GolfStinks

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But I Want To Play 18 Holes!

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thObviously, I like playing golf.  That goes without saying.  But there’s something about playing only nine holes that leaves me feeling unfulfilled.  Of, course, I’m going to play nine when I have the opportunity, and I’ll be satisfied doing so.  But there’s a big difference between being satisfied and being happy.

Just due to work schedules, family commitments and life in general…time and finances don’t often allow for eighteen holes much anymore.  It seems that years ago, playing only nine was almost unheard of unless it was last minute or late afternoon before dusk.  But now, it’s just the opposite.  Nine holes has become the norm and eighteen has been reserved for special occasions and the like.  Honestly, it’s almost sad.  So last weekend, when the invitation to play eighteen was extended, finances be damned…I’m playing!

I don’t know why I accept it.  I’m not interested in two quarters of football.  I don’t want a baseball game to end after five innings.  If I’m playing a pickup game of basketball to twenty, we don’t stop after eleven!  Is it because of how long it takes to play eighteen holes?  Really?  I just don’t want to accept that as an excuse anymore.  Can we really not find the five hours once every couple of weeks to fit in a full round?  It seems we as golfers need to work better on our time management skills.

Look, we’re being duped by our families or significant others – does your wife/girlfriend cut their pedicure or hair appointments short?  Tell her she can only get one hand done this weekend.  Or she can only get her hair washed and blow-dried, but not cut this time.  That’s going to have to wait until two weekends from now.  We’re being duped by our jobs – I’m sure your boss makes the time to cut out early on occasion, right?  I’m sure your boss doesn’t work on the weekends as often as you, right?  Well why not tell him, “I’m only going to put in four hours today.”  Or “Sure, I’ll work on the weekend, but only on one day…you do the other.”

I don’t know.  I just enjoyed playing eighteen for only the second time this year.  It’s just uncalled for and needs to change.  And you know what?  Golf season is only half the year.  The other half, we don’t play at all…not even nine!  So I’m going to push for eighteen holes for as much as is left of this season.  And next year, I’m going to push for it again.  It needs to happen.  I need it to happen.

Swing ’til you’re happy!

Are You Missing Out By Playing Bargain Golf?

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thQFI0FBISOne of my favorite things about playing golf is the variety of the courses.  It’s not like other sports in that sense.  A football field is always 100 yards long, a baseball field (though the outfield dimensions can vary somewhat) is basically the same no matter where you play and a basketball court is like football – 94′ long and the baskets are 10′ high, always.  But golf is different that way.  Every course is unique.  Each course offers a different layout, different lengths, different hazards, fairway widths and green sizes.  And that’s just the course itself.  Play in different areas of the country and the scenery/views are different, the wildlife on the course changes…it’s a new experience at every different course.  So are you missing out on something by not playing a variety of different courses?  I think so.

I think of this because I’m friendly with a couple who play golf together.  But rather than get out and playing different courses and experiencing all of the different nuances of each one, they use websites such as Groupon, advertising specials at local courses.  Now I’m all for saving a few bucks and getting a good deal, but when those specials bring you to the same course three out of four times, I’m sorry but…you’re missing out.  At that point, if you’re looking for a deal and playing the same course that often, just become a member for crying out loud.

Again, I’m all for finding a good deal and package pricing, and I’ll do that with other purchases.  But when it comes to golf, I’ve never even considered it.  I want to play where I want to play.  I don’t drive a certain car because it was the best deal…I drive a car I want to drive.  I don’t go on vacation to wherever the cheapest airline tickets are…I go where I want to go.  I don’t play a specific golf course because of their “$48 for two people with a cart, after 1:00 pm on a Tuesday when there’s a full moon and the wind is blowing northeast at over 7 miles per hour” special.  Instead, I play the course I want to play.  Now, if there happens to be a special at that course, then great!  But I’m not basing whether I play it or not on a special.

Am I looking at this wrong?  Maybe I should just be happy that two more people are playing this game who wouldn’t be playing it otherwise.  But I more want to tell them “Yeah, I’ve played that course also…it ain’t that great…you should try playing (fill in course name here) instead.”  Would I be raining on their parade?  Or would I just be opening up their eyes to a new and better golfing experience?  Maybe we’ll just see what comes out of my mouth the next time they mention it to me…

Swing ’til you’re happy!

Did Dad Golf On Father’s Day?

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thIt’s probably not much of a stretch to figure that most of us golfing dads can’t think of many better Father’s Day gifts (within reason) than a trip out to the links.  Me included.  Whether it be playing a round with the kids, or them just giving you a vacation day from your usual fatherly duties and sending you on your way to the course.  Each year, that’s exactly what’s happened in my house.  I’d pack up the clubs with my boys, or they’d tell me to get the heck out of the house, play some golf, and either a nice home-cooked meal or reservations at one of my favorite restaurants would be awaiting me upon my return.

But this year we did things a little differently.  This year there was a new approach to the Father’s Day golf round.  This year, we didn’t play golf.  We took this Father’s Day off.  Instead, we played putt-putt golf the day before.  I slept in on Father’s Day morning.  I went out and did a few things I wanted to do, then came home and took a little nap on the couch while I watched a baseball game.  The kids woke me up when that nice home-cooked meal was ready.  I followed that by hitting the couch again waiting for game five of the NBA Finals to get underway.  Yup…I did almost nothing on Father’s Day….and it was wonderful.

Now, I’m not trying to start a new tradition here.  Just taking a well-deserved day off from everything.  Next Father’s Day…I’ll probably be back out there.  Actually, who am I kidding…I might take a day off this week and get out there to make up for not playing today!

Anyway, we here at Golfstinks really just want to take a minute to say Happy Father’s Day to all the deserving dads out there who could use a day off from their everyday lives.  If you didn’t play golf, hopefully you relaxed.  If you did play golf, hopefully you played well.  Although…what does that matter?  You were playing golf.  What better day to enjoy a day meant for you?

Swing ’til you’re happy!

You’re Not As Good At Golf As You Think

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slow-play-golfer…and the way you play doesn’t help.  It’s not that everyone doesn’t have a chance to be a good golfer.  Take it from me…I’m terrible.  But even I know that if I was to really take the time to practice, take lessons and basically play as much as possible, I could be a good golfer also.  But I’m not going to do any of that stuff.  I’m going to just play when I get a chance and not turn it into more than it is.  But there are too many others who have not yet accepted that reality.

What, or who, I’m talking about is the twosome I got stuck behind during my last round of golf.  A couple of guys playing at their local nine-hole course, putzing their way around, taking their sweet time…trying as hard as they can to look like the guys on TV.  Don’t they realize they are screwing it up for everyone, and possibly hurting themselves in the process?

I’ll start with the tee box and the fairway/rough.  The longer you hover over the ball, standing as still as possible, the more you are psyching yourself out.  Think of it as a baseball player standing in the batters box.  When the pitcher takes too long to throw the ball, the batter calls for time.  Why?  It gets uncomfortable just standing there.  The same is happening to you when you’re just standing on the tee box over your ball.  Plus, you’re pissing off the people behind you.

Moving onto the green, the same problem exists here.  However, we are also treated to a few moments worth of staring down the ball from every conceivable angle.  We start behind the ball,  then we walk around to the other side to make sure it looks the same.  Then, rather than a simple kneel-down, maybe we’ll add in the occasional “lie down on the green” behind the ball.  Once again, you are psyching yourself out.  And once again, you are pissing off the people behind you.

This all wouldn’t be so bad had the end result been a good shot.  But when I watch your drive sail clear off into the woods, followed by a couple of duck hooks and a three-putt…it’s time to change your approach.  This is the time to realize that golf, for most of us, is a game – no more, no less.  It shouldn’t be taken as seriously as you take it.  You shouldn’t rush it, but you shouldn’t waste time either.  And most of all, you shouldn’t piss off the people behind you.

Swing ’til you’re happy!

Mother’s Day Golf

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Well, I’ve said it a few times, and it remains true – Life gets in the way of golf.  This time, it’s Mother’s Day.  Now, please understand, I am in no way advocating blowing off your mom to go sneak in nine, or even eighteen holes.  I certainly didn’t, nor would I.  I’m just using it as an example to prove my point – there’s always something to pull you away from the course.  But maybe I’ve come up with a bit of a solution.  Maybe the trick simply is – If you can’t beat ’em, make ’em join you.

I remember when I was just a kid that my mother and father both had a set of golf clubs, but I never saw either of them actually go out to a course and play a round.  I once asked and they both said they gave it a try, but they just didn’t really care for the game.  So the clubs just hung from a wall in the garage for years until my mother finally sold them at a yard sale.  But maybe the time has come where I can try to get her to give it another try?  After all, she’s been retired for several years and is still pretty active.  A relaxing sport like golf, carts and all, may be worth a second look.

Ok…I think it’s clear what I’m doing here.  I have an ulterior motive and I’m probably not doing a very good job of hiding it.  As a matter of fact, I’m sure I’ve fooled no one.  Look, it’s not that I don’t want to celebrate Mother’s Day with my mom.  It’s not that I don’t want to gather with my family for brunch.  I love doing these things!  But you know what else I love doing?  Golfing on a glorious, cloudless, 78 degree, spring day.  See what I’m saying?

I’m thinking that if I can convince her to take up golf again, then I can spend time with her on Mother’s Day, still have that brunch that I love and get out on the course without feeing guilty.  How could I feel guilty if she’s right there with me?  Does this sound shady?  I have to admit, it does a little bit…even to me.  But on the other hand….you’re just jealous that I thought of it first.

Swing ’til you’re happy!

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