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How to Leverage Your “Honey Do” List for Golf

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Go about your to-do list the right way and you could play golf too!

It’s that time of year again! The days are getting longer; the flowers are blooming; and the temps are rising! You know what that means!

  • The garage needs cleaning
  • The attic needs organizing
  • The lawn needs mowing
  • The garden needs weeding
  • The steps need fixing
  • The fence needs mending
  • The shutters need painting

Yep, springtime isn’t only about golf – that “honey do” list has been growing since last fall. It’s a rather cruel twist of fate that we’ve been pent-up for the last several months, chomping at the bit to get out on the links and once we are able to; the rest of our life also realizes winter break is over too.

If you own a home and play golf, you know what I’m talking about. If you’re married; own a home; play golf; and your spouse doesn’t: You really know what I’m talking about.

If you live in a climate where golf is forced to have an off-season, you know the anticipation building up all winter long. In fact, the only thing on your mind in mid-January is probably golf. We go to the indoor range, but it’s not the same. Nope – nothing beats that first warm day out on a real course.

So come Spring, the first thing on your to-do list is put the clubs in the trunk and get out on the links. Unfortunately, golf isn’t the first thing on your spouse’s list. There are a plethora of other chores on that list that I can assure you haven’t been thinking about. Thus, frustration ensues.

The problem with frustration is it inevitably turns into a fight. And when you’re married, you can fight over anything – especially if it’s something stupid (like organizing the attic).

But it’s possible to avoid the fight and still get to play golf. It’s simple: You use the to-do list as leverage to go play golf. Now don’t get me wrong – I don’t want you to barter for golf with chores. I want you to go about this wisely while keeping your spouse none-the-wiser.

The key is to accept the fact that you have things to do around the house and start on them right away. Be very transparent about the whole thing – for example, post the to-do list on the fridge and cross things off as you accomplish them. Do not, I repeat, do not rush out to the course and promise to finish everything when you get back (we both know that will never happen anyway). Instead, you must sacrifice golf now, to play more golf later.

On the first beautiful Saturday this Spring, don’t head to the course. You’re going to mention that your golfing buddies wanted you to play 18, but instead, you are going to wake up early and get going on that fence (or the garage, or whatever). Work hard at accomplishing this – spend all day if you have to. On Sunday, work on the attic – again, spend all day if necessary.

With two big tasks crossed off the list, gently remind your spouse during the week about how hard you worked on them and how great the garage, fence or attic looks now. Around Wednesday or Thursday, mention that your golfing buddies want to play 18 again this coming Saturday, but you’ll have to think about it since the shutters need painting.

Now here’s where you really get to know who you’re married to. A good spouse should say something like: “Oh don’t worry about it. You missed playing last week and worked so hard on the house, you should leave the shutters for next weekend and go play.” Then you’re in like Flynn. You know you’ll be able to play golf every other weekend as long as you spend some time being productive on the home front (and the tasks go faster if there’s incentive to play golf the following weekend).

Of course, if your spouse is a slave driver and takes issue with you playing any golf before the honey do list is completed, then you should suggest a compromise – you work on the list one weekend and play golf the next (which is the same result as above, except you didn’t have to negotiate anything there).

But if they’re adamant that you complete the list before golf can begin, then you may have to bite the bullet and get working. Or, you can always start looking for divorce lawyers and try a singles golfer network. As the old joke goes: “My wife said if I don’t quit golf, she’s going to divorce me…God I’m going to miss her.”

Stinky Golfer Greg has been married for 10 years and owns a home. Of course, in no way, shape or form does this make him qualified to be giving marital advice. As such, his views and opinions do not necessarily reflect those of GolfStinks.com – unless your significant other won’t let you play golf at all…in which case we say divorce is probably inevitable.

Hey! I’m Trying to Relax Over Here!

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The freaking work week is grueling, isn’t it? Take yesterday for example; I boot up my computer at 9AM and the next thing I know it’s 5:30PM and I haven’t even had lunch yet. Sure, the day goes by fast when you’re busy, but come on!

Like you, I have a regular, 40+ hour a week job in a field unrelated to golf. All day I’m on the phone with internal sales people and external clients talking about statistics, quotes and contract parameters. I’m a public relations consultant at a large media relations firm trying to help corporate communicators do their job better. And, as you may have been able to tell, a good portion of my day is spent trying to win new business.

Not sure how many of you are in sales, but man – it’s hectic. So hectic, in fact, that a Friday evening doesn’t mean it’s time for fun, as much as it means I have two days “off” before I have to work on Monday.

Thus in my world (and probably for many of you too), the weekends are for relaxing. Now, with a family and a home, obviously I can’t relax the entire two days, but I try to unwind whenever I can – and many times this comes in the form of golf.

Out on the course, it’s just me, the ball, my clubs and the course (this is starting to sound like The Legend of Bagger Vance). But seriously, with golf, I can simplify my life. My objective is clear: To relax. And if I don’t play well, it doesn’t matter. Nope – I’m just content to be out on the course. OK, I know what you’re thinking: “Sure, everyone says that after a bad round.” But I really mean it – I want to play well, but if I don’t, it really doesn’t matter – to me, it’s all about relaxing.

But this doesn’t mean I don’t get mad out on the course, no sir. One of my biggest peeves is someone taking themselves way too seriously during a friendly round. Like the guy who swears up and down after an errant shot. Seriously? Or the person who throws their club in frustration after a double bogey. Really? I want to yell out: “Hey! I’m trying to relax over here!”

I love the people who hit one bad shot and it ruins their entire round – I mean, why do they even finish all 18 holes? If these people hit one into the pond on the second hole, they should immediately head back to the parking lot, put their clubs in the trunk and drive home. But do they? Nope. They continue on in misery for the next 16 holes and I have to listen to them complain the entire time. WTF?

Look, all I’m asking is if you’re frustrated about the way you’re playing, please keep it to yourself. I understand some people wear their emotions on their sleeve, but let’s try to show a little self control here folks.

Golf is supposed to be fun and believe it or not, some of us are out there to relax and unwind. We don’t want to play with the guy who thinks he belongs on tour and is irate over not breaking 100 that day (he really expects us to take him seriously after saying: “I don’t know what happened – I usually shoot in the 70’s”).

What ever happened to just enjoying your round? Do we really need to witness you kicking the golf cart’s guts in with your soft spikes just because you left a 3-foot putt short? Talk about giving yourself high blood pressure – you labor all week and then have to deal with this crap on your day off?

Sigh. But I digress. And for good reason too – I’ve got work in the morning!

EWGA: Give Back, Have Fun, Play Golf

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In a world dominated by male sports, golf these days is typically a game that transcends the sexes. For example, the LPGA has done a somewhat decent job of reminding us that women do indeed play golf. But their not the only organization helping promote the game for ladies – there’s also the EWGA.

The EWGA (Executive Women’s Golf Association) has been connecting business and professional women to golf for over 20 years and has built a vast sisterhood of members across not only the United States, but also Canada and Italy to boot.

And the association knows how to have fun – their biggest event of the year, Golfpalooza, is being held in Vegas this year (former LPGA star Lorena Ochoa will not only be in attendance, but she will also be receiving the EWGA’s leadership award).

But this isn’t just mindless fun – the organization’s charity arm (EWGA Foundation) helps young girls develop their golf skills and aids women over 30 to further their education and careers. In addition, the EWGA Foundation organizes the donation of golf equipment to those less fortunate.

With all this charity, you would think it’s hard for EWGA members to actually be out on the course, but it’s the exact opposite. For example, the EWGA has its own championship tournament. In fact, the EWGA Championship is the largest women’s amateur golf tournament of its kind – it begins through a qualifier in your local chapter and then moving on to the regionals and finally to the championship, featuring women from all over the country (in 2011, it was in Palm Desert, CA).

I actually used to work with Mrs. Lisa Edmonds, who won the low net, 2nd flight championship a couple years ago in Madison, WI. I had a chance to speak with Lisa recently and asked her to sum-up what her experience has been like as an EWGA member:

“I joined the EWGA back in 2003 so I would have the opportunity to play golf with more women [and] my experience has been nothing but positive…Each EWGA chapter is run exclusively by volunteers, and if you join and lend a hand whenever you can, I am sure you will not be disappointed! The companionship, laughter, golf and more golf, lifetime connections and friendship you experience by being an involved member of the EWGA is more than worth the price of membership. As they say – New set of Callaway Irons – $699, Box of Lady Precept Balls – $20, Round of golf at your local golf club – $48, cost of EWGA membership and volunteering at one of our events – PRICELESS!”
– Lisa Edmonds, Secretary – EWGA Fairfield County CT Chapter

The enthuesastic way Lisa speaks about the EWGA inspired me to write this post – after all, here’s a hard-working professional who’s extremely passionate about golf and the EWGA allows her to truly embrace that passion.

And that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? Being able to embrace the things you’re passionate about – regardless of if you excel at them or not. The EWGA not only helps women do that, but it also lets women discover why golf is one of the greatest games of all time: Camaraderie, competitiveness and a whole lot of fun.

5 Reasons They Quit Golf

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Golf Hole From Hell
Sometimes they all feel this way… (photo by Greg D’Andrea)

As much as I love this game, there was a time when I thought about giving it up.

Even though I snapped-out-of-it and rediscovered my passion for golf, others don’t. Why?

Golf is too Hard
Perhaps the most common reason is that golf is simply too hard. But is it too hard or are they just too lazy? Last year, I penned a guest post for a popular golf blog in which I asked if we’re too lazy to get better at golf. Here’s an excerpt:

Practice makes perfect…Or so the saying goes. What that little phrase fails to articulate is how much practice it actually takes to make things perfect. Throw in an impossibly difficult sport like golf and attaining perfection becomes perfectly ridiculous. Now don’t get me wrong, there are a select few who not only have the raw talent to be great at golf, but also have the drive to spend countless hours on the range or putting green practicing…But I’m not one of them. And I surmise not many of you are either. As far as I’m concerned: I’m just too lazy to work that hard at something I’m never going to make a living at in the first place.

Yeah, golf is hard. And some people have the guts to deal with that reality and enjoy golf anyway, while others don’t.

They Hate Golf
So they tried it and hated it – meh, it happens. But how could you possibly hate a game as great as this? Well, I wrote about that also – in fact, I provided 5 reasons why people hate golf. Enjoy.

A Serious Injury
Let’s face it, you would have to be in a good amount of pain to give up on a sport like golf, but it happens. Be it your back, or knees, or in my case, my foot knocked me out for a couple months – there are reasons people are forced to give up this game. Sometimes the pain makes quitting unavoidable, but other times, it can be downright inspirational. And how a returning Vet who lost a leg can take up golf is both inspirational and remarkable. Makes my foot pain look rather pathetic, actually.

They Stink
This is different than golf being too hard. When people quit because the game is too hard, it’s typically because they’ve recently started playing and realize they don’t have the time or patience to get better. But when people quit because they stink, it’s typically because they are pompous asses.

For example, do you know a golf buddy who can’t stand it that you win all the time? You know – they guy who makes everything a competition, but get him out on the golf course and he’s less than stellar? Not being able to live with the fact that he’s not as good as you at something, he quits golf never to return. Now there’s a guy that takes himself way too seriously – and believe me, those people are out there!

They Lose the Will to Golf
What? Well, if you were reading this blog a couple months ago, you would know all about losing the will to golf. When we dig way down into our psyche, we realize that passions can, for one reason or another, simply burn out. There can be several causes for this. In my case, an extended lack in playing time, coupled with a shift in priorities, triggered the feeling that golf was no longer an important part of my life. While I have since come to my senses, I’m sure there are others (perhaps those who were never really passionate about the game in the first place) who will simply walk away from the sport because golf just doesn’t matter all that much.

I certainly hope you never quit golf – especially because you stink, or because it’s too hard. If we writers of the Golf Stinks Blog accomplish anything, it’s to convey you don’t have to be good at something to love it. And I certainly hope you aren’t forced to give it up due to an injury or perhaps worse, lose the will to play altogether. It’s true that golf is not for everyone…but if you love it, you know what keeps you coming back.

Anxious for the New Season? Attend a Golf Show!

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For many golfers in northern parts of the United States, this time of year can be the most frustrating. You can see the light at the end of a long, cold, off season, but mid-April never seems to arrive fast enough.

So to help cope with that last month or so before the new season starts, I recommend a trip to the closest golf expo. About a year ago, a few golf buddies and I attended the Connecticut Golf Show. This is where Stinky Golf Chris and I were first introduced to holographic balance wristbands.

While the bands were met with mixed reviews (Chris felt his helped, while I felt mine did not), it sure was fun talking (and dreaming) about how a little silicon wristband could help your golf game! That’s the thing with golf shows – there’s a treasure-trove of ideas for the upcoming season.

Let’s take golf balls for example; As you may know, I’m a bit of an eco-friendly guy. So when I spotted the Dr. Mulligan’s booth, I was intrigued. I’ve know about refurbished (or recycled) golf balls, but assumed they were not up to the quality of new balls. No so. I purchased two-dozen Nike One balls just on looks alone. At $20 a dozen, that was a steal. But what about the playability? Yep – that was up-to-snuff too. I couldn’t tell the difference between the used and new ones.

Another golf buddy purchased one of the magnetic wristbands at one booth, while we all stepped into the long-drive simulator. There was a long-putt contest where if you sunk it, you won a free round a golf (this year there’s a marshmallow chip shot contest); a row of hitting bays to test-out the latest gear; and a cigar booth that will supply your next tournament with not only cigars, but pretty ladies to sell them!

Of course, there are tons of golf resorts offering great deals on stay-and-play packages (and many had a raffle going for a free weekend). Even if you don’t win, it gets the travel juices flowing for this summer’s golf trip.

So don’t sit at home anxious to start the season, find a golf show near you to attend. And a show in a big city isn’t necessarily a better show either – for example, I’ve been to the NYC golf show (in Madison Square Garden) and it was rather pathetic compared to the one up here in Connecticut. Even the show up in Boston (New England Golf Expo), was on par with the one here in CT. So no need to travel far – the one closest to you should suffice in scratching that golf itch.

So while I probably won’t be out on the links yet in March, I am excited about attending the golf show – hey, the 30 bucks I save on balls will make up for the $30 I blow on another golf gimmick!

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