Did you ever show up to one of your local golf tournaments and see this guy? Have you ever lined up for your first drive of the day but you blow it because you can’t get the image of this guy’s bowtie and knickers out of your head? Yeah, me too.
When I see this guy, I can’t help but wonder to myself if he is either celebrating golf history, or if he’s just an idiot trying to be funny. Does he just want to make people laugh? Did he lose a bet? Did someone tell him he had to dress this way as a prank? Is he a golf historian celebrating days gone by? Or, does he not know a thing about golf and feels this is the way he’s supposed to dress?
Recently, I was invited by my brother-in-law to play in a golf tournament. Unfortunately, it was on a Friday during the week my boss was on vacation and having the two of us out on the same day simply doesn’t work. So, despite exhausting every available option, I had to take a pass.
But what struck me funny about this is, my brother-in-law is not a golfer. He doesn’t play regularly. He doesn’t play on occasion. As far as I know, he has rarely played golf in his life. So why the interest to play in golf tournaments? My guess is, it has just about nothing to do with golf.
I would have to imagine that a good part of heading to a golf tournament as a non-golfer has to do with networking. But why golf? Why network at a golf tournament when you don’t play the sport? I’ve been to networking events that had certainly cost much less than what it costs to enter a golf tournament. Heck, I’ve been to several free networking events! So again, why a golf tournament?
Well, I think the simple answer is, it’s more fun! Consider what goes on at a golf tournament. I’ve played in tournaments which, for roughly $125 or so, there is unlimited breakfast food being given out right from the start. Beer is flowing from the early hours. Various types of alcohol are being given out on several holes throughout the round. And food… oh the food!! Besides a full dinner at the end of the round, there is food out on some of the holes as well. I recall playing in one tournament where a full pig roast was happening on one of the holes!!
With all of the food, the drinks and, of course, the round of golf…doesn’t this sound a whole hell of alot more fun than your average networking event?
I’ve been playing golf pretty regularly for a relatively long time now. I’ve played in a few golf tournaments and each one of them has been a good time. I’ve also been to a few networking events. Compared to the golf tournaments, they just seem like work. So is this why my brother-in-law chose the golf tournament, even though he doesn’t golf? It makes sense to me. Hell, I’ll choose a basket-weaving tournament if they’re providing all day long food and drinks! Nothing against basket-weaving. I’m sure a tournament (if one exists) is completely invigorating.
I guess the point is, if you have to do something work related, you may as well make a good time of it. Play in the golf tournament, whether you’re a golfer or not. You may find that you like the sport! And if not, chances are you’re going to have a good time anyway!
Swing ’til you’re happy!
You’ll Rue The Day You Crossed Me, Twain.
Mark Twain will go down in golf history as the one who claimed “Golf is a good walk, ruined.” All summer I’ve been chompin’ at the bit to get out and play a friggin’ round of golf. I want to ruin my walk. You see, I was thrown a curve (surgery) and I dealt with that and the recovery process for the past 3 months.
“I reverently believe that the Maker who made us all makes everything in New England but the weather. I don’t know who makes that…”
Enough about the scenery, let’s get back to the issue – this hurricane and me not golfing. I’m almost tempted to get out there early before Irene really hits us. I figure if I time it right and have the wind to my back…400 yard drives easily. Call me crazy but I’ll bet a light bulb just went on for a few of you. And no, I’m not really going to do that and I would advise you don’t either.
In all seriousness, if you are in the path of this storm please be safe…we want to see you out on the links again.
Hit’em long…yell FORE!!
The Things We Do For Golf
I have a buddy whose wife doesn’t let him play golf on the weekends (I know what you’re thinking…and I had the same reaction). It’s not like this guy loafs around Monday through Friday either – he has a full-time job! But, I try not to judge – there’s always reasons for your particular situation and perhaps his is well-warranted (probably not, but I’ll throw the poor guy a friggin’ bone).
Anyway, to get his golf fix, this guy has to squeeze in 9-holes before work. He had mentioned that to me previously, but I didn’t understand the gravity of the situation until I actually played with him one day. We had to tee off at 6:30AM so he could be at work by 9. On top of that, the course was 20 minutes from my house, which means I had to be up at 5:30AM to get myself dressed, grab some breakfast and get there on time.
Five-thirty in the morning. Some of you may think I’m a wimp, but realize I’m also part of Generation X. I don’t think we’ve ever gotten up at 5:30 in the morning…for anything. My great uncle would get up at 5:30AM every day – this was his routine ever since returning home from WWII. But me? There’s a reason they say “rise and shine” and if the sun ain’t up yet, neither am I.
But there I was, driving to the course still smarting about the hour. Yet, when I arrived, my buddy was as giddy as a school girl. He was so excited about playing with someone else, he was beside himself. And that got me thinking about the things we do for this game we love.
Everyday, golfers everywhere are moving things around on their calendars to make room for golf. Doctors are rescheduling surgeries appointments to make their tee-times; lawyers are cramming into the course parking lot the second court adjourns for the day; and the average Joe…he too is manuvering around his personal life’s responsibilities…just to play the game he loves.
Last year, I posted about how softball was ruining my golf swing. In that post, I declared I was no longer going to worry about what other “swinging” sports will do to my golf game. But for more than a decade, I refused to play softball because I didn’t want to screw up my golf swing. Think about that for a minute. I put-off having fun with my buddies in their Wednesday night softball league so I could continue hacking every weekend on the course. Where is the sense in that? But I did it because I loved golf.
What about clubs and equipment and apparel? We spend oodles. And golf gadgets? Wow. Stinky Golfer Chris and I are currently wearing a bracelet with a hologram on it in hopes of improving our balance on the course. WHY? Because we love golf.
Subscribe to any golf magazines? Ever spend money on lessons from a pro? Ever spend several minutes in Target (or Wal-Mart) trying to figure out which golf balls you should buy when your wife and child are waiting in the car and you were only supposed to be going in for a gallon of milk? We love golf.
And now perhaps the most controversial one: Have you ever spent a ton of money to play an awesome course you felt you really weren’t good enough to be playing in the first place? Ah yes…You love this game. And never be ashamed of playing a top-notch course. It doesn’t matter if your handicap is so high you’re embarrassed to tell people – treat yourself once in a while – you deserve it.
So remember: You don’t have to be good at golf to love it. Want proof? Think about all the things you do just to play it. Ah, the things we do for love golf.
The Best Swing Advice I’ve Ever Received
One of the things this blog prides itself on is NOT telling you how to improve your game. Sure, we may highlight a product or two that we feel is useful (like those neat pocket guides from Golf Genie). But what you won’t find is us telling you how to fix that hitch in your swing or how high to tee-up your ball…that’s just not us.
That being said, about nine months ago I wrote a post entitled; “I Get My Swing Advice from a Guy who Doesn’t Golf.” The book (Golf Sense – Practical Tips On How To Play Golf In The Zone) inspired me to proclaim the following:
“Golf Sense is packed with simple ways to put you in (and keep you in) a calm and relaxed state of mind on the course (which will translate into a more relaxed swing, and subsequently lower scores)…my plan is to put [the] book to the test. Beginning in the new year, I am going to practice a few of the exercises at home. Then, once the weather gets warmer, I will move to the range and finally to the course. I’ll post sometime next season about how I’m progressing.“
I wrote the previous statements with all the gusto one has in the early off-season – you know, that “I can’t wait to get back out there next spring” feeling. Well, an unusually long offseason (more than six months passed before I stepped out on the course again) threw me off my normal routine a bit. And when I finally did resume hacking up courses, my drive to test out some of the techniques in the book had passed.
Not to treat the book like an old girlfriend, but…it wasn’t the book; it was me. Two things had happened in those six months: First, I had never missed playing in April and by May, I was putting pressure on myself to get back out there as quickly as possible. The second thing was…well, it was another book I had read (ok, maybe this is sounding a bit like a breakup).
The other book (Little Balls Big Dreams) is a novel about an average golfer who, after hitting a hole-in-one, starts playing scratch golf. Anyway, there’s a chapter in the book where he attends this golf school that mentally prepares up-and-comers for the tour. In a passage at the beginning of that chapter, the group is being taught how much time it really takes to play a round of golf:
“It takes only two seconds to execute the average golf swing. ‘Bout a second for the back swing and another for the downswing and follow through…Say you shoot a 70. 70 times two seconds equals 140 seconds…I’m going to teach you boys how to make the best of those 140 seconds. Take charge of them. And how to use the other three hours, fifty-seven minutes and forty seconds to channel your energy [so you can] focus your attention on those two minutes and twenty seconds.“
Of all the swing advice I’ve been given; all that I have read – over 20 years worth…nothing has stuck with me as much as that previous passage. It just makes sense. You can do whatever you want during the rest of the round (BS with your buddies; take-in the scenery; ponder the type of beer you’ll have in the 19th-hole…whatever). But for those two minutes and 20 seconds (or in my case, 3 minutes and 6 seconds) focus on nothing else but making the perfect golf shot.
And that’s what I have tried to do on each and every shot this season – focus on the three minutes and six seconds that count. Hey, if I was willing to take golf advice from a guy who doesn’t golf, why not take it from a fictional novel?
So, has it worked?
Simply put…Yes. Am I a scratch golfer? No. But for not golfing all that much this year, I have been playing much better than I expected. My scores are a full two-strokes down from last season and I’ve been hitting better shots overall. I can be BS-ing right up to the point where I take my stance. And then I try to clear my mind, focus on the shot I want to make and swing. Those are my two seconds.
Interestingly, it’s not always easy to remember I should be focusing right before my swing – and when I don’t, I tend to mis-hit my shot. Once I start focusing again though, my results improve. Perhaps many of you do this already, but it didn’t register for me until I read the passage above.
Nothing against “Golf Sense” – it’s a good book and in fact, it basically conveys much of the same advice (albeit in a more complex way). Perhaps I’ll re-read it again in the future. But for now, I’m sticking with the best swing advice I’ve ever received.
Golfstinks’ Most Hilarious Blog Posts of ALL TIME
Believe it or not, it will be two years this Sunday that the Golf Stinks Blog launched into a profusion of snarky editorials and hilarious observations about the golf industry, the PGA Tour and the mainstream sports media that cover this fine game.
So get your party hats on because in celebration of dos años de diversión loca, we’re re-posting our top 5 knee-slapers of all time – those LMFAO gems that golfers of all skill levels can enjoy!
So without further adieu…
Number 5
Me, Swing Advice and a Nervous Breakdown – Back in 2010, an extremely overwhelming issue of Golf Magazine convinces Stinky Golfer Greg that swing tips on the printed page make about as much sense as wearing waders in the desert. He wants to know what ever happened to good old fashioned lessons from your pro?
Number 4
Attention Public Golf Courses: Make Room for Judge Smails – After reading a study that reveals private courses are changing over to public courses more frequently due to the economy, Stinky Golfer Greg decides to acquaint his hoity-toity golfing brethren with muni course etiquette.
Number 3
Golf Gadgets; WTF? (Part 1) – In part 1 of this continuing series, Stinky Golfer Pete takes a jeering look at the ridiculousness of golf training aids.
Number 2
Ten Sure-Fire Signs You’re In for a Long Afternoon on the Golf Course – While just walking from the clubhouse to the first tee, Stinky Golfer Greg provides tell-tale observations that should make you think twice about teeing off that day!
Number 1
Golf and A Wife: A Tale of Three Women In One (Part 3) – What happens when one day, your non-golfing spouse asks to join you on the links? As Stinky Golfer Chris‘ worst golf nightmare nearly comes true, he remains calm, cool and collected while adverting what would have been certain disaster.
Well, wasn’t that a good way to help celebrate our 2nd birthday?
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