GolfStinks

A Golf Blog for the Rest of Us!

Sloppy Motherf***in’ Golfers!

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I might not be the most organized or the neatest but I try my best to keep my surroundings in order wherever I am. It’s vital to an overall cleanliness for us and the environment. I’m not trying to push any of my views on you, all I’m saying is sloppy golfers piss me off.

If you are somewhat of an obsessive-compulsive and live or work with someone that is not – you will go crazy. Same goes on the course. Why do some people feel the rules put in place by the course do not necessarily apply to them. For instance, that sod bucket on the tee box is not an ashtray.

I realized this sloppiness can actually start before we even get to the course. My buddy (sloppy golfer) decided that he will drive and insisted on picking us up. Fine. When he arrived and we went to put our bags in his trunk, what do you know – trash, debris and dirty laundry filled to the brim. WTF! Dude, clean your car. I’m not putting my bag on top of your dirty drawers and an old Wendy’s bag.

So, I volunteer to sit in the back seat…with my bag. Luckily, the trip was short but the whole time I was in the car my skin was crawling. We arrive, get our stuff together and head to the first tee. Sloppy golfer breaks out a new glove and flings the plastic sleeve it was in landing just short of the garbage can. His reply “Eh, close enough.” I can see the way this day will be going.

The combination of him not replacing his rather large divots, littering, crap falling out of his bag and slamming his putter on the green really tested my patience that day. The beers I had at the 19th hole were so well received after experiencing that. I hope it never happens again…the sloppiness not the beer. Beer is good.

 
Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

My Golf Game And The Stock Market

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A couple of my favorite movies are Wall Street and Boiler Room. These movies have definitely played a role in influencing my interest in the stock market. Just to clarify though, my interests lie on the legal side of the trading business and NOT the illegal side as these movies might depict. That said, I figured I would get into penny stocks and try to day trade a bit. This should have been the first warning sign.

The small amounts of trading I did and the more I read into the hype and bashing on the message boards, the more I saw a parallel between my golf game and the stock market. There are factors that coexist within these two worlds and I could swear it’s the same mentality just a different outlet. No wonder I stink at both.

Starting things off with what just happens to be one of our biggest pet peeves – advice. Hey, all you Gordon Gekko and Hank Haney wanna be’s…keep it to yourself. I learned a while ago that opinions are like you know what – everyone has one. Same goes with advice. I should have known not to take a stock tip from the guy next to me at the bar.

Another factor is performance. Most of the stocks I’ve invested in and my golf game seem to follow the same trend. Once I buy in or once I step foot on the course there’s a general feeling of excitement. I think my penny stock will go through the roof and I’ll shoot an incredible round. Well, that all changes when reality sets in and everything goes down hill…quickly.

So much for rubbing elbows with Jim Cramer and Phil Mickelson.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

Proper Ball Care And Off-Season Usage

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Fellow hacks, we must must properly care for our balls during the cold months. It is important that our balls receive the T.L.C. they deserve. Our balls are a vital part to our success…on the course, of course. Get your mind out of the gutter!  A couple of important things to remember.

  • Keep them clean – Dirt that stays on golf balls for longer periods of time will be harder to clean.
  • Keep them at room temp – Too cold, no good. Too hot, no good. Room temp, just right! Balls stay better in proper conditions…like I had to tell you that.

Now that the golf season has ended, what else can I do with all these golf balls? Well, besides some indoor putting, I thought I would go over other uses for golf balls that you might not know. If you have a green thumb and care about the environment you can use old golf balls on the bottom of planters and flower pots. The spacing between them should give you good drainage.

If you are a handyman and golf fanatic it is fairly easy to make these into drawer and cabinet knobs. If your significant other thinks golf ball accents and motifs are too much you can tone it down a bit and keep it to your garage or work bench drawers.  

You know those knots in your mid or upper back? Well, golf balls could help. What you need:

  • a golf ball
  • a wall
  • you  

Place the golf ball on the problem area between your back and the wall. Apply some pressure by leaning against the ball and move in circular fashion. If this is too intense you may substitute a tennis ball…Sally. PLEASE NOTE: I am not a medical professional and not responsible for any injury you may inflict on yourself.

If you know of any other uses for golf balls please share them.

Hit’ em long…yell FORE!

No More Fall Golf…Thanks Sandy!

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If you live in the Northeast then the names Sandy and Irene will  forever be branded in our heads. Kind of like how Katrina is to those in the New Orleans area. Last year Irene pretty much ended my golfing season early and that pissed me off. Now, Sandy has ruined any chance of hitting my local track for a last round or two.

In the overall scheme of things not being able to golf is petty compared to the real problems the last two hurricanes caused. I guess you really don’t know the destruction these natural disasters can do unless you live it. I was very lucky to only have power knocked out at my house where a couple miles down the road houses were pretty much washed out to sea. Not too mention New Jersey and New York took a much harsher beating.

So, how can I help? Glad you asked! Check out these links below.

Also, check out this list that Forbes has compiled of how we can help. If you have any other links please add it in a comment or let me know and I’ll post it.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

Pay To Walk With A Pro?

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An interesting email came across my desk from a buddy of mine. He’s not a golfer nor does he know much about the sport/game except Tiger Woods is a golfer. Apparently, the link in his email sent me to a company selling “VIP” packages to walk with a pro during the World Challenge presented by Northwestern Mutual.

I thought to myself, that sounds like it would be pretty cool. I mean it’s not like I’m making the tour any time soon why not feel what it’s like, right? Just think how jealous your buddies would be. Oh man, they would be so envious they wouldn’t know what to do. Or, would they be laughing at you because you just dropped $3000 like a jackass to walk a course with a pro.

Yep! $3000 dollars to follow a pro around. Let me also add that to walk with Tiger it costs more, they ask for you to call to get pricing. How much interaction will there be? If I’m hanging with a pro, I got some questions, man. I can almost see how this would go down. The golfer’s agent meets with you first and gives you the run down on what you can ask and what not…forget that.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m sure it would be a great experience and some of the pros are probably really cool people but $3000 sounds pretty hefty. What do you think? Would you pay to walk the course with a pro during a tournament? 

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!  

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