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I Cheat At Golf And I’m O.K. With It.

August 17, 2012 | By Pete Girotto | 2 Comments

Stinky Golfer Pete taking a Mulligan - is this a cheat?(photo by Greg D'Andrea)
Stinky Golfer Pete taking a Mulligan – is this a cheat? (photo by Greg D’Andrea)

Under normal circumstances I try my best to live as ethically and morally correct as possible. Of course ethics and morality can be subjective but I’m referring to it as what society deems normal ethical and moral practices.

You know, I try not to rob banks, swindle old people out of money or “sample” produce at the grocery store. I prefer to have as little on my conscious as possible.

Then there’s golf. Without trying or thinking about it I cheat at least 2-3 times a round. Why? I have no friggin’ idea. The rules are clear and in place and I’m well aware of them but I choose to break them to my advantage and that’s fine with me.  I made a quick list off the top of my head of my problem areas.

  1. Lost ball – No, I do not hit a provisional nor do I re-tee. I drop the ball where I think it should be.
  2. Play it as it lies – Right after I improve the lie.
  3. Picking up the ball on the fairway (or in the rough) to clean it or check to see if it’s mine – Can’t play with dirty balls…especially if they are not mine.
  4. The gimme – Anything within a clubs length of the hole is good in my book.
  5. Grounding clubs – Come on man, we’re not on the tour.
  6. Taking someone else’s ball – Thought it was mine…honest mistake.
  7. Mulligan/Breakfast ball – Mr. Mulligan said I get a re-do.

This is what I’ve got so far. I know we’ve covered this before but I’m pretty sure there are a lot of other hacks out there that have these issues as well. It’s o.k., we are only human. I believe Alexander Pope said “To err is human; to forgive, divine.” That being said, I forgive myself for erring and look forward to another divine round.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: cheat, cheating at golf, ethics, lost ball, mulligan

Golf And Morality.

October 21, 2011 | By Pete Girotto | 1 Comment

Most of us know that golf is a pretty honorable game. We’ve seen pro’s call penalty’s on themselves when they could have gotten away with it. Not for nothing, it makes me wonder how much they actually did get away with. We’ve also seen that amongst amateurs as well. The image golf portrays is that of honesty and an overall sense of doing the right thing.

What I want to know is: Do we carry these morals and ethics of golf into real life? I’d like to think so. Generally, we are good people. Why wouldn’t we be? So, to really answer that question I’ve devised a little questionnaire to help us hacks pin-point what kind of person we are. Let’s begin.

1) Where were you the day your child was born?

A. With the mother of our child.
B. At the bar.
C. At the golf course.


(If you are the mother and answered B or C…you are a trooper and my hero!)

2) Where were you on your child’s 1st birthday?

A. With the kid.
B. At the bar.

C. At the golf course.

3) Where were you on your wedding day?

A. With my spouse.
B. At the bar.

C. At the golf course.

If you answered A to all of the questions, you are a good person and golf is proud to have you as a member of it’s community.

If you answered B to all of the questions…you need help.

If you answered C to all of the questions, you are an avid golfer and an asshole.

Hit’em long…Yell FORE!!!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: ethics, golf, golf stinks, golfstinks, morality, morals

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