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The New Breed Of Golf Official

May 6, 2013 | By Chris Chirico | Leave a Comment

Imagine you’re watching a baseball game.  Let’s say it’s around the seventh inning or so, and the umpires suddenly call a timeout and gather in discussion off to the side of the field.  A few minutes later it’s announced that back in the fourth inning there was a balk that the umpires missed and the penalty needs to be enforced.  So now, the runners on second and third jam your pitcher got out of unscathed earlier is not to be.  The other team is awarded the run they would have had due to the runner on third base, and now it’s a whole new ball game.  Does this sound ridiculous?  Absolutely.  Now imagine how much more ridiculous it would sound if the umpires themselves had nothing to do with it.  Rather, someone watching the game on TV called it in.

As ridiculous as it sounds, we all know what happened with Tiger at The Masters.  But did you know it happened again this weekend?  That’s right, this time to Sergio Garcia.  Apparently, Sergio marked his ball on the green, but didn’t put it back exactly from where he picked it up.  And once again, it took someone watching on TV to call a penalty. OK, once is a fluke.  But twice in three weeks?  This makes me wonder a few things:

1. If I was to notice a rules violation, who the heck would I call?  I get that in the Tiger incident, the caller was a former rules official, so he probably had a direct line to the guys at the tournament.  But just some average, everyday TV viewer…I wouldn’t know where to start!  Do I call the network?  Do I call the course?  And who would I even ask for?  What would I say?  “Hi, my name is Stinky Golfer Chris and I’d like to report a rules violation I just saw on TV.”  Yeah, because that sounds legit.

2. If it’s taking television viewers to call in after catching violations, how much are the officials missing that we (and they) don’t know about?  In my opinion, these violations were pretty blatant.  Seriously, you mean to tell me Tiger didn’t know he couldn’t drop his ball three or four feet away from his original spot?  Or Sergio didn’t realize he was putting his ball in a different place than where he marked it?  C’mon now.  Yet, no one on the course caught these at the time?

3. If they are legitimate mistakes made by the players, and they are completely unaware, how can you penalize them after the fact?  I would think a two-stroke penalty after the fact hurts more because it would affect the decisions the player would make had they known at the time.  My feeling is that once the player takes his next stroke, it’s too late.  The officials should have caught it then.

4. How does this happen in the first place?  If I’m playing with my buddies, we all notice if someone obviously puts their ball where it doesn’t belong?  We don’t call each other on it, but it’s noticeable.  If we see it, how don’t the people who are paid to?  What exactly are the officials looking at?  This isn’t a fast paced game that’s hard to keep up with.  We’re not talking an NBA game here.  We’re talking golf.

So two incidents in three weeks.  Is it just a fluke?  Or is it going to become a glaring flaw in the way golf tournaments are monitored and officiated.  I’d like to think it’s a fluke.  I mean, mistakes happen.  It could be just a couple of errors occurring close together.  But  either way, after two quick incidents, it may be time for the PGA to step in to try and prevent a third.

Swing ’til you’re happy!

Filed Under: The Pro Tours Tagged With: baseball, golf official, golf stinks, golfstinks, pga, sergio garcia, the masters, tiger woods

Using Golf As Leverage

April 29, 2013 | By Chris Chirico | 2 Comments

I remember when I first introduced my boys to golf – I honestly thought I may have been wasting my time.  They were both into sports such as football, baseball, basketball and soccer…more active, team sports.  But I was wrong.  They both enjoyed it.  And while I wouldn’t say either of them has developed a love for it, they certainly do like to get out and play if I ask them.

But yesterday I discovered, now that I’ve begun to suck them into this addictive sport, I can use it to my advantage.  I can use golf as a weapon of sorts.  I can leverage their enjoyment of the sport to get things done.  How you ask?  Well, they enjoy golf just enough for me to get them to accomplish things around the house so they can hit the links with me!  Example:

I awoke yesterday morning to find that one of my boys was off to Six Flags with a friend of his.  The other was up early, already with his face buried in a video game.  But I had plans to end that.  I asked him what he planned on doing for the day since the weather was so beautiful.  He tells me, “I think I’m going shopping with mom,” to which I replied “Do you really want to do that?”  He replied to me with a look of intrigue that he didn’t have anything else to do.  So I said, “How about a little golf?”   His response, “Yeah!”, confirmed that I had him right where I wanted him.

See, his bedroom was a disaster.  He has this habit of hiding his dirty laundry anywhere that it will fit – under his bed, in his closet, behind his door…anywhere.  That, along with anything else that doesn’t belong where he has it, was all over his room.  So I put his want to play golf to my advantage.  “You want to play golf, you have until I get out of the shower to have this room clean or we’re not going.”  And you know what?  It worked!  I wish I started him playing golf sooner, because nothing seemed to work that well previously!

My point here is, I found another use for golf.  Besides just being a form of entertainment for me, it’s also a tool to get my kids to get their chores done!  So if you have kids, and you have yet to pass the game down to them, what are you waiting for?  You could have a cleaner house, your kids could have cleaner rooms and it all works out to you spending time with them out on the golf course!  It’s a win-win situation!  Well, that is until they figure out that I’m going to take them anyway…

Swing ’til you’re happy!

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: baseball, basketball, football, golf stinks, golfstinks, Six Flags, soccer

What I Took Away From The Masters

April 15, 2013 | By Chris Chirico | 3 Comments

For starters, I guess it was a pretty great tournament.  I didn’t take the time to watch much more than a few minutes of the final round (for the most part, I got my updates from ESPN), but I’ll take everyone’s word for it.  Lot’s of stories – a 14-year old makes the cut, Tiger’s two-stroke penalty, a dramatic playoff win…lots of stuff to talk about.  But I don’t want to do that.  Everyone is going to be talking about the obvious stuff.  Instead, I have a couple of questions.

Let’s starts with the 14-year old.  We’ve asked before if it’s good to have a kid playing in a tournament when a 16-year old played in the 2011 U.S. Open.  But a 14-year old at The Masters?  Are you kidding?  This kid’s mother was packing his lunch and meanwhile he’s keeping pace with Phil Mickelson at Augusta!  Great story, but my question is the same as it was two years ago – when a 14-year old is going stroke-for-stroke with some of the greats of the game, does that cheapen the sport or, at least, the tournament?  Does it make you look at the pro’s with a little bit less respect?

My next two questions though involve the Tiger controversy.  I’ll start with the ruling itself.  So everyone was hung up on the “as closely as possible” part of the rule.  The only real voice of reason I heard was from Curtis Strange when he said that as closely as possible could be determined as 6-8 inches – not 3-4 feet!  I have to agree.  When I hear “as closely as possible” I think “right beside.”  So to stand 3-4 feet behind where your shot was, you’re opening up a can of worms.  I mean, where is the “as closely as possible” line drawn?  What if his original shot was on a downhill lie and he then dropped 3-4 feet back onto a flat part of the fairway?  What then?  Would that be fair?  Would that be judged differently?

Even further…how is this giant loophole left open by the rule-makers?  How can you leave something like that up to interpretation?  If someone else did the same thing but moved 3-4 feet closer, is that the same?  What if they moved 6-8 feet one way or the other?  That certainly isn’t as close as possible either.  But…that’s all up for debate I guess, right?

But the whole controversy brings me to another issue.  Why is it that this day in age, with all of the officials, rangers, scorekeepers, etc. on the course that the player is responsible for keeping his own score?  Granted, we all keep our own scores when we play, but this is the pros, man.  Every professional sport has an official scorekeeper.  Why not golf?  A golfer is expected to sign his scorecard (in a designated area mind you) and remember the entire round?  Why wouldn’t an official be doing that for him?  This sport really needs to move out of the dark ages and update some of their rules.  It’s just silly and leads to stupid controversies such as this that take away from the game itself.

And just on a side note…inputting a rule to protect the players who don’t know the rules is absolutely ridiculous.  Seriously, is this a professional sport, or is it me and my buddies playing on a Sunday morning at the local muni?  If you’re going to play the game, you’d better know the rules.  Ignorance is not an excuse.  In the NFL, if a player doesn’t know something he did is a penalty, do the refs say “Oh, you didn’t know?  OK, well then instead of a 15-yard penalty it’ll just cost you five.”  If an NBA player didn’t realized he traveled before hitting a layup, do they let him keep one of the two points?  Of course not!  The rule is enforced!  They don’t implement another rule because the guy didn’t know!

We’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – for a sport that shouldn’t be nearly as complicated as it is, the rule-makers sure do their best to make it that way.  I mean, if you need to have a rule book, and then a separate book to, more or less, decipher the rule book…you have a problem.  This all boils down to the reason I don’t carry, don’t own and have never even thumbed through the rules of golf…nor do I have any plans to do so.  You could drive yourself nuts!  Don’t drive yourself nuts – know the basics and play for fun.

Swing ’til you’re happy!

Filed Under: The Pro Tours Tagged With: 14 year old at Masters, augusta, Curtis Strange, espn, golf stinks, golfstinks, Guan Tianlang, NBA, nfl, Phil Mickelson, rules of golf, the masters, The Masters, tiger woods, U.S. Open

What Is It About The Masters?

April 8, 2013 | By Chris Chirico | Leave a Comment

In most sports, the most important or biggest game of the year usually happens at the end of the season.  The NFL puts the Super Bowl at the end of the year.  The NBA Championship, the Stanley Cup, March Madness…they all come at the end of the season.  OK, so there was a point during the 90’s when the NFC Championship was considered to be the “real” Super Bowl.  Those games between the Cowboys and 49ers were epic.  But in golf where, for some reason there is no actual championship, they’ve decided to do things differently.

Instead of a championship game, golf does majors – four tournaments that are “more important” than other tournaments.  And still…none of the four is an actual title match.  Oh sure, many of these tournaments are called the “Blah-blah-blah” championship.  But that’s nothing more than a title.  However, there is one tournament that gets more press and more attention than any other tournament – The Masters.  And yet in still, it’s not a championship match, nor is it at the end of the season.

So what is it about The Masters?  What is it that makes this one tournament stand out above the rest?  Now right here, I’m sure you’re expecting a history lesson on The Masters, but no way.  I actually want to ask and learn.  When did The Masters become the big deal that it is and why?  Is it because of the exclusive private country club?  Is it the course itself?  Maybe the traditions such as the green jacket, the honorary tee shot or the par-3 contest?  Is it because of the international flavor that started in the 80’s?  Or was it because there was only one player from outside of the U.S. to win it prior which at the time made it a truly American tournament?

See, I honestly don’t know.  And no matter what I do, I can’t wrap my head around the idea that a sport which has no actual championship match, has the most hyped tournament of the year right in the beginning of its season.  That tells me that it’s all downhill from there.  Sure, there are still three other majors along with numerous other tournaments throughout the rest of the season.  But that’s like putting the Super Bowl in October and then playing a bunch of playoff games throughout the rest of the season.

But, I guess we’ve all grown used to that now.  Golf just seems to do things differently than most other sports.  No actual championship, biggest match comes practically at the beginning of the season, leaders are based on money…I guess I just don’t get it.  But hey, that’s OK.  I’m not here to figure it all out.  I’m not here to say what’s right and wrong, although I’ll try.  But for the most part, I don’t care about any of that stuff.  I just want to play.

Swing ’til you’re happy!

Filed Under: The Pro Tours Tagged With: augusta, Dallas Cowboys, golf stinks, golfstinks, green jacket, NBA, nfl, NHL, PGA TOUR, pga tour, playoffs, San Francisco 49ers, Stanley Cup, super bowl, the masters

April Brings Fools To The Golf Course

April 1, 2013 | By Chris Chirico | 1 Comment

You know what’s funny?  Some of the tall tales you hear out on the golf course.  Seriously, many of the stories and claims I’ve heard from golfers/friends I know, I half-expect the words “April Fools” to follow.  So what is it that compels golfers to make up these stories?  What is it that makes a golfer feel like he or she needs to tell stories (i.e. – lie)?  Does it make them feel superior to other golfers?  If that’s it, then what’s the reason for needing to feel superior?  Can’t you just admit that you stink?  What’s so bad about stinking at golf?

Let me give you a few examples of some stories I’ve heard from friends/golfers which I feel were worthy of an “April Fools” follow-up:

1.  While standing in front of a 380-390 yard par-4 – “I drove this green a few times.”  I’m sorry, but who do you think I am?  You do remember that we’re friends, right?  I’m not a complete stranger ya know.  You swing a wiffle bat with the same speed as if it’s a 40 pound log, and you sure don’t swing your golf club much faster.  I’m not 100% sure I’ve ever seen you hit even a 300-yard drive, but you drove this green a few times?!  Please say “April Fools.”

2.  “When I used to play regularly, I hit 320 yard drives all the time.  I probably averaged 320-330.”  OK, as of this very moment the longest average drive on the PGA Tour is 307.2 yards.  But you…somehow you are out-driving the longest average hitter on the tour….THE PGA TOUR!  You know, where the professional golfers play.  Again, please say “April Fools.”

3.  “I’m pretty close to being a scratch golfer now.”  OK, you play golf once a week…tops.  We play together several times a year and I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve seen you break 90.  Now I know you’re pretty good…much better than me, but somewhere between the last time we played and now, you’ve managed to shave about 20 strokes off your game?  You’re good.  But again, I’m going to require you to say “April Fools.”

So again I have to ask, why the stories?  Does claiming you’re a better golfer than you actually are somehow make you feel superior to others?  Even if you’re full of crap?  Do the people who lie about their golf games lie about other things in their lives as well?  Are they able to cook their dinner better/faster than they actually do?  Does their car accelerate quicker than it actually does?  Are they able to send a fax quicker than everyone else at the office?  Let me try.  I once shot a 71 at Bandon Dunes.  I won a long drive competition against John daly once.  Last year, I was happy when I broke 100, but I’m shooting pretty close to par just about everywhere I go.

Nope, that’s not working for me.  I just don’t feel good lying about my game.  Oh, wait….April Fools.  There, that’s better.

Swing ’til you’re happy!

Filed Under: Golf Life Tagged With: April Fools' Day, golf course, golf stinks, golfstinks, pga tour

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