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Have You Ever Rented Golf Clubs?

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Wouldn’t you rather have your own golf clubs with you? (Photo by Greg D’Andrea)

I have never rented golf clubs. As a matter of fact, I’ve never rented anything golf-related except a cart. I guess I’ve just never had any reason to rent clubs. And since I never have, it kind of makes me wonder who does rent clubs, and why?

Just to show that I have actually put some thought into this, I’ve considered four separate scenarios for playing golf and if there would be any chance that I would need to rent clubs.

#1. A regular round of golf – By regular round, I mean my buddies and I have planned a round of golf for a weekend. This one is pretty simple. Why would I ever need to rent clubs for this, unless I was a complete idiot and forgot my clubs at home. In that case, I don’t deserve to even play that day. It’s like going camping and forgetting your tent.

#2. An unscheduled round of golf – For instance, I’m at work. Another stinky golfer calls and says he has a tee time for 5:30 to play nine before it’s too dark. OK, I can see how someone wouldn’t have their clubs ready for this. But not me. During the golf season, I put my clubs in my trunk, and that is where they stay just in case a situation such as this arises. They will stay there for the entire season…maybe longer.

But even then, I mentioned nine holes. Is nine holes really important enough to rent clubs if I didn’t have them with me? I mean, the clubs may cost more than the round itself.

#3. A golf trip – Now, it’s a golf trip. Why on earth would I not have my clubs with me? Why would anyone go on a golf trip without their clubs? The only reason I can think of is people are worried about bag fees. I’ve seen bag fees range anywhere between $50-$100 round trip. But I’m sure they go higher. In a case like that, I guess I can understand to a point.

But when you consider that renting clubs can cost anywhere between $15-$50, if not more depending upon the course, wouldn’t you just rather bring your own clubs rather than use the rentals?

#4. A non-golf trip – OK, in this situation I can see how you could be stuck without your clubs. But all it takes is a little verification before the trip, and you can be prepared. For instance, this past summer, my wife booked us and another couple a trip to Key West. This was not a golf trip. However, I made sure to check ahead of time if the other guy is a golfer. Sure enough…even though this was not a golf trip, we managed to get a day in at the Key West Golf Club. Just a little preparation and I got to play a course I wouldn’t have had the chance to. And I did it without having to rent clubs.

So to anyone who has rented clubs before, what was the situation? Why did you choose to rent clubs rather than just use your own? Did I miss something above? Let me know. After all, I’m a stinky golfer and there’s a good chance that I just don’t get it.

Swing ’til you’re happy!

You Carry WHAT in your Golf Bag?

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430px-Roll_of_toilet_paper_with_one_sheet_folded_down_in_front
Where do you fit TP in your golf bag?

Several years ago, I was in the middle of hacking up a course on a hot and humid day with a few of my golfing buddies. We’re standing on a secluded tee-box somewhere on the back nine, when one of my pals announces he’ll be right back.

He walks over to his golf bag, unzips one of the pockets, reaches in and pulls out [I kid you not] a roll of toilet paper. A few seconds pass as the rest of us stand there somewhat bewildered.

Finally, Stinky Golfer Chris breaks the silence and exclaims: “Dude, we’re about to tee-off. We’re not gonna wait for you to take a dump in the woods!”

“No, no. It won’t take long,” our golfing buddy assures us, as he begins to head into the underbrush. “It’s only a courtesy wipe.”

Only a courtesy wipe. As gross and ridiculous as that sounded, the rest of us knew what he meant and why he meant it. In fact, I’m pretty sure we all collectively thought the same thing: “Hmmm. A courtesy wipe. That’s actually not a bad idea.”

As I watched my friend trudge back out of the woods and grab his driver, I pondered (in addition to making a mental note to not shake his hand or high-five him after the round was over) was it really that crazy to carry a roll of toilet paper in your golf bag? And for that matter, what else should I be carrying in there that I currently am not?

Flash-forward to present day and I believe I now have a golf bag stocked with the essentials (the trick is to carry what you need without adding any significant weight): First, there’s the obvious stuff: Balls (I usually carry a dozen – hey, you never know when you’ll have a bad day); tees (20 or so); a towel (cotton 23″ x 15″); a stainless steel water bottle; sunscreen; an umbrella; and a wind breaker. Oh, and I also carry the rain hood that came with my bag. We all carry that stupid thing, don’t we? I’m not sure why – It’s not very practical to put on and take off and I rarely play in the rain (which now makes me wonder if I really need the umbrella).

Anyway, on to the not so obvious stuff: I carry a few band-aids (you never know when a callus will crack or a blister will form). A divot-repair tool (I have a neat one from Victorinox); Two cigars (and a lighter); An extra pencil; a couple extra soft spikes; a list of my full- and half-swing club distances (on a small slip of paper and laminated); and a never-warn waterproof Srixon floppy hat (eh, I got it for free). I used to carry the rules of golf booklet too, but have since replaced that with the app version. Oh and get this – I carry a gag exploding golf ball…seriously – This thing bursts into a powdery cloud when struck. The same one has been in my bag for 10 years (I’m still waiting for the perfect time to pull the old ball switcheroo on someone).

So, that’s what I’m packing (still no TP though). And actually, now that I’ve created this list, I remember I need to put some Tylenol or Advil in my bag too (crap…I’m getting old).

What’s in your golf bag?

Gaga, Golf and Gout…

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One of few times I teed-it-up this season. Notice the gut, which is 8 pounds less now.
One of few times I teed-it-up this season. Notice the gut, which is 8 pounds less now.

Seven times. That’s it. That’s all the times I’ve been out on the golf course this season. And of those seven, only one has been 18 holes – the rest have just been nine.

For someone who typically plays 30 times or more in a season (many of which are of the 18-hole variety), just seven rounds through the end of September is a pathetic display of golf neglect. Now I realize that for some of you, seven rounds in one season is actually a good amount of golf. But for me it’s like I didn’t play at all.

Keep in mind that I’m the guy who played all the 18-hole public courses in his state. I’m the guy who writes for a golf blog. And I’m the guy who co-owns a social media site about GOLF! In some way, I feel like I’ve let you all down.

So how does something like this happen? How does a self-proclaimed lover of golf manage to only play a mere seven times in one season? Well, for starters, I got a late start. In fact, most of my golf buddies did too. It was May before we stepped foot on a tee-box.

Perhaps this was mostly my fault. You see, I’m usually the tee-time organizer – calling everyone to make sure they were “in” for a particular Saturday and then booking the time. But this year, I wasn’t doing much organizing. Instead, I was busy playing with blocks; changing diapers; and trying to turn the words “gaga” in to “mama” or “dada.”

My son was born last October – perfect timing (if you asked me at the time), since golf season was basically over. And I wasn’t kidding myself either – I knew once springtime came, I’d be playing less golf because of the new bundle – I even prepared to play half of what I normally would. But so far, I’ve only played a quarter of what I normally would. I’m hoping next year I’ll play a few more rounds, but who knows? Life has changed.

But the baby isn’t the only reason my time on the links has dwindled. Last month I was diagnosed with gout (a build-up of uric acid, typically in the joint of your big toe – and it had me hobbling around for days). I’m 36 years old. What the hell am I doing with gout? Old guys get gout. Ben Franklin had gout. But someone in their 30’s? Come on! (Though it does happen to people younger and in better shape than me).

The Doc says I drink too much beer. Who doesn’t? And, I’m about 30 pounds overweight. Who isn’t? He put me on an anti-inflammatory and told me to alter my diet. After missing two perfectly awesome golf weekends in the past month, I’ve dropped 8 pounds and the hobbling has dissapeared. But it can come back if I’m not careful, and I really don’t want to go on a uric acid-reducing drug for the rest of my days. Again, life has changed.

It’s been an interesting year to say the least: The baby has been an unbelievable joy; the lack of golf, a disappointment; and the gout, a wake-up call. But there’s still at least a month left in the golf season up here in the Northeast. My son’s first birthday will take up one of those weekends, but let’s see if I can squeeze in a round or two before the last leaf falls.

You know, it’s years like this that make you appreciate every time you’re out on the golf course.

The Beginning Of The End To My Golf Season

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Does football mark the end of your golf season? (Photo via Pixabay)

It’s already begun. This past Thursday night Stinky Golfer Tom shows up at my house, beer in hand, ready to watch the first NFL game of the season. This will be the official start to my favorite time of year…football season.

Every year, immediately after the Super Bowl, I find myself already anxious for the start of the next season. It’s not just the fact that I love the sport itself. It’s everything that goes along with it. Getting together with friends to watch the games, the fantasy football leagues, maybe a few pools here and there…and of course a Super Bowl party.

However, I guess the start of the football season is a bit bittersweet as well. As much as I love it, it also means my golf season (as little as I played this year) is coming to an end. Football marks the nearness of autumn, with winter soon to follow. And being that here in CT we’ve already had a few sub-70 degree days, winter may be here sooner than expected.

But it’s the fact that this weekend, the first of many this this season that a few buddies will head over to my place to watch the games and stuff our faces rather than playing golf on a Sundays, tells me something about where golf stands in my sports life. As far as my buddies and I watching football, I’ve mentioned before that we don’t get together to watch golf .

When it comes to fantasy sports, I’ve been participating in fantasy football for over 15 years now. But fantasy golf? I took my first shot at it this year and was bored with it by week 3. I don’t really know enough of the players on the tour, and I don’t follow the tour closely enough to care. So fantasy golf quickly becomes dull.

But what about a pool or some type of wagering? That always makes things much more interesting. Well, it simply isn’t common enough for golf. I’ll get into Super Bowl pools as well as some regular season pools or random wagers. But golf…no one cares enough. And if someone approached me about a golf pool, I’d probably do it. I bet on everything. Hell, I even put a few bucks in on the Home Run Derby this year! But no betting equals no additional interest.

But obviously, the most important part of football season is the games themselves. I desire enough to watch the games that, from this weekend on, golf is now limited to Saturdays only. If golf is going to be played on a Sunday (and that’s a BIG if), it will be limited to nine holes only and must be played locally or early enough that I can be home in time for the start of the games.

I love playing golf. But one of the things I love most about it is the camaraderie with my golfing buddies. Just hanging out with my friends on the course, having a beer and some grub afterward are part of what’s great about getting out and golfing. But watching the games with my friends provides the same camaraderie and includes the non-golfers. Not too mention the other factors mentioned earlier and even more excitement and interest is provided.

But as much as I love football, it can’t actually take the place of being out on the golf course with my pals. Well, on Saturdays anyway…

Swing ’til you’re happy!

The Course Ranger: The PoPo of Golf

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How often have you been pulled over by the course ranger?
How often have you been pulled over by the course ranger?

Every once in a while, my entire foursome will be off their game. Sure, typically one or two of us will pretend we’re Lewis & Clark on a wilderness surveying mission, but all four? That’s a bit rare. But, it happens. One of the consequences of this anomaly is the course ranger.

I penned a post last year about how starters hate me. Well, sometimes the course rangers hate me too. Who are these officers of the links, mounted on their E-Z-GO steeds?

I’m well-aware of when my group is playing wretchedly. When the four of us have been poking around the edge of the woods, searching for where we “think” our balls should have ended up, I’ll glance back at the tee and see the foursome behind us. They’re standing there with one hand on their hip; and the other on the club (which is supporting their body weight). From that posture alone, you know you’re playing too slow.

And then it happens (much to the chagrin of your foursome and the satisfaction of the one behind you) – The ranger arrives on the scene. Easily identified by the little red flag fluttering atop his cart, you can feel that pit in your stomach begin to churn. That little flag conjures up the same emotions as blue and red flashing lights in your rear-view mirror, doesn’t it? Except this time you’re doing the exact opposite of speeding.

“Guys, here comes the ranger. Just act cool and we’ll be OK.”

I quickly check on the group in front of us to see if I can blame them. Crap. Those speed demons have already teed-off on the next hole. By now, the ranger is pulling up alongside us. We try and act nonchalantly – as if we weren’t playing slowly at all!

“You fellas need to pick up the pace. We’ve got a couple groups waiting on you back there.”

Sheepishly, I respond: “Yeah, sorry sir. We’ll drop a ball and move on.”

Then the ranger speeds away down the cart path to wrangle-in other slow play offenders. He let us off with a warning…this time.

I have never been kicked off a golf course (if you have, please tell us about it) but had the ranger tell us to get a move on a few times. And, I’ve played courses where they put you on the clock (one course in particular actually handed us a card that told us exactly what time we should be at each hole based on our starting time)!

Ah, such is life on the golf course and we golfers need to be aware of this. No one likes slow play – no one. The courses want to push as many groups through as possible; and golfers don’t like waiting behind a group slower than themselves. So, there’s people to enforce the law of the links.

Most of these guys are retired, and they take their jobs very, very seriously. But their numbers are dwindling as many courses can no longer afford to have them out there. That may be good news for some slow play offenders, but bad news for everyone else.

The course ranger – even for my foursome who has been told to step-up the pace on a number of occasions – is still a vital part of the game and very much needed in today’s environment of excruciatingly slow play.

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