Anyone who plays the great game of golf knows full well that whoever created the game to begin with must have been a drunken, twisted, sadistic bastard. I mean, what did they know? How could they possibly fathom the idea that people would become almost addicted to this game? And knowing that, to go and make it as difficult as it is…how and why would they do this to us?!
When you stop and think about the difficulty of this game, between the equipment, distances and obstacles, there are really no words to describe why someone would try this game once and ever want to do it again. Well, maybe there are words to describe the craziness of the inventors. Just none that I could ever gather. So in place of me…ladies, gentlemen and fellow stinky golfers, I give you…Robin Williams!
Can anyone think of a more eloquent description of this great sport? Can anyone think of a better way to describe the completely irrational thought that went into it? “Like a bowling lane?” “F*** no! I’ll put s*** in the way!” And if that’s not good enough, to describe the green as “A flat piece with a little flag to give you f****n’ hope” is brilliant! Because that’s all it really is…hope!
But it ends perfectly! You put youself through all of this anguish using a “f***ed up stick,” to aim your ball at a target toward which they’ve “put s*** in the way” including trees, tall grass and “a pool and a sandbox to f*** with your ball.” But for some reason, we don’t do this just once – “F*** no! Eighteen f****n’ times!”
It’s funny how a sport so agravating can be so addictive. Even for a guy like me who doesn’t really care how poorly he plays, I still find the game to be frustrating at times. And I don’t even take it seriously. I can’t imagine how a serious (but not professional) golfer does it! If I could go back in time, I would like nothing more than to meet the creator of this fine sport and simultaneously shake their hand and punch them in the face. And if I feel that way, how does someone who takes it seriously feel?
Swing ’til you’re happy!