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Bob Hope’s Light-Hearted Approach To Golf

July 30, 2012 | By Chris Chirico | 1 Comment

We here at golfstinks obviously like to mix some comedy in with our golf.  And as you can see by some of our more recent posts, we like the comedians who mix a bit of golf into their routines – see Robin Williams, George Carlin and Jimmy Fallon with Chris Rock.

However, this past Friday marked the ninth anniversary of the passing of one of the greatest comedians who routinely mixed golf into his comedy – Bob Hope.

Bob Hope and Golf
Bob Hope (photo by Allan warren, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons)

But Bob Hope didn’t make fun of the game itself.  It was more of a self-depreciating type humor (He once said Titleist offered him a big contract to NOT play their balls), which was funny considering he was an avid golfer and a four handicap at his best.

Mr. Hope worked golf into his comedy routines so much that it became almost expected that a golf club would be in-hand or nearby whenever he could be seen on TV.  This included putting with a two-year-old Tiger Woods or playing in a foursome with three presidents.

But it was the golf comedy that leaves us with some of Mr. Hopes most memorable quotes.  Quotes including:

“Golf is my real profession. Entertainment is just a sideline. I tell jokes to pay my greens fees.”

“I’ve been playing the game so long that my handicap is in Roman numerals.”

“A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream.”

“Arnold Palmer told me how I could cut eight strokes off my score – skip one of the par 3s.”

It’s the non-serious and light-hearted way to which he approached the game that makes Bob Hope a hero in some forms to the average golfer.  A true voice to the stinky golfers of the world.  Despite his low handicap, Mr. Hope was still able to sum up the game in true stinky golfer fashion with one simple quote:

“I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it’s silly to let the game get to you. When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I’m breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That’s what gives me the strength to break the club.”

It’s quotes like these that give a voice to stinky golfers everywhere.  And for that we all have Bob Hope to thank.

Swing ’til you’re happy!

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: Bob Hope, Chris Rock, George Carlin, golf comedy, golf joke, golf stinks, golfstinks, Jimmy Fallon, Robin Williams, tiger woods, Titleist

Was Golf Invented By A Drunken Scotsman?

July 2, 2012 | By Chris Chirico | 1 Comment

Anyone who plays the great game of golf knows full well that whoever created the game to begin with must have been a drunken, twisted, sadistic bastard.  I mean, what did they know?  How could they possibly fathom the idea that people would become almost addicted to this game?  And knowing that, to go and make it as difficult as it is…how and why would they do this to us?! 

When you stop and think about the difficulty of this game, between the equipment, distances and obstacles, there are really no words to describe why someone would try this game once and ever want to do it again.  Well, maybe there are words to describe the craziness of the inventors.  Just none that I could ever gather.  So in place of me…ladies, gentlemen and fellow stinky golfers, I give you…Robin Williams!

Can anyone think of a more eloquent description of this great sport?  Can anyone think of a better way to describe the completely irrational thought that went into it?  “Like a bowling lane?”  “F*** no!  I’ll put s*** in the way!”  And if that’s not good enough, to describe the green as “A flat piece with a little flag to give you f****n’ hope” is brilliant!  Because that’s all it really is…hope! 

But it ends perfectly!  You put youself through all of this anguish using a “f***ed up stick,” to aim your ball at a target toward which they’ve “put s*** in the way” including trees, tall grass and “a pool and a sandbox to f*** with your ball.”  But for some reason, we don’t do this just once – “F*** no!  Eighteen f****n’ times!”       

It’s funny how a sport so agravating can be so addictive.  Even for a guy like me who doesn’t really care how poorly he plays, I still find the game to be frustrating at times.  And I don’t even take it seriously.  I can’t imagine how a serious (but not professional) golfer does it!  If I could go back in time, I would like nothing more than to meet the creator of this fine sport and simultaneously shake their hand and punch them in the face.  And if I feel that way, how does someone who takes it seriously feel?

Swing ’til you’re happy!     

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: golf stinks, golfstinks, invention of golf, Robin Williams

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