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Bob Hope’s Light-Hearted Approach To Golf

July 30, 2012 | By Chris Chirico | 1 Comment

We here at golfstinks obviously like to mix some comedy in with our golf.  And as you can see by some of our more recent posts, we like the comedians who mix a bit of golf into their routines – see Robin Williams, George Carlin and Jimmy Fallon with Chris Rock.

However, this past Friday marked the ninth anniversary of the passing of one of the greatest comedians who routinely mixed golf into his comedy – Bob Hope.

Bob Hope and Golf
Bob Hope (photo by Allan warren, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons)

But Bob Hope didn’t make fun of the game itself.  It was more of a self-depreciating type humor (He once said Titleist offered him a big contract to NOT play their balls), which was funny considering he was an avid golfer and a four handicap at his best.

Mr. Hope worked golf into his comedy routines so much that it became almost expected that a golf club would be in-hand or nearby whenever he could be seen on TV.  This included putting with a two-year-old Tiger Woods or playing in a foursome with three presidents.

But it was the golf comedy that leaves us with some of Mr. Hopes most memorable quotes.  Quotes including:

“Golf is my real profession. Entertainment is just a sideline. I tell jokes to pay my greens fees.”

“I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.”

“A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.”

“Arnold Palmer told me how I could cut eight strokes off my score – skip one of the par 3s.”

It’s the non-serious and light-hearted way to which he approached the game that makes Bob Hope a hero in some forms to the average golfer.  A true voice to the stinky golfers of the world.  Despite his low handicap, Mr. Hope was still able to sum up the game in true stinky golfer fashion with one simple quote:

“I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it’s silly to let the game get to you. When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I’m breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That’s what gives me the strength to break the club.”

It’s quotes like these that give a voice to stinky golfers everywhere.  And for that we all have Bob Hope to thank.

Swing ’til you’re happy!

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: Bob Hope, Chris Rock, George Carlin, golf comedy, golf joke, golf stinks, golfstinks, Jimmy Fallon, Robin Williams, tiger woods, Titleist

Golf Ball Technology Improves Your Gas Mileage!

April 25, 2011 | By Chris Chirico | 3 Comments

I don’t know about anywhere else in the country, but here in CT, I paid $4.03 for a gallon of gas a few days ago. And by the time you read this post I’ll be filling up again for, if I’m lucky, $4.11. $4.11 a gallon!!

It’s partially my fault for driving the type of car I drive. But I can’t help it. I like driving a sports car. Just for the sheer enjoyment a sports car brings me, I’m willing to make a sacrifice…such as getting only 18 or 19 mpg’s. But with these gas prices, I wonder how much longer I can go without taking drastic measures.

Get rid of my car? No way! Not unless it’s to upgrade to something even faster and more aggressive..but that normally equals even worse gas mileage. I suppose I could look for something a little more efficient…but don’t even speak to me about a hybrid! I’m certainly not ready to go that route. But thanks to the MythBusters, there may be a solution!

Pictured above is what was a relatively pedestrian Ford Taurus. Until the MythBusters got hold of it that is. It then became, well, one hell of a drive!

The question was, could the effect dimples have on a golf ball be the same on an automobile? Leave it to the MythBusters to find out! And find out they did…That Ford Taurus pictured above, when coated in a smooth coat of clay, achieved a respectable 26 MPG. However, when golf ball dimples were carved into the outer layer of clay, that MPG rating certainly did change, increasing to 29 MPG! So all I have to do is get myself some clay, use a little bit of golf ball technology and BAM! I get to have all the exhilaration I normally have in my daily commute, and actually increase my gas mileage!

Of course, this episode does beg the question, when will we see the Titleist edition of a Buick? Or the Cadillac Taylor Made Series?

You can get a look at the segment of the MythBusters episode here.

Swing ’til you’re happy!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Buick, Cadillac, ford, gas prices, golf stinks, golfstinks, hybrid cars, MythBusters, taylor made, Titleist

Golf Ball Hell

December 9, 2009 | By Greg D'Andrea | 3 Comments

100_0231You can have a nervous breakdown trying to pick out golf balls. I hope I’m not alone in this assessment, but I can literally stand in front of a wall of golf ball boxes for like an hour, trying to figure out which ones I should pick.

Newbies to golf typically will purchase the cheapest options – Top Flite or the like, where $10 can buy you 20 balls. I envy those new golf hacks – the choice is easy for them. $10 for 20? That’s a no-brainer. They figure the balls are destined for the drink or lumber yard anyway, so why spend more?

However, I’ve been playing golf for 20 years. I know why I won’t spend $10 for 20 Top Flite’s. I’d like to have my ball last more than a hole without scuffs on it, thank you very much. And I’m not a terrible golfer either – I understand what “feel” means when it says “better distance and feel” on the side of the box – I want it to land softly and “hold” the green.

But I also know I’m no “player.” I don’t “work the ball” too often, I don’t really “cut it,” or intentionally draw or fade it with much success…So I don’t need to spend $45 on a dozen three-piece balls like the Titleist Pro-V1. Yes, I’ve narrowed it down to the $20 to $30 range for a dozen balls. That’s where I’m most comfortable – where I get a decent ball for a decent price. But there are so many options in that price range – which inevitably leaves me standing for an hour in the golf-ball section of my local sporting goods store.

To make matters worse, I just realized there are now more options for me to choose from…Options that I previously ignored when I was shopping for balls: Recycled golf balls. Most golfers intentionally overlook recycled (or refurbished) golf balls for various reasons, but my main reason was that I always heard once balls were submerged in water or out in the elements for a while, quality and distance would be hindered. But a new study done by GolfBallTest.org says otherwise. In their tests, there was virtually no difference between new and recycled balls of the same brand. This is intriguing.

After reading the white paper on the study, I picked up a dozen recycled Nike One balls at Target for $9.99 and played a few rounds with them. I have to say, I was impressed with them – impressed to the point where I will probably buy another box next season. If this study gets some publicity, it may change the golf ball industry!

But another new discovery has me ever more intrigued. There are companies out there that will actually custom fit you with a golf ball…and do it all online no less. GolfBallSelector.com touts “a mix of quantitative and qualitative measures to generate precise [golf ball] recommendations.” For just $19.95, you get a one-time fitting to match you with your balls. Interesting. You’ll find a similar site at TheRightBall.com. So there’s two ways you can look at these golf-ball-fitting sites: Either they’re a rip-off and not worth considering; Or your days of wondering what golf ball to use are over.

While one day I may fork-over the 20 bones and take the Golf Ball Selector test, I think for now I’m gonna stick to my recycled Nike balls…at least until another study comes along and shoots the GolfBallTest analysis out of the water. Until then, I am glad to report less of my life will be wasted on choosing golf balls. Hmmm, this post has me thinking – I wonder what grips I should put on my clubs for next season?

Filed Under: Golf Life Tagged With: golf balls, GolfBallSelector.com, GolfBallTest.org, Nike, Pro-V1, recycled golf balls, refurbished golf balls, Titleist, top flite, used golf balls

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