GolfStinks

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How to Avoid Slow Play in Golf

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I always know which tee-box I belong on.
I always know which tee-box I belong on. (Photo by Sonny Vega)

OK, let me rephrase that headline: How to not hold others up on the golf course so you yourself can have a more enjoyable round.

See it’s not really about anyone else out on the course – it’s about you. I stopped trying to hustle through my round years ago and learned how to play at my own pace without annoying the group(s) behind me.

Now if it were up to me, I would take 5 or 6 hours to play 18 holes. Unfortunately, I don’t have my own personal golf course, so leisurely lollygagging down the fairway isn’t going to work when there’s a few foursomes backed up behind me. Don’t get me wrong, I still take my time – sometimes even up to 5 hours to finish 18-holes. But I’m rarely holding anyone up…

Here’s 3 reasons why:

1. I know which tee box I belong on
This is perhaps the most important thing golfers need to understand. Nothing gets me more frustrated than watching a group of clowns skulling, slicing and duffing their drives from the championship tees. Now I realize there’s a machismo thing going on here but if you can’t reach the damn fairway from the back tees, perhaps it might be a good idea to move up a bit? I also realize not all golf courses are the same – which is what a slope rating is for. Learn what a slope rating is and use it to decide how hard the course will be and subsequently which tee box you belong on. A good rule of thumb is if you can’t break 90 on a consistent basis, play from the forward tees (typically the “white” tees). Plus you’ll enjoy your round more since you’ll avoid the hazards that would come into play from the back tees.

2. I don’t mind bending the rules
For recreational golfers, the USGA rules are really more like guidelines than actual rules. In fact, I’ve written about how the USGA should come up with a simpler set of rules for non-tournament play. Learning which rules to bend will help you move along faster without actually having to hurry. For example, agree amongst your foursome that you can improve your lie (roll the ball over); or that any putt less than a foot is a gimme; or play “ready golf” instead of waiting for the farthest person away to hit (or instead of waiting on the tee for someone in the restroom just because they won the previous hole – if they need a bathroom break, then they tee-off last). Another time saver is to only look for lost balls for 2 minutes, instead of the USGA-allotted 5 minutes (think of it as your two-minute warning). Finally, don’t hesitate to “pick up” on a hole. A good rule is if you’ve reached 10 strokes but haven’t reached the green yet, it’s time to pick up and move on to the next hole.

3. I let faster groups play through
Letting others play through is sometimes a tough pill to swallow because many golfers don’t think (or realize) they are playing slow – so when the group behind is catching up, it’s easier to become annoyed than it is accommodating. But not me. As soon as I notice the group behind me getting close, I consider letting them go ahead of me. Now obviously if we’re right behind the group in front of us, then my group isn’t the problem. But if there’s an open hole ahead of us, it’s time to swallow our pride and let them through. Not only does it appease the group behind you, but it puts less stress on you and your group to play hastily (which will not only make your round more enjoyable, but will also allow you to play more relaxed and most likely better).

Remember, the aforementioned tips are not just so other people on the course can play faster, but also for your round to be more enjoyable. All you need to do is recognize that golf is supposed to be fun and that your score is secondary. Once you accept that, it’s easy to play from the right tee-box; bend some rules; and let others play through.

Do Golf Handicaps Lie?

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It’s no secret some golfers lie about their handicap. But can the handicap system itself be a bit deceiving?

I keep my own handicap – it’s not that hard, you just have to play at least five rounds of golf and then understand how to calculate it (more about that later).

But what if you play all your rounds at the same course? I’ve played many rounds in charity tournaments with guys who claim a handicap far better than the skill they displayed out on the links.

Do they lie? No their handicap does.

Invariably, these guys are members of a private club and all the scores they use to calculate their handicap have been calculated from that one course.

Sorry gents, your handicap is biased. I play a different course nearly every time. But if I played the same 18 holes day in and day out, for sure I would learn all the nooks and crannies, the dos and don’ts of that course. My scores overtime would get exponentially better.

Better scores translate to a lower handicap, which leads to bragging rights among the foursome. But go to a new course, and suddenly your 10 handicap looks more like a 15. What happened?

Golf happened! No two golf courses are alike. And that fact is perhaps among the most unique and defining features of this game – that to truly test your metal, you must play all that golf has to offer – not just the same tract of turf over and over again. But by only playing the same course, you’re doing your handicap (and yourself) a disservice.

Another wee issue I have with the handicap system is this whole five rounds thing. Statistically, I would think the more rounds you include, the more accurate your handicap. But there are many who say all you need is five.

Personally, I think the 5-round rule is so people can obtain a handicap faster. But to me, five rounds just isn’t enough – so I calculate my handicap from my previous 20 rounds. In case you didn’t know the formula for a handicap, here it is:

1. Play 20 rounds of 18-hole golf.
2. For each round, use this formula to calculate a handicap differential: (Your Score – The Course Rating) x 113 / The Slope Rating
3. Take the 10 best differentials and average them.
4. Multiply that average by 0.96.

Presto – you have a handicap. Can I poke holes in this formula? Sure – for example, who decided 113 was the “standard” slope rating and what was their logic? And why 96%? Are we assuming a 4% margin of error or something?

But despite these quasi-questionable values in the formula, nothing will skew the accuracy of a handicap like having your 20 scores coming all from one course.

I enjoy calculating my handicap every year and I feel it’s a pretty accurate reflection of my skill level. I just don’t think everyone can say the same thing about their handicap.

Sorry, You’re Banned From the Back Tees

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The might be better from the back tees, but your golf game might suffer from back there (photo by Greg D'Andrea)
The view might be better from the back tees, but your golf game will suffer more from there (photo by Greg D’Andrea)

The view always seems better from the back tees, doesn’t it? I’ve played at some fantastic locations over the years and it never fails – the scenery just seems to “pop” more from back there.

I’ve photographed most of the courses I’ve played. I’m not much of a photographer, but I’ve taken a few winners in my day and I’m usually standing on the back tees when all my best photos are captured. I’ll even try and snap a few shots from the middle tees, but I always end up walking back for a better view.

The fact is, when you stand at the tips of a course, you’re seeing what the course architect intended you to see – how the hole is “really” supposed to look. Leave that championship tee box and the view, the hole…the entire feeling just loses something.

And what of the challenge? A golfing buddy once told me: “You have to play from the tips because if you don’t, you’re not really playing the golf course.” Is this true? It sounds reasonable – I don’t think many architects design a course from the greens back. Typically, they design it from the tips forward – positioning the middle and forward tees somewhat after the fact.

This all seems logical to me. Screw it! I’m playing the back tees from now on! I’ll take-in all the best views and test my metal on the true course layout! Boy, this is gonna be great! That is, of course, until I realize none of my tee shots are finding the fairway because; A) they’re either not long enough to make it over the caliche from back there or; B) I couldn’t successfully play a fade or draw around a corner to get it to the fairway.

You see, the reality is I have no business playing from back there, and neither do many of you. Yet I see it all too often. A couple of clowns who barely know how to hold a club are teeing it up from the tips. The result? A long afternoon on the course. Look, unless you know the course well, most average hacks should be teeing-off from the middle tees. For one, you won’t get frustrated because you shot 10 strokes over your average. Second, you won’t be holding up everyone on the course because of your struggles.

Heck, the USGA even came up with a rating system to help you decide which tee box you should play from. It’s called the Slope Rating. Want to learn more? Read my post from last year called “What the Crap is a Slope Rating?” This is something our pal Tom over at the golfnoise blog should have done before he and his buddies let the way they were dressed get in the way of which tee-box they played from.

So, should average golfers never get to experience the course the way it was intended to be experienced? Not necessarily. Last week I wrote about the joys of playing golf when very few people were out on the course. I mentioned that if no one is behind you, it’s OK to slow down and take in more of the scenery.

Next time there’s plenty of room between you the group behind you, this is a perfect time to try playing from the tips. If one group starts to catch up, let them play through. The less stress you put on yourself, the better you’ll play. Of course, don’t say I didn’t warn you when you shoot 10 strokes over your average from back there.

Remember When You Were A Golf Newbie?

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Know when to say when at the driving range...
Know when to say when at the driving range…

There comes a point in your golfing life when you forget what it’s like to be a “newbie” at this game. Last week I received a text from a buddy whom I’ve never known to play golf. He had just come from the driving range and was asking me a few questions (I should have known right then and there he wasn’t sure what he was doing).

Anyway, he’s texting me about this terrible slice he has and proceeds to explain he hit 3 large buckets of balls but was unable to correct the problem. Suddenly I could care less about his slice. This guy – who hasn’t swung a club in who knows how long – just hit three large buckets of balls! If I hit three large buckets of range balls in one sitting, my spine would fall out.

Look, there’s only two types of people who hit that many practice balls at once: Tour Pros and Newbies. I rarely hit range balls before a round, but even if I do, it’s usually one small bucket. When I go to the range, maybe I hit one large bucket (and usually don’t finish it). But three? Newbie.

My buddy’s text conversation, coupled with Stinky Golfer Chris’ post the other day about taking his son out on the course for the first time, got me thinking about other new golfer traits. One is not using a tee on a par three. Remember doing this? The logic here is since you don’t tee-it-up when you use an iron in the fairway, why can’t you hit-it-off the deck on a par three? This is totally a newbie trait. Once you do that a few times, you’ll inevitably get paired with someone who will tell you there’s always an advantage to using a tee – so you should use one whenever you can. Even after I learned this information, it was still hard for me to start using a tee on a par 3 – it was like I felt special since I was doing something no one else did…of course, no one else did it because it’s a dumb idea.

Remember when you didn’t know what a slope rating was (if you still don’t know, click HERE)? How about a course rating? You’d see these strange numbers on the scorecard and think: A 69.7, what the hell does that mean? Is that what I’m supposed to shoot here? I’m a newbie, how can I shoot…Oh wait, there’s also a 129 listed – yeah, that’s more like it.”

How about this one; I’ve actually seen newbies tee-up their ball outside of the tee-markers…like it doesn’t matter where you put the ball, as long as it’s close to either of those big white blocks of wood. Sometimes they will put it about 4 or 5 yards in front of where the ball markers are. Funny, you’d think this would be the first thing they are taught – that your ball goes in between these markers.

OK, this may not just be a newbie trait, but what about the people that will walk into all types of thickets, thorns, poison ivy, etc., just to retrieve their ball. If you’re a newbie, not going though lengths to find a lost ball is a hard thing to deal with – after all, you know how much each of those balls costs and after only one drive, you can’t imagine parting with it. Heck, that’s why you purchased that ball retriever (which seems to find its way out of your bag more times than the 6-iron).

This is one of my personal favorites because my father (who took-up the game after I had already been playing for a few years) was guilty of this: Some newbie’s develop an affinity for certain clubs, while at the same time they begin to shy-away from other clubs. My dad loved his 8-iron. He would (and still does sometimes) hit that iron from almost anywhere within 150 yards. Contrary to the love for his 8-iron, he despised his 9-iron. I know it doesn’t make any logical sense, but I’ll be damned if every time I convinced him to hit that club, he would shank the ball into the next fairway. To this day, my dad still won’t use his nine – at this point, he should just take it out of his bag and lighten his load.

Not don’t get me wrong – I love golf newbies – they are the future of the game and as veteran players, we should be obliged to take one under our wing (even if it’s just to point out all the silly things they do on the course). In fact, I promised my three-bucket buddy I’m ready to hit the course with him ASAP (well, as soon as his blisters heal – see photo).

What the Crap is a Slope Rating?

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Ko'olau Golf Club
Ko’olau Golf Club in Hawaii is widely considered one of the toughest golf courses in the world

We here at GolfStinks can appreciate playing a round of golf without understanding all the idiosyncrasies of the game that serious players, well, take seriously. But sometimes things that seem inconsequential to you can actually help put this crazy game into better perspective. Thus, I’ve decided to shed some insight on a golf measure that is rarely understood (or paid much attention to) by the weekend hack: The Slope Rating.

You see it on the score card and think “what’s this mean?” and “why do I care?” Well, chances are unless you keep a handicap, you won’t know what a slope rating is, nor will you care…but you should and here’s why: It’s true the slope rating factors into calculating a handicap, but if you don’t keep a handicap, it can still be useful. In most basic terms, a slope rating is there to help average hacks like you and me understand how tough a course is.

To give golfers an idea of its difficulty level, the USGA will assign a number (or rating) to each tee box on a course. The higher a rating, the tougher the challenge. The maximum slope rating handed out by the USGA is 155 (average is around 127 from the back tees). Currently, the only course to have a rating of 155 is the Ocean Course at Kiawah Island in South Carolina. It should be noted that Ko’olau Golf Club in Hawaii (pictured) is widely considered one of the toughest courses in the world and previously carried a slope rating of 162 from its back tees – a rating not possible under USGA rules. Ko-olau’s current rating from its tips is 152.

Anyway, there are a couple reasons a course has a high slope rating:

First reason: The course is longer. It’s been decided that 6,500 -7,000 yards is an average length for a course. Courses shorter than this will usually have a below average slope rating (e.g. less than 127 from the back tees), while courses longer than this will have a higher slope rating than the average.

Second reason: The course has a lot of defenses. Sand traps, water hazards, narrow fairways, high rough, etc. Some or all are usually present to make sure there is a sufficient challenge.

So, the next time you play, take a look at the scorecard for the course’s total yardage and slope rating from each tee box. If it’s a short course, but has a high slope rating, chances are there are good amount of defenses. If it’s long with a low rating, chances are the course is pretty wide open. If it’s a short course with a low rating, the course probably features a relatively easy layout (or features a windmill and clown’s mouth). Finally, if it’s long with a high slope, you’re on a tough course (or more likely at a PGA Tour event and are viewing the festivities from behind the yellow rope).

That being said, knowing the slope rating will help you decide which tee boxes to play from and give you an idea of what to expect as far as difficulty. Let’s face it, most stinky golfers will end up playing from the forward (white) tees, but if the course has a really low slope from there (and you feel like giving yourself more of a challenge), you might opt to play farther back.

As I’m sure many of our readers can confirm, there’s nothing worse than a bad golfer playing from the wrong tees. So check out the slope rating and make the appropriate choice based on your skill level.

Please note: The “course rating” is another measure rarely paid much attention to by the average weekend hack…and it should stay that way. This is a measure for scratch golfers and those keeping a handicap.

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