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The Golf “Gimme” In Competition

February 24, 2014 | By Chris Chirico | 2 Comments

I’m not a good enough golfer to be playing anyone for money.  That being said…it’s never stopped me.  When the opportunity comes along to make a little cash via competition, then I’m all in…as long as I know who I’m up against.  I won’t allow myself to be hustled.  So I stick to a few bucks here and there among friends or other golfers of whose skill level I am aware.  The other stinky golfers with whom I usually play have been playing the game longer than me, and I have no problem admitting they are better than I am.  However, I can hold my own when I put my mind to it.  Winning a little something here and there is not entirely out of the question.

However, when I am playing for money (or even food or beer), I apologize but, some aspects of sportsmanship go right out the window.  So when Sergio Garcia conceded an eighteen foot (or seventeen…or twenty, depending on what you’ve read) putt to Rickie Fowler at the WGC-Match Play Championship, I was dumbfounded.  Me?  Once money becomes a factor, I will not concede even a three-foot putt…I’ve seen way too many of those missed.  And I’m only playing for a few bucks.  But the WGC?  We’re talking a $9 million purse!  And you are going to concede a putt that is far from a gimme?!

I have two main problems with this situation, besides the stupidity of it.  First is that everyone is looking at it as a show of good sportsmanship.  OK, I guess besides the stupidity of giving someone a gimme from eighteen feet away, there is a hint of good sportsmanship in there.  But you know what I think there is an even higher level of?  Cockiness.  I can’t believe that nothing I’ve read about this so far even hints at it.  Sergio said he felt bad because of a delay on a ruling at a previous hole.  Really?  This is golf…half the game is a delay!  I think he knew he had a lead and felt he had it in the bag.  And if he won, he was going to play it as “See what I did there?  I pretty much gave that hole away and I won anyway.”  Well, so much for that!

Second is the fact that something like that can happen anyway.  And in the grand scheme of things, the fact that a “gimme” exists in the rules of golf at all is just plain ridiculous.  For a sport filled with such strict, annoying rules to begin with…that they will let someone just pickup a ball without actually finishing the hole is asinine.  And where exactly is that “gimme” line drawn?  Can you imagine if in football, a guy ran a kickoff back to the 1 yard line and was tackled, but rather than send the defense out onto the field, they just said “Ok, close enough…you can have that one.”  Or if in basketball, a guy misses a dunk, but the other team just lets him take the two points anyway because he was so close.  It’s ridiculous!  This is a competition with $9 million dollars on the line!  Make the putt!

Swing ’til you’re happy!

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: golf betting, golf stinks, golfstinks, PGA TOUR, Rickie Fowler, sergio garcia, WGC-Match Play Championship

The New Breed Of Golf Official

May 6, 2013 | By Chris Chirico | Leave a Comment

Imagine you’re watching a baseball game.  Let’s say it’s around the seventh inning or so, and the umpires suddenly call a timeout and gather in discussion off to the side of the field.  A few minutes later it’s announced that back in the fourth inning there was a balk that the umpires missed and the penalty needs to be enforced.  So now, the runners on second and third jam your pitcher got out of unscathed earlier is not to be.  The other team is awarded the run they would have had due to the runner on third base, and now it’s a whole new ball game.  Does this sound ridiculous?  Absolutely.  Now imagine how much more ridiculous it would sound if the umpires themselves had nothing to do with it.  Rather, someone watching the game on TV called it in.

As ridiculous as it sounds, we all know what happened with Tiger at The Masters.  But did you know it happened again this weekend?  That’s right, this time to Sergio Garcia.  Apparently, Sergio marked his ball on the green, but didn’t put it back exactly from where he picked it up.  And once again, it took someone watching on TV to call a penalty. OK, once is a fluke.  But twice in three weeks?  This makes me wonder a few things:

1. If I was to notice a rules violation, who the heck would I call?  I get that in the Tiger incident, the caller was a former rules official, so he probably had a direct line to the guys at the tournament.  But just some average, everyday TV viewer…I wouldn’t know where to start!  Do I call the network?  Do I call the course?  And who would I even ask for?  What would I say?  “Hi, my name is Stinky Golfer Chris and I’d like to report a rules violation I just saw on TV.”  Yeah, because that sounds legit.

2. If it’s taking television viewers to call in after catching violations, how much are the officials missing that we (and they) don’t know about?  In my opinion, these violations were pretty blatant.  Seriously, you mean to tell me Tiger didn’t know he couldn’t drop his ball three or four feet away from his original spot?  Or Sergio didn’t realize he was putting his ball in a different place than where he marked it?  C’mon now.  Yet, no one on the course caught these at the time?

3. If they are legitimate mistakes made by the players, and they are completely unaware, how can you penalize them after the fact?  I would think a two-stroke penalty after the fact hurts more because it would affect the decisions the player would make had they known at the time.  My feeling is that once the player takes his next stroke, it’s too late.  The officials should have caught it then.

4. How does this happen in the first place?  If I’m playing with my buddies, we all notice if someone obviously puts their ball where it doesn’t belong?  We don’t call each other on it, but it’s noticeable.  If we see it, how don’t the people who are paid to?  What exactly are the officials looking at?  This isn’t a fast paced game that’s hard to keep up with.  We’re not talking an NBA game here.  We’re talking golf.

So two incidents in three weeks.  Is it just a fluke?  Or is it going to become a glaring flaw in the way golf tournaments are monitored and officiated.  I’d like to think it’s a fluke.  I mean, mistakes happen.  It could be just a couple of errors occurring close together.  But  either way, after two quick incidents, it may be time for the PGA to step in to try and prevent a third.

Swing ’til you’re happy!

Filed Under: The Pro Tours Tagged With: baseball, golf official, golf stinks, golfstinks, pga, sergio garcia, the masters, tiger woods

Masters Smorgasbord.

April 12, 2013 | By Pete Girotto | 1 Comment

masters jacketWhat an exciting week at The Masters so far. Sergio is tied for first…of course that was only after the first round and 14 year old Guan Tianlang from China shot a 73. Wait, who? Speaking of China, I’ve been doing my best to attain pro status for my Masters party. I use fine china, silverware and real glasses whenever possible but the green jacket was kind of tough. Bubba Watson guards that thing pretty closely.

If you’re wondering what the hell I’m talking about that’s because you missed my post last Friday…it’s ok…really. I’ll give you a moment to catch up here. All caught up? Great! The good news is you can still board the green jacket fiesta train to fairway tomfoolery and nineteenth hole hijinx.

Along with all the hoopla The Masters carries with it, there’s also an opportunity to make a wager or two. Being it’s one of the four majors, this tourney sees extensive Vegas action for golf. Here’s your chance to check the odds for any golf betting you desire. Will Bubba do it again? Who knows when there is that much talent out there.

As you can see we have been going over a bunch of stuff tied to the Masters, hence the smorgasbord. That said, I wanted to save the best for last. We all know the Masters is an opportune time for businesses in the golf sector to do some advertising and maybe run some specials.

I received an email for a special “Masters week discount” from Planeswing.com. Let me tell you, these guys are on to something. Not only will they help with your swing, they’ll apparently help stop your case of the runs. Check out #4 on their “Seven Common Problems Solved” list.

swing plane

I s*** you not!

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: Bubba Watson, golf, golf betting, Guan Tianlang, masters, planeswing, sergio garcia

Golf Drinks 101.

December 28, 2012 | By Pete Girotto | 1 Comment

Arnold Palmer is not only a great golfer, it’s also the name of a half iced tea half lemonade beverage. John Daly is also the name of a pro golfer and also the name of a beverage (pretty much an an Arnold Palmer with vodka, if you will). I’m pretty sure most people know what an “Arnold Palmer” is and if you didn’t know what a “John Daly” was, you do now.

Do you see a trend emerging in the golf/beverage sector? I do. And I want to be on the leading edge. So, I thought I would take the liberty and create some new beverages named after golfers. Here we go:
  1. Kevin Na – Named after his incredibly slow play, this beverage is 100% molasses in a glasses.
  2. Sergio Garcia – Somebody call the waaaaambulance. This beverage is red wine, chopped fruit, lots of tears – stirred with a middle finger.
  3. Greg Norman – A ridiculously expensive glass of wine. How else can he pay his alimony?
  4. Tiger Woods – 1 part gatorade…wait, he lost that endorsement. Screw it, indulge yourself in whatever you want… just like Tiger. Ba-dum!!!
Thank you, thank you! I’ll be here all week…try the salmon.
Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: arnold palmer, beverages, golf, greg norman, John Daly, kevin na, sergio garcia, tiger woods

Chip Shots: What’s Wrong With This Picture?

December 7, 2012 | By Pete Girotto | Leave a Comment

I’ll give you a few minutes to go over this picture. Really study it and tell me what’s wrong. I’m sure as you start your analysis your nose will pick up the bulls**t aroma wafting through the air. If you haven’t figured it out yet, it’s the title – “Irons Made Easy!”. When ever are irons easy? I’ll tell you, when you’re not using them, that’s when. Come on Sergio, don’t lie to me…

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: golf, irons, sergio garcia

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