mine.
  4. The gimme – Anything within a clubs length of the hole is good in my book.
  5. Grounding clubs – Come on man, we’re not on the tour.
  6. Taking someone else’s ball – Thought it was mine…honest mistake.
  7. Mulligan/Breakfast ball – Mr. Mulligan said I get a re-do.

This is what I’ve got so far. I know we’ve covered this before but I’m pretty sure there are a lot of other hacks out there that have these issues as well. It’s o.k., we are only human. I believe Alexander Pope said “To err is human; to forgive, divine.” That being said, I forgive myself for erring and look forward to another divine round.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

My Dog Sniffs My Balls…Golf Balls That Is.

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I think I’m on to something here. First of all, how many of you are sick and tired of losing your ball but swear that you watched exactly where your ball landed? It’s ridiculous, no? It’s not like the local track is going to pay to have field marshals out there. How can I cut down on the balls I lose?

Well, there’s a term we use at Golfstinks called the Pro Advantage Factor or PAF for short. It basically means pro’s have an advantage when it comes to errant shots because the spectators or marshals usually find the ball. You see, I want to equal that playing ground and give us average hacks an opportunity to shave some strokes.

This is why I think we should have ball sniffing dogs on the course. There are so many good reasons I don’t know where to begin. Let’s see, for starters we can train rescue dogs. They deserve a good home and a chance at life. Dog wages are a lot cheaper than human wages and they rarely talk back. Canines do their job and are happy to do it. The piles of doggy poo can be used as fertilizer. Not to mention it would be pretty damn cool to have a dog sniff out your ball. I would probably golf more if that was available to me. 

How realistic is this? Well, I’m really not sure. People scoffed at Edison when he presented the lightbulb. The Wright brothers took their share of disses. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not re-inventing the wheel but I’m bringing two things together that I think would compliment each other. Imagine actually finding your ball after 95% of your shots (the other 5%…well, nothing we can do about water). Just my $0.02…


Hit’em long…yell FORE!!! 

Chip Shots: Dinner, 2 Rounds of Golf or a Dozen Balls?

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What would you spend $75 on? If you answer dinner or a couple rounds, you are a normal person. If you answer a dozen balls, well I don’t know what to say but read on. Yes it’s true, Dixon Golf sells a dozen of it’s “Fire” series balls for a whopping 75 clams. They also mention that they are for pro’s and scratch golfers. I guess that means the 26 million or so hacks don’t apply. 

In Dixon’s defense, they do a lot of work with charities giving a percentage of their sales to deserving recipients. In fact they have a section on their site dedicated to it. That works for me. Anybody ever use them?

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

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