GolfStinks

A Golf Blog for the Rest of Us!

Only You John Daly…Only You

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I have to give Mr. Daly credit. He might not be the best role model for the young golfers out there but, I admire his honesty. A couple weeks back he was signing a copy of his book “My Life In And Out Of The Rough” (hmmmmm…you could also replace the word “Rough” with other stuff like “Bottle” or “Most Ridiculous Pants”). Anyway, he supposedly told a Charlotte, NC newspaper that he was happier as a miserable drunk and that he played better drunk.

Come on John, don’t sugar coat it! Tell us how you really feel. He also went on to mention that he hasn’t had a drink in two years and that the more he works on his game sober, the worse he gets. And he hasn’t been in the top 10 in the last 4 years, to boot. Well, I guess that puts the kibosh on a possible career in motivational or public speaking when he retires from golf. Could you imagine if he was to speak at an AA meeting?

This brings me to my next issue. What’s up with the threads? I’m going to chalk his wardrobe up to the booze. Oh no? You tell me…

Could these pants be symbolic? Is he going “Tiger” hunting in his red and black? Nah, you can blame Jack Daniels.

Ok…Ringling Bros. might be hiring if this golf thing doesn’t pan out.

Aloha…

John Daly, you ol’ motor boatin’ son of a b, I didn’t know you were such a fan of John Holmes?

John, please tell me this is for breast cancer awareness.

You know what John, we might bust them on you a little now and again, but in my book, you’re an honest, stand-up (maybe wobbly at times but standing up nonetheless) guy. Thanks for keeping us smiling…

Hit’em long, yell FORE!

What if You Could Play Every Round with a Pro?

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So I’m hitting balls into the simulator at Dick’s Sporting Goods a few months ago, trying to find a new driver (see story HERE). Anyway, the pro helping me (yes, Dick’s hires PGA pros for their golf department) is named Ralph.

Ralph is a down-to-earth kinda guy and is completely amused that I write for a blog called Golf Stinks. After a few minutes of chatting, he begins telling me about an idea for an app he has – one where he can be (sort of) on the course giving advice to thousands of golfers all over the world at the same time.

This idea intrigued me and I told Ralph he should get busy developing said app. He agreed, I purchased my new driver and went on my merry way. Of course, I completely forgot about Ralph’s app idea – until about two weeks later when I received an email from Ralph explaining he had gotten a developer and Golf Pro To Go was about to become reality.

You’ve gotta hand it to old Ralphie-boy. Not many people would be inspired by talking to someone who claims they stink at golf, but it appears I had some effect on Ralph to realize his dream app – and he didn’t waste any time getting started.

Fast forward just a few short months and the Golf Pro To Go app is developed and on the iPhone app store – ripe for downloading at just $0.99 cents (Droid version is in development). But how does it work? Here’s the deal: Golf Pro To Go asks you a series of questions, which, when answered, will explain exactly how you should play whatever shot you’re faced with.

Let’s say you’re on the tee with the wind blowing right-to-left. There’s a water hazard on the left side of the fairway and grass conditions are wet. A few taps taking less than 30 seconds will give you a text-book approach to hitting your shot: “Tee up on the left side of the tee box and aim down the right center. The right to left wind will push the ball left. With trouble to the left, choose your target far enough right to allow for the wind. Wet conditions will eliminate roll.”

More complex shots are also covered (e.g. if the ball is above or below your feet or what the specific slope of the terrain is). You can also save shots – so, like me, when you’re faced with the same approach (side-hill lie, from the rough) again on the next hole, you can easily tap right over and get a refresher on how to play from that position.

Sounds simple enough, but with golf, sometimes all you need is to regroup and refocus, and Golf Pro To Go helps you to do just that. Ralph is still tweaking some things though – there’s no putting, chipping or trap play included in this version, but he assures me they’re working on it for future versions. But for a buck, you really can’t go wrong – it’s worth the dollar alone just to give you a chance to breath and mentally prepare – all just by tapping through the shot you’re faced with before you actually take it.

As a thank you for inspiring him to develop his idea into a reality, Ralph has agreed to give five Golf Stinks readers the app for free! Just email us HERE – first 5 to do so win!

The Best Time of Day To Golf?

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I was asked recently; “When is the best time to golf?.” I wanted to say “Whenever the old lady wants me to do something…,” but she will be reading this post. Seriously though I had to stop and think for a second. There are golfers that play only if their tee time is at the ass-crack of dawn (frickin’ go-getters) while there are others that won’t go until the twilight special (cheap bastids).

When is the best time? Growing up I used to hear sayings like “Early to bed, early to rise, blah, blah, blah…” And for the most part it is right. So, some benefits of golfing early would be you are well-rested mentally and physically and there are fewer people out there to slow you down (unless you were cuttin’ the rug all night and the golf course is on the way home).

I tend to be neutral on this. Yes, golfing early does have benefits but so does a round in the afternoon. It could be cheaper because some courses offer specials during the slower hours of the day. The golf course rush-hour is over by then which also leaves fewer people out there. And you could use it as a way to unwind and break up the day a bit.

After mulling it over a little more, the answer to “When is the best time to golf?” clearly has to be; “The best time is when you are golfing.” It doesn’t matter if it’s early or late, it only matters that you get out there and play. Hey, the early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese…

Hit’em long, yell FORE! And get that cheese…

Need Some Time Off From Work? Get A Golf Job!

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Why do people become teachers? Is it because the work is fulfilling? You know…shaping young minds, helping to strengthen the foundation of the future. Yeah, that’s the standard, almost scripted answer you’re likely to get if you ask a teacher. But they’re not fooling anyone. We all know that’s not the “real” reason. We all know the real reason is simply…the time off.

Look back. If I stopped to think about it when I was younger, I would have thought a bit differently about my future. When I was busy enjoying a few weeks off throughout the year, a bunch of half-days, countless three-day weekends and…oh yeah….TWO AND A HALF MONTHS OFF IN THE SUMMER!!…I would have become a teacher. All I ever thought about was how great my school schedule was, never stopping to think that my teachers schedule almost mirrors mine! Rather than busting my hump all week throughout the entire year with some time off here and there, I too could be sleeping late in the summer, golfing on a Wednesday morning in July and fishing on a Thursday afternoon in August. Now that’s the life.

But it seems I’ve found another line of work which allows for a fair amount of time off also – a job in the golf industry. Due to my knowledge of the golf industry being almost non-existent off the course, I never considered what, exactly, many employees in the industry do during the off-season (in the northern half of the country anyway).

Now that my wife has been working in the industry for the past several months, I’ve become somewhat clued in. When the winter begins to rear its head, golfers stop golfing. So there’s no need for so many employees. My wife found that out when the total number of employees in her office dropped to three (luckily, she is included in that group). Everyone else? Seasonal lay-off. When do they come back? April. Ladies and gentlemen….that is a five month vacation!

I know what some of you are saying, and you’re right. It’s a bit of a vacation, but what do you do for money? It can’t be that great if you’re broke for half the year! Well, like the teacher job, that’s something you have to plan for. Sure, unemployment covers 60% of your paycheck, but a 40% pay cut for five months is something to be concerned about. But if you’re prepared for it, then hey, how can you beat it?! Maybe you have a little something lined up to help supplement the loss, such as a little part time gig, under the table possibly (not that I condone that of course…). Or maybe you’ve rationed your money well enough throughout the season that you can just enjoy the time off without having to worry about searching for any temporary employment.

My point is, if this is handled right, then this could be a dream job. Say you’re an employee at the golf course. Maybe you make a decent salary and you stash away a good portion of your money in order to prepare for your winter lay-off. You spend your spring, summer and half of your autumn at a golf course! You lose your job in the late fall but still make 60% of your paycheck! So what do you do with all that time off? Take golf trips! In January, go down south (because who the hell wants to travel to Florida in the summer anyway) and play some of the courses down there! Maybe in February you head to the southwest. Because once again.., who wants to go to Vegas in the middle of the summer? That phrase “but it’s a dry heat” only goes so far. Been there in July, yeah it’s cheaper that time of year, but there’s a reason for that. It’s 100 degrees in the middle of the night! But if you’re winter schedule is pretty wide open? That’s the time to go!

What I’m saying is, if I knew then what I knew now (yeah, how many times have we all said that to ourselves). I’m sure it has its downsides, but if you’re lucky enough to have a relatively well-paid position in the industry, this can’t be all that bad. I don’t know about you, but no matter what the weather is like or what time of year it is, it sure beats sitting behind my desk all day.

I mentioned once before that I would encourage my kids to take up golf for the purpose of a college education. However, I may also add to that reasoning my thoughts mentioned above. Something tells me that if I mention all of the potential time off, it will ring louder in my kids ears then if I was to take the education route. Although, encouraging them to become teachers is not a bad alternative.

Swing ’til you’re happy!

A Game of Firsts

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Life happens, obviously. But every once in a while it hits me and for a moment there is some clarity. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying I figured it out, all I mean is that stuff makes sense…sometimes. Like a golf swing, you know? You go through the motions and somehow it works…sometimes. How? Who the heck knows but you always remember that first time you did it.


It seems (as the title implies) golf has many significant firsts. There are the great ones such as your first hole in one, birdie or eagle. And then there’s the unspectacular firsts or the yang (because every ying has it’s yang). The bogey, double bogey, snowman or the “why did I come out and play today?”. This could also be followed by your first broken club.

More importantly, I believe there are firsts that far outweigh golf’s ying yang or balance of good and evil. Due to some current happenings around me, my ideas and train of thought have shifted. This carries over into all facets of my life. For instance, A couple weeks ago I had the honor of becoming an uncle…again. What does this mean? Well, since I don’t have kids yet and my brother doesn’t golf (I know, shame on him), I can bring my nephew out for his first golf outing.

This brings me back a little to my first attempt at golf. I call it an “attempt” because playing golf requires that you have a clue to what you are doing. This was also my first time driving a golf cart and my first time losing a ball…or five after nine holes. Regardless, I think of how great it is to share something you really enjoy with someone you care about.

It’s funny because when I first played golf I was told ” Don’t worry about the rules…just get out there a get a feel for what playing golf is all about.” I sure am glad I wasn’t told that when I first learned how to drive a car. All I can say is life gives us the opportunity to experience something for a first time. It’s a pretty big concept if you think about it.

Hit’em long, yell FORE!!! For the first time…today.

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