GolfStinks

A Golf Blog for the Rest of Us!

  • Home
  • About
  • Most Popular
  • Categories
    • Stinky Golfer Paradise
    • Golf Life
    • The Pro Tours
    • Reviews
    • The Economics of Golf
    • Golf Growth & Diversity
    • Health & Environment
    • Golf Destinations
  • Golf Terms
  • Newsletter

Stinky Golfer Paradise

The articles in this category are the epitome of the GolfStinks ethos. Here's where you'll learn how to take the frustration out of your golf game!

An Open Letter/Pitch to The Golf Channel

February 8, 2010 | By Chris Chirico | 3 Comments

golfstinks team
Should a reality TV show be created with average golfers as the stars?

I enjoy golf. I like getting out on the course to play. I like hanging out with my golfing buddies. I like traveling around my home state (as well as the occasional golf trip) playing different courses. I never like playing the same course twice in a row. I like that none of us takes ourselves too seriously. We all want to do well (relatively speaking), but don’t really care all that much if we don’t. Just being out on the course, enjoying ourselves, having a good time with friends, is good enough.

I think this is the real part of the game that is lost on most of us golfers. Well…, I shouldn’t say “us” since the vast majority of golfers out there today are just like me and my buddies. I should say it’s lost on the golf industry in general. We’re not great. We understand we never will be great. We just don’t have the time to ever become great and don’t care if we ever do.

However, we love to get out and play no matter if we play well or not. So why is there so little in the golf industry catered to guys like me and my buddies? Why are all the featured courses the ones that are way out of my price range…especially in this economy? Why are so many aspects of the game aimed at the scratch and low handicapper? What about the rest of us? There needs to be a fix to this, and I have a good place to start – The Golf Channel.

It’s strange – as much as I enjoy golf, I almost never find myself watching The Golf Channel. I never really wondered why until just the past couple of days. But I’ve recently come to understand – There’s simply just nothing on there for me. I don’t care all that much about the tours. I’m even less interested in highlights from some European tournament from 2007. And I am so sick of hearing fifteen different pros give me fifteen different ways to improve my short game. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Which one works the best? WHO CARES!? It’s just confusing.

Combine that with the four to six hours worth of “paid programming” (i.e. infomercials) throughout the day, and I have virtually no reason to ever turn this channel on. I’m 99 percent sure that most weekend hacks like me feel the same. What this channel needs is a shot in the arm. A show that doesn’t take itself so damn serious. A show for all of us weekend warriors out there. A breath of fresh air. A break from the stale repetitiveness! Ladies and Gentlemen of The Golf Channel, I present my idea/pitch….Hacks vs. Tracks.

OK, so the title is just off the top of my head. We can work on that. But the general idea is to send me and the rest of my foursome (or…FOREsome) around the country to discover all of the hidden gems that never quite get the attention they deserve. Just four regular guys, NOT golf pros by any stretch of the imagination, who simply love to play the game. We’ll head to places that aren’t necessarily hotbeds for golf, but nonetheless have great courses that deserve some notoriety. We’ll hit some resorts as well as some munis. We’ll play there. We’ll eat there. We’ll sleep there. We’ll give an idea of what goes on other than golf in the area – tourist attractions, local sports, restaurants and such. But best of all, we’ll take our below-average games out to these courses, have some fun, give them some well-deserved attention, and hopefully spark some interest!

A show like this could open the eyes of a whole new group of golfers! Not to mention, drum up business for the courses and local businesses as well as the travel industry!

Consider this – I rarely watch the Travel Channel either. But I’ll turn on, and even DVR, a show like Man vs. Food. Why? Because it’s a fun show. Adam Richman (the host) is not a critic. He’s not stuffy. He comes across as just a regular guy who likes food. He’s not at the most expensive restaurants in the cities he travels to. He’s at the places with the good stuff. The stuff the locals know and love. The majority of the shows on Travel Channel don’t cater to the average person. Therefore, I have very little interest. But a show like Man vs. Food…I’m not going to miss a single episode! Since he’s come to my area, at least two of the three restaurants have been packed ever since (I have yet to visit the third). I have out-of-state friends and relatives asking me about those places. They want to hit those spots the next time they’re in town. And I want to do the same the next time I’m traveling!

This same mentality can be brought to golf. Open peoples’ eyes to some new, lesser known places, and it can only benefit everyone! Besides, I would have to imagine that a show like this would be a whole lot better than watching the latest “Get Ripped in 90 Days” infomercial!

Ladies and gentlemen of The Golf Channel….you can reach me at chris@golfstinks.com to further discuss what could only be a future success and the beginning of a wonderful relationship between your fine media outlet and 40 million hacks like me.

Thank you.

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: Adam Richman, foursome, golf course, golf resorts, golf tournament, golf travel, Man vs. Food, swing advice, The Golf Channel, Travel Channel, weekend golfer

The Laws of Golf Ball Flight

January 24, 2010 | By Pete Girotto | 2 Comments

PSM_V78_D189_Dynamics_of_the_golf_ball_3

Ok, so we have five laws here that, according to instructors and good golfers, are the base for diagnosing swing problems…I’ll be the judge of that.

The Laws

#1. The speed of the clubhead at impact greatly affects the distance the golf ball will travel. A faster club head speed will cause the ball to travel further; a slower club head speed will lead to less distance.

Whoa, whoa whoa…malarkey! I’ve seen someone, Tom (co-founder of Golfstinks), smash a drive off of an elevated tee and the ball had this ridiculous sinking ability it would have made Brandon Webb* proud!

#2. The degree to which the ball is struck in relation to the club’s “sweet spot” affects both the distance and direction of the ball. The closer to the sweet spot the ball is struck, the further and straighter the ball will travel.

Sweet spot?!?! Where the hell is that? I mean, I’ve got a sweet spot for…wait…Do you mean the “center of persussion”? Why didn’t you say so! Now I get it. Geez, I could have been on the tour by now if I knew that!

#3. The direction the clubface is pointed at impact greatly affects the direction of the flight of the ball. The more the toe or the heel of the club is in front at impact, the more side spin will be imparted to the ball which will influence the curvature of the ball’s flight.

Look here chief…if I can see where the clubface is pointing at impact then call me Col. Steve Austin because I would also be able to see through the clubhouse walls and into the ladies locker…ok, moving on!

#4. The initial direction the ball flies after impact is greatly influenced by the path of the clubhead. The faster the clubhead speed at impact, the greater this influence will be.

Infuence? Influence…hmmm…I get it! The more I’m under the influence the better a player I will be! That is genius, now I know why the Scottish and Irish don’t export the good stuff!

#5. The steepness of the club’s path at impact affects both distance and curvature. A steeper angle of attack will cause the ball to go higher and less far because of the degree of backspin generated. A ball struck above its center of gravity will go lower than a ball struck below its center of gravity.

Yeah…and if you take pi and divide it by the colpanarity sum of the pythagorean theory, divide it by last year’s tax returns, add it to your last scorecard score, subtract what your last scorecard’s score really was and, voila! I think that just gave me a headache.

*Brandon Webb is a MLB pitcher for the Arizona Diamondbacks who has a friggin awesome sinker.

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: backspin, club head speed, clubface, clubhead, clubhead speed, golf ball, golf laws, sweet spot

2009 Top 10 GolfStinks Posts

December 30, 2009 | By Golf Stinks | 3 Comments

It may seem longer, but Golfstinks launched the blog “From the Rough” just 5 short months ago. In that time, we’ve posted content that we hope has made you laugh, think and realize why we love this great game.

We’ve also gathered a decent following – much of which we owe to the other wonderful writers out there in the golf blogosphere who have supported us through our first few months. There are links to all these great bloggers in our “Blogs We Read” section, at the right side of the page – please pay them a visit. We should note that Golfstinks wishes to give special thanks to Jay over at Devil Ball Golf, Mike over at Ruthless Golf and Patricia over at Golf Girl’s Diary – you guys rock!

With all this being said, we’d like to list our top blog posts of 2009 (based on page hits). If you’re new to our blog, this is a great way to acclimate yourself to the world of Golfstinks. For all those familiar with us, enjoy reading them (and laughing your ass off) again! Meanwhile, please visit golfstinks.com to learn about the forthcoming site that has inspired this blog.

So, without further adieu, our top 10 blog posts of 2009:

#10: Pimp my Golf Cart – Stinky Golfer Pete pulls together an awesome collection of tricked-out golf cart photos and tells you where to get one of your own!

#9: A Golfer’s Dream; How a Regular Guy Played Golf Digest’s Top 100 – Stinky Golfer Greg reviews Larry Berle’s fascinating book about his real life adventure gaining access to the best courses in America.

#8: Can you Golf Eco-Friendly? – Stinky Golfer Greg jumps on the eco-bandwagon and gives you easy tips on how to golf greener.

#7: Golf Gadgets; WTF? (Part 2) – Stinky Golfer Pete explores the strange world of golf training aids and suggests some alternative uses for them! Be sure to check out Part 1 too!

#6: Do Golfers Golf on their Off-Days? – Since most amateur golfers golf when they’re not working, Stinky Golfer Chris ponders what pro golfers do when they’re not working (I think we’ve since figured out what Tiger does)!

#5: Golf’s Proper Place – Stinky Golfer Greg highlights the amazing Bobby Jones and his ability to keep the game of golf in perspective.

#4: How Dangerous Can Golf Be? – Stinky Golfer Chris investigates the perils of being a golfer.

#3: Male-Only Golf Clubs; Sexist Bastards or Constitutional Right? – Stinky Golfer Greg opens up a can of worms with this post on the rights of private clubs vs. the sentiments of the 21st-century.

#2: Do you Play Golf by the Rules? – Stinky Golfer Chris unearths the most “interesting” rules in golf!

#1: Hey, Do you Want to Make this Round More Interesting? – Stinky Golfer Chris takes a look at some of the more popular golf betting games.

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: top posts

The Golfstinks, Man I Suck And Couldn’t Give A Fat Baby’s Ass, Golf Course Challenge (Part 2)

December 18, 2009 | By Pete Girotto | 2 Comments

GreattrainrobberyWARNING: Again…The following challenges are intended for reading entertainment purposes and not to be performed. Unless you are a total moron or just curious like me.

Here we go once more with another thrilling and action packed set of challenges for you to enjoy when your spirits are low and your score is high. Behold, a great chance to lift your head out of that cloud of four letter words that include mothers and other profanities that would put you on the bottom of Santa’s naughty list. (PS: I’m starting with #4 cuz numbers 1-3 are already taken – You can check it out HERE).

Challenge #4: Beer Cart Heist

Yessiree Bob, just like the title says, jack a beer cart from the MOFOBETE for your round. Accomplish this and consider yourself a motherf-in’ hero! Actually, more of a jackass than hero but, the story would surely get funnier through the years. I guess there is more than one way to approach this challenge. I opt for the Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid robbing a train on horse back method. Although, the “hey your back tire is flat” routine always stirs up a good chuckle. DIMT speaking like a pirate while performing this feat adds greater comical value? Well then shiver me timbers you scallywag you.

Justification: hmmm… free beer?

Challenge #5: Golf Terminologizing

Alright, here we have a personal favorite. I like to play with strangers and create words that could be actual golf terms, or at least use made up words and if questioned on the validity of the word reply with either “Wow, these silk boxers feel great!!” or “Ooh, that sure is warm on the leg” and walk away.

Here are some examples:

1.I sliced because my wrists never rondulated.

2.The break in the green seems to extrapify to the left.

3.These terrociuos winds could shorten Daly’s drive by fifty yards.

These are some plain examples but you get the point. Hey, where’s the challenge if I give you the good ones. Use your brain for once and stop reading this crap!

Justification: Pure S n’ G.

Challenge #6 Prison Rules Golf

This requires making one in the foursome (obviously not you) your personal servant, or as those residing at Sing Sing prefer to call this act: Making you my bitch. For example, upon completion of a hole you proceed to the cart and declare to your servant: “Yo bitch, you better put that flag in the cup and grabs my ball before I shank you!” DIMT a “bitch” can be traded to another golfer for ten cigarettes?** NOTE: Exchange rate to USD is not readily available nor do I care to find out.

Justification: No real justification.

**We here at golfstinks.com do not promote using tobacco products as currency. We loves us some cold hard cash! So donations would be splendid…

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: golf cart, golf course, golf course challenge, heist, prison rules, terminology

If Golf Carts Could Talk…or Scream

December 16, 2009 | By Greg D'Andrea | 1 Comment

Demolished Golf Cart (photo by Jeff / CC BY 2.0)
Demolished Golf Cart (photo by Jeff / CC BY 2.0)

Oh the abuse golf carts take. It’s as if we could care less that these things aren’t our property. We put our muddy golf shoes all over the cup holders and drive them like Kawasaki ATV’s – through the woods and down steep hills like we’re in some off-road relay race.

In fact, the golfers that recently provoked a Canadian judge to order the Happy Gilmore swing illegal also nearly drove their cart into a pond during the same round. Usually (as in the Happy Gilmore case) the abuse ensues after a bit of drinking and driving on the course. For example, my friend Dave tells a great story about a twosome he was paired-up with during a golf tournament one time:

Four of us were supposed to play [but] two of the guys canceled so my friend asked if I minded if he invited some “drinking” friends to come along. It was hard for them to secure the full-size cooler in the little basket on the cart – but they managed and after about 8 holes they were both completely lit. There’s a hole on the back where the rear of the green slopes down. In an effort to save time, they tried to circle around the back of the green with the cart floored (Yes, all 5 horsepower). The angle was too much and the cart rolled onto the roof amidst screams and a shower of beer cans from the cooler – some of which exploded on contact. It took the 4 of us to get the cart back on its wheels. After the round, we dropped the cart off and got the hell out of there. As I was leaving the parking lot, I could see the grass stains on the roof of the cart!

A quick YouTube search will provide similar antics caught on tape. But drinking isn’t always the cause. Some years ago, my friend Tom and I were driving our carts up to the tee on the 15th hole of a public course completely sober. This particular hole’s tee box is elevated slightly and, I’m not sure why, but Tom decided to park the cart just below the tee box. Also, he backed in, so the front of the cart was facing the fairway (I guess to make a quick getaway).

Needless to say, Tom hauled-off and ripped a line drive that had uncanny sinking action. The ball headed right for the middle of the cart like a dart for the bulls eye, perfectly split our two golf bags, and then, as if in slow motion, careened through the Plexiglas windshield to leave a softball-sized hole in its wake. Did he do it on purpose? No. But did he want to pay for the windshield? Hell no. We finished our round, parked the cart back at the clubhouse among all the others, and high-tailed it out of there.

Whether you’re inebriated or not, it appears the sight of a golf cart conjures up the urge to conduct shenanigans – especially for men – drunk men more so. As if the golf cart was our own personal go-kart in which all responsibility goes out the window when we get behind the wheel. As Stinky Golfer Chris referenced in a previous post, a 2008 study by the University of Alabama at Birmingham found that around 1,000 Americans a month are injured in golf cart accidents. One thousand!

A person associated with the study reported: “A lot of people perceive golf carts as little more than toys, but our findings suggest they can be quite dangerous.” This statement hits my earlier point – whether you plan on acting like an ass in a golf cart or not, it seems people look at golf carts as benign toys – they’re there to have fun.

But beware. Courses can and will prosecute you if they have your name and can tie you to the cart (for example, if they make you sign the typical rental agreement before giving you the key). The likelihood of prosecution depends on the amount of damage done, but it has happened.

In the meantime, feel free to share your own stories of golf cart high-jinks by commenting below (commenting as “anonymous” is understandable).

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: golf buggy, golf cart, golfstinks, happy gilmore, kawasaki

  • « Previous Page
  • 1
  • …
  • 37
  • 38
  • 39
  • 40
  • 41
  • 42
  • Next Page »

Awards

Badges Badges Badges Best Mens Blogs Badges

Advertisements

GPI


 


Archives – Read all 1,000+ GolfStinks Posts!

Blogroll

  • Aussie Golfer
  • Black Girls Golf
  • Devil Ball Golf
  • Front9Back9 Golf Blog
  • Geoff Shackelford
  • Golf Blogger
  • Golf For Beginners
  • Golf Gear Geeks
  • Golf Girl's Diary
  • Golf News Net (GNN)
  • Golf Refugees
  • Golf State of Mind
  • Golfgal
  • My Daily Slice of Golf
  • Pillars of Golf
  • Ruthless Golf
  • The Breakfast Ball
  • The Grateful Golfer
  • UniqueGolfGears.com

Questions / Advertise

info@golfstinks.com

Disclaimers

See here

Privacy Policy

See here

Copyright © 2009-2024 GolfStinks.com - All rights reserved.