GolfStinks

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Love, A Fore Letter Word.

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Does this sound familiar?

Golfer: “Honey, I’m going golfing. I’ll be back by 12.”

Significant Other (SO): “But babe, the garage needs to be painted, the yard is a mess and you never hang out with meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…”

Golfer: “Come on, we hang out every night and why are you bringing this up now?”

SO: “Why am I bringing this up? The only place you take me is for granted.”

Golfer: (mumbling) “Here we go…”

SO: “What was that?!?! What did you say?!?! Blah blah blah…

All of a sudden it feels like you are talking to Charlie Brown’s parents or teacher. Wah wah, wah wah wah wah waaah. How can this be avoided? It never fails, every time you try to get out to hack up the local track, BAM, mission foiled…again.

I might have the solution. First of all, if your relationship is not good for your golf game (ok, or you), run…fast. There’s nothing worse than a relationship that’s destined to fail. After you have escaped from the thralls of the evil golf hater, wallow in your new found freedom and pursue a more suitable relationship. One that includes golf.

How do I do that? Well, I’m glad you asked. Allow me to introduce you to the ASGA, American Singles Golf Association. What is the ASGA? Here’s what they have to say:

“The American Singles Golf Association is a group of chapters throughout the United States and Canada composed of real people you meet face-to-face and, of course, play golf with. Chapters hold general membership meetings once each month and play golf as a group as often as they would like. Many social-only events are also held throughout the year.

“…it’s a bunch of people who are single (i.e. never married, divorced, widowed, or legally separated), age 21 or over who really, really, really enjoy golf.”

What are you waiting for? Check out singlesgolf.com and go get’em tiger…oof…bad joke.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

Golf: A Human Sport…

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I’m stuck in a catch 22. Besides Golfstinks.com, I also work in the semiconductor industry supplying manufacturers with components to make circuit boards. I’m all about electronics and developing new technology but not so much when it comes to golf. As much as these electronic gadgets supposedly make life easier, it can also take from the human aspect of it. I’m submerged knee deep in electronics on a daily basis, golfing is my way to get away from it.

To me, golf is a sport* that relies heavily on human feel, intuition, instinct, some common sense and most importantly – practice. I’m not really sure if electronics should have much play in this game we love. For example, you drop $300 on a golf GPS apparatus another $250 on a rangefinder and what does it tell you? You are 205 yards out from the green. Great, you couldn’t figure that out by looking at the 200 yard marker 5 yards in front you?

Hey, if you are going to drop $500 on some gadgets to tell you where you are on a golf course, I’m sure for another $500 you can hire a pro to take the shot for you too. Just saying. In reality, what device do we need to improve our game? I know, it’s called playing…a lot. Leave the rangefinder’s and GPS stuff for the Navy Seals.

Electronics can be like drugs whereas we develop a dependency for them. Case in point, cellphones. We can leave the house without our wallet and not really care to turn around and go get it. If we leave without our cell…forget it, might as well be naked because that’s how we feel. That being said, let’s keep golf the way it was meant to be – a human sport*.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

*For those that feel golf is a game and not a sport, just replace the word sport with game and we can co-exist peacefully.

Golf Gadgets; WTF? (Part 3)

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Ok, it’s been a while since we did one of these but it’s back. In our 3rd installment, we will delve further into the “golf training aid” market and have a look at what will bring the tour within reach for us hacks. Ding! Ding! Let’s get it on!

What They Say:Using a proven and unique frame and brace design, several new features have been incorporated into the newCentreCup Pro so it promotesboth the ‘straight-back and straight-through’ PILS putting stroke and the ‘inside-square-inside’ stroke.CentreCup Pro is the upgradedversion of the best-selling CentreCup®putting aid and delivers a pure putting stroke every time – whichever method a teaching professional recommends.

What I Say: I got a better method for you. Get drunk, I’ll slump you over a lowered pull up bar and you can putt til you puke. Hey, at least you’ll get your money’s worth.
What They Say: I don’t know what they could possibly say about the “Power Swing Fan Training Aid.” It’s a fan…
What I Say: “It is so friggin’ hot out here today! Hey Bob, break out that fan and cool us own a bit, would ya?”
What They Say: PivotPro guides you towards a correct pivot, encouraging correct golf swing fundamentals that result in proper coiling of the upper torso against the back leg. PivotPro helps you create maximum resistance that leads to more power, consistency, proper weight distribution, and footwork. It’s like having your own professional golf instructor at your beck and call!
What I Say: Professional golf instructor at your beck and call? You’re telling me thissnow board binding on a stick is like an instructor? Hank Haney better watch out.
There it is, another successful look at golf training aids Golfstinks.com style.
Hit’em long…yell FORE!

I Might Actually Watch Golf Again…

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A couple weeks back I watched a three way playoff between Haas, Mickelson and Bradley for the Northern Trust Open. This is the first time I watched golf on purpose in a long, long time. And for the first time in a long, long time I was enjoying golf on TV. Fast forward a week or so later and Stinky Golfer Chris posted about the PGA needing their own Jeremy Lin. I agree.

In the meantime, as we wait for a new star to emerge, I’m watching golf to see who will take over the throne. It’s exciting times in the pro golf universe. With all that negative hoopla the media was giving golf because Tiger couldn’t keep it in his pants, it’s actually refreshing to see a clean slate and a top spot yet to be filled. It’s all about turning the negatives into positives, right?

So, who’s it going to be? Let’s take a look at the top 5 in the FedExCup standings.
Rank
This
Week 		Rank
Last
Week 		Player Events Points # of Wins # of Top 10’s Points behind Lead Reset Points
1 1 Kyle Stanley 6 935 1 2

2 2 Johnson Wagner 6 860 1 3 75
3 3 Phil Mickelson 5 807 1 2 128
4 6 Mark Wilson 6 802 1 2 133
5 4 Bill Haas 6 752 1 2 183

Isn’t this a change of pace? Kyle Stanley leading the pack. Wait…who? Kyle Stanley? Not so bad for someone that is ranked 48th in the world. What about the #1 ranked golfer in the world, Luke Donald. Again…who? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking these guys. I find it funny how golf, or the media rather hasn’t found its star in this group of leaders.

What’s the issue? Are they waiting for Tiger to mount his comeback? Come on man! It’s time for new blood. There’s a whole pool of young guns worthy of the limelight. These guys have such a great opportunity right under their noses. As long as they battle it out and vie for that top spot, the tour will make my TV channel rotation on Sunday afternoons. I just hope it stays interesting for a while.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

Golfstinks.com Open Book Quiz

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As you probably already know, golfstinks.com is very proud of it’s glossary. So proud in fact we really enjoy sharing it with our readers. That said, let’s test your knowledge on what we have worked so hard at compiling and creating for you.

All you have to do is guess the correct glossary entry. We provide the definition you provide the right golfstinks.com glossary term. It’s as simple as that. Now, as the title invokes, this is an open book test. Well, more of an open internet test. Feel free to use whatever means necessary to get the right answer. In other words…cheat, you do it on the course anyway.

Submit your answers to info@golfstinks.com and we will randomly select a reader with the correct answers. The winner will get a Golf Genie Practice Drills Pocket Guide! A $15 dollar value!

Let’s get started:

1. when the score one puts down is somehow mysteriously lower than what they actually got (can be applied to either one particular hole or to an entire round).

2. a golf course where the holes are so close together and/or the players so bad, you’re always ducking for cover from stray golf balls.

3. while putting, when the ball circles the hole before dropping into the cup.

4. the act of hitting the ball to the extreme left and then hitting it to the extreme right on the very next shot, especially if the act is done several times in unison (left, right, left, right, forward…march)!

5. the person (usually female) that drives the food cart around on a golf course to sell beer, water and snacks to the golfers.

Contest ends March 2, 2012. Good Luck!

If after this little exam you are inspired and feel you have a glossary suggestion worthy of our Average Joe Golf Glossary, submit the term and definition HERE. In the event we accept your entry and use it in our glossary, you will win a Golf Genie Tee to Green Pocket Guide as well as go down in history as part of the coolest golf site!

Hit’em long…yell FORE!

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