You Ungrateful, Money-Hungry, Fair-Weather, Lazy Golfers!

what makes a golf course great - golfstinksEvery year, GolfStinks conducts a variety of polls intended on getting the average golfer’s opinion. Well, 2013 was no different – we held several polls and got very interesting responses for all of them – in particular, we have chosen to highlight the results from a few of those polls below…

Let’s begin in May of 2013, when Stinky Golfer Pete announced he was disappointed with the beer selection from the MOFOBETE (aka Cart Girl) on most golf courses. Pete complained the available beverages reminded him of the selection at a frat house and asked our readers if they felt the same. Well, overwhelmingly they did – 92% of you felt the beer selection on most golf courses was a bit…well, flat.  Courses – take note: we golfers want more beer choices! (See poll HERE).

Back in September, Stinky Golfer Greg wanted to know if you prefer playing 9 or 18 holes. Though he believed most would favor the longer round, he made some compelling arguments for only 9 holes – from time constraints to the original number of holes in ancient Scotland. Alas, his plea was in vain as the majority would indeed rather play 18 holes. Though not all was lost – we were surprised 32% of you favored the shorter round – which is more than we thought! (See poll HERE).

In August, we wanted to know how many of you bet on your golf game. And we weren’t content on this being a simple yes or no answer – we wondered if you’ve ever bet in your life and if so, how often. Somewhat surprisingly, the majority of you (33%) said you seldom bet. Of course, that implies you have indeed bet at some point in your life, just not too often. While 29% of you said you’ve never made a wager on your golf game, 19% say they do frequently. Perhaps most surprisingly, 10% of you claim to always make your round more interesting and 9% claim to do so about half of the time! (See poll HERE).

All the way back in January, Stinky Golfer Greg went into a rant about having to get up at the crack of dawn to play a round of golf. The relaying of this story prompted him to ask what time of day most golfers like to play. The choices were aplenty: from the crack of dawn (5-7am) to twilight (after 5pm) and several in between. The majority of you (33%) chose Late Morning (9-11am), while 29% of you chose Mid-Morning (7-9am). Golfing in the afternoon is less common – just 4% each for Early Afternoon (1-3pm) and Late Afternoon (3-5pm). Meanwhile, golfers tend to avoid Midday (11-1pm) and the Crack of Dawn. One surprise though was Twilight (after 5pm). This was the only option with 0% of the responses. We felt golfers would like to take advantage of twilight rates and/or an empty course. One thing’s for sure from this poll – the course will definitely be empty at that time! (See poll HERE).

Our final poll comes from the hot, sticky, summer month of July. We wanted to know how hot was too hot to play golf – and to that end, we decided to poll you about the temperatures you’d be willing to play in. Much to our surprise, the majority of you (36%) said it’s never too hot to play golf – not even when temps rise above 100 degrees (37.8C)! Meanwhile, 25% say it’s time to quit when the temperature reaches 95F/35C and 18% throw in the towel at 100F/37.8C. Eleven percent won’t play above 90F/32.2C, while a few golfers (10%) simply don’t like it warm at all and won’t step foot on a course if the temps are over 85F/29.4C. (See poll HERE).

So what have we learned from our 2013 polls? Well, that we’re all a bunch of ungrateful, money-hungry, fair-weather, lazy golfers, of course! Don’t worry, we’re planning on conducting many more polls this year – perhaps our reputations will be saved!


  1. Ted B. (Charging Rhino) says:

    Yes, I resemble that remark.

    Err, …as to Twilight Rates.
    Here in the Northeast US, twilight rates typically start at 2pm or 3pm. You can’t start after 5pm and play 18-holes even in the Summer, and by September it gets dicey if you can even finish 9-holes and finish with decent light. Our “5pm Friday League” actual starts at 430pm and we’re racing daylight to finish both in April, and in September and October. By late mid-September we move the tee-times to before 4pm just to finish 9-holes. By the end of our league’s season in early October, ‘playable sunset’ is about 615pm EDT…or earlier if it’s cloudy and overcast

    Once the Summer is over, our course goes to “twilight” or “afternoon” discounts at 130pm so you can play 18-holes.

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