Why Golf Is Aggravating.

August 19, 2011 | By Pete Girotto | 4 Comments

tomb stone golfer — Golf is aggravating. And then you see this in the woods… (photo by Greg D’Andrea)

If you really sit back and think about it, golf seems more aggravating than it was fifty years ago (not that I was around fifty years ago but…). I mean with the advancement in technology and the overall progression of the game, shouldn’t we be better golfers? We should be…but for some reason the majority of us still stink.

Interesting isn’t it? We still dominate the demographic as average golfers and all the while there are so many golf improvement gadgets, videos and what not that supposedly make us better players. Now, if we all improved our game, that would still make us average.

Not to get all Sigmund Freud-ish but, if we all lower our scores that would change the national average from 100 (more or less) to 90 or 80 for example. And if the majority scores a 90 or 80 that would make it the national average – therefore grouping us back into the average golfer category all the while trying to improve our game.

Can you see why it’s frustrating? We bust our friggin’ ass to be better golfers only to be…average. Fifty years ago golfers were shooting the same scores as they are today even without all those golf gadgets we have now. Hmmmmm…sounds like a racket. Golf stinks but man I love this game.

Hit’em long…yell FORE!!!

Golfstinks’ Most Hilarious Blog Posts of ALL TIME

August 12, 2011 | By Golf Stinks | 1 Comment

Small Golfstinks Logo Reflective Believe it or not, it will be two years this Sunday that the Golf Stinks Blog launched into a profusion of snarky editorials and hilarious observations about the golf industry, the PGA Tour and the mainstream sports media that cover this fine game.

So get your party hats on because in celebration of dos años de diversión loca, we’re re-posting our top 5 knee-slapers of all time – those LMFAO gems that golfers of all skill levels can enjoy!

So without further adieu…

Number 5

Me, Swing Advice and a Nervous Breakdown – Back in 2010, an extremely overwhelming issue of Golf Magazine convinces Stinky Golfer Greg that swing tips on the printed page make about as much sense as wearing waders in the desert. He wants to know what ever happened to good old fashioned lessons from your pro?

Number 4

Attention Public Golf Courses: Make Room for Judge Smails – After reading a study that reveals private courses are changing over to public courses more frequently due to the economy, Stinky Golfer Greg decides to acquaint his hoity-toity golfing brethren with muni course etiquette.

Number 3

Golf Gadgets; WTF? (Part 1) – In part 1 of this continuing series, Stinky Golfer Pete takes a jeering look at the ridiculousness of golf training aids.

Number 2

Ten Sure-Fire Signs You’re In for a Long Afternoon on the Golf Course – While just walking from the clubhouse to the first tee, Stinky Golfer Greg provides tell-tale observations that should make you think twice about teeing off that day!

Number 1

Golf and A Wife: A Tale of Three Women In One (Part 3) – What happens when one day, your non-golfing spouse asks to join you on the links? As Stinky Golfer Chris‘ worst golf nightmare nearly comes true, he remains calm, cool and collected while adverting what would have been certain disaster.

Well, wasn’t that a good way to help celebrate our 2nd birthday?

Golf Genie is Genius

June 5, 2010 | By Greg D'Andrea | 2 Comments

We here at Golfstinks don’t typically review golf products – in fact, we tend to poke fun at all the crazy gadgets out there. So when we post a review of something, it’s because we feel it can serve some use to the average weekend golf hack.

That being said, a few weeks ago I was contacted by someone over at Golf Genie who asked me if I would be interested in receiving their product – the Tee to Green Pocket Guide. Not being able to pass up something for free, I decided to see what this pocket golf guide had to offer.

First, let me tell you this is no zany golf gadget – it’s a practical, quick reference guide to pulling-off all the different golf shots you may encounter out on the course.

A few years ago, I read a tip in a golf magazine that actually helped me (I think it may have been the only time that’s happened)! Anyway, Nick Faldo recommended creating a tiny spreadsheet listing all your club distances (along with your half-swing distances). Then print it out, laminate it and keep in your golf bag. You have no idea how much that little paper has helped me decide which club to use while out on the course – it was the best thing I ever did to improve my game.

First section of Golf Genie? Same thing. It shows the average distance for each club for both men and women (perfect for beginners), but then gives you space to write in your own distances (once you get those down to a science). Golf Genie then proceeds to breakdown the grip, swing, shot-making, chipping, putting and even bunker play and advanced shots – all neatly and clearly explained while using graphics to enhance your understanding.

I pointed out in a post recently one of the major problems with reading swing tips in a magazine: How are you supposed to remember all the stuff you read once you’re out on the golf course? Well, Golf Genie solves this problem by packing all the swing info you’ll ever need into one pocket-sized guide – each section conveniently tabbed for easy reference. What I like though is they don’t try and get too fancy on you – they just show you the basics – which are usually what you need when you’re a beginner or have been struggling with a slice or hook (it sort of clears your head, you know? Gets you thinking straight again – back to the basics).

OK, I know this is starting to sound like an infomercial now, but Golf Genie has already shaved a few stokes off my last round – seriously. I corrected my grip mid-round based on a diagram in the guide and subsequently my shots straightened out over the last few holes.

Golf Genie has found permanent residence in my golf bag – had I not received my copy gratis, I would have gladly forked-over the $15 for it. Even more affordable is the app version, which is only $5 on the Apple app store.

So yeah, Golfstinks typically avoids telling people how they can improve their game. I mean, it’s your game, who are we to audaciously think it needs improvement? But when something affordable, practical and truly helpful actually comes along, trust us…we’ll let you know.

Golf Gadgets; WTF? (Part 2)

October 20, 2009 | By Pete Girotto | Leave a Comment

Ok, round deux! This just gets better…I think I’m in the wrong business. Everybody wants to lower their score and will do anything (including selling their soul to the devil) to improve the ol’ handicap. Maybe I should design something that incorporates all of these devices. Something along the lines of a suit with all the gadgets attached…Damn man, you will definitely get all the chicks!

What they say: The Helicopter is a simple concept that has proven to be very effective. Just line up the red blades to the target line in all positions and follow the easy to understand steps and you will hit the ball straight…it’s that simple!

What I Say: Weeeeeeeeee! Look at the colors go round n’ round…

What they say: The Power Wrist™ is a new easy to use self-training golf aid that teaches golfers how to have the proper positioning of the wrist and arm during the entire swing. What I Say: The Power Wrist™ helps with your swing? I’ll tell you what a powerful wrist helps with…trust me…I know.

What they Say: Protator kills any slice! What I Say: Protator looks like it belongs in a proctologist’s office…ouch! And what’s with the stance…

What They Say: Loosen up before your golf round, build golf muscles, straight and flexibility, and even hit balls to identify and fix golf swing flaws with this golf club weight. What I Say: Holy crap, this shaft warmer does all that? Shaft warmer…

What They Say: The Swingscope is the first of its kind swing teaching device and uses direct Bio-Feedback to guide the golfer to utilize the proper golf specific muscles in order to ingrain the correct muscle memory with respect to coil, lower body resistance, stability and the dynamic relationship between a fundamentally sound hip and shoulder turn. What I say: Hey now! An automatic reach-arounder…who would have thought? Ladies, flip it around and use it as a chastity belt!

What they say:With the Whippy TempoMaster® you will learn to:

Relax your hands and arms and swing the club head with incredible speed and control
Strike the ball using the large muscle that runs along the left side of your back (the lattismus dorsi muscle)
Swing hard without using your arms or hands to initiate the force of the swing
Keep your left arm connected to your rib cage
Transfer your weight from one side to the other correctly and smoothly with rhythm
Drive the ball really far, time and time again

What I say: HAAAAAAAAA! Whippy Master?!?!?!

Da da da da da…Crack that whip!
When a problem comes along…you must whip it!
Now whip it!
Whip it good

Hit’em long…yell FORE!

Golf Gadgets; WTF? (Part 1)

September 25, 2009 | By Pete Girotto | 2 Comments

Game improvement or WTF was I thinking?!?!?!?

Ok, so I did some research into the phenomenal business of golf-swing-aids* and couldn’t help but take a step back and say “You gotta be F$%#in’ kidding me!” Does this stuff really work? In Part 1 of this periodic series, I offer a little side-by-side comparison of what they say, and what I say. Enjoy…and please don’t take offense.
What they say: Get the Right Angle with Right Link! The Right Link teaches you the proper role of the right arm throughout the golf swing. It develops the width and full extension you need for a more powerful, on-plane swing.

What I say: Steve Austin, golfer, a man barely alive…Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to make the world’s first bionic golfer. Steve Austin will be that golfer, better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster…

What they say: Swingyde will provide you with the feedback necessary to hinge the wrists correctly and assure that the face is perfectly square throughout the swing.
What I say: Holy $%#@!!! Vishnu has reincarnated to an amateur golfer people, amazing!

What they say: LASER PUTTER: This is a laser light attached to your regular putter; it will allow you to see where you are actually lining up the putter.

What I say: By some freak accident the Military Channel and the Golf Channel’s broadcast signal bounced off the same satellite at the same time and this is what happened (Thank you, Thank you! This took me some time to come up with…).

What they say: The purpose of the impact bag is to train your muscles to learn the point your club is supposed to impact the ball. By repeating your swing over and over into the bag, hitting the proper spot every time, you develop muscle memory.

What I say: Muscle memory? Bull feces! If you suck, you’re muscles are just going to remember to slice it two fairways over instead of one.

What they say: This golf swing trainer is designed to provide golfers with the swing mechanics and consistency needed to reinforce proper weight shift.

What I say: Correct me if I’m wrong but, I believe if you work in a warehouse they give you one of these for free…

What they say: The Explanar is a complete training system incorporating the swing plane, the biomechanics of the golf swing, and a fitness training aid.

What I say: You got some splainin’ to do, Explanar! How the hell did you manage to take out the ceiling fan, the urn with grandpa’s ashes and the glass top to the coffe table? Oh, right…game improvement. Forget game improvement, I think Explanar has a future in home improvement.

What they say: I couldn’t imagine what they could say.

What I say: How the F$%# do you play 18 holes with this contraption? Looks like someone is a closet S&M fan…kinky.

*Disclaimer: I stink at golf and am in no way an expert on golf, game improvement or anything of its likeness. Please note that this was done for humor and not intended to harm anyone or anything. If you do not find this funny, sorry Bub.