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What is Golf Art?

January 18, 2012 | By Greg D'Andrea | 2 Comments

My post last week about that golf bag telephone really got me thinking about why these golf nicknacks are created in the first place. And then it occurred to me that these things are, technically speaking anyhow, a form of art.

A telephone in the shape of a golf bag is art you say?

My wife has a BFA (Bachelor of Fine Arts). She’s always said; “if the person who created it calls it art, then it’s art.” It doesn’t matter if it’s just a canvas splattered with paint shot out of a cannon at 500 paces – if the guy lighting the canon fuse calls it art, then we’re perfectly justified in hanging it on our wall.

So let’s get back to my golf bag telephone for a second. Pat from New York (who emailed me to win said phone last week) considers it art, even though I didn’t. He plans on displaying it in his house with pride. And for Pat, it’s not just static art, but it’s functional art too (after all, it’s a phone to boot). Pour yourself a glass of wine, pull up a chair and admire it, Pat!

But let’s face it, when we think about golf, we think about things like the tours, or courses, or clubs & balls. When we think about the golf industry, apparel and equipment retailers come to mind. But we forget that this multi-billion dollar industry includes a place for art too. And I’m not just talking about the golf bag telephone anymore.

Take a look at the images below:


That, my friends, is golf art. I spied those at a touristy-type store in the historic district of Albuquerque. Both are created using golf things (parts of a club, a ball, tees – even the crown on the bird’s head in the top photo is pieces of a soft spike)! It takes a certain breed to put those kinds of tchotchkes in your home, and I’m not among them. But you can’t deny, it’s art.

Of course, art also includes paintings and there is no shortage of golf paintings out there – observe the two distinctly different ones below:

My eye was drawn to painting on top, while my wife (the artist) chose the one on the bottom as being attractive.

And what about the subject in the aforementioned paintings – the courses. Are they not art in and of themselves? Walking down a quiet fairway on a perfect day – as far as I’m concerned, when you’re on the golf course, you’re surrounded in amazing art. The way the green distinguishes itself from the fairway and rough; the gorgeous vista from the tee; a ball that softly landed a foot from the cup – to me, this is all art – and I’m sure the course designer considered it as much. Heck, one could argue that the new forged wedge in my bag is a work of art! (OK, maybe I’m getting a little carried away).

But let’s try to answer my original question: What is golf art? Perhaps an appropriate way to answer that would be to rearrange the question into a statement…

Golf is art.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: art, course, crafts, golf, golf stinks, golfstinks, painting, tchotchkes

What To Do With Your Crappy Golf Gifts?

January 11, 2012 | By Greg D'Andrea | 2 Comments

It happens every Christmas without fail…Someone (typically a non-golfer) will give me a crappy, useless golf gift that will just clutter-up my attic. Oh, they mean well, but they should know better.

“But my co-worker (or neighbor, or cousin or concubine) loves golf. Why shouldn’t I buy them that little desktop golfer figurine with the plaid pants?”

I think the answer is obvious: Because regardless of if they like golf or not, a little golfer figurine for your office is just plain stupid.

For me, this past holiday was no different (see photo below).

golf bag telephone

Yes, that is what it looks like: A golf bag telephone. Let me restate that: A foot and a half tall golf bag telephone. OK, I know what you’re thinking; It’s the thought that counts.

But seriously, where am I supposed to put that thing? First off, I don’t even have a home phone line, so actually using it is out. Secondly, even if I could use it, there’d be no space left on my desk to do any work!

So what should I do with it? Is there a place you can send all your kitsch to have it recycled? If only.

I ran across a mommy blogger complaining about holiday tchotchkes she received as gifts and one commenter suggested to donate the stuff to Goodwill. That’s actually not a bad idea – I’ll bet someone will get excited over this thing.

Of course, there are a plethora of golfers who read this blog. Perhaps one of you can use this to complete that golf-themed den you’ve been working on for the past 10 years?

So here’s the deal: Email me at greg@golfstinks.com if you want this phone (include your snail mail address)! If I get multiple requests (doubtful, but you never know) then I’ll randomly choose someone. If I don’t get any requests (entirely plausible), then it’s off to the Goodwill.

Upon which, one of my crazy aunts will probably stumble across it, buy it and re-gift it to me for next Christmas.

A few notes on this phone: It didn’t come in a box, so there are no instructions. And since I don’t have a landline, I haven’t actually checked that it works. It seems to be in rather good condition though. Hey, what do you want for free?

**UPDATE! Congrats to Pat from New York – he was one of several people (believe it or not) interested in owning the golf bag telephone! According to Pat, the phone is going to reside in his “downstairs recreation area.” Enjoy it Pat – obviously you’ll get more use out of it than I would have!**

Filed Under: Golf Life Tagged With: christmas, golf bag telephone, golf gifts

When Golf & Skiing Tied the Knot

December 21, 2011 | By Greg D'Andrea | 1 Comment

DCP_4332
Okemo Valley Golf Club (photo by Greg D’Andrea)

As we push into late December, I’m constantly reminded (via radio, TV and billboard advertisements) that besides being the holiday season, it’s also skiing season. Here in New England, the prime ski location is Vermont – and one such ski mecca in the Green Mountain State is a place called Okemo.

Okemo’s advertisements are everywhere – images of snowboarders getting major air on a halfpipe or a family of four gliding cheerfully down a picturesque slope. But this excitement conjures up nada in me. Nope, when I hear the name “Okemo” I immediately think summertime and envision one of the top golf courses in Vermont.

In case you haven’t guessed, I’m not a skier. I’ve never been skiing and have never really had any desire to attempt it. But the irony is, I’ve been to some awesome ski resorts. Let’s take Okemo as an example – what was once a name only recognizable by skiers, now boasts several accolades…for golf:

  • Best Public Course in Vermont, 2006 Golfweek
  • Top 50 Courses in America, 2003 Golf For Women
  • Top Modern Club in Vermont, Golfweek
  • Best New Course in America nominee, Golf Digest

When you think about it, it makes sense to put a golf course at a ski resort. But what’s interesting is golfing at ski resorts is a relatively new phenomenon. According to the April/May 2011 edition of Cigar Aficionado, turning a ski resort into a year-round attraction is big business – for both the resort and the surrounding towns:

All of the big ski resort operators such as Intrawest, Aspen Skiing Co., Vail Resorts and Boyne Resorts, along with many smaller peers, have turned their focus from selling lift tickets to selling real estate. To do this, they have had to offer more than just skiing. The new mountain town mantra is “lifestyle,” and for more than a decade, once sleepy or even chichi ski towns have been busy repositioning themselves as year-round centers of sport and culture, building performing arts centers, sushi bars, bike trails, village centers, parks, ziplines and, most of all, golf courses.

To me this is extremely smart. Not just because of the obvious (that you can stay open year-round), but because I feel golfers and skiers are cut from a different cloth. Sure there may be some overlap, but for the most part, skiers are adventurers, while golfers are more pragmatic. Economically, this is a brilliant marriage, because the ski resort is not only reaching more people, but also reaching different types of people.

But the golfers have it slightly better (as the Cigar Aficionado article acknowledges):

[Ski towns] are famous around the globe and synonymous with luxury vacation hospitality, but even in ski season, most of their appeal and most of the time spent by visitors is off the slopes. All of these ancillary benefits, from fine dining to five-star lodging, can still be enjoyed in golf season, though without the crowds—and usually at much more reasonable prices.

And this is true – my experience playing at ski resort courses has always been great golf, at a great price, in a relaxed and quite atmosphere. Of course, as more people begin realizing these ski resort golf courses are out there, the more busy they will become.

But for now, the fact that these places have two very distinct atmospheres (depending on when you visit) will remain intact. For example, when you click on Okemo’s website during the winter, you don’t even realize they have a golf course! It’s as if they’re marketing department has recognized the two clientele are complete opposites.

Click on that same URL in the summer, and the golf course takes center stage. I’ve actually had conversations with skiers who mention Okemo and I’ll say something like “Oh, I love Okemo!” And they’ll look at me rather puzzled – they’ll ask: “I thought you didn’t ski?”

I guess the marketing is working.

Filed Under: Golf Destinations, The Economics of Golf Tagged With: aspen, cigar aficionado, okemo, ski resort, Vermont

10 Questions with a Non-Golfer

December 7, 2011 | By Greg D'Andrea | 1 Comment

Here at the Golf Stinks blog, we certaintly do our part in blaming the pro tours and the media for sending the wrong message about this fantastic sport.

And, while acknowledging the economy is a major factor, we still highlight things that the golf industry can do to help drive new people to the game (I’d normally add a link here to prove my point, but we’ve literally written so much, it will be easier for you to just look at our archive section in the right-hand sidebar).

That all being said, I thought it would be interesting to talk with a non-golfer about their perceptions of the sport. I wonder if many of the golf stereotypes are true? To that end, my brother-in-law happens to be in town and I know he’s never played golf before.

Let’s see what a 30-year-old non-golfer has to say about…well, golf:

Q: What type of person plays golf?
A: Retired. Retirees. And anybody else that has a lot of money and a lot of free time.

Interviewer’s note: Why am I not surprised by this answer?

Q: Do you think a person has to be rich to play golf?
A: Maybe not rich, but you definitely have to have…It’s an expensive hobby. Golf clubs aren’t cheap. Courses aren’t cheap. I think probably the cheapest thing about golf would be buying the balls.

Q: When someone mentions they play golf, what’s the first thought that pops into your head?
A: I picture them in golf clothes – especially like those knickers and that hat with the poof on top.

Interviewer’s note: I’m never telling anyone I play golf again.

Q: When you hear the name Tiger Woods, what comes to mind?
A: Sell-out. I think of all his merchandise, video games. I mean, I’m sure he’s a good golfer and all, but his stuff is is everywhere.

Q: As a follow-up to that, what about the Tiger sex scandal?
A: It’s no different than any other celeb…he was married; boinked around, blah, blah, blah…same old story.

Interviewer’s note: Well put.

Q: OK, so we know you don’t play golf. Have you ever held a club?
A: Yeah, at the mini golf course.

Q: So you’ve played mini golf – what are your impressions of that?
A: I like it. I have fond memories of hitting a ball off a couple of walls into a giant plastic castle.

Interviewer’s note: This is why Caddyshack 2 sucked.

Q: You’ve mentioned you know the basic terms and rules in other sports like [American] football and baseball. Do you think you have a basic understanding of golf’s terms and rules? Please elaborate.
A: Yeah. Get the ball in the hole in as few hits as possible and always play the ball where it lies.

Interviewer’s note: “Always play the ball where it lies.” At what point did we weekend golfers stop following the very fundamentals of this game? Be honest…

Q: Do you know what a birdie means in golf?
A: That’s when you make it in the hole with …[pause]… with one stroke fewer than par [looks at interviewer unsure of himself].

Interviewer: That’s very good!
Non-Golfer: And I only know that from all the video games.
Interviewer: I see. The ones with Tiger Woods you mean?
Non-Golfer: Yeah [laughs].

Q: Do you think golf courses are a waste of natural resources and/or prime real estate?
A: No, because if a golf course fails, it can be easily converted into a very scenic park.

Interviewer’s note: I’m totally going to use that answer.

Q: Would you ever consider taking up golf?
A: I have [thought about it], but I always figured it would be when I was older – when [I have] nothing to do and [I] need exercise.

Interviewer’s note: So to this non-golfer, we’re a bunch of old rich guys with nothing to do and who need exercise. Hmmmm. When you think about it, that pretty much hits every golf stereotype on the head. I think I should interview other non-golfers and see if the answers are similar. Till then…

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: caddyshack 2, golf, golf stinks, golfstinks, non-golfer, old, questions, retired, rich, sex, tiger woods

Sorry, Biodegradable Balls Only on the PGA Tour

November 30, 2011 | By Greg D'Andrea | Leave a Comment

100_0231Going Green. Does that phrase make you giddy with excitement or make you roll your eyes in disgust? I don’t need to take a survey to tell you there are those who believe in taking steps to lessen our environmental footprint and those who believe this whole green movement is a giant bowel movement.

Regardless of which side of the fence you’re on, if you’re a golfer you should listen up. Right now, there’s an organized group petitioning the USGA and R&A (Royal & Ancient Golf Club) to begin addressing environmental concerns in regards to golf – namely on the pro tours (PGA, European Tour, etc.).

If the petition grows legs, it could mean rule changes (something no one ever seems to welcome) and changes in the equipment we use. But will these changes be a bad thing, an unnecessary thing or a step in the right direction?

The petition began over at Golf Refugees, a golf apparel brand out of the UK. The company prides itself on producing eco-friendly clothes and products and decided to petition the powers that be in golf to begin “incorporating greener measures into the sport’s guidelines.”

So far, they’ve received a “we will consider your input in due course” letter back from the R&A, but basically what Golf Refugees wants is this:

  • Golf balls need to be biodegradable
  • Golf apparel needs to made from materials which are recycled and or compostable.
  • All golf courses need to have compost toilets and minimal water, pesticide and fertiliser usage.

Golf Refugees owner Peter Gorse states:

“…the governing bodies of golf [should] consider introducing ‘eco golf rules’ over a reasonable time frame. I see no reason why major golf ball manufactures cannot introduce using recycling materials into their products over the next few years. These part-recycled golf balls should be the future tournament golf balls.”

My first reaction to Mr. Gorse’s crusade was that it’s impractical. Look (in case you don’t already know), I’m definitely on the “we need to reduce our environmental footprint” side of the fence (see my other eco-posts below). But the Golf Refugees petition seemed like an impossible goal.

Instead, I suggested to Mr. Gorse that he push for creating one “eco-tournament” annually on one of the pro tours. A tournament that’s played on a more eco-friendly course and players use recycled balls or tees or something. That to me seemed more feasible. But to request the USGA and R&A create blanket eco-rules for golf was a bit far-fetched in my opinion.

Maybe I’m not being a forward thinker? Is Mr. Grouse and the Golf Refugees idea completely insane? Will it just convolute the golf rule books and add costs to an already expensive game? I share Mr. Grouse’s ideology for green living, but I’m not sure if this petition will help or hurt an already struggling game.

Perhaps we have to start somewhere…

Filed Under: Health & Environment Tagged With: eco-friendly, environment, environmental, golf refugees, PGA, r&a

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