Stinky Golfer Paradise

The articles in this category are the epitome of the GolfStinks ethos. Here's where you'll learn how to take the frustration out of your golf game!

Chip Shots: Turkey Day

November 22, 2012 | By Tom Treloar | 1 Comment

Thanksgiving is here and I have a few things to be thankful for:

I’m thankful I did not make the PGA Tour this year. All that time away from my family, friends and job would be too much.
I’m thankful that there’s Cyber Monday because going to the store is such a pain. I mean, you have to get up off the couch and stuff…
Most importantly and in all seriousness, I’m thankful that I have something to be thankful for! Whatever it may be. It’s not how you count your blessings, it’s how you use them.

On behalf of GolfStinks, we wish you all a happy and safe Thanksgiving.

Enjoyment the Key for Retaining New Golfers

October 10, 2012 | By Greg D'Andrea | Leave a Comment

000_00103 — Stinky Golfers Pete (L) and Chris enjoying themselves on the course. (Photo by Greg D’Andrea)

It may sound obvious: That in order to turn beginning golfers into lifetime golfers, they should enjoy themselves. But how often does that really happen? Think about it – the very fundamentals of golf can be extremely frustrating – especially to a golf newbie.

Take the golf swing for instance. Have you ever tried teaching someone how to swing a club? You’re at the driving range with someone who has never played – you show them the basics (grip, stance and swing), hand them the club and let them have at it. That can be pretty frustrating to both the golf newbie and to you.

Stinky Golfer Chris summed it up the best when he wrote in a post:

“Handing [my wife] a club was like handing a cell phone to my grandmother. Some things are better left in the hands of others…[Have] you ever see a baby just learning how to walk? It’s walking into things and falling down and you can’t help but to laugh. Picture that baby with a golf club in one hand, completely throwing off it’s balance even further, and a glass of Jack Daniels in the other. It was like that. But less graceful.“

What about golf etiquette? Remember going out to the course with a first timer? “Don’t step there; You can’t put your bag there; It’s not your turn yet; You can’t touch it until the green; Let this other group play through.” It’s (what must seem to them) an endless list of don’ts and can’ts.

And what about slow play? A new golfer will inevitably be slow – they are still learning how to get the ball in the air; still learning the rules; still learning the etiquette; but yet they are constantly being pushed through the course – golf newbie or not, no one forgives slow play.

I haven’t even mentioned the cost factor (equipment, apparel, greens fees) yet! It’s no wonder there are so many people out there that claim: “I tried golf, but it just wasn’t for me.”

But it doesn’t have to be this way. Sure, golf isn’t for everybody, but I believe we can retain more golfers if the introduction to the game wasn’t so abrasive. Perhaps most importantly if you have a friend that wants to try golf, the best gift to give them is a lesson from a pro. Yes, you pay for the lesson – whenever something is free, people tend to appreciate it more.

And don’t stop there – the second most important thing is to make the game enjoyable. This means point out the rules and etiquette of the game but don’t always enforce them. In fact, their entire first season playing should be very informal. And prepare them upfront that as a newbie, it’s OK to pick up and move on sometimes.

Some other ideas: Allow Mulligans (multiple Mulligans if necessary); Tell them 95% of golfers can’t shoot anywhere near par so they should just have fun; Get them hand-me-down clubs; Don’t just talk golf – catch up on things in general – let them see the camaraderie this game offers.

So the next time you have an opportunity to introduce someone to golf, do right by them – make it an enjoyable experience and you might just end up with a golfing buddy for life.

Golf Requires A Good Eye…To Find Your Ball

September 26, 2012 | By Greg D'Andrea | Leave a Comment

Stinky Golfer Tom getting ready to use those eagle eyes... — Stinky Golfer Tom getting ready to use those eagle eyes… (photo by Greg D’Andrea)

Do you have that person in your foursome who knows where everyone else’s ball went except for their own?

In our group, that’s Stinky Golfer Tom. You see, Tom is a well-meaning guy who anxiously awaits a chance to follow your ball’s flight path and excitedly point in the direction of its landing spot…all while exclaiming; “I saw it land! It’s just past that small, crooked tree!”

Tom will voluntarily do this for everyone in the foursome. And then, it will be his turn to hit. And he will undoubtably lose his ball. I’m ashamed to admit that I don’t really pay attention like he does…and I can say the same for the rest of our foursome.

We’re all standing around quietly joking about something when Tom will say; “Did you guys see where I landed?” Sheepishly, we all say something like “Sorry man, we weren’t really watching.”

Poor Tom. He could probably lower his handicap a few notches if we all paid better attention to his shots. And that’s the interesting thing with golf, isn’t it? Sometimes a helping hand (or in this case, a helping set of eyes) can mean the difference between a par or a triple bogie.

A few years back, Stinky Golfer Pete, in an amazing stroke of genius, invented the PAF rule. This rule basically levels the playing field for average golfers – it removes any advantage pro tour players have due to the conditions they play in.

This includes things like a do-over in a trap where the sand is rock-hard (on the pro tour, it would be nice and fluffy). Or more appropriately for this post, a lost ball that would have inevitably been found by someone in the gallery of a tour stop.

For example, let’s say you hit your drive right of the fairway and into some tall grass. On the pro tour, a marshal or spectator would probably have located your ball almost immediately (perhaps even sooner if it hit them)!

But on a random weekend at the local muni, you will have no such luck. That ball will most likely be lost and your score will pay the price. Unless, of course, you have someone in your foursome like Stinky Golfer Tom.

So let me make a promise right here and now: I will, from now on, always try to pay attention when someone hits – because a ball found directly translates to a happier round.

Want to Play Better Golf? Play Bogey Golf.

September 19, 2012 | By Greg D'Andrea | 3 Comments

Add 1 stroke to every hole and you'll be playing better golf before you know it! — Add 1 stroke to every hole and you’ll be playing better golf before you know it! (*Photo by Greg D’Andrea*)

Let me begin with my disclaimer: I am by no means qualified to be giving swing advice. But in this post, I won’t be giving any. Instead, I am going to offer you a stroke-saver without even talking about the mechanics of your swing!

I’ve played golf for more than 20 years now and can tell you with confidence that golf is 50% mental. The other 50% (the mechanics of the swing), I’ll leave to the pros. But putting yourself in a better frame of mind out on the course? I think I can speak to that based on my experiences.

Now, I’ve read books that really get into the metal aspect of golf. And for all intents and purposes, these books seem to really help. But these books also tend to provoke a good amount of deep thought. Today, I’m not going to dig that deep – I am going to keep it simple (for your sake and mine).

How simple? Well, let me get to the point: You could shave strokes off your game by simply becoming more comfortable. Being comfortable leads to less stiffness and a more relaxed swing. And a more relaxed swing translates into a more successful swing.

But how do you get more comfortable? Well, there’s one easy trick I’ve learned over the years – Have you ever heard of bogey golf? Typically, we speak of bogey golf in terms of one’s ability; “Joe? Oh he’s a bogey golfer.” We tend to think of that as a negative too; “Poor Joe gets a bogey on every hole.”

But what if your goal was to play bogey golf, or even double bogey golf?

Of course this means you will have to come to grips with the fact that you stink (for more on that, see HERE). But think about the reality of what I’m proposing…If you play bogey golf, you’d shoot 90 for 18 holes. Now I bet you’re thinking you’d love to play bogey golf all the time, right?

So how does playing bogey golf make you more comfortable? On the first hole, let’s say it’s a par 4 – well, your goal should be to make 5. Knock one down off the tee? No worries, you can still get on the green in regulation – because regulation is now getting on in 3 since it’s a par 5. See where I’m going with this?

Playing a long par 5? Well in bogey golf, it’s a par 6. So on your second shot, there’s no need to hit that fairway wood you’d typically slice into the woods. Instead, play an iron you’re comfortable with (say perhaps the 7). Remember, getting on in regulation means getting on in 4 – so the pressure’s off.

I know this sounds almost like cheating, but it’s not. You are simply putting yourself in a different frame of mind.

You are mentally making the course easier and as a result, you are more relaxed and comfortable. Sure, you’re not going to get a bogey on every hole – you might get a double or triple once in a while. But you also might get a par or birdie once in a while too. The point is to mentally play the course like a par 90 instead of a par 72 so you’re not chasing impossibilities.

I mentioned in a previous post that I average 93 for 18 holes. I can actually say I owe much of that to playing bogey golf. I strive for 90 every time out and my average is pretty close. I even beat 90 once in a while – shot an 89 last week!

Now, if you typically shoot well over 100 every time out, play double bogey golf. After all, scoring a double bogey for 18 holes is a 108.

And this trick isn’t just for the average hack either. Do you typically shoot 80 or 85? Well, just play bogey golf on specific holes, say the #1, 2 and 3 handicaps.

Look, you’re not going to become a scratch golfer playing bogey golf (if you play close to scratch, this post isn’t for you anyway), but that’s not the point. The point is to enjoy the game more and this little trick can help you do just that.

Simplify the course in your mind, relax and have fun!

Golf Therapy 101

September 12, 2012 | By Greg D'Andrea | 2 Comments

I mentioned in a recent post about the need for all non-pro golfers to take “I Stink at Golf” therapy – and I was being serious. Addressing some of your golfing problems will go a long way in helping your game.

But you don’t need to make an appointment with a shrink – no sir. Let me help you by posing some common golf problems and providing candid, life-changing advice!

Problem: I can’t hit the driver.
Advice: Yes you can. It may go straight only 10% of the time, but you can hit it. In fact, when you really get into one, it feels awesome. Well, that’s the feeling we want to hold onto – even if it only happens once a round. If you never take your driver out of your bag (or worse, if you’re like me and you went driverless for several years) you will never get that awesome feeling. Hey – it’s better to feel awesome once a round than never at all.

Problem: I’m inconsistent.
Advice: Of course you are – everyone is. Even pros are not consistent 100% of the time. The reality is something will always be off – If you’re hitting the driver decent, your irons will fail you. It’s going to happen – if you could put it all together most of the time, you’d be on tour. Accept inconsistency as a part of the game and play on.

Problem: I should play better than I do.
Advice: Bull shit. Your level of play is based on two things: Ability and effort. And your ability will only take you so far before you have to start putting in effort – and that’s usually when we start saying things like “I should play better than I do.” Could the real reason be that we’re all lazy? (See this post I penned last year).

Problem: But I can’t shoot anywhere near par.
Advice: You’re not alone. In fact, you’re in the majority. The best answer I’ve seen (which cites the reputable NGF) is this: A whopping 95% of golfers can’t break 80! More than 75% can’t break 90 and nearly 50% can’t even break 100!! So even if you can’t break 100, you have half the golfers of the world out there to help keep you company!

Don’t feel so bad now, do you? See, putting things in perspective like this really helps you go out and shoot 110 with a smile on your face – and let’s face it – enjoyment is what this game is all about!

Stinky Golfer Greg’s been playing wretched golf for more than 20 years and has come to terms with the fact that he stinks. Of course, in no way, shape or form does this make him qualified to give phycological advice. But then again, it’s probably more effective than if he were giving actual swing advice.