GolfStinks

A Golf Blog for the Rest of Us!

Make More Time For Golf

| By | 1 Comment

thVYDG9HBMOne of the reasons (among many) that I don’t golf as much as I’d like is simply because I don’t have the time.  I don’t mean the time required to play a round – I don’t really care if that takes five or six hours.  I mean the time to get out to the course at all!  Between all of the commitments required in everyday life, golf has taken a backseat.  And that’s been no more apparent than during this season.  I have played exactly one 18-hole round this year.  One!  How can I even call myself a golfer with that in mind?!  Well, there are things that we can do to make time…and believe me, they’ve all crossed my mind at some point.

1. Quit your job.  Several years ago, I was laid off from my place of employment.  It was a sad time.  My boss clearly didn’t want to do it, but tough decisions had to be made.  As he shook my hand and told me how sorry he was, I said to him “Don’t worry about it.  I understand and I’ll be fine.  This just gives me a little more time to play golf.”  And that it did.  It’s amazing how much free time is made when you don’t have to go to work.  In hindsight, I probably should have been saving that money due to the whole “no job” thing.  But hey, hindsight is 20/20, and at the time it seemed like a good idea.

2. Take a leave from your job.  OK, maybe taking a leave to play golf is not necessarily the best idea I’ve ever had.  However, hear me out.  I know someone who worked their behind off for quite a while.  He saved up a bunch of loot and took six months off to travel around Europe.  Now that’s something which, to me, seems worth taking some time off of work.  That’s something most people will never have the chance to do at any point in their lives.  And here he was doing it in his 20’s.  So if you can save the money and get the time, that can be turned into an extended golf trip.  Travel around the country or the world, playing your dream courses!  Again, if you have the means…it seems worth it.

3.  Married?  Don’t be.  First off, I am not suggesting you get divorced so you can play more golf.  I mean, what kind of an a-hole would ever suggest that?  What kind of jerk would suggest throwing a marriage away so you can hit the links more often?  Now, with that being said…marriages and families do seem to take time away from the course.  If golf is more important to you than a spouse and a family…don’t get married, don’t have kids.  Speaking from experience, your free weekends will quickly no longer be free.  Speaking further from experience…I will soon see if this free time actually is made.

OK, so there are my ideas.  I didn’t say they were realistic ideas.  But ideas nonetheless.  Either way, we all want to play more golf and we all need to figure out how to do it.  Lord knows I do.  Again…one 18-hole round this season?  By mid-August?  I’m on the edge of no longer being able to call myself a golfer.  I’m becoming just a guy who plays golf on occasion.

Swing ’til you’re happy!   

How to Leverage Your “Honey Do” List for Golf

| By | 1 Comment

Go about your to-do list the right way and you could play golf too!

It’s that time of year again! The days are getting longer; the flowers are blooming; and the temps are rising! You know what that means!

  • The garage needs cleaning
  • The attic needs organizing
  • The lawn needs mowing
  • The garden needs weeding
  • The steps need fixing
  • The fence needs mending
  • The shutters need painting

Yep, springtime isn’t only about golf – that “honey do” list has been growing since last fall. It’s a rather cruel twist of fate that we’ve been pent-up for the last several months, chomping at the bit to get out on the links and once we are able to; the rest of our life also realizes winter break is over too.

If you own a home and play golf, you know what I’m talking about. If you’re married; own a home; play golf; and your spouse doesn’t: You really know what I’m talking about.

If you live in a climate where golf is forced to have an off-season, you know the anticipation building up all winter long. In fact, the only thing on your mind in mid-January is probably golf. We go to the indoor range, but it’s not the same. Nope – nothing beats that first warm day out on a real course.

So come Spring, the first thing on your to-do list is put the clubs in the trunk and get out on the links. Unfortunately, golf isn’t the first thing on your spouse’s list. There are a plethora of other chores on that list that I can assure you haven’t been thinking about. Thus, frustration ensues.

The problem with frustration is it inevitably turns into a fight. And when you’re married, you can fight over anything – especially if it’s something stupid (like organizing the attic).

But it’s possible to avoid the fight and still get to play golf. It’s simple: You use the to-do list as leverage to go play golf. Now don’t get me wrong – I don’t want you to barter for golf with chores. I want you to go about this wisely while keeping your spouse none-the-wiser.

The key is to accept the fact that you have things to do around the house and start on them right away. Be very transparent about the whole thing – for example, post the to-do list on the fridge and cross things off as you accomplish them. Do not, I repeat, do not rush out to the course and promise to finish everything when you get back (we both know that will never happen anyway). Instead, you must sacrifice golf now, to play more golf later.

On the first beautiful Saturday this Spring, don’t head to the course. You’re going to mention that your golfing buddies wanted you to play 18, but instead, you are going to wake up early and get going on that fence (or the garage, or whatever). Work hard at accomplishing this – spend all day if you have to. On Sunday, work on the attic – again, spend all day if necessary.

With two big tasks crossed off the list, gently remind your spouse during the week about how hard you worked on them and how great the garage, fence or attic looks now. Around Wednesday or Thursday, mention that your golfing buddies want to play 18 again this coming Saturday, but you’ll have to think about it since the shutters need painting.

Now here’s where you really get to know who you’re married to. A good spouse should say something like: “Oh don’t worry about it. You missed playing last week and worked so hard on the house, you should leave the shutters for next weekend and go play.” Then you’re in like Flynn. You know you’ll be able to play golf every other weekend as long as you spend some time being productive on the home front (and the tasks go faster if there’s incentive to play golf the following weekend).

Of course, if your spouse is a slave driver and takes issue with you playing any golf before the honey do list is completed, then you should suggest a compromise – you work on the list one weekend and play golf the next (which is the same result as above, except you didn’t have to negotiate anything there).

But if they’re adamant that you complete the list before golf can begin, then you may have to bite the bullet and get working. Or, you can always start looking for divorce lawyers and try a singles golfer network. As the old joke goes: “My wife said if I don’t quit golf, she’s going to divorce me…God I’m going to miss her.”

Stinky Golfer Greg has been married for 10 years and owns a home. Of course, in no way, shape or form does this make him qualified to be giving marital advice. As such, his views and opinions do not necessarily reflect those of GolfStinks.com – unless your significant other won’t let you play golf at all…in which case we say divorce is probably inevitable.

Golf and A Wife: A Tale of Three Women In One (Part 1)

| By | Leave a Comment

todo-list-297195_640Is your wife the type who hates when you head out for a day of golf with your buddies? Maybe she’s the type who doesn’t mind when you golf and, often times, is happy to see you get the hell out of the house? Or…is she the type who would like nothing more than to head to the course with you? If you can narrow it down, then lucky you. My situation is a little different. Depending upon the day, and I’m still working on how exactly to read it, my wife could be any one of those three!

It’s amazing to meet a person who can look at an activity such as golf and, all in the same thought, think “It’s a boring, pointless and stupid sport. You should go play today. Can I go with you?” What the hell?! So in this ball of confusion, today we’re going to explore wife #1 – The wife who hates when I golf.

Did you ever notice there is always something to do? Did you ever notice there is just not enough time in the day? Did you ever notice that, no matter how hard you try, you just can’t finish the things that need to be done and there’s always more to do tomorrow? Don’t be fooled. None of this is true. The reason you feel this way is because of your wife! She makes things up and tricks you into believing you are too busy to go golfing! Don’t fall for it! It’s a trap! There is always tomorrow to get things done. And if tomorrow never comes, then what did it matter if the garage was cleaned anyway?

Maybe your wife uses the “we don’t spend enough time together” excuse when you want to disappear for an entire Saturday. I don’t get it. I just spent the past, physician-recommended, eight hours right next to her! As a matter of fact, I’ve done that almost every night for the past few years! But she doesn’t think this meets the criteria to be considered “quality time.” But somehow, wandering the halls of the local mall with the other zombies and their wives does. You wanna explain that? You can’t, can you? Well enough trying to explain, it’s time to act.

The next time your wife wants to get her hair or nails done, remind her that she wanted to rearrange the bedroom or living room furniture and today would be the perfect day to get that done. When you finish that up, mention the kitchen that she was so anxious to get painted. I would be willing to bet those things could be put on hold now.

As far as the quality time thing goes…I’m all for spending quality time with the wife. It’s of vital importance to your marriage. So when she mentions it, you should appease her. Get on the computer, purchase some tickets to the game (any game really – baseball, football, basketball, hockey…) and take her along. Explain to her this is something you would normally do with your friends, but you’re having a much better time with her and look forward to doing it again next Saturday! The teams logo painted from your chest down to your gut which is jiggling while you wildly wave your shirt over your head is a nice touch. She should get the point.

I figure there are two ways this can go for you:

#1 – She gets the picture and you can golf often enough to keep you satisfied. Don’t push it though or you may end up with…
#2 – She is so infuriated with your lack of compassion for her needs and she wants a divorce. 99% of the time, divorce is bad. I do not endorse divorce.

However, and you didn’t hear this from me, it will free up your Saturdays.

Questions / Advertise

info@golfstinks.com

Disclaimers

See here

Privacy Policy

See here