GolfStinks

A Golf Blog for the Rest of Us!

Get Some Wings & Beer, The Final Round Is On!

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Why don’t more folks gather for wings and beer while watching golf? (Photo via Pixabay)

It’s Sunday afternoon and Stinky Golfer Tom and I have just finished watching the Giants blow a huge lead and lose. To that I say…YAY!!!! Tom, a typical fair-weather Giants fan, does not agree with my sentiments.

But as we’re watching the games, I start to realize it’s almost every Sunday that either I have a buddy or two over to watch the football games, or I’m invited somewhere to watch them. Sunday afternoons watching the games by myself are few and far between.

But it’s not like this for other sports. I’ll get together with some friends to watch basketball once in a while. Some of the bigger rivalry baseball games will also call for the occasional gathering. But do you know what sport my buddies and I have never gathered for? Yup, you guessed it…golf. Not the Masters. Not any of the Opens. Not the Championship. Nothing. Why? Well, for me anyway, the answer is simple…because it’s boring!

For non-golfers, it’s easy to say the sport itself is boring and that’s why they don’t play. But we golfers know differently. Once we’re out there on the course, it’s far from boring. But that doesn’t mean it’s not boring on TV. I’m sorry, but it is. Golf as a spectator sport just doesn’t satisfy my appetite for competition. Watching golf live is not bad, but on TV? It’s like gathering your friends around the backyard to watch the grass grow. But what I haven’t quite figured out is, why is it like that?

I enjoy the sport. I participate in the sport. We’re watching the best of the best on the pro tour. So why do I have no interest? Why don’t I call up the guys and say “Where are we watching the final round on Sunday?” I try to think of reasons, but I haven’t come up with many:

Firstly, there’s the commentary. It’s dull. It’s too quiet and reserved. It’s….well…boring! Now I’m not saying I want early 80’s John Madden style commentary. That’s certainly not necessary for golf. But it couldn’t hurt to spice it up a bit. Change up the tone on a great shot. I don’t want to hear words like “useful” and stuff like that. That’s just become more of a joke now. If you want to draw in a younger audience (and lets face it, the current core audience isn’t getting any younger) then you have to make the sport more exciting to watch. Livening up the commentary couldn’t hurt.

Second, and we’ve touched on this before, who the hell are these guys that we’re watching? Most of the players in these tournaments are unknowns to the casual golf fan. If I don’t have a vested interest in the players or a reason to follow them, then why would I care to watch? I’d much rather just go out and play myself!

But that’s about all I can come up with. I don’t get excited to watch a golf tournament on television, whether Tiger is playing or not. At most, I check in just to see what’s going on and who’s leading. I’ll stick around for a few shots, but not much more. Apparently, my golfing buddies all feel the same.

So if I’m a participant in the sport, and my buddies are also, but collectively we just don’t care all that much about watching it, the PGA may have a potential problem on their hands in the future. Because if that’s the situation for me and my buddies, I’m sure there are all too many more like us out there.

Swing ’til you’re happy!

Holiday Shopping, The Stinky Golfer Way

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Do you think dear old dad may be getting tired of the same old gifts this holiday season? I mean, how many ties and bottles of cologne does one person really need? Even if dad is a golfer, is it the same gifts year in and year out? A new box of balls or some head covers? Don’t get me wrong, these are nice gifts. I’m just saying, this year, why not go a bit of a different route?

I’m not saying you have to go out and spend a months salary on a new set of clubs for the big guy. It’s not about that. But don’t you think, maybe just this one time, he might just want something a little…I don’t know…different?

Last year we mentioned a few things that are a little bit out of the price range of most. But we’ve also mentioned a few other items that are likely well within the range of most, but at the same time, may be a bit different than the normal golf gifts given in the past. We’ve mentioned the Golf Genie, a pocket golf guide to just about all of the shots you could possibly encounter on a golf course, for only $15! We’ve also given away to one lucky winner, a Player’s Pass, a $67 membership which allows access to thousands of golf courses at discounted rates. See, I’ve just given everyone two good, inexpensive ideas!

But maybe those aren’t quite up your alley. Maybe you feel safe with just the same old same old. Well, the least you could do is switch it up a bit. If you have to stuff the stocking full of golf balls, then maybe you go to a place like golfballs.com and pickup a box or two of personalized golf balls for prices as low as $18! Looking for something other than golf balls, but still want to stay in that comfort zone? How about cruising on over to customheadcovers.com where, for as little as $9 a piece, you can choose between cartoons, flags and sports team logo club head covers. There’s enough there that you’re guaranteed to find something the golfer in your life is sure to appreciate!

But if you’re looking for something that’s almost sure to be different than what’s out there (Warning: Shameless plug about to happen), then why not check out the golfstinks store? You’ll find gifts for him, her, kids and pets! And, for now anyway, you’re almost sure to be the only one on the course sporting the golfstinks logo! Plus, who knows…you may be the first to start a new trend?!

So here’s your opportunity to go in a bit of a different direction for the golfer you’re shopping for. For one year anyway, skip the crazy golf gadget and get something they can truly enjoy. Something they may not have expected. Something fresh and new. You never know…they might actually enjoy it!

Shop ’til you’re happy!

My New Approach To Golf’s Offseason

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Do you want to see something foolish? Take a look at that photo to the left. I mean, really now. Sure, that stall is covered and heated, but are you so desperate to hit a golf ball that you’ll stand outside in freezing temps at a snow-covered range on which you’ll likely have no idea where your ball actually lands? Yeah…me too.

I’ll admit to several times being that guy. Whether it’s out of boredom, or my genuine want to improve at this game, I’ve been known to hit a driving range a few times between the months of December and February. I know I could go to an indoor range, and I will. But there’s still something about tracking the flight of the ball.

But this offseason, I think I’m going to try something different. This offseason, I think I’m going to shut golf out completely. But I have reasoning behind this, and it’s really very simple. It seems as if the more I work in the offseason, the fewer results I see – and this past season was the worst yet. Coincidentally, last offseason was the one in which I practiced the most.

Now I’m not saying I’m not going to practice at all. I will still hit the indoor range once or twice, but that’s it. You see, when I first took up this game, that’s about as often as I would work in the offseason. And guess what….I improved every year! But it seemed when I would work more in the offseason and try to focus on individual aspects of my game, other parts of my game would suffer. What this added up to was higher scores, a drop-off in improvement and more frustration once out on the course.

So this offseason I am going to try to counter that by going back to the way things used to be. No more standing out in the cold at the range. Just a trip or two to the indoor range to keep the basics of my swing in order and that’s it. I figure by not focusing on any certain aspect of my game, I won’t lose anything anywhere else. Plus, let’s face it, the practice time adds pressure to perform when you get back out on the course. You go back out there expecting to see results, and if they don’t show right away…you know what I mean. Who wants to go through that?

So over the next several months, golf will be merely a distant memory. No pressure to work on the game. No high expectations. No disappointment when the expectations don’t pan out. And hopefully, with any luck, I’ll show some improvement…just like the old days before I tried!

Swing ’til you’re happy!

5 Signs You Take Golf Too Seriously

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How serious do you take your golf game?

Sometimes it seems to me that many golfers are more concerned with the etiquette and/or actions of other golfers than they are with just golfing themselves. Am I imagining this? I don’t think so.

It seems it never fails. We’ll be out on the course, and some yahoo we get paired up with begins droning on about how someone in the group ahead of us is pissing him off because he’s doing something “wrong.” It’s after about three or four holes of this that I want to wrap my nine-iron around this guy’s neck.

I wonder how many golfers are like this. How many golfers take this game so serious that they actually get visibly angered by the play of other golfers. I understand if someone is just deliberately slow. But to get that angry about it? Come on now.

Some people complain about the most ridiculous things on the course. Sometimes these complaints may even have nothing to do with, or have any effect on, the round they are playing. So I got to thinking about some of the most ridiculous complaints I’ve heard from other golfers…

1. You need absolute silence, even when you’re not hitting a shot. Look, one of the main reasons I play golf is for the camaraderie. I want to have conversation. I want to make jokes. I want to have a good time out there. But you have a guy who is taking his game so serious that you’d think he was on the back nine on Sunday within two strokes of the lead! Dude, lighten up. If you need silence at all times and can’t be social with the people you’re paired up with, then wait for the chance to play by yourself. As a matter of fact, with that attitude, I can understand why you showed up alone to begin with!

2. You take offense to folks betting. Hey pal, mind your business. Why is my sports betting any of your concern to begin with? What does my $2 Nassau have to do with your round. Now, I understand if we’re talking about the bet during your swing. And I understand if we’re holding up the round because we’re trying to figure out who owes who what money. But if that’s not the case, and we’re just betting because we want to bet…then how is this a problem for you?

3. You’re worried about another golfer’s appearance. Again, how does this have any affect on you or your game? Why do you care if the guy in the group ahead of us is not wearing a collared shirt? Did you shank that last drive because you were distracted by that guy’s cut-off jean shorts? I don’t care if the guy is in his pajamas! He’s playing golf. We’re at a golf course. Seems OK to me! So what if he’s wearing a pair of Chuck Taylors rather than Foot-Joy’s! As a matter of fact, the more ridiculous someone looks, the more entertaining it is for me and my buddies!

4. You don’t understand the difference between slow play and poor play. If the group in front of you has a guy who takes his time getting to his ball, and when he finally gets there he takes a little while to decide which club to use…Then he has to take eight or nine practice swings, address the ball, step away, take a couple more swings, etc. Sure, then go ahead and complain. But if the person just isn’t a good golfer, but he’s trying, then shut your pie hole. None of us are born golfers. It takes practice. You know, at one time, you sucked also. And it’s even worse when the complaint is about a couple of senior citizens who don’t quite move as quickly as they once did. Hey buddy…you’ll be lucky to reach that age someday and still be able to come out here and play. If you do, do you want people complaining about you? Didn’t think so.

5. You call someone out for a gimme or for using your toe iron. It’s not a competition pal and I don’t take it all that serious. We’re not playing against each other. If we were, then go ahead and say something to me. But if I give my ball a little nudge out from behind a rock, it’s really not your concern. I didn’t change the numbers on your scorecard. I didn’t move your ball. I didn’t cause you to lose a bet, did I? Of course not…because you’re offended by my wager to begin with!

There are many more, but I think I’ve made my point by now. All I’m trying to say really is, don’t be “that guy.” Just enjoy the game for what it is. Relax. Have fun. Don’t be in such a hurry and don’t worry about what everyone else is doing. Just play your game and have a good time. If you were that great at this sport, then trust me…you wouldn’t be paired up with me and my golfing buddies in the first place.

Swing ’til you’re happy!

Happy Thanksgiving, Happy Thanksgolfing

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I love Thanksgiving. I love spending time with the family. I love stuffing my face so much that I struggle to keep my eyes open at the dinner table. I love no longer struggling to keep my eyes open on the couch after dinner. I love having turkey sandwiches for the next couple of days. It’s an all around great time of year. The time of year to give thanks and appreciation to your friends and family.

But today I want to take the time to give more specific thanks. I want to take a moment to give thanks to everyone in my golfing life. I’ll start with my wife.

I have many things for which I should give thanks to my wife. First off, thanks for using your work hook-ups to get me my new golf clubs! I’m looking forward to the chance to use them more often than I did this year.

Second, thanks again for using your hook-ups to get me and my buddies on to a few courses for some sweet discounts! There’s nothing like playing a nice course for less than half price!

And third, thanks for not busting my stones when I golf rather than clean out the garage, mow the lawn or any other household chore that I should get done.

Thanks to Josh, my oldest, for using his birthday money to purchase his own set of clubs. By doing this, it gave me the chance to take him out for his first round. I hope it’s the first of many.

A long overdue thanks to stinky golfers Greg and Tom for introducing me to this game all those years ago. If it wasn’t for you guys, I may have never taken up golf and consequently, I would never have known what I was missing!

And last but not least, thanks to everyone who takes the time to read the ramblings we post here. Whether it’s serious, comical or just downright nonsense, we thank you for appreciating and/or understanding exactly what we here at golfstinks are trying to do. Without you, there is no us.

This will be my last post before the holiday, so Happy Thanksgiving everyone, and thanks again for your much appreciated support.

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