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A Consistent Golf Swing is an Oxymoron

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I bet the golf pro could point out a few things wrong with this swing… (Photo by Greg D’Andrea)

I was in a groove for a few holes this past weekend. Have you ever gotten into one of those grooves where you feel like everything with your golf swing is clicking?

I felt super comfortable as I roped a drive down the middle of the fairway. One of the tell-tale signs of a good swing (for me anyway) is I’m not falling all over myself after my follow-through.

On this particular swing, my balance was perfect and the result of my shot was also…well, perfect. It all clicked again on my approach shot – smooth and balanced. I putted-out for par and continued to play the next few holes in “the zone.”

But eventually, something happened between holes. Or maybe it was as I bent over to put the tee in the ground. Who knows? But my swing was no longer fluid. I was uncomfortable just standing there on the tee-box. But I brushed it aside and swung…and then watched my shot duck-hook into the woods on the left.

Miraculously, I only took a bogie on the hole, but something was definitely off – I could feel it. On the next hole, I knocked my 5-iron down from the fairway – a 50-yard worm-burner. But again, I only suffered a bogie.

I remember telling my golf buddies that my game was hanging on by a mere thread. I felt as if at any moment those bogies could turn into doubles and triples – I felt as though my swing had deteriorated to the point where I could legitimately dislocate my shoulder on a swing – that’s how uncomfortable I felt!

The sad thing is, I just described my typical golf game. I play a few holes like a champ and a few like a golf newbie and a few somewhere in the middle of both. The key for me is limiting the damage when I play like I’m holding a club for the first time.

But the most frustrating part is I never know what goes wrong or when it’s going to happen! I don’t feel like I’m doing anything different – but something must be different!

I’ve come to realize that having a consistent golf swing is an oxymoron. No one can have a consistent golf swing forever – it’s not a question of if you will hit a bad shot, but rather when. The best golfers are the ones who can limit the damage when they do have a mishit.

And that’s what fortunately happened to me this past weekend – I was able to limit the doubles and triples and ended up playing decent golf (or what equates to decent golf for me).

But as for what goes wrong with my swing – why it changes…That’s as ambiguous as it was my first season playing. Is it mechanical? Is it mental? Is it both (probably)? Can I get better? Sure – If I practice enough, I can probably stay “in the zone” longer, but that’s the thing with golf – even the best players have trouble keeping it together (both physically and mentally) all the time.

My advice to you is don’t worry about it! Play golf and have fun – no matter what swing shows up on any particular tee-box.

Softball is Killing My Golf Swing…and I’m Cool With It

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Staff_Sgt._Matthew_Noble_hitting_a_Grand_Slam_during_an_Air_Force_Morale_Softball_gameMy softball team stinks. Seriously, we have just one win on the year compared to 8 losses. Last night, we had our proverbial asses handed to us 22 – 0 by the third-place team in our league. Twenty-two to nothing! How do you not score a run in softball? Mercifully, we were mercy-ruled in the fifth inning.

In the fourth, the other team scored 11 runs (which made it 22 – 0). The second-to-last batter up that inning actually tried to get out on purpose! He lazily swung at the 0-1 offering and tapped it back to our pitcher…who promptly let it slip through his legs.

During that fourth inning, I stood there at shortstop, vaguely aware of the train of players running past me to third and then to home. I was zoning out; my mind elsewhere as a Keystone-Cop routine was unfolding among my teammates around me. While they were chasing, booting and dropping softballs all over the field, I was two days in the future; in the middle of a fairway staring-down a 130-yard approach to a small green and well-positioned pin.

It was a happy daydream…until I took my swing. For some reason, I was using a baseball grip and I lined the ball into the left woods. No doubt it would have been a sharp single in the game I was actually playing, but in my golf dream-sequence, it was OB and a two-stroke penalty.

Now don’t get me wrong, I like softball. But I couldn’t help thinking in that moment; is it worth ruining my golf swing over? I was asked to join this softball team mid-season last year and only played 6 games with them (they were terrible then too). I played baseball as a kid, but stopped after Babe Ruth league so I could join my high school golf team. When I got older, I always avoided playing softball in fear of it screwing up my golf swing (though Stinky Golfer Chris has played softball for years and doesn’t really complain about it messing with his swing).

Anyway, I threw caution to the wind and decided to play a full softball season this year. After all, I hadn’t noticed much of a change on the links at the end of last season, but this year my golf game has really slipped (my average is down about 4 or 5 strokes). I can’t help but wonder if it’s all due to my softball swing? I’ve searched online for an answer and the majority of people say the two swings can have adverse effects on each other (coincidentally, serious softball and baseball players worry that golf will damage their baseball swings).

Here’s the thing though; I’m not sure I care anymore! Sure I want to play better golf, but let’s face it; I’m not qualifying for any tours in the near future. I’ve spent most of my adult life playing one sport; never letting myself indulge in any other sport in fear I may compromise my golf game in some way, shape or form. Well, not anymore. I think I’m just going to have to deal with losing a few strokes off my golf game – or, if it really matters to me, start going to the range more so I can curb the effects from my baseball swing.

I love golf, but we’ve all heard the saying “act your age.” That being said, I think it’s time I started acting like the average hack that I am – which means not taking my flubs and duffs too seriously and for goodness sake, not worring about losing my golf “touch” on the softball diamond (even if my team is the Bad News Bears reincarnated).

Lost On The Links

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I'd play golf on that island all freaking day... (photo by Jason H. Smith / CC BY-SA 2.0)
I’d play golf on that island all freaking day… (photo by Jason H. Smith / CC BY-SA 2.0)

I’ll be honest, I had every intention of mailing this one in. What I mean is, I (along with a good portion of the rest of the country) was watching the Lost finale last night. I wasn’t thinking about golf, and I certainly wasn’t thinking about blogging about it. I was much more interested in Jack vs. Locke and what goofy comment Hurley was going to make next. But it ended up being Hurley who motivated me to make an effort here.

In watching the two hours of hype leading up to the actual episode, we were taken back to season 1. During that season, Hurley realizes they may be on the island for a while. So in a time when everyone else on the island is understandably freaking out, scared to death and confused….. Hurley is constructing a golf course. I didn’t realize until now the beauty of it. A simple thought popped into my mind – Life sucks…let’s play golf!

It’s like life for most of us. Well, life doesn’t necessarily suck. It just sucks sometimes. But when life sucks, we play golf. And that’s exactly what Hurley had in mind. They were playing golf simply for the fun of it. For the relatively short time they were on the course, golf was taking their minds off of the horrible situation they were in. They weren’t taking the game serious, and likely weren’t even keeping score. It made me realize, this is exactly how a round of golf should be.

OK, I can’t speak for everyone, but I’m certainly not stranded on an island due to a plane crash. But that’s not the point. The point is, my bills could be piling up, the kids may be pissing me off, the job might be incredibly stressful…but when I’m out on the course, none of that matters. Golf should be so simple for all of us. It shouldn’t be taken so seriously. It should be just a simple distraction for us. Something we do to keep our minds off of the things that will be there later.

So my swing isn’t perfect. I don’t putt all that well. My short game sucks. So what? What does any of that matter so long as I enjoy what I’m doing, right? If I was to get myself too wrapped up in trying so hard to do it all perfectly, it would no longer be fun. Rather, it would be more like a job. I don’t want my distractions from everyday life to become jobs. I don’t want to feel like I know I could do better and just wind up frustrated when I don’t. Where is the fun in that?

So, thank you Hurley. Thank you for reminding me this sport is just my distraction from the everyday world. Thank you for reminding me to not take it seriously. Thank you for reminding me that I should play this game for no reason other than the fun of it. It took a fictional character to remind me of these realities.

And to think….I was considering taking a lesson! Thank you again Hurley for saving me the time and money.

Golf and A Wife: A Tale of Three Women In One (Part 3)

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Picture the scene: It’s a spectacular Saturday morning. The sun is shining brightly, barely a cloud in the sky. It’s warm, but there’s a gentle breeze blowing making the temperature feel about as comfortable as it can get – warm enough for short-sleeves and shorts, but not so warm that you’ll be sweating like a hog by the 8th hole.

It’s the nicest day of the year by far. It’s the perfect day for golf. Your clubs are clean and shiny, new spikes in the shoes, no sore muscles. You’re all dressed and ready to go. You’re just about to head out the door for another wonderful day on the course. And then it happens.

Have your ears deceived you? No. You heard it exactly right. Your wife just said “Maybe I’ll come with you?” As if she was a Jeopardy contestant, she stated it in the form of a question. But you already know…that was no question. Nope. She just told you she’s going with you.

People always say “It’s not what you say, but how you say it.” Normally that’s true. But not in this case. In this case, it’s both. It’s what she said AND how she said it. But not believing your ears, you ask for confirmation anyway. I mean, it’s possible she said something else and you misunderstood right? Maybe she said something that just sounded like it. Maybe she said “Who’s going with you?” or “I think I’ll wear blue.” or “Hey honey, why don’t you stay out as long as you would like, play golf for a while, drink beer and smoke cigars with your friends and come home whenever you feel like it?” It’s possible. So you give it a shot – “What’s that babe? I couldn’t quite hear you over the sound of my clubs rattling in the bag.” But it’s worse the second time. Now it’s like the scenes from the movies where everything slows down and the voice drops to that deep bass tone, like a 78 RPM record being played at 33 1/3. “I…said…, maybe…I’ll…come…with…you.” You cringe. Now what?

The kicker for me is, my wife doesn’t play golf. Doesn’t care about it, doesn’t want to know about it. She couldn’t tell you the difference between a putter and a bogey. But what she does know is it’s a nice day and the golf course is a great place to relax, have a drink and get some sun without having to put on a bathing suit and get sand in her shoes.

Now I’ve taken my wife to the range before. It was a sight, for lack of a better term. Handing her a club was like handing a cell phone to my grandmother. Some things are better left in the hands of others. I’m no PGA pro and I sure as hell shouldn’t be teaching anyone the proper mechanics of the golf swing. But I do know the basics. I tried to pass those basics along to her, but it was no use. You ever see a baby just learning how to walk? It’s walking into things and falling down and you can’t help but to laugh. Picture that baby with a golf club in one hand, completely throwing off it’s balance even further, and a glass of Jack Daniels in the other. It was like that. But less graceful.

So why on earth does she want to come with me? She’s not going to play. She’s going to be bored out of her mind. And she couldn’t care less about the conversation going on between my friends and I. As a matter of fact, she’d probably be offended, or even repulsed by it! But for some reason, she wants to come.

But I think I know what it is. I think I might know why she wants to come. And better yet, I think I know how to fend her off. So I’m going to take a shot at it. Here I go…

“But honey, we’re not taking a cart. It’s such a beautiful day, we’re going to walk the course.” She responds “Walk?! Forget it. I’ll go shopping instead.” It worked! She just wanted to ride in the cart! I try to tell her that it’s not all that much fun, but those guys on Jackass sure do make it look like a better time than it is.

When we get to the course, I tell the guys about what happened at home and how my wife almost showed up with us. We all had a good laugh before we strapped our bags to the back of the carts and drove-off to the first tee.

So there you have it. The final chapter of the tale of my three wives in one. Fellas, if your wife is anything like mine, then I hope I’ve helped you to understand that you are not alone. Maybe I’ve even provided some insight somehow. However, if your wife is nothing like this, then I at least hope I have provided you with some type of entertainment at my own expense. If this is the case…you’re welcome.

Teaching Golf to the Next Generation

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It's on us to teach golf to youngsters...
Teaching golf shouldn’t only be about scoring low…

I don’t know about you, but I hate that guy who lives vicariously through his kid. You know the guy…he’s relentlessly pushing his kid to do something that he never did or never could do back when he had his chance. He played baseball in high school so his kid has no choice but to play also. And not just play, but play better than he did. The kid could throw a two-hit shutout and strike out fifteen batters, but all his father can say to him is, “What happened? How did you give up those two hits?”

This is the type of parent who is convinced that his son, if pushed hard enough, is the second coming of Cy Young. He’s the type of guy who helps you to understand why there are fights between little league coaches and parents. You just want to say to him “Hey buddy, you’re kid’s not the next Ted Williams. But he’s going to be the next Ted Bundy if you don’t let up on him a little!”

Being a big sports fan myself, I was excited when my boys started showing interest in competitive sports. We started with basketball, moved on to football, they both seemed to have ignored baseball for some reason, and are now back to basketball, at which they both seem to excel. I don’t push them hard and I don’t expect perfection. But I do expect them to try hard, listen to their coaches and show good sportsmanship. I keep in mind they are kids, and I let them be kids. And now my oldest (11 years) has shown an interest in golf.

For most of my life I lived within a couple minutes of a golf course, but I was never very interested in the game. It may have been because my father didn’t play. It may have been because I was interested in faster-paced, contact sports and golf was just too slow. Whatever the reason, golf just didn’t interest me. It wasn’t until I was in my mid- to late-twenties that my golf-playing buddies finally convinced me to give the game a chance, and I’m glad they did. I only wish I had started sooner. So a few months before his eleventh birthday, my oldest son was telling friends and family he wanted money in lieu of presents. He was planning on using the money to purchase his own set of golf clubs….which he did late in the summer.

It was a bit too late in the golf season here in the northeast to give him enough practice time to get him out on a course right away. But that didn’t deter my excitement, or his. We have spent plenty of time just working on his swing. We’ve spent a good amount of time at the local driving range. I’m sure by now he’s sick of hearing me tell him everything he’s doing wrong. But I try to explain to him there are so many things involved in a swing that so many things can go wrong. He gets frustrated because he is pretty athletic and he expects to get it right. But at the same time, he understands that it takes a lot of practice. I’m proud of him because, at this age, I know how I would have reacted at this point – I would have dropped the clubs and picked up a basketball. But to his credit, he hasn’t done that. He’s trying and he’s trying hard.

With the off-season just about upon us, I’m hoping to keep his interest throughout until the spring comes around again. There’s a pretty nice indoor facility where my buddies and I will head a couple times throughout the winter. I’m looking forward to taking him there and he’s looking forward to going. Granted, I had to mention the several golf simulators in the facility…but like I said, I want him to hold interest until the spring. If it takes a giant video game to help do that, then so be it.

I’m glad to see him starting early. I’m glad to see him trying hard. But most of all, I’m glad that he’s showing the interest to begin with. I’m happy to watch him hit a perfectly straight shot, and even happier to see his smile afterward. And in a strange way, I’m glad to see his reaction when he screws up his next one. It tells me that he’s taking it seriously and he’s serious about getting it right.

But I’ll tell you one thing I’m not too happy about…at this early start, one day soon he’s going kick my butt up and down the fairway. Then maybe I’ll wish he stuck to the other sports!

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