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Golfing With That Guy

May 4, 2012 | By Pete Girotto | 3 Comments

When I say that guy, I’m referring to that guy. You know who I’m talking about. The person that everyone can’t stand and tries not to become. Please do not confuse that guy with “that” guy – the one who sneaks into the background of photos unnoticed. Such as “Hey, what a great picture of…wait a minute…who’s that guy making faces in the back?”

As you can probably see, this is going to be somewhat of a rant. So, a friend of mine and I were paired up with another two at a local track. As soon as we approached the two, red flags went up all over the place. The that guy warning siren was blaring in my head. Here we had the first guy adjusting those balance or weight screws on his driver and explaining to his buddy the reason for them. Oh boy, a know-it-all.

Just to clarify, his buddy didn’t seem to give a rat’s ass about the driver, its weights or whatever else was being explained (which was another indicator of what was in store). But, I told myself not to jump to conclusions and gave him a fair shake. We step to the tee box and have at it. Wouldn’t you know, Mr. Let-Me-Adjust-My-Driver-For-The-Wind-Conditions shanks it right into the lumber yard. WTF! He then proceeds to look for it, swearing it hit off something and bounced out. After not finding it, he insists he has to tee-off again even though there’s a bit of a back up on the tee box. Yep, he’s that guy.

Now, how can this get any worse you ask? That guy also felt the need to quote golf movies while he plays. “Cinderella story…” or “It’s in the hole!” Dude, shut the f@#$ up! Please! We all saw that movie a hundred-thousand times. I can recite the lines verbatim. In fact, I can probably re-enact the whole movie by myself. 

Well, I’m glad I got that off my chest. Thanks for listening.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!! Don’t be that guy.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: bad golfer, caddyshack, carl spackler, golf, golf stinks, golfstinks, golfstinks glossary, lumber yard, quotes, that guy

Golfstinks.com Open Book Quiz

February 24, 2012 | By Pete Girotto | Leave a Comment

As you probably already know, golfstinks.com is very proud of it’s glossary. So proud in fact we really enjoy sharing it with our readers. That said, let’s test your knowledge on what we have worked so hard at compiling and creating for you.

All you have to do is guess the correct glossary entry. We provide the definition you provide the right golfstinks.com glossary term. It’s as simple as that. Now, as the title invokes, this is an open book test. Well, more of an open internet test. Feel free to use whatever means necessary to get the right answer. In other words…cheat, you do it on the course anyway.

Submit your answers to info@golfstinks.com and we will randomly select a reader with the correct answers. The winner will get a Golf Genie Practice Drills Pocket Guide! A $15 dollar value!

Let’s get started:

1. when the score one puts down is somehow mysteriously lower than what they actually got (can be applied to either one particular hole or to an entire round).

2. a golf course where the holes are so close together and/or the players so bad, you’re always ducking for cover from stray golf balls.

3. while putting, when the ball circles the hole before dropping into the cup.

4. the act of hitting the ball to the extreme left and then hitting it to the extreme right on the very next shot, especially if the act is done several times in unison (left, right, left, right, forward…march)!

5. the person (usually female) that drives the food cart around on a golf course to sell beer, water and snacks to the golfers.

Contest ends March 2, 2012. Good Luck!

If after this little exam you are inspired and feel you have a glossary suggestion worthy of our Average Joe Golf Glossary, submit the term and definition HERE. In the event we accept your entry and use it in our glossary, you will win a Golf Genie Tee to Green Pocket Guide as well as go down in history as part of the coolest golf site!

Hit’em long…yell FORE!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: golf, golf genie, golf glossary, golf stinks, golfstinks, golfstinks glossary, quiz

You Golf With What?

February 10, 2012 | By Pete Girotto | 1 Comment

We here at Golfstinks.com are very proud of our glossary. You will see us use the various entries in our posts from time to time. Today happens to be one of those times. I always get a kick out of those people that don’t quite use the right equipment to play and we have a term called tennis shoe crowd which pretty much describes them.

tennis shoe crowd [ ténniss shoo krowd ]


phrase

persons whom play golf so infrequently, they do not sport the usual golf styles or equipment (these people are easily spotted on the course because they are playing with vintage garage sale clubs, wearing a t-shirt or wife-beater, jean shorts and donning tennis shoes).

There’s one particular time that comes to mind when the group in front of us appeared to be perfect examples of the tennis shoe crowd. They had all the tell tale signs; the vintage clubs, the swing-and-a-miss stroke play, the screaming across the fairway “Hey, watch this!” etc…you get the point. Mind you, we were also playing a local par 3 executive course known to be very relaxed.

We were making our way around the course when we came to a back-up around the 8th hole. Here’s our chance to get a close-up on the group in front of us and needless to say, I did not disappoint. Boy were we in for a treat. Never in my life did I see so many non golf equipment items be used for golf.

For starters, no one had a pair of golf shoes on. Not that golf shoes are absolutely necessary but, and I s#@$ you not, one guy had work boots on and his buddy was wearing football cleats. It gets better, Johnny Unitas over there also had an Under Armour receiver glove on and on top of that we over heard him swearing it was better than any golf glove. Hey, whatever floats your boat.

Ok, so you want to explore other options when it comes to golf equipment. Fine. Although, there comes a point where I draw the line especially when it comes to safety. One of the guys in front of us steps up to the tee box and that’s where I noticed the duct tape holding his club head on. Come on, are you kidding me! Old or not, at least have a set of proper clubs. Luckily, no one felt the wrath of the flying club head, which by the way did come off. Ah yes, the tennis shoe crowd.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!! Don’t run with the crowd…

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: golf, golf equipment, golf stinks, golfstinks, golfstinks glossary, tennis shoe crowd, Under Armour

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