GolfStinks

A Golf Blog for the Rest of Us!

Golfing With That Guy

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When I say that guy, I’m referring to that guy. You know who I’m talking about. The person that everyone can’t stand and tries not to become. Please do not confuse that guy with “that” guy – the one who sneaks into the background of photos unnoticed. Such as “Hey, what a great picture of…wait a minute…who’s that guy making faces in the back?”

As you can probably see, this is going to be somewhat of a rant. So, a friend of mine and I were paired up with another two at a local track. As soon as we approached the two, red flags went up all over the place. The that guy warning siren was blaring in my head. Here we had the first guy adjusting those balance or weight screws on his driver and explaining to his buddy the reason for them. Oh boy, a know-it-all.

Just to clarify, his buddy didn’t seem to give a rat’s ass about the driver, its weights or whatever else was being explained (which was another indicator of what was in store). But, I told myself not to jump to conclusions and gave him a fair shake. We step to the tee box and have at it. Wouldn’t you know, Mr. Let-Me-Adjust-My-Driver-For-The-Wind-Conditions shanks it right into the lumber yard. WTF! He then proceeds to look for it, swearing it hit off something and bounced out. After not finding it, he insists he has to tee-off again even though there’s a bit of a back up on the tee box. Yep, he’s that guy.

Now, how can this get any worse you ask? That guy also felt the need to quote golf movies while he plays. “Cinderella story…” or “It’s in the hole!” Dude, shut the f@#$ up! Please! We all saw that movie a hundred-thousand times. I can recite the lines verbatim. In fact, I can probably re-enact the whole movie by myself. 

Well, I’m glad I got that off my chest. Thanks for listening.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!! Don’t be that guy.

When It’s Time To Pick Up Golf.

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Now. Right now is the time. So, put down whatever you’re doing and head out to your local track and start golfing. Don’t worry, just tell your boss, C.O. (as in commanding not corrections officer), S.O. (kind of like a corrections officer but more on the significant side)  or whoever we said it’s o.k. They’ll understand. In fact, they might even join you…or not and you’ll be fired. Either way you will have time to start golfing. Bonus!
Non-golfers pay attention and if any of you golfers know of any non-golfers please refer them to this. Now, when is it time to pick up golf? Great question! I’ve put together some life scenarios that point to the fact that maybe it’s time to start playing golf. Here we go:
  1. If you play a sport (other than golf) in a rec league and suffer from what I call 18/80 syndrome*.
  2. If your weekends consist of a substantial “honey-do” list and you need an escape. Hey, you don’t want to disappoint the fellas.
  3. If you are looking to succeed in business. Fact: Many deals have been forged on the course.
  4. If your weekends have time gaps during the day where you can squeeze in 9 or 18…or even if they don’t.
  5. If you are retired, semi-retired, wanna-be retired or not even close to retiring.
  6. If, as Mark Twain said, you are looking to ruin a good walk.
  7. If you are completely stressed out, frustrated, pissed off and want to make it worse.
  8. If you feel your cursing is sub par and needs more practice.
  9. If you want a chance to use our glossary.
  10. If you want to be part of something great.
There you have it, reasons to start golfing. Get out there and play dammit!
Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

* 18/80 syndrome is when you still think you can play like you are 18 but in reality you look and feel like you’re 80.

Golf Needs Us

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When I use the word us, I’m not referring to just us here at Golfstinks.com but the whole community of average hacks we belong to. I’m talking about the 26 or so million of us. Talk about power in numbers. It’s kind of surreal that we hold a great bargaining chip over the industry and we don’t even think about it, never mind use it. That chip being good old fashioned $$$.

Think about it, if we harness the buying power as a collective group could you imagine the control we would have. If we thought equipment prices were getting a little high…no problem, we could fix that. What’s that, greens fees are out of control? We can fix that too. Here’s the reality, 99.9% of the 26 million plus golfers in the USA are comprised of average hacks…us, the ones who keep this industry going.

Golf also needs us because we keep the tradition alive. Just like it was introduced to us, we will someday maybe introduce it to someone else and so on. Along with playing comes one of my favorite parts – the stories. True or not, I like listening to golfer’s stories because they’re always intriguing, funny or incredible. How often do you hear a lame story?

Another thing, I’d rather listen to an average joe’s stories than a pro’s. They seem to have better content. You know when a hack is about to tell a good story because it begins with ” You are not going to believe this s%@#…” The fact that we stink at golf automatically paves a path to great stories with all the mis-hits, animal encounters on the course, golf ball pinball off trees and cart mishaps. Let’s all revel in our stinky-ness and unite.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!! Power to the people!

Do Golf Handicaps Lie?

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It’s no secret some golfers lie about their handicap. But can the handicap system itself be a bit deceiving?

I keep my own handicap – it’s not that hard, you just have to play at least five rounds of golf and then understand how to calculate it (more about that later).

But what if you play all your rounds at the same course? I’ve played many rounds in charity tournaments with guys who claim a handicap far better than the skill they displayed out on the links.

Do they lie? No their handicap does.

Invariably, these guys are members of a private club and all the scores they use to calculate their handicap have been calculated from that one course.

Sorry gents, your handicap is biased. I play a different course nearly every time. But if I played the same 18 holes day in and day out, for sure I would learn all the nooks and crannies, the dos and don’ts of that course. My scores overtime would get exponentially better.

Better scores translate to a lower handicap, which leads to bragging rights among the foursome. But go to a new course, and suddenly your 10 handicap looks more like a 15. What happened?

Golf happened! No two golf courses are alike. And that fact is perhaps among the most unique and defining features of this game – that to truly test your metal, you must play all that golf has to offer – not just the same tract of turf over and over again. But by only playing the same course, you’re doing your handicap (and yourself) a disservice.

Another wee issue I have with the handicap system is this whole five rounds thing. Statistically, I would think the more rounds you include, the more accurate your handicap. But there are many who say all you need is five.

Personally, I think the 5-round rule is so people can obtain a handicap faster. But to me, five rounds just isn’t enough – so I calculate my handicap from my previous 20 rounds. In case you didn’t know the formula for a handicap, here it is:

1. Play 20 rounds of 18-hole golf.
2. For each round, use this formula to calculate a handicap differential: (Your Score – The Course Rating) x 113 / The Slope Rating
3. Take the 10 best differentials and average them.
4. Multiply that average by 0.96.

Presto – you have a handicap. Can I poke holes in this formula? Sure – for example, who decided 113 was the “standard” slope rating and what was their logic? And why 96%? Are we assuming a 4% margin of error or something?

But despite these quasi-questionable values in the formula, nothing will skew the accuracy of a handicap like having your 20 scores coming all from one course.

I enjoy calculating my handicap every year and I feel it’s a pretty accurate reflection of my skill level. I just don’t think everyone can say the same thing about their handicap.

Free Pair of Golf Sunglasses Anyone?

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Not too long ago, I purchased a pair of sunglasses for golf. At nearly 100 bucks, I was hoping I would get plenty of rounds out of them. Alas, my new sunglasses lasted a little over one season before I dropped on them on the cart path and scratched the lenses.

While I can’t fault the sunglass company for this mishap, I can fault myself for getting such an expensive pair. Now don’t get me wrong, many people spend well over $100 on sunglasses, but if I’m going to keep them in my golf bag and take hundreds (the way I play) of swings per round with them, a pricey pair shades may not necessarily be the way to go.

Enter a site called the SunglassWarehouse.com. While these guys have a surplus of shades for multiple uses, I like how they have an info page specifically for golfers.

Not only does this page explain why golfers should wear sunglasses (UV protection, etc.) but it also claims wearing certain sunglasses can actually improve your golf game! According to the site: “Some sunglasses will protect your eyes from above UV rays, and at the same time help your game by improving your view of the fairway.”

Not only that, but the right polarization can help you read the breaks in the green better. And, according to the site, all golfer shades must have a snug fit, to keep them from slipping down your nose at address.

OK, so by now, I know what you’re thinking – can the type of sunglasses really help my golf game? Well, I wondered the same thing and the good folks over at Sunglass Warehouse sent me a pair to test out (see photo at top). Actually, they sent me two pairs – one pair to test out and one pair to give out – to one of you!

I recently played my first round of the season. With no leaves yet on the trees to block the sun up here in New England, I thought it would be a perfect time to test my new shades. I also carried a pair of “sport” sunglasses that did not have polarization – just to see if there was a difference.

Sure enough, the polarized sunglasses were actually an improvement over the non-polarized sunglasses. In direct sunlight, I could see the fairway and green much better. In addition, the fit was just right – snug enough to stay put, yet not uncomfortably tight. On top of all this, they are UV 400.

So yes, a little thing like which sunglasses you choose can help you be a better golfer. And the beautiful thing is, these types of sunglasses don’t have to break the bank (or to put it another way, if you drop them on the cart path and scratch the lenses, it won’t hurt your wallet as much).

So – how do you win a pair for yourself? Just go over to the Golfstinks Facebook page (“like” us if you haven’t already) and “like” the post on our wall called “Free Pair of Golf Sunglasses Anyone?” That’s it! We’ll select one random winner from all those who like that Facebook post!

Good Luck!

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