GolfStinks

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Prepping For The New Golf Season

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It’s late March and for the first time in 2011 I was invited to play 9. I politely declined. Why? Well, it’s still just too cold. While the sun was shining and there was not a cloud in the sky, the temps barely rose above 40 degrees. And as I’ve mentioned before, I don’t play if the temps are below 50 degrees.

But being asked to play today has made me realize how close golf season actually is. Additionally, it had made me realize how unprepared I was! Practicing over the winter, equipment, apparel…I see now that I had better get on the stick! So I got started right away.

I’m all set with the basics – clubs and a bag. Although my bag, well one of the legs anyway, is in rough shape, it will hold up fine for this season. The clubs have only a half-season on them, so those are fine also. But I’m sure going to need something to hit, right? So balls are the first thing on my list. Turns out, this is a nice time to buy golf balls! I found myself a couple of boxes of Callaway Diablos, normally $25 to $30 for a box of 12 that must have been left over from last season, for only $13! Hopefully I’ll have the same luck with some of the other accessories I still need.

Next on the list for me are new shoes. I’ve been kicking myself since attending the Connecticut Golf Show last weekend and not taking advantage of the deals some of the retailers were touting. I’ve been pushing the same pair of Foot-Joy’s for a while now and it’s certainly time to let them go – No more just changing the spikes.

Last, but certainly not least, is practice. I simply haven’t practiced enough this winter. I’ve only been to the indoor facility twice, and one of those times was just to play the simulator with my kids! So I haven’t worked on my swing, drives, short game, putting…nothing! Now, as you may or may not know by now, I don’t particularly care how well I play. But, I do want to at least give myself a chance and somewhat appear to know what I’m doing. Will that happen without any off-season work? I’d rather not find out. So it looks like I’ll be planning a last-second trip or two to the range.

So, for us golfers here in the Northeast, the season is right around the corner. Hopefully, you’re better prepared for it than I am. And for those of you living where there is no off-season, aren’t you glad you don’t have to go through this every year?

Swing ’til you’re happy!

Counterfeiting Golf Clubs (Follow-Up)

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Callaway authenticA little over a year ago, I posted about the growing problem of counterfeit golf clubs. But recently, Callaway has come forth with a new innovation to help combat this problem.

According to a company press release, its new labeling system (which has been rolled-out only in Australia and New Zealand thus far) will require a polarized film to view the authentic label (see picture at left). Callaway says this safeguard will provide consumers a guarantee of authenticity (I hear you, it would suck to buy a set of clubs for $500-plus and find out they are fugazi’s).

Apparently, club counterfeiting at this level is something that has been going on for a few years now. Back in 2007, the folks at globalgolf.com, along with WRAL, did a story on phony clubs (check it out HERE). And then there’s this great video from last year explaining how to spot a counterfeit (will the beginning golfer be able to tell?):

This makes me wonder; if these counterfeiters put the same effort they exerted in counterfeiting into something legit, they would probably be doing just as well. Needless to say, they also wouldn’t have the stress or fear of getting caught lurking over them. But, I guess if this world didn’t have counterfeiters, we wouldn’t know what’s real.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!! Use a real club…

Help! I Need New Golf Clubs!

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Time for new clubs? (photo by Jeff Egnaczyk / CC BY 2.0)
Time for new clubs? (photo by Jeff Egnaczyk / CC BY 2.0)

So I have this set of golf clubs, right? Thing is, I’ve had these golf clubs for some time…going on twelve years now. Actually, it’s the first set of golf clubs I had ever purchased when I was originally introduced to this great game.

The set came with irons three through nine, three woods (driver, 3 and 5) and a pitching wedge. Two of those woods (the driver and the three) are long gone…as is the wedge. The driver was once replaced with a nice Callaway Big Bertha. I lost the ability to hit that straight and it no sooner found its way to eBay. I replaced the wedge with one I received as a gift and added another one later.

Putters have come and gone. Bags have done the same. But what’s remained consistent through all of the change surrounding them are my original irons and trusty five wood. They do the job, and my five wood off the tee is probably the most consistent club in my bag.

I want to sit here and say I have this emotional attachment to my clubs, and that’s why I still have them. I want to say they are good enough for me and new clubs aren’t going to make me any better or improve my game at all. I also don’t want to lie. Neither of the two previous statements are true. I want new clubs. I need new clubs. I just can’t friggin’ afford them!

Now I know some of you are probably saying to yourselves the same things I’ve said to myself. “I don’t need to spend $1,000 to get a good set of clubs” or “Just get a decent set of irons for now and worry about the driver and other stuff later.” I’ve got that down. I’ve tried a bunch of clubs and have pretty much narrowed it to a few relatively affordable sets. The problem is…I still just can’t friggin’ afford them!

So my new quest has been to discover WHY I can’t afford them. I’ve narrowed that down to three issues:

#1 – My own foolishness with my money:
A few years ago, I got into a car accident. I was uninjured, but my car was totaled. The other guy’s insurance company however, did not want the car. So they offered me a nice amount of money to just keep it – an offer which I gladly accepted. The car was drivable, just a bit unattractive. But hey, it was paid off and the insurance company gave me more money to keep driving it! So I have this nice sum of money now. But instead of doing something responsible with it – like buying a new set of golf clubs – I decided to purchase a sports car that I had wanted for a few years. So now, terrible gas mileage, many high car payments and expensive maintenance bills later…I have no new golf clubs. Good job Chris.

#2 – My wife:
Hey guys…does your better half buy a ton of purses? Well, for your sake…I hope not. But unfortunately, I’m sure they do. My wife calls them pocketbooks. I call them the bane of my golf existence. My wife somehow believes they are necessary. I can understand they are necessary…in limited quantities. I do not understand why so many are necessary! At any point in the day, there are at least two of these in her car, several more in our bedroom, maybe one or two in the family room, and who knows how many in random closets throughout the house! The cost of these things interferes with the cost of my new clubs! How do I know how much they cost? I don’t. But what I do know is I have to order Rosetta Stone to pronounce the names! That makes them too expensive. Honey, if you’re reading this….we have to suspend your next purchase or two. You have enough. I need clubs. I’ll bet if my clubs were made by some famous Italian fashion house I would have them by now! Of course, if that was the case…she would have taken up golf already.

#3 – My job:
See, the problem with my job is…I currently don’t have one. I guess I don’t really need to go into much detail here. The fact that I don’t currently have a job is explanation enough. But, since roughly 1 out of 7 people in the country play golf, and 1 out of every 10 adults in the country are unemployed right now…I’m sure I’m not the only golfer currently dealing with this problem.

So there it is in a nutshell. Three reasons I have not purchased new clubs, and may not purchase them anytime soon. Getting a job would help. So if anyone is hiring, please hit me up. I’m willing to do just about anything if the pay is good enough, as long as it involves keeping my clothes on. It’s not that I wouldn’t take my clothes off for money….it’s just that you don’t want to see it. Trust me.

I just want new clubs.

Counterfeiting Golf Clubs?

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Handcuffs01_2003-06-02I guess with any billion-dollar industry there are some scumbags trying to get a piece of it. I came across some stories straight out of the counterfeit capital of the world…China. For some reason you can buy a Rolex, Louis Vuitton bag, Gucci shoes, a bottle of Viagra and…Callaway Golf Clubs? All for around $250. Amazing, I know! What deals they have…

In March of 09,the Beijing Chaoyang Administration for Industry and Commerce (AIC) and the Chaoyang Public Security Bureau (PSB) jointly conducted raids against an assembly and warehouse facility of the Sunshine Golf Store located at Shangxinpu, Huanggang Village, Chaoyang District, Beijing.The owner and seven other persons were arrested by the PSB after the raid. The raids resulted in the seizure of nearly 10,000 pieces of counterfeit golf equipment, including more than 740 assembled golf clubs, 1,500 club heads, 4,700 golf grips, 2,300 shafts, 280 headcovers and assorted golf towels, golf bags and apparel.

The seized goods were illegal copies of authentic products made by all six (comprised of Acushnet Company, Callaway Golf, Cleveland Golf, Nike Golf, PING and TaylorMade Golf Company) of the Group’s members. It is anticipated that Chinese authorities will pursue criminal prosecutions in this case.*

 

 

You know, this really chaps my ass. Not only do I have to worry about playing poorly, now I have to worry about using bunk clubs. I guess that could be a good out for those players that will blame their grandmother’s cooking from last week as to why they’re playing like crap. “Hey man, I don’t suck, these clubs are counterfeit!” It never ends.

Is that why you were late too…because you’re Faux-lex watch wasn’t working and that Niagra you took last night had you going to the bowl more times than the University of Alabama’s football team? Oh man, the nerve…now where’s my faux iron…?

*http://ir.callawaygolf.com/phoenix.zhtml?c=68083&p=irol-newsArticle&ID=1272414&highlight=

Related Posts: Counterfeiting Golf Clubs (Follow-Up)

A Few Golf Items Not Under My Tree

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Is it just me, or is there always a person or company that just pushes things a bit too far in this capitalist economy? Example: There’s been no greater invention in recent memory than the push-up bra. But remember the $2 million, diamond-encrusted creation from a few years back? That’s what I’m talking about. What’s the point? Who is wearing it and why? Is the $40 push-up from Victoria’s Secret not good enough? I know it is for me.

Well, it seems this mind-set extends into the golf world also. Apparently renting a golf cart at the course is not good enough for some. Maybe dropping $2,000-$3,000 on your own personal cart is not quite enough either. No, some people are just not satisfied until they are cruising the fairways in this:

That’s right. A Hummer Golf Cart with a body kit officially licensed by General Motors. There’s a lift kit, embroidered-leather seats, aluminum rims, wood grain dash, working headlights and turn signals and even a cooler built into the hood. Price: $20,000.

Maybe you prefer to walk the course though. As nice as the above cart may be, you think you get a better feel for the course by walking it. But if you’re going to walk that rough golf course terrain, you certainly can’t do it in some $350 Nike’s. And for one reason or another even the $400 Ecco’s just aren’t comfortable enough. You need something that is custom built for your foot and your foot alone. Enter John Lobb:

John Lobb Bootmakers will be more than happy to hand-make you this fantastic pair of golf shoes in your choice of calf, crocodile or elephant leathers, for the bargain basement price of only $5,000. Now I’m all for a pair of comfortable shoes, but for that kind of money I had better be able to wear these as everyday shoes and just speak the words “Go, go gadget golf spikes” whenever I’m ready to hit the course. Until then, I’ll stick with my Foot-Joy’s. On the flip-side though, if they’re good enough for James Bond….

What about your clubs? Are those shiny new $1,500 Callaway’s not enough to boost your ego or impress your playing partners? Then you may be in need of these:

Honma Golf of Japan will custom make one amazing set of clubs for you. And when I say custom, I’m talking custom like no other. You can choose the head shape, size, weight, grip and shaft. In addition you can also decide just how much 24k gold plating you would like. Would you like some platinum detail? Just ask and it’s yours. They would even be happy to engrave your initials on each club. Price on these masterpieces? Roughly $53,000 for a set of fourteen clubs.

A set of clubs like that surely cannot be carried in just any bag, right? Well, that’s where French fashion house Louis Vuitton comes in. LV dips their toes into the golf market with this:

Presenting the LV Damier Geant golf bag. It’s made of canvas and cowhide, comes with a zip-up hood, it’s own cover and even an umbrella. Louie V. also promises “many pockets.” For a starting price of $9,750, I’d have to say I was hoping for more. Do canvas and cowhide make this bag worth $9,630 more than my TaylorMade bag? Well I guess since it comes with it’s own umbrella….

All of the above accesories, as ridiculous as they may be, are trumped by the following. Ladies and Gentlemen, ladies especially, feast your eyes on this:


Thanks to Tri Mark Golf we are all now blessed with the worlds most expensive golf ball marker. This 18k white gold piece is marked with diamonds, citrine, amethyst and peridot stones. Sound a bit too nice to simply lay down on the ground? Don’t worry…it doubles as a necklace. Price: $10,000. And I was floored when I saw custom ball markers for $25!

Last, but certainly not least, is somewhere to use all of these fine accesories. Well, keeping with the theme of things, how about the worlds most expensive round of golf? For that, we’ll have to head to Barbados, home of Sandy Lane Spa & Resort.

Sandy Lane is home to three Tom Fazio courses, including the famous Green Monkey. At $385 per round, the course is certainly not the most expensive, but the fees are only part of the story. You see, Green Monkey is open only to guests of the resort. Minimum price for one room for one night? $2,000. Total for one round of golf at Green Monkey – $2,385!

I guess even in these poor economic times, there is still money to be spent foolishly. A $10,000 ball marker? My ball marker comes in denominations of one cent, five cents, ten cents and twenty-five cents – depending upon which coin I pull out of my pocket first. But hey, if you have this kind of money and it’s no problem for you to spend it, then enjoy. I don’t know that feeling and I’m quite sure I may never know it. But something tells me if I did, I could still find better things to do with $20,000 than spend it on a Hummer golf cart.

Well…., maybe not.

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