Golf Life

Recreational golfers don’t always understand the etiquette-side of the game. Sure, most know not to pull the cart up onto the green or talk while someone is swinging, but what about those unspoken etiquette rules of golf? Here we examine 10 of them.

I’ve been golfing for a quarter of a century now and in that time, I have played many-a-round with the average golfer – heck, I’m one myself. Now don’t get me wrong, for the most part, we weekend hacks are a good group of folks. But as with any group, there are little annoying idiosyncrasies common amongst its members. Below are ten such behaviors…

1. Bragging about how good they are.
“I normally break 80 at this course.” Yeah, and I normally return home to a harem of supermodels every night. It never fails – as soon as someone tells me how great a golfer they are, they end up shooting the worst round of their life – how is that possible? It’s particularly embarrassing when they tell you how great they “typically” play whilst in the midst of a wretched round. “You say you shot 78 here last week? Wow, today’s 102 must be so uncharacteristic of you.” So save yourself the embarrassment – please don’t be that guy.

2. Dressing like they’re on the tour.
I know exactly the type of person I’m dealing with the moment I walk up to the first tee at my local muni and the guy I’m paired up with looks like he’s on tour.  Long pants in July – really? Shirt tucked in with a white belt? Come on!  Whatever happened to keeping it real? As mentioned in #1, this is the guy that’s about to have the “worst round of his life.”

3. Cheating.
Look, I’m not saying you have to play exactly by the rules. By all means bend them if you want – or even outright break them! Take that mulligan; give yourself a preferred lie – it doesn’t matter as long as everyone your playing with knows the particular rules of your group. But please don’t let me catch you dropping a ball and then pretending you found your drive – it’s embarrassing for me and you. Remember: No one likes a cheater.

4. Playing from the wrong tees.
Perhaps the first thing a new golfer should learn is which tee-box they belong on. Being behind a group that duffs all their drives off the championship tees is perhaps the single most annoying thing on this list. It’s especially worse if they’re all dressed like they’re on tour (see #2). Here’s the deal: If you can’t break 90, always play from the forward tees. For everyone else, use the slope rating and get your asses on the correct tee box.

5. Not yelling fore.
Perhaps the second thing new golfers should learn is to yell fore. Not yelling fore is not only poor golf etiquette, but its downright negligent. If you’ve ever been hit (or even come within a few feet of being hit) by an errant golf shot, you know how scary it can be. A simple forewarning (where the name “fore” comes from) is all that’s needed. If you think your ball is going anywhere near someone, please do not hesitate – yell fore at the top of your lungs.

6. Stealing/playing someone else’s ball.
Few things are more annoying than watching someone take or play your golf ball from a couple hundred yards away. If you stumble across a ball in the middle of the fairway, it probably belongs to somebody else, so please don’t pick it up and put it in your bag. Likewise, please don’t hit it before checking that it’s really yours. Balls have numbers on them for a reason – make it a point to know which ball your playing so you can avoid any confusion out on the course!

7. Spending too much time searching for lost balls.
Searching for lost balls is one of the main reasons golf has a slow play problem. I like to use my “two-minute-warning” rule – you get two minutes to look for your ball and then it’s time to drop one and move on. Now I realize the USGA rulebook allows for five minutes, but that entire book was written for tournament play. Recreational golf is a different story and needs separate rules. And don’t start on how expensive balls are – the price of your golf balls should be directly correlated to how often you lose them. For example, I typically play refurbished or recycled balls – name brand balls that have been cleaned up and repacked for half the price. My handicap: 18. You can’t say I don’t know how to keep it real.

8. Unnecessarily long pre-shot routines.
Really? Four practice swings and an additional half-minute of waggle time is necessary before you even address the ball? This goes for on the greens as well – do you really need to line-up your putt from every possible angle? Not only can these excessive pre-shot routines be annoying for your playing partners, but they also contribute to slow play. I’m not saying have no routine (in fact, one practice swing and a few seconds of waggle have been proven to calm the nerves), but just don’t overdo it.

9. Constantly making excuses for poor play.
“Oh, I didn’t keep my head down on that shot.” Or, “I slept wrong and it’s affecting my drives.” How about the old…”That last triple bogey really got into my head.” We always feel the need to explain our poor play, don’t we? Whatever happened to just plain stinking? Actually, an entire book has been written about how to use different excuses for playing poor golf. Look, there’s no reason to be embarrassed –  most people aren’t that good at this game – so there’s no need to make excessive excuses. If you hit a bad shot, it’s probably because you stink…just like everybody else.

10. Giving swing advice.
This is another biggie – that person who is constantly telling you what you’re doing wrong, even though they themselves are playing just as wretchedly. People love to tell you what the problem is, but rarely is their advice welcomed (let alone correct). The general rule of thumb is unless your a certified PGA pro, you shouldn’t be offering anyone swing advice. Even if someone asks me, I typically won’t give it (only if they’re really desperate for help – and then I always preface any advice with a warning that I, like them, also stink). No one likes a know-it-all – especially when that know-it-all is probably wrong.