Here at the Golf Stinks blog, we certaintly do our part in blaming the pro tours and the media for sending the wrong message about this fantastic sport.

And, while acknowledging the economy is a major factor, we still highlight things that the golf industry can do to help drive new people to the game (I’d normally add a link here to prove my point, but we’ve literally written so much, it will be easier for you to just look at our archive section in the right-hand sidebar).

That all being said, I thought it would be interesting to talk with a non-golfer about their perceptions of the sport. I wonder if many of the golf stereotypes are true? To that end, my brother-in-law happens to be in town and I know he’s never played golf before.

Let’s see what a 30-year-old non-golfer has to say about…well, golf:

Q: What type of person plays golf?
A: Retired. Retirees. And anybody else that has a lot of money and a lot of free time.

Interviewer’s note: Why am I not surprised by this answer?

Q: Do you think a person has to be rich to play golf?
A: Maybe not rich, but you definitely have to have…It’s an expensive hobby. Golf clubs aren’t cheap. Courses aren’t cheap. I think probably the cheapest thing about golf would be buying the balls.

Q: When someone mentions they play golf, what’s the first thought that pops into your head?
A: I picture them in golf clothes – especially like those knickers and that hat with the poof on top.

Interviewer’s note: I’m never telling anyone I play golf again.

Q: When you hear the name Tiger Woods, what comes to mind?
A: Sell-out. I think of all his merchandise, video games. I mean, I’m sure he’s a good golfer and all, but his stuff is is everywhere.

Q: As a follow-up to that, what about the Tiger sex scandal?
A: It’s no different than any other celeb…he was married; boinked around, blah, blah, blah…same old story.

Interviewer’s note: Well put.

Q: OK, so we know you don’t play golf. Have you ever held a club?
A: Yeah, at the mini golf course.

Q: So you’ve played mini golf – what are your impressions of that?
A: I like it. I have fond memories of hitting a ball off a couple of walls into a giant plastic castle.

Interviewer’s note: This is why Caddyshack 2 sucked.

Q: You’ve mentioned you know the basic terms and rules in other sports like [American] football and baseball. Do you think you have a basic understanding of golf’s terms and rules? Please elaborate.
A: Yeah. Get the ball in the hole in as few hits as possible and always play the ball where it lies.

Interviewer’s note: “Always play the ball where it lies.” At what point did we weekend golfers stop following the very fundamentals of this game? Be honest…

Q: Do you know what a birdie means in golf?
A: That’s when you make it in the hole with …[pause]… with one stroke fewer than par [looks at interviewer unsure of himself].

Interviewer: That’s very good!
Non-Golfer: And I only know that from all the video games.
Interviewer: I see. The ones with Tiger Woods you mean?
Non-Golfer: Yeah [laughs].

Q: Do you think golf courses are a waste of natural resources and/or prime real estate?
A: No, because if a golf course fails, it can be easily converted into a very scenic park.

Interviewer’s note: I’m totally going to use that answer.

Q: Would you ever consider taking up golf?
A: I have [thought about it], but I always figured it would be when I was older – when [I have] nothing to do and [I] need exercise.

Interviewer’s note: So to this non-golfer, we’re a bunch of old rich guys with nothing to do and who need exercise. Hmmmm. When you think about it, that pretty much hits every golf stereotype on the head. I think I should interview other non-golfers and see if the answers are similar. Till then…