GolfStinks

A Golf Blog for the Rest of Us!

Replace the Sharpie with GolfBallStamp.net

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00233-1-logoImageAs an average hack, I go through multiple balls per round – some go in the drink, while others are donated to the lumber yard. Then there are the ones that are simply misidentified: You see a ball in the fairway and are positive it’s yours – you hit a great approach, only to arrive at the green and realize it’s not the ball you teed off with!

So to avoid such errors, we end up marking our golf balls. Using a Sharpie or other permanent pen, we clumsily draw some sort of shape on the side of ball. Have you ever tired to draw on a spherical object, especially one as small as a golf ball? Let’s just say it’s not the easiest thing to do. Thus, we end up just adding a few dots. The trouble is, everybody else has dots on their ball too!

Enter GolfBallStamp.net. This simple stamp can be customized with your initials, favorite shape, or other image that you identify with (e.g. a bullseye, kitty cat, skull and crossbones, wrench or even a tank)! In addition, you have your choice of red, blue or black ink.

golfstinks, golf stinks

So when I was contacted by the folks over at GolfBallStamp.net, I was interested in customizing my own stamp and testing it out for myself. The idea of having an easy way to apply a consistent marking on several balls was appealing to me. The design needed to be simple, but I still wanted to see if I could achieve some customization in terms of the font and image. Thus, I decided to use the “G” font from our Golfstinks logo and include a box around it (see image to the left).

I submitted my artwork and promptly received a personal email back from the company reminding me I forgot to specify which ink color I wanted. Technically, our logo is a very dark green, so dark in fact, I figured they would just consider it black. But these guys are good – they immediately recognized the color was not black and reached out to confirm – great attention to detail!

About a week later, my customized golf ball stamp arrived. I had watched their video on how to prep and use the stamp, so I was ready to go! They recommend practicing on a few older balls first to get the hang of it and then switching to your game balls.

Our final product with the stamp
Our final product with the stamp

I have to say that overall, I was pleased with the results (see image above). Now I must add that this stamp doesn’t replace professionally stenciled logo balls. If you want your company logo printed on a ball in the highest quality, this product is not the answer. Instead, the Golf Ball Stamp is meant as an easy way to personalize your golf balls and for me, seems to be a much faster and more consistent way to do so than using a Sharpie or the like.

And as always, whenever we here at GolfStinks review a product, we don’t think it’s fair that we have all the fun testing it out. As such, the good folks over at the Golf Ball Stamp have agreed to send a $30 gift certificate to one of you for ordering your own personalized stamp! All you have to do is go over to our Facebook page and  “Like” the post on the wall entitled “Replace the Sharpie with GolfBallStamp.net” – that’s it! We’ll choose one random winner next week!

Good luck and never hit the wrong ball again!

Does Cheating at Golf Make it More Enjoyable?

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PolaraGolfCheat: act dishonestly or unfairly in order to gain an advantage, esp. in a game or examination.

The meaning of the word “cheat” – by sheer definition – suggests trickery and fraud. Cheating in games and sports has been well documented. Perhaps the most recognizable cheat in American sports would be the corked bat in baseball. Or more recently the whole PED thing. In both instances, enhancements to either body or equipment has be employed to gain an advantage (in this case, more power). And both instances are widely regarded as cheats by the general public.

Well, golf also has its cheats. Be it employment of the toe iron or some unconventional math, there are golfers out there willing to employ such tactics. And while PED’s might certainly be utilized by some golfers at the pro level, there are equipment cheats out there for us average hacks to purchase and utilize as well.

For example, the company Polara Golf has made its mark in the industry by providing equipment that exceeds USGA limitations – all so you can hit it farther and more accurately. Beginning with the introduction of their “self-correcting golf ball” a couple years ago and now unveiling their new “Advantage Driver” this month, the company’s mission statement is “to make the game of golf more fun.” But I question the longevity of that fun.

Clearly their products are aimed at the amateur golfer, rather than the pro. Not that I’m condoning it, but at least the pros do it for the money – we amateur golfers don’t have that option. So the only reason for us to cheat would be to deceive others into thinking we’re better than we actually are. That may make us feel better once or twice, but in the end, who are we really fooling?

Now, some of you may be thinking that technically, amateur golfers could cheat for money – for example, if there were a friendly wager on the round. But how long until your playing partner recognizes your shiny new club? He’ll cry foul and make you put it away. Or, he’ll go get one himself and use it until both of you start to believe you really did just shave 5 strokes off your average.

Will you tell people your new 18-hole average when they ask? Because in the back of your mind, you’ll know it’s not your real average or handicap. While new distance or accuracy may give you temporary satisfaction, eventually you will come to realize you’re a fraud.

Polara Golf has got it all wrong. You don’t need to pretend you’re a better golfer, because golfing is not about how good you are – it’s about how much you love this game and how much this game means to you regardless of your handicap. True enjoyers of golf play not for their score, but for everything else this game has to offer: Being outdoors; camaraderie; friendly competitiveness. These are the reasons we love golf. If we only loved golf because we were good at it, most of us would have quit a long time ago.

Golf is a game; you should have fun playing it…not cheating at it.

How to Ditch Work to Play Golf

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Everyone needs a ditch-day every once-in-a-while. And for many of us, this ditch-day typically includes a trip to the golf course. Now your boss would say the proper way to play golf during the work week is to take a vacation day – but not me. No sir, I say there are ways to sneak in 9- or 18-holes while still saving that precious PTO for things that really matter (like a week of golf in some tropical locale, for example).

But how do you secure a round of golf on work time? Well, below are some ways to ditch work and play golf:

Take a Sick Day: The most obvious way to ditch work is to call in sick. And while I’m sure we’ve all feigned illness to goof-off before, perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to review a few pointers: First, make it something not too serious, but still contagious. Or make it something that limits your mobility – this is important so they won’t question your staying home. I knew one guy who actually used the excuse that he threw his back out while…wait for it…playing golf! And steer-clear of Mondays and Fridays: Besides the fact that three-day weekends are a red flag to most bosses, many courses charge weekend rates on Fridays! Finally, don’t do it at the beginning of the golf season or that first warm day after winter – not only is it an obvious red flag, but you might run into your boss out on the course!

But what if your company counts sick days as vacation days? Well, read on!

Plan a Golf Business Meeting: They say the golf course is the birth place for many business deals. Does your client golf? If so, this may be the perfect cover to play golf on work time. Sure, you’ll talk shop while playing but you’re still out on the course! Plus, if a deal or up-sell comes from it, then you might be playing more golf on company time in the future! If your client doesn’t golf, still have lunch with them at the club’s restaurant. After your business meeting, squeeze in a little practice putting or time on the range. If you’re feeling really adventurous, try to play a quick 9! So the lunch ran a bit longer than expected…big deal.

Visit a Client: Visiting a client can be the perfect cover for golf – especially if getting to said client requires air travel and hotel accommodations. Of course, you must actually visit your client, but once that’s over and done with, schedule that return flight a little later so you can squeeze in golf. No need to travel with your clubs – rent at the course and enjoy! If your client is more local, just plan to be gone the entire afternoon. Meet with your client and squeeze in 9-holes after the meeting. Planning is key: Make sure you choose a course along your route or near the airport. And use your judgement – if the meeting is local and is expected to last 30 minutes and it’s only 2PM, perhaps it’s better to just head back to the office instead.

Simply Ask: Finally, while this one may be pretty simple, it really works! You simply ask to leave work early. Now, there’s some planning involved: Catch up on your work; finish that report ahead of time; get everything done. Then go see the boss and explain you’re all caught up on things and you were hoping to take off a bit early. Many bosses (especially those that measure output rather than input) will oblige. But don’t try this too often (once or twice a year max) and there is the chance your boss could say no. If the latter, at least you know not to try it again!

Disclaimer: Keep in mind calling in sick requires some sort of deception. While Golfstinks doesn’t condone that kind of behavior, it is an option none-the-less. Meanwhile, the rest of the options are legitimate (and fairly benign) ways to truly play golf on company time. Our suggestion is to try the latter options first and if those don’t work (or are not options for your type of job), know that feigning illness is available. Just don’t blame us if you get caught!

Is Golf Meant for the Rich?

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golfstinks, golfsitnksTo many non-golfers, the title of this post has a very clear and direct answer: Yes.

But for those of us who play love this game, the answer isn’t that easy. After all, many of us don’t consider ourselves rich.

Most of us have to work for a living at a modest job – we’re not jet-setters, leisurely golfing around the globe at some exotic locale like Abu Dhabi or Thailand.  Nor do we tee-it-up daily at some hoity-toity private club where late-model luxury sedans fill the parking lot.

No sir, we drive our Honda Accord or Ford Fusion to the local public course and fork-over $60 to squeeze in 18-holes every Saturday. I say “squeeze” because inevitably we have to return home to mow the lawn before it gets too dark. Clearly we aren’t rich, so the headline of this post is a bit perplexing to us.

What we forget though, is that we’re the middle class…and we can afford golf. We can afford $125 for a pair of golf shoes every year or two; we can spend $600 or $700 on a new set of clubs every 5 to 7 years; we have a closet full of polo shirts that we already wear to work; and we have an extra 60 to 100 bucks a week to plunk down on greens fees. We may not always be happy with the costs associated with golf, but we pay them because (a) we love this game and (b) we can afford to pay them.

However, there are many, many people who cannot afford to play golf. Golf is not soccer or baseball – where you can organize a quick game at the local park. Nor is it basketball – where you can just show up at the courts down the street and play a quick pick-up game for free.

The mere fact that you have to pay to play golf sets it apart. In fact, you even have to pay to practice golf. Let’s ponder this for a second: First you pay to learn golf; then you pay to practice golf; and then you pay to actually play golf. Add to that the costs associated with clubs, balls and apparel and you begin to get the picture.

The USGA and other authoritative organizations within the industry want to grow the game. They want to bring golf to inner-city kids and others who wouldn’t normally have an opportunity to play. I say kudos to them. But this is not an easy task. The very foundational structure of golf requires the need for money. And not just initial money to learn the game – but liquid cash on hand throughout a lifetime of playing the game. We can get them started, but will they be able to continue?

Something within golf needs to change in order bring more diversity to the game. Perhaps golf course developers need to consider creating (or investing in) more 9-hole or Executive-style links – this would provide an inexpensive alternative to the typical 18-hole facility. These smaller tracts would be more cost effective to run and serve as a training ground for newer golfers and/or those who simply can’t afford 18-hole greens fees.

Funneling money to smaller-sized courses is just one possible solution – I’m sure there are many others – like removing this notion that every part of the golf course must be lush and green (AKA the Augusta effect). But ultimately, the point is something needs to change or the dream of growing the game will forever be…a dream.

So, is golf meant for the rich? Well, let’s put it this way: It’s certainly not meant for the poor.

Are Golf Course Closures a Good Thing?

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According to a recent report from the NGF (National Golf Foundation), new golf course openings are at “historic lows,” while course closures continue to pile up. While many will take this as a negative sign within the industry, perhaps we should look at it from a different angle?

Here’s a breakdown of golf course openings and closures last year:

golf course openings and closures
Source: NGF

So what does the above graphic tell us? Well, that in 2012, only 13.5 18-hole facilities opened compared to 154.5 that closed. But beyond that, it tells us that the closures mostly stemmed from Daily Fee and Muni-type courses (90%). And of those, nearly 70 percent had greens fees under $40.

So what?

Well, this means lower-end courses are the ones folding. While that may not bode too well for your particular community, it might be a good sign for golf as a whole. Courses offering 18-holes of golf for under $40, at least in my area, are typically not the most well-maintained tracts of land around; there are usually waits on multiple tee boxes; and inevitably end up becoming training grounds for newbie golfers (hence the backups on the course – not from overuse, but instead from slow play).

Let me be clear here: Not every 18-hole facility with greens fees under $40 fits my description above – but, it is extremely difficult to operate a respectable 18-hole course in today’s economy…especially for under $40 per round. Thus the ones that are run the risk of being understaffed and in disrepair (prime candidates to buckle under tough economic times).

Now, there’s nothing wrong with learning the game at an inexpensive course, but perhaps a full-sized 18-hole facility isn’t the best place? There are many decent and inexpensive “9-hole” or “par 3” or “executive” courses out there (which are excluded from the graphic above) that offer a wonderful learning opportunity for newbies. This is where you need to go if you are transitioning from the driving range to the course.

No one asked for this economy, but the reality is we have it. And perhaps the 150+ courses that closed last year will ultimately benefit the golf industry as a whole. Because what we are left with is survival of the fittest. The better 18-hole facilities will remain – and that bodes well for when those golf newbies are ready to make the transition from a 9-hole or executive course to a bigger facility. They will not be disappointed with what they find – rather they will get to experience the best golf has to offer.

And if that happens, then you will have golfers for life.

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