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Where Are My Clubs?!?!

December 14, 2012 | By Pete Girotto | 1 Comment

One of the many things that piss me off about golf is when a club goes missing. It seems inevitable that at least once a year either the person I’m riding with or myself will lose or misplace a club. This drives me absolutely nuts because it is usually a wedge that will not be used until I’m near the green on the next hole.

There is a ritual to the whole process. First you search your bag and then your cart buddy’s bag, just in case you put it there. Then for some reason you get up on the balls of your feet and look back at the previous green like you will be able to see the club. Once that proves to not be effective you proceed with the golfer’s walk of shame.

This walk of shame consists of stopping at the foursome behind you and asking if they picked up your club. If they didn’t (chances are they did and now have a new club) you then make the next stop at the previous green and check the surroundings. You keep repeating this process until you find the club, give up searching for it or realize all the time you are wasting.

I think golf club manufacturers should implement a tracking system for their clubs. Maybe some sort of GPS chip in the shaft. This would help prevent golf club theft and shorten the inevitable walk of shame!

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!   

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: golf, golf clubs, GPS, lost golf clubs

Admitting When You’re Wrong

June 15, 2011 | By Greg D'Andrea | Leave a Comment

They say it takes a big man to admit when he’s wrong. Well, I’m about to admit it twice, so I wonder if that makes me a giant? Hardly. But I’m the type of guy who has to get things off his chest. That being said, the following two instances are ones I will readily admit…I was wrong.

Ignorance is Bliss
My first dose humble pie stems from a mere two months ago. The post was entitled “10 Golf Etiquette Rules Most Jackasses Ignore” and number 4 on that list was the following:

Excessive Use of Your GPS
Some people question if high-handicappers should own a GPS in the first place, but I’m not one of them – Even golfers who are trying to break 100 are going to benefit from knowing the exact yardage to the pin. But there comes a time when enough is enough: You don’t need your GPS device on the tee-box of a par 5. And if your standing next to the 150-yard marker, you don’t need to check if the course’s measurements are accurate. If you’re truly unsure what your distance is on your approach, by all means break-out the GPS. But using it just for the fun of it on every shot is no fun for the rest of your group (or the group behind you for that matter).

When I wrote that, I whole-heartedly believed every word. The only problem? I don’t and never have owned a GPS device. It was quickly pointed out to me that you can and should use your GPS on the tee of a par 5 since it can tell you how long you have to a hazard or bend in the fairway. I was also reminded of the fact that some courses’ (especially muni’s) yardage tends to be off – in which case using your GPS would come in handy.

In this case, I probably shouldn’t have written about something that I never actually used myself – and as a result, I was called-out on it. But, on the other hand, I believe it still belongs on my list (albeit rephrased) – people can and do over-use GPS devices and that contributes to slow play.

Time to Eat Some Crow
Last September, I penned a post entitled “Indoor Putting; Who Gives a Sh*t?” where I went on a rather lengthy diatribe about the uselessness of putting indoors – especially how there are no breaks in your floor. I also harangued a few different indoor putting gadgets – one in particular called the Puttacup that I criticized for not being able to fit a regulation-sized hole on the device.

In an interesting coincidence (which later turned into pure irony), my brother-in-law sent me a 9-foot indoor putting mat for Christmas. Not wanting my wife to question why I wasn’t using her brother’s thoughtful gift, I set it up in my living room and began putting away. Guess what – my freaking putting has actually improved this year! Seriously, I’m dropping more putts from within 9-feet than I ever have.

To add insult to injury, the hole on the mat was cut a quarter-inch smaller to promote better accuracy – just like on the Puttacup. I’ll be damned! Practicing putts indoors has definitely improved the consistency of my putting stroke and that has translated to more putts dropping out on the course. One crow, devoured.

We realize we here at the Golf Stinks blog are pretty opinionated. While we always try to back our statements up with facts, sometimes we say things that end up being just plain wrong. Please do not hesitate to call-us-out on something you feel we have said in error. Leave a comment, or email us at info@golfstinks.com – as you can see from this post, we’ll (eventually) get around to correcting ourselves.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: golf, golf stinks, golfstinks, GPS, indoor putting, putt, puttacup

The Lazy Person’s Ideal Golf Cart

June 23, 2010 | By Pete Girotto | 1 Comment

Black_Recliner
Wouldn’t it be great if we could relax while we golf?

Do you find yourself taking the elevator instead of the stairs even though the building is two floors? Will you watch something on TV you don’t want to just because you’re on the La-Z-Boy and the remote is out of reach?

As America gets lazier (so says medical and health officials) and technology improves, I figured I would present a few ideas that would make a lazy golfer’s round more accommodating by combining technology with laziness.

1. Concierge – What other amenity adds class and lets you be carefree than a concierge? You call them, tell them you want to play at whatever time and voila, easy as that. They make sure every thing is ready when you come, such as…

2. Curbside Check-In – part of the concierge’s duties is to have an attendant ready with a golf cart at your spot in the parking lot. Who the heck wants to walk to the club house anymore? How can you avoid going into the clubhouse to check-in and pay? Technology, my friend, something along the lines of this…

3. Golf Cart 2.0 – You’ve parked and there waits for you a technologically advanced cart with GPS and a touchscreen display on a secured wireless network. From this display you can pay for the round and it’s a digital scorecard to boot. It would be silly if that’s all this thing did…glad you asked. Here’s what else:

  • Order food or beverages from the touchscreen display and have the MOFOBETE deliver it to wherever you are. Thanks GPS!
  • Want a cigar or sunscreen? No worries, just like the food and drinks, order it on your wireless touchscreen display and within minutes the delivery hits your cart. GPS, you’re the best!
  • Left a club, club head cover or your weed stash behind? Fear not! Punch that in to GC 2.0’s computer and out come the hounds. Soon enough a Go-Fer will show up with your belongings. Unless some greasy scumbag behind you scoops your goods. GPS…you got the picture.
  • And yes, this will also give you distances to the green and what not. Hey, maybe even the pro’s tip for that hole.

We could go into further detail but that would require more work (hence making me a hypocrite seeing that this is about being lazy). Not for nothing but I think I’m on to something here. It’s kind of funny though, working so hard to design something to be so lazy…

Hit ’em long, yell Fore!

Filed Under: Stinky Golfer Paradise Tagged With: golf cart, GPS, lazy

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