lumber yard Archives • GolfStinks

For the first time in a long time I was able to get a round in on a nice sunny morning. If you haven’t followed or didn’t know, this is also my first time out in almost a year and a half due to 1) Surgery and B…hehehe…2) Our golf season in the Northeast is just that – seasonal. If it wasn’t for winter I would have been out there already.

I have to admit though I was a little anxious. I had no idea what to expect. It was like my first day of school all over again. I was up early, cleaned my clubs, wiped the dust off the bag, remembered my lunch money and was off.

As we got to the first tee it hit me – the first “Golfing What”. What do I do here? Hit the ball. I know that wise ass. My issue was figuring out my distances. I knew when I stopped playing a year and a half ago what my distances were more or less but today is a different story. And my driver, forget it, that wasn’t seeing the light of day.

Since the driver was staying in, I figured I would give the 3 wood a chance. And what a chance it had…right in the friggin’ lumberyard. Can you smell that? That, my friends, is the smell of my first “Woe”. So the driver and 3 wood were sent to the showers and I decided it’s all iron play from here on out. Looking back, it was a wise decision. Just by eliminating the woods and driver I shaved strokes off my score!

We hit a little bit of a back up at the 4th or 5th hole and we end up talking with the group in front of us as they wait for the firm, you know Shanks, Hook, Skull & Slice, to make their approach shots to the green. As we were chatting it up with this group my second “Golfing What” and “Woe” hit me almost simultaneously. What the f@#! is this guy wearing? He had on a ratty t-shirt and dirty shorts! WTF!

I know we try to do our best to keep golf’s traditions alive but I get this feeling that some have put aside golf’s formalities for comfort. Not that I’m a stickler for dress code (I wear cargo shorts and I’ll save that battle for another time) but I think a little decency on the course is expected. Just my $0.02.

Hit’ em long…yell FORE!!!

When I say that guy, I’m referring to that guy. You know who I’m talking about. The person that everyone can’t stand and tries not to become. Please do not confuse that guy with “that” guy – the one who sneaks into the background of photos unnoticed. Such as “Hey, what a great picture of…wait a minute…who’s that guy making faces in the back?”

As you can probably see, this is going to be somewhat of a rant. So, a friend of mine and I were paired up with another two at a local track. As soon as we approached the two, red flags went up all over the place. The that guy warning siren was blaring in my head. Here we had the first guy adjusting those balance or weight screws on his driver and explaining to his buddy the reason for them. Oh boy, a know-it-all.

Just to clarify, his buddy didn’t seem to give a rat’s ass about the driver, its weights or whatever else was being explained (which was another indicator of what was in store). But, I told myself not to jump to conclusions and gave him a fair shake. We step to the tee box and have at it. Wouldn’t you know, Mr. Let-Me-Adjust-My-Driver-For-The-Wind-Conditions shanks it right into the lumber yard. WTF! He then proceeds to look for it, swearing it hit off something and bounced out. After not finding it, he insists he has to tee-off again even though there’s a bit of a back up on the tee box. Yep, he’s that guy.

Now, how can this get any worse you ask? That guy also felt the need to quote golf movies while he plays. “Cinderella story…” or “It’s in the hole!” Dude, shut the f@#$ up! Please! We all saw that movie a hundred-thousand times. I can recite the lines verbatim. In fact, I can probably re-enact the whole movie by myself.

Well, I’m glad I got that off my chest. Thanks for listening.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!! Don’t be that guy.

Golfing What’s and Woes

Golfing With That Guy

Questions / Advertise

Disclaimers

Privacy Policy