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Why Does Golf Need Tee It Forward?

April 2, 2012 | By Chris Chirico | 6 Comments

wet and rainy golf — Will Tee It Forward help put folks on the right tee box? (*Photo by Greg D’Andrea*)

So I’ve been doing a little reading up on this Tee It Forward thing and I’ve gotta tell ya…I wanted so bad to rip it apart. All that would cross my mind was what pansies we were making out of people. “Ooooh, the game’s too haaaard…I’m not having any fuuuunnnn…., waaaaa…., waaa….., waaaaa.”

Really, think about it. What other sport gives you the option to make the game easier? If basketball is too hard, do they lower the hoop for you? If baseball is too hard, do they pitch slower? Of course not! But in golf, they tell people to just move up and play closer.

Aren’t there enough technological advances in golf designed to make the game easier already? Specialized balls that are designed to travel straighter or farther. Drivers with heads the size of a small SUV. Clubs that make the ball do things that scientists years ago would have considered to be physically impossible. But none of that is enough? Now we tell people…”Just move up.”

See, it all sounds so silly doesn’t it? But I thought about it a little further and realized, maybe this is necessary. It shouldn’t be…but maybe it is. What I’m saying is, why aren’t people playing from the correct tees to begin with? Who taught them the game? I feel that you should be able to play from whatever tees you choose, but at the same time, it’s a matter of etiquette as well. And as we all know, etiquette is just as much a part of the game as the act of golf itself. And I think that’s where Tee It Forward should really come into play.

I may be wrong, and I’m sure many people will argue against my way of thinking, but something in the back of my mind tells me that Tee It Forward was designed with its initial intended purpose to be teaching etiquette and speeding up the game, not trying to get people to have more fun. But with today’s younger generation, it’s hard to teach golf etiquette to newcomers without sounding like a pompous ass. So instead, they put the “fun” twist on it to make the game sound less stuffy. Now, I don’t think that’s a bad thing. As a matter of fact, it’s quite smart. Look, my opinion is if you want to play from the blues then play from the blues, whether you belong there or not. I could care less. But if what you’re doing is holding people up because you stink at golf and you’re only making a hard game that much harder, then you need someone to tell you to tee it forward due to etiquette.

See, the “fun” approach that Tee It Forward takes, in my opinion, is the correct approach that should be taken. It’s the reason I play. At the end of the day, I don’t really care what the number is on my scorecard. I care that I had fun out on the course with my friends. I try to play well obviously, but if I don’t, who gives a crap? It’s not my job. I don’t get paid for it. I’m not a pro, not trying to be a pro and understand that I never will be a pro. But I am trying to have fun, and I’m doing exactly that.

Tee It Forward is a step in the right direction. The more organizations that can stress the fun aspect of the game, the better. If they can subconsciously teach a little etiquette as well, then they’re really onto something.

My only wish is that, at some point, people will just come out and say that golf (or any sport for that matter) is a tough game. And rather than put together initiatives and such to make the game easier or more fun, someone will just simply say either “Hey, maybe this game isn’t for you,” or better yet, “Just go have fun.”

Swing ’til you’re happy!

The Course Ranger: The PoPo of Golf

August 31, 2011 | By Greg D'Andrea | 2 Comments

How often have you been pulled over by the course ranger?

Every once in a while, my entire foursome will be off their game. Sure, typically one or two of us will pretend we’re Lewis & Clark on a wilderness surveying mission, but all four? That’s a bit rare. But, it happens. One of the consequences of this anomaly is the course ranger.

I penned a post last year about how starters hate me. Well, sometimes the course rangers hate me too. Who are these officers of the links, mounted on their E-Z-GO steeds?

I’m well-aware of when my group is playing wretchedly. When the four of us have been poking around the edge of the woods, searching for where we “think” our balls should have ended up, I’ll glance back at the tee and see the foursome behind us. They’re standing there with one hand on their hip; and the other on the club (which is supporting their body weight). From that posture alone, you know you’re playing too slow.

And then it happens (much to the chagrin of your foursome and the satisfaction of the one behind you) – The ranger arrives on the scene. Easily identified by the little red flag fluttering atop his cart, you can feel that pit in your stomach begin to churn. That little flag conjures up the same emotions as blue and red flashing lights in your rear-view mirror, doesn’t it? Except this time you’re doing the exact opposite of speeding.

“Guys, here comes the ranger. Just act cool and we’ll be OK.”

I quickly check on the group in front of us to see if I can blame them. Crap. Those speed demons have already teed-off on the next hole. By now, the ranger is pulling up alongside us. We try and act nonchalantly – as if we weren’t playing slowly at all!

“You fellas need to pick up the pace. We’ve got a couple groups waiting on you back there.”

Sheepishly, I respond: “Yeah, sorry sir. We’ll drop a ball and move on.”

Then the ranger speeds away down the cart path to wrangle-in other slow play offenders. He let us off with a warning…this time.

I have never been kicked off a golf course (if you have, please tell us about it) but had the ranger tell us to get a move on a few times. And, I’ve played courses where they put you on the clock (one course in particular actually handed us a card that told us exactly what time we should be at each hole based on our starting time)!

Ah, such is life on the golf course and we golfers need to be aware of this. No one likes slow play – no one. The courses want to push as many groups through as possible; and golfers don’t like waiting behind a group slower than themselves. So, there’s people to enforce the law of the links.

Most of these guys are retired, and they take their jobs very, very seriously. But their numbers are dwindling as many courses can no longer afford to have them out there. That may be good news for some slow play offenders, but bad news for everyone else.

The course ranger – even for my foursome who has been told to step-up the pace on a number of occasions – is still a vital part of the game and very much needed in today’s environment of excruciatingly slow play.

The Games we Play on the Golf Course

July 15, 2011 | By Greg D'Andrea | 1 Comment

What games have you passed the time on the tee with?

No, I’m not talking about match- or stroke-play. Nor am I talking about Nassau, bingo bango bongo or any other golf betting games. I’m talking about the games we invent while trekking though 18-holes of wretchedly-played golf.

For example, you’ve all heard of the Red Tee Salute? Fellas, you know what I’m talking about – when you don’t hit your drive past the Women’s tees and you are told to play the rest of the hole with your pants around your ankles? The only problem with this game is it’s rarely enforced – which is probably for the best.

What about the “closest to the tee marker” game? This is where you stand a bit behind the tee markers and soft-toss golf balls towards them in a bocce-like manner. If you hit the marker you win, unless another person in your foursome hits it too, which will force a one-toss playoff. Good fun indeed.

Heck, even before the round we’re playing games. Ever spin a tee in the air to get the hitting order of your foursome? This is our buddy Stinky Golfer Tom’s favorite part of golf (seriously, it’s all downhill for Tom from there).

Interestingly, if it wasn’t for slow play, some of these games would never exist. Take golf-hockey for instance – you know that one – it’s where you’re waiting on the tee and one guy plays goalie between the tee-box markers while another tries to shoot and score. This is fun till someone takes it in the shin.

Meanwhile, some games are played on the go – like the one where you toss your ball onto the tee-box as you approach in a cart. Though I never really figured out the object of this game – is it to hit the tee marker, or is it just to land it close to one of them? Perhaps it’s to get it right between the markers (like right where you’re going to tee-it-up). Not that it matters – most of us like throwing objects at other objects anyway so, let the games begin.

I have a new game I’d like to run by you. It stems from people who dress like they have scratch handicaps and then proceed to hack-up the course. I think everyone should come to the course dressed nicely but bring a bag filled with older, worn-out and cheap clothes. Every terrible shot you hit, you have to replace an article of clothing you’re wearing with one from the crappy clothes bag. Whoever is dressed the worst at the end of the round has to buy the drinks in the 19th-hole. Thoughts?

Finally, every decent golfer I know (handicap under 10) can bounce a ball off one of their irons multiple times a la Tiger Woods. I myself can keep it going for about three bounces and then it drops. It sucks I stink at that since the game seems like a good time-waster if you’re stuck behind Shanks, Hook, Skull and Slice.

But how much do you have to practice to be really good at bouncing a ball off the club face? Perhaps it takes a decent amount of hand-eye coordination that I (or other “average” golfers) don’t have? Hmmm. Maybe we should tell people who are thinking about taking up golf to practice bouncing a ball off a club for a few days. If they can’t keep it going for more than 10 in a row, perhaps they should try tennis instead – it will save them years of anguish.

5 Reasons Why they Hate Golf

July 6, 2011 | By Greg D'Andrea | 21 Comments

I know it’s hard to believe, but there are people in this world who simply hate the game of golf. Conceding that these folks are basically scoundrels, they still have a right to be haters.

And while those of us who read this blog simply adore the game, the haters have their reasons for considering golf a waste of good time, money and real estate.

So what are these reasons? I’m sure there are more, but I basically boiled-it-down to five big issues…Let’s examine them:

Golf is Too Boring
Sure, you and I know that golf is about physically and mentally coming together to pull-off the perfect shot every time you hit the ball, but to non-golfers, it’s a downright snore. Have you ever watched golf on TV? You have to admit, the commentators don’t make it very exciting. And then the crowd (unless the shot is pretty awesome) is fairly subdued. Television aside, people that don’t understand the game don’t appreciate laying up on a par 5 or hitting a good lag on a long putt – it’s all just rather ho-hum to them. These are the same people who also relate to the second one on this list…

Golf is Too Stupid
“Why would you want to chase a little white ball around for hours and hours?” How many times have you heard that one from a non-golfing friend or family member? To these folks, golf is just plain stupid. It boggles their mind on how you will actually pay to play this game. You can explain all the things you love about golf but it will probably fall upon deaf ears – let them think what they wish.

Golf is Too Slow
OK, we golf lovers may actually agree with this one. But we’re upset over something taking five hours that should only take four. For non-golfers, three hours would be too long. Look, the reality is, when you don’t necessarily like something, you want it to be over as soon as possible. But could it be too painful for these people rather than too slow? See below…

Golf is Too Hard
Do you have that friend who has to be great at everything he or she does? It’s the best to get these people out on the golf course and watch them shank and slice their way back to the clubhouse for the first and last time. “How do you play this game?” they’ll ask as they proclaim you’d have to be crazy to fork over hard-earned cash without ever having a chance to go pro. Yes my non-golfing friends, golf is hard. But that’s what’s so fun about it! One man’s torture is another’s comfort.

Golf is Too Expensive
This has a ring of truth to it. When you compare the costs of playing golf with playing, say, any other recreation sport, golf will (over the course of the season) cost you more. This can mostly be attributed to greens fees, which all recreational golfers must fork-over before teeing off. And this is probably why golf has been (and continues to be) called a “rich man’s” game. But I don’t think that label is necessarily fair. For example, I’m by no means “rich” yet I can still afford to play once a week (granted I’m not playing Pebble Beach every week). But hey, when you have a passion for something, you figure out how to work it into your life. Perhaps golf is expensive, but too expensive? Not if you love it.

So to all you golf haters that may stumble across this post…remember: Before you tell that golfer in your life his or her favorite sport is boring, slow and stupid – consider this joke: Two guys are walking down the first fairway at the local club and one man says to the other; “My wife told me if I don’t quit golfing, she’s gonna divorce me…God I’m going to miss her.”

Introducing: The Stroke Clock!

March 14, 2011 | By Chris Chirico | 5 Comments

Slow play. It’s probably at the top of most golfers’ complaint lists. Everyone is in such a hurry to get through the game that they can’t stand to be held up for even a minute. But if everyone knows how much it burns other golfers, then why do they do it?

Many have brought up the idea that the it’s the pros who cause the game to be played so slowly. I can understand that. Watching the pros at a tournament can be flat-out boring at some points. Taking an endless amount of practice swings, wandering around the ball for a little while, then taking a few more practice swings before they finally hit the ball…my goodness! Just wake me up when he’s done already!

It’s remarkable how much that sounds like the schmuck in front of you, isn’t it? That’s because the schmuck in front of you watches the tour and thinks he can/should do what they do. Well guess what slow guy…you can’t and you shouldn’t. And I’m not one to normally complain about slow play – I feel that if you’re expecting to hurry, then you’re playing the wrong game. But when someone is deliberately that slow…, you know what I’m getting at.

So in another effort to help improve viewership of the sport as well as, indirectly, improve the pace of play on the course for the rest us, I offer you another idea from the minds of golfstinks – The Stroke Clock. As you could probably figure, the stroke clock would work much the same as both the shot clock in basketball and play clock in football – You have X amount of time to get your shot off.

Think about that for a second. Another element of competition added to a sometimes pretty dull sport to watch. Not only are you playing against the field and the course, but now you are racing a clock as well! Some benefits to the clock? Well, picking up the pace of the game for starters. No more “play suspended by darkness.” No more watching a player wander around his ball and take enough practice swings that you’d think he’s in the middle of a lesson. Just get to your ball, focus and swing already!

And of course, the benefit for the rest of non-pros, speed of play on the public tracks we hack our way through every weekend is bound to speed up as well. All of those players who take their time because that’s what they see the pros do, will have a whole new outlook on the pace of the game! Well, theoretically anyway. But one could hope!

The NBA adopted a shot clock in order to improve the pace of play, therefore increasing scoring and amping up the excitement of the game. The NFL did the same when they adjusted the play clock from 45 seconds down to 40. Even MLB occasionally attempts to speed up the pace of play by putting the pitchers on a clock. And there are penalties for not abiding by each. In the NBA, you lose possession of the ball. In the NFL it’s a five-yard penalty. And in MLB, when enforced, it’s an automatic ball for the pitcher. How about losing a stroke in golf if you don’t get your shot off within 45 seconds of arriving at your ball? Seem a bit harsh? Well, maybe for a season they administer one or two warnings before assessing the stroke penalty. But after that season…you know the rules.

And lets face it, in a sport that has as many ridiculous rules as golf does, one to speed up the pace of play and possibly make the game more exciting might be one to consider implementing.